grief
The Sweet Dreams Of Spirit Visitation
Dreaming is one of the best ways for spirit to relay messages to you. When awake we mostly receive information from our senses, but when we are in the dream state, messages from beyond can reach us more easily.
While resting our conscious mind, our subconscious doesn’t need to battle for our attention, so dreams can play out like a movie in our mind and relay spiritual messages in the form of symbols, abstract story lines, or my favorite: past loved ones coming for a visit.
When in dream mode, our right-brain emotion is not challenged by our left-brain logic, making it easy for our subconscious to connect with spirit. In this altered state of consciousness our departed loved ones find it more easy to visit us.
So, how do you know you are just dreaming of a departed loved one, or experiencing an actual spirit visitation? A spirit visit is different from a dream for many reasons. Dreams will be prevalent when you first wake up, but will quickly fade from your memory.
A visitation is an actual visit from spirit. It may feel like a dream, but you will remember it more vividly and you will be able to play it back detail by detail, word for word, and clearly remember and relive the emotions you experienced during the visitation.
After my mother passed, she came to visit me a few months later in a lucid dream. I can still see the pantsuit she was wearing, her hairstyle, how young she looked, and the strong presence of her energy. In the dream she simply walked past me, went outside towards the pecan tree in the backyard, and then faded into the light. No words were spoken, but her brief presence was very comforting. I woke up crying, sobbing with mixed emotions of missing her and the joy being with her for that short moment in time.
Looking Within – A Message From My Guides
As the holiday season starts to ramp up around the world, everything becomes more and more hectic. Travel plans are made early. Gifts are purchased. Party invitations are extended. New outfits are bought. Menus are set. Baking is done. It is a wondrous time of year, to give thanks and to show appreciation to family, friends, neighbors and colleagues.
Under these circumstances, it is understandable that stress abounds too. For some people, in addition to all the excitement, there is a real feeling of obligation. The expectations of others can be overwhelming and, of course, it is impossible to please everyone. There is also the feeling that time is running too short to accomplish everything on the to-do list. Demands on your time can seem endless and unreasonable.
For others, the holiday season can be a very quiet and somewhat lonely time. Old memories can be triggered. Losses can become more heightened and a sense of sadness can prevail. In the Northern Hemisphere, the days get shorter and sometimes much colder, so sunlight isn’t as prevalent to perk you up and lighten your spirit.
Whether you are run off your feet or living a more solitary lifestyle, we recommend that you make some time to look within. A daily meditation habit can do wonders to give you a sense of peace, calm and gratitude. A quiet mind at the start of your day can prepare you for the remainder of each day as it unfolds. A peaceful feeling can help you to put things into perspective so as not to worry, overreact or panic unnecessarily.
Everyone has a ‘little narrator’ inside their head who is constantly chatting up a storm. If this little chatterbox was a real person sitting with you in your living room or in the car, you would eventually ask him or her to stop talking for a while so that you could think, read, watch TV, listen to music, converse, drive, and so on. However, because everyone has grown quite accustomed to this little tag-along giving constant commentary throughout the day, you carry on in spite of the continual interruptions.
The Power Of Prayer
Many people only turn to prayer in times of extreme trouble or fear. I was brought up, however, in a home where one also said grace at mealtime, to give thanks for the food on the table. It is always a good idea to have gratitude for the food that nourishes our body. Prayers were also said before going to bed for the night, asking for good things for our family, as well as our friends, pets and life in general.
It’s my own belief that we come into this world with the knowledge of prayer. It is as natural as breathing, and just as important for our spirit. Prayers do not have to be said out loud to be heard by the Infinite Intelligence, or the energy known as God. The spirit world does not have rules or limitations. There is no time or place as in the material world.
After all, we are body, mind, and spirit. We are spirit residing in a physical body for a while, before we return to the spirit realm. Prayer is one of the ways to get in touch with the Other Side, the place that some call Heaven, our spirit home. Prayer can be a great comfort to those who believe in the hereafter, angels, saints and a God energy. If you are feeling alone in the world, prayer can make you feel a connection with your ancestors that have crossed over before you.
Ignoring The Signs In Matters Of The Heart
Many years ago, while consoling my best friend after a major breakup, it came to me that she was doing everything possible to continue holding on to what Spirit was removing from her life.
Sitting next to her, as she held on to her laptop hoping to find her lover’s name amidst emails, was like witnessing a tragedy. It was a heartbreak that most of us will experience at some point in our lives, either directly or indirectly.
After a year-long courtship, the ‘man of her dreams’ suddenly began to distance himself without any explanation. The calls became less, the frequent text messages disappeared, and there were no longer any plans on the calendar for their usual weekend outings.
I offered my friend a shoulder to cry on, and searched my mind for the appropriate, most comforting words to speak, but I could feel her gradually pulling away. All that mattered to her at that moment was establishing a deeper connection with her missing-in-action lover.
My friend resisted my recommendation to slow down, to find her center, and most of all… to let go. Instead, she suddenly bolted from her chair, threw on her coat and scarf, and fled the scene.
Several hours later, I received a frantic call from her. While parked outside of her boyfriend’s apartment, she saw him leave with his arm around another woman. Apparently, it was very clear from their mutual displays of affection, that he was in love with someone else.
Months went by, with my friend still holding on to the false hope that her love would someday return. Meanwhile, several very nice men attempted to get her attention, but she turned down each and every one. She even received a lucrative job offer, that came with a coveted geographical relocation, but she refused it. She turned her back on this amazing opportunity for fear of moving too far away from her ex.
Memorialize Loved Ones With A Remembrance Table
I have a remembrance table in my home where I display framed pictures of my grandparents, as well as some of the possessions they passed on to me. My eclectic collection also includes a few candles, angel figurines, some essential oils, Grandma’s favorite perfume, grandpa’s favorite cologne, as well as two trees on either side of the table, which I always decorate for the holidays.
My grandparents really enjoyed the holidays. They especially celebrated Halloween and Christmas, their two favorite holidays of the year. The other holidays were also a great time to be at their house, but Halloween and Christmas were always the best!
I believe having a remembrance table, or ancestor altar, really helps to connect us with our loved ones, after they’ve crossed over. I personally don’t worship my ancestors, but I do honor them. You don’t just have to make a remembrance table at a loved one’s funeral, or at weddings or family gatherings. You can make it a permanent part of your home decor, and have it there all year long.
I love the idea of the remembrance table because a funeral should not be the only time you celebrate the life of a deceased loved one. It’s a great way to honor them and the wonderful memories you have to create with them when they were alive.
I’ve put special photographs from different times in their life that were especially joyous and memorable. Family was everything to them, so many of the pictures also include other relatives, such as uncles and their other grandchildren.
Free Yourself With The Power Of Forgiveness
How can we possibly reconcile the feelings of anger and betrayal with a need to forgive? Are we compromising our integrity in doing so?
Forgiveness can seem like an impossibility… but it doesn’t have to be. It’s really one of the few things in life that really matters, whether it means forgiving ourselves, or someone else. It is said that allowing someone to continuously upset you, is to allow them to ‘live rent-free inside your mind.’
Others hurt us all the time. Holding on to this hurt for long periods of time can damage us physically and psychologically. And then there are those ‘little things’… like someone cutting you off in traffic, or forgetting an important date.
One thing forgiveness does not do, is make us forget the source of the pain. What it does is allow a reconciliation with what happened, and allows us to move on in a productive way. When you were a child, perhaps you got hurt with a hot stove burner or electrical outlet. You didn’t (hopefully) spend the rest of your life being angry at stoves or electrical outlets! This is basically how forgiveness also works. We can acknowledge that someone or something caused us to hurt, and be aware of how that happened, but still move past it and get on with our lives.
Holding on to anger and bitterness will color all your relationships, until you learn to forgive and let go. If, for example, you ended a toxic relationship and decided to start dating again, you might not be able to fully trust, because of the possibility of reliving that pain. A truly intimate relationship will never happen without forgiveness.
Love, Joy And Happiness After Years Of Hardship
I have a client who used to be extremely depressed. I recommend she speak to a therapist or counselor instead, because I felt that is exactly what she needed at the time. She had been harboring a lot of bitterness, grief, sadness, anger and other toxic negative emotions for a very long time. She needed professional help that I felt was beyond my scope of expertise.
So, she found a therapist and went for counseling, but months later she told me that the only thing she felt she accomplished was her spending thousands of dollars on help she never really received. She had still found no relief from her deep distress.
She had been bitter for a long time. While raising her children and attending church, her husband would cheat on her. She also worked the entire time the children were young, until they graduated. Meanwhile, he would leave on ‘business trips’ to go and gamble away their hard-earned livelihood, and spend time with other women. Then one day, he met someone he wanted to marry. So, they divorced and he moved far away to be with his new wife. He was a narcissist.
Her sadness and grief was also due to the loss of her mother, whom she had taken care of for 20 years after her father passed. She sacrificed a lot to dedicate herself to serving her mother’s needs. During this time she had no notion of self-care. She suffered on all levels: emotionally, physically, spiritually. She even gave up going to church. She was slowly dying inside and didn’t even know who she was anymore.