self-care
How To Block The Energy Of Negative People
It seems that negativity and negative people are becoming more prevalent these days. Just a decade ago, I can remember people being afraid to be “publicly negative.” No one wanted to be seen as being negative, or as someone that brought others down.
I find myself avoiding large groups and big events, because I just don’t want negativity and lower vibrations impacting my happy life. But I do go to activities and fun events for the sake of my 3-year-old child, and often some of the moms, women who are forming impressionable minds, can’t seem to help themselves, but go to the negative! A few weeks ago, for example, I complimented a mom on her daughter’s excellent vocabulary and she told me no one had ever said anything like that to her before. She said people just tear each other down nowadays. How sad.
I am currently five months pregnant. I keep having other moms asking me how I am feeling, which is very nice. However, when I say I feel great, they seem surprised, even sometimes put off. They ask, “You don’t have any unpleasant symptoms?” Well, yes. Of course, I do. I’m pregnant! But whatever the symptom is, mild though it may be, it is still a gift to me – a pleasant reminder that I am so incredibly lucky. Even when I got morning sickness, I remember thinking during it, it’s okay, it’s okay, it will be over soon. You’re lucky. This means you’re pregnant!
Actually, I am up writing this blog at 3:00am, because I have pregnancy insomnia. Right now, I am up, because I am pregnant. It’s okay. I’ll sleep properly again in another five years, when both of my kids are older. Meanwhile, I’m getting a lot done that I can’t do during the day.
Learning To Love Yourself
Sadly, my inner-critic began speaking to me at a relatively young age and continued to do so well into my 20s and beyond. Personally, I feel this played a large part in me losing my job at the age of 24, during the 1980s recession. It was a time in which work was so hard to find, and when I finally did, even more negative self-talk began to have an effect on my life.
With no job and no money, I felt worthless, stupid, disliked, and that I had no potential whatsoever. Most fortunately, however, I proved myself to be wrong and later found, from experience, that the way to a happier, more confident and fulfilled life was by learning to slay that inner critic and start loving myself. Furthermore, you can too! Here’s how.
Firstly, remember that you do have a choice. Which one will you listen to: your inner critic or your inner guide? I remember the time when I told my family I was going to start working in the spiritual field. Yes, they laughed and said to me that it would never work out for me, and I that I could not do it.
Sadly, this boosted my inner critic once again, but at this particular time in my life, circumstances and the need for a more fulfilling job made me look at things from a different perspective.
Self-Care Is Not Selfish
Empaths are givers first and foremost. Loyal, sometimes to a fault, and fiercely protective of those they care about… moving at lightning speed whenever called upon.
So, when I say to an empath that it may be time to put themselves first, the response is often mixed. But, if putting yourself first seems too selfish or too difficult, try something simpler: at least put yourself on an equal footing with those you love and care for.
For many sensitive and highly intuitive people, self-care must be an acquired behavior… and it’s a big one. Empaths intend to be selfless, to help, heal and facilitate those they care about. Wonderful! But remember, if this is your goal, then begin with yourself. The stronger, healthier and happier you are then the more effective, nurturing and supportive you can be to those around you.
Putting yourself first doesn’t mean that you are doing only what you want to do all the time, and it doesn’t mean that you are suddenly going to ignore those you care about. What it does mean is making it a priority to take care of your own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs. This can be a tall order and quite the task for some empaths. Don’t wait until you are in a meltdown… frustrated and snapping at everything and everyone around you, with little or no provocation.
Put Your Phone Down, And Start Living!
I was blessed to be born before the arrival of the Internet and smart phone technology. It was a time when kids were playing outside all day, and we often did not want to go home, because we were having too much fun. It was a time when people still connected with each other in person, and on a deeper level. It was a time when we lived life in a much simpler way.
Since then the rise of digital technology and the Internet seemed like it happened overnight, and everyone was instantly hooked, including myself! It was exciting, because information was now just a click away. Communication was faster and easier, and you could ‘connect’ with just about anyone, anywhere, anytime.
But then social media and smart phones came along, and before we realized what hit us, it began to gradually cripple our ability to focus, to truly connect, to be present in the moment, and to be in touch with our spiritual nature. To make matters worse, we started comparing our lives to others: friends, enemies and idols… only to diminish our sense of self-worth.
Last weekend, I was playing the board game Monopoly with my teenage son and his best friend. His friend seemed unable to put his phone down and pay attention to the game. I asked him why, and he said it was because he was addicted to knowing what others were doing, and that he didn’t want to feel “left out.”
The Easter Angel And The Golden Ticket
It was around Easter, one year in the early 1970s, when I had a profound angel encounter. I was playing outdoors with many other children my age. We were eagerly running through a large open field looking for Easter eggs.
Well, they were not exactly real eggs. If you are from my generation, you might remember those plastic eggs that would break open to reveal inside them candy, colorful stickers and small, cheap bracelets. Some also contained little pieces of paper with trivia or inspirational messages. I remember thinking the words on the paper were more valuable to me than the tiny Tootsie Rolls or Hershey Bars.
On this occasion, I soon had a full basket and was sitting on the ground opening up my eggs and stuffing my goodies in the plastic bag we were all given. We were to return the eggs, so they could be recycled.
There was a very angelic looking women at the Easter egg hunt. She was helping some of the children find their eggs. Whenever they seemed to be having a difficult time, she would go to them and say something encouraging, or would help to cheer them up in some way. I kept my eye on her since we arrived, as she stood out from everyone else.
Later, while standing in line to return my empty eggs, she knelt down in front of me and asked, “What did you get?” I opened my bag and showed her all the candy and goodies. Then I lifted my hand and said, “This piece of paper is my favorite.” It was a golden slip of paper which read: It is wise to not put all your time, energy and love in one basket.”
Reclaiming Your Power When A Relationship Ends
One of the main reasons it is so painful to release someone when a relationship ends, is because we have usually invested so much of our time and energy in our connection with that person. In essence, what we are truly missing when we mourn a relationship are parts of our self that we have given away. What we are mourning is the loss of our hopes and dreams, not merely the presence of the person who is no longer in our life.
If this is something you are currently struggling with, I recommend the following ritual designed to help you reclaim your power after a relationship break-up, so that you can restore your inner wholeness and resume your search for true and enduring love.
Supplies
- 3 votive candles: 1 blue, 1 green, 1 yellow
- 1 aqua marine or clear quartz crystal
- rain or sage incense wand
- small mirror
- 3 copper pennies
- 2 tbsp of fresh or dried mint in a small bowl
- 2 tbsp sea salt
The Past Can Prevent Your Future
Why am I stuck? Why am I not advancing? Why can’t I find love? Why is money never coming to me and always flowing out from me? These are questions I struggled with for a long time in my own life.
I delved deep into many aspects of life design, manifesting change, the Law of Attraction, deliberate creating, and personal growth and reinvention. I have watched, listened and been active in more workshops, online webinars and online learning in this genre than most will ever do in a lifetime. I have read the books and taken many notes. I have made the visions boards and spoken the affirmations. But no matter where I turned, I was always confronted with actual reality versus trying to ‘positive think and believe’ something else. How can we believe we are destined to be something different or better simply by speaking it…or visualizing it? The truth is, it isn’t that simple.
In my search for answers I have also watched others who have participated in the forums, seminars and workshops, and actually achieved something significant in their life. And it has been my observation that the people who have truly risen above their circumstances and achieved their dreams, are the ones that did the deeper inner work.