self-confidence
Empaths Need Firm Psychosocial Boundaries
Psychosocial balance is tricky for the empath. It requires managing expectations, checking our reactions and emotions, and most especially setting boundaries. Because it is so easy for us to link into the feelings and emotions of those around us, empaths often forget that others may not respond in kind.
For the empath it’s all about balancing your intuitive gifts with your expectations, and finally your responses. Work, friendships, relationships, all the things that encompass our daily lives, require vigilance to ensure that balance is maintained, or chaos will ensue.
For the Type A empath, jobs, friendships and relationships can end very abruptly with major repercussions. The more assertive empath tends to have the motto of “do unto others before they do unto you.” They will leave a job, a relationship or a friendship at the drop of a hat. The more subdued, timid empath tends to stay in miserable job situations, one-sided friendships, and sometimes downright abusive intimate relationships.
At work especially it is very important for all empaths to remember that there is almost always going to be some personality clashes. Others do not always view us favorably. Remember that you are there to do a job – your job. Staying focused on your work, the requirements of that job and your performance is your primary responsibility. Confronting someone, especially a superior, with “what’s your problem, I know you don’t like me” is counterproductive. Similarly the typical response of the introverted empath to quit, or at least never address any issues, is also futile.
Yes, it can be gut-wrenching or infuriating for empaths to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that a co-worker or boss doesn’t care for them, or has it out for them, but utilize your gift! As an empath you can read the feelings and intentions of others. This gives you a map to the personalities you are dealing with. Use that information to moderate your own responses to the situation and the individuals you are dealing with in your professional environment.
How To Find Your Direction In Life
As a professional psychic, I have done readings for many people over the years who have lost their sense of direction in life. They usually ask questions about where there life might be going.
“Where do you want it to go?” I then reply.
“To a better place!” is the frequent response, although they typically do not know what they really want, or why they even want it!
The purpose of a psychic reading, I then explain, is to look at what possibilities and opportunities life has to offer each person. However, being co-creators with the Divine, God, Source, Spirit, the Universe, we first need to get clarity about what we actually want from life. After all, how can the Universe send you what you wish for, when you don’t know what it is yet?
Once we are fully aware and clear about what we want, we can begin asking for it and align our energy to the desired end result. This is how we ultimately attract what we desire and deserve – more often than not with greater speed and abundance.
Have you been tossed and turned by the storms of life to such the extent that you no longer quite know where you are heading, or need to be? If so, then you need to find a sense of direction. To set your internal compass towards a more fulfilling, meaningful life blessed by the Universe, consider the following strategies:
Go From Inactive To Proactive
Stepping outside of one’s comfort zone is easier said than done. However, to find new direction in your life you must end the procrastination. Figure out what you really want in life and start taking measurable action steps to begin achieving it.
Plucking An Eyelash Changes The Universe
The decisions you make today will decide the outcome of your life tomorrow. No matter how small or big these decisions may seem to be.
We have all been in those situations where we had to make an important decision. Should I leave, or should I stay? Should I pursue a new relationship, or should I stick with the one I am currently in? Is all this effort really worth it? One of the most difficult things you will ever have to do is make that all-important life changing decision.
When my grandpa was in the hospital, we had to make the tough decision to either turn off his life support or keep him alive and let him keep on taking morphine. We made the decision to let him go. Fortunately, he made it easy for us to decide, because it was his wish in life that it should be done, if ever it had to come to that.
Afterwards he did come to me in spirit and shared that he was grateful we did it after all. I knew we had made the right choice, but it was still nice getting that confirmation from him directly.
But such are not the only challenging decisions we face in life. I deal with people every day who face difficult choices or are at a crossroads in life. Sometimes they face what may appear to be a simple decision, but it is not. They ask me things like, “Should I go with this new guy, who contacted me on Facebook, or should I work things out with my marriage of 25 years?”
I always tell people to let their intuition be their guide. I get a lot of people, women mostly, asking me how do they know to trust there intuition; how do they know it is guiding them in the right direction? I tell them to spend some time just being quiet, and to really meditate and feel what their Higher Self is telling them to do.
Be Comfortable In Your Shoes
Shoes have always been irresistible for me. In my view you cannot have too many pairs of shoes! You need different shoes to go with different outfits.
When doing a psychic mediumship reading, often the spirit I’m communicating with will say to the client, “Don’t try to cram your feet into shoes that don not fit. If you do the end result will be a bunion on your foot.”
It is a metaphor in my psychic ‘data base’ for don’t waste time on people, places or things that just are not working for you.
When I am traveling, I love to ‘people watch at the airport,’ while I have waiting time between flights. Many people spend this time texting on their phone, others play games on their tablet or laptop, or some still read a good book. Then there are the ‘people watchers’ like me that observe things like shoes.
People from different places all over the world are truly interesting to watch. Many travel as comfortably as possible in comfy clothes and shoes. Others prefer to be dressed fashionably, sacrificing comfort for looks. Businessmen typically stroll by in a suit, tie and shiny shoes.
It’s interesting with men, as one tends to see some in sneakers or some other comfortable shoe, including the occasional colorful shoe or sandal. It is however the women who usually reveal more about their character and personality with their shoe selections.
For many women shoes represent how they feel about and see themselves. I still find it simply amazing to watch some ladies walking in six-inch-high heels. Most walk as if they were born in them. Some can even break into a running pace while wearing them. Got to love the TV-series RuPaul’s Drag Race. The contestants always impress me with their strut in sometimes mind-boggling high heels. Awe-inspiring. Continue reading
Empowering Life Lessons From My Abusive Father
My father Jim had to grow up quickly in the tough pre-war years. He was the eldest of six children and he did not have an easy childhood, nor tolerant parents.
But life became even more challenging for Jim as he reached adulthood. My parents were married at the age of 21 and had three kids by 23, and another baby at 34.
Jim faced many challenges. As a result, to vent his frustration and process all the stress, he often took it out on those closest to him, namely his wife and children.
Let’s just say my father was not always the ideal husband and parent. It became so bad by the time I was an adult that he would do whatever he could to disrupt my life and my family in any way that you might imagine. The sad part was that he actually wanted to hurt us, as doing so gave him a bizarre sense of satisfaction and control over those closest to him.
I first became fully aware of my father’s desire to disempower his kids when I was about 22 years old. The year was 1982, and jobs were very hard to come by in the United Kingdom in those days. I had an office job but wanted something better. So, I decided to attend school for a year to learn shorthand and typing at the local technical college.
One day, I asked my dad if I could get a ride with him to college, because I had to sit an important exam at 2pm that day. He said I need not worry, as he would drop me off in plenty of time. But then he proceeded to make every excuse not to leave the house!
By quarter to two, I started to panic, as I could not possibly walk or catch a bus from my house to the college with so little time. At ten minutes to two, he finally agreed to take me to sit the exam, but then when we got in the car, he said he needed to go to the garage for gas. I looked at the fuel gauge and saw the car’s tank was full.
I suddenly realized he did not want me to sit the exam, as he did not want me to pass it and better myself and become more independent. Thankfully, his sabotage attempt failed, as I did pass the exam and went on to get a higher paying job.
Nagging Thoughts Are Life Lessons
Sometimes I do it too – we all do it. We sit there and rehash stuff in our minds…over and over. We beat ourselves up and say things like, “If only I would have done this”, or “If only I had not said that”.
This kind of thinking really is a waste of time. It can be very draining to sit and analyze things gone by and worry about the past.
Of course, it is certainly better to move with some discernment and caution, while we are going about our day, so we don’t make unnecessary mistakes or fall victim to this kind of regretful thinking later. But it is also important to know that no one is perfect.
Some go about their days not caring what they do or say, and neither do they ever feel the need to do this kind of obsessive thinking about the past. But the majority of us sometimes wonder if we could have done things differently, or feel the need to hold ourselves accountable for every thought, word, action and deed – and that is why we tend to go over things, time and time again.
When you find yourself engaging in this kind of thinking, just stop doing it. Thoughts that just replay events over and over again in your mind is such a waste of energy. Instead consider for a minute how the relevant events are actually a wonderful learning experience.
Those thoughts are there, bugging you, as an opportunity for growth. Ask yourself what you will do or say differently next time, and then you can go about the rest of your day with inner peace and comfort, knowing you that you have gained valuable new knowledge from the experience, and now you can turn it into wisdom for the future. People who learn from themselves and their actions can truly smile, knowing that they can ‘cruise’ along this cosmic wave called life at a higher altitude and higher level of thinking.
The True Power Of Your Worst Nightmares
When I was 24 years old, I was a somewhat disempowered young lady who went to work for the city council. All the girls in the office had an active social life and a boyfriend, except me.
In fact, I was bullied for it and became a bit of a joke around the water cooler, to the extent that I could not properly concentrate on the task at hand and ultimately lost my job. Looking back, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. But, at the time, it did not feel like it.
About a year ago, I started to have a recurring dream that I was 24 again, and sharing an office with the same mean girls, supervised by the same misogynist boss. But this time I had a very different mindset.
In my dream, the boss had criticized my work. So, I pick up the documents he complained about to, walk up to his office, put it on his desk, and tell him politely to type his own letters in future. I was going home now, because I am no longer prepared to put up with his nonsense.
Well, if only I had the same courage back in the old days, I might have suffered far less emotional anguish! I felt really empowered in the dream, and it brought me the realization that I no longer have to suffer fools and that I need to stick up for myself more often. However, the dream also revealed to me that I still had not entirely made peace with the past, otherwise the dream would not be recurring.
The moral of the story is that dreams do not only reflect how we are doing in the present, and how far we have advanced in life, but also what we need to do to work on ourselves to be even better in the future. How powerful and life-enhancing is that!
Another compelling dream I have been having of late is of myself flying a light hovercraft over the estate where I lived as a child. I faced several challenging, traumatizing things growing up there, including poverty and domestic abuse. However, this liberating dream confirms that I have managed to rise above those childhood setbacks and obstacles, and I am now in control of my own life and destiny.