grief
Thank You For Leaving Me
Heartbreak is never easy. I have heard the words, “But I love him,” so many times after a break-up. I have also heard, “No one can replace her.” I have even heard, “I’ll never even think about another person in this way, or even try to find someone new.”
Who is this mindset hurting? Look at the reality of it. It’s not hurting the other person, who walked out on the relationship. They walked out for a reason. Often they have also moved on with someone new. The only person being hurt, by hanging on, is the person hanging on.
I have also heard, “She is my soulmate,” or “He is my twin flame.” Well, if they are not on the same page as you in this lifetime, and not committed to making the relationship work, then they are not your soulmate, or twin flame. It takes a commitment from both parties.
Love is subjective. Love has to be equal from both people involved. However, when only one has their heart and soul invested, it will never last. If someone is able to walk out on the first argument, it is definitely not meant to be. If there is ever disrespect, it is also not meant to be.
I have also been at this place in my life. I was devastated when my husband walked out. I thought I had failed, but then I realized the truth. The marriage was over long before this happened. The equality of feelings was long gone, and respect was non-existent. He controlled what I did, even how I thought at times, and was wreaking havoc on my self-esteem.
Opening Up To The Spirit Realm
All of us will experience the passing of a loved one at some point in our lives. It is very painful to deal with the aftermath of such a loss, but the ability to communicate with our loved ones on the other side can help to alleviate this trauma.
Since my daughter left this life over five years ago, I have been able to clearly and distinctly see her at any given time, which has been extremely gratifying for me. I has assured me that that she is now in a much nicer, calmer existence.
Her lifetime in this world was at times trying and extremely painful. Part of that was to repay her karmic debt, and the remainder was her individual spiritual journey which had to play itself out.
What I also enjoy is being able to experience with my own eyes how her new life is now so entirely different from the one we shared during her brief stay here. While in this life, she was not such a domesticated character, for example. Obviously she cooked and cleaned to take care of herself and her family, but she never would have been considered a ‘homemaker’ or a ‘kitchen aficionado.’ Quite the contrary to being a ‘domestic goddess,’ her heart was always much more geared towards the creative, artistic, free-spirited side of life.
She painted and sculpted, and wore outlandish clothes with the most confident panache. Her taste in her own personal wardrobe was unusual to say the least, and her home and yard were always decorated with complete abandon and eccentricity. She also was in such total compliance with nature, it was a joy to be able to experience that interaction with her.
The Blue Jay – A Sign From Spirit
I grew up Christian. My mother was devout and my father followed, yet was not as much of a believer. I remain very spiritual in my adult years, but although I still hold my belief in God and spirit, I no longer follow any particular religion. I also have no doubt there is an afterlife and that our spirit lives on. One of the most significant moments of faith and joy on my spiritual journey happened when my father was sick and dying.
He was a magnificent man and I loved him dearly. He was my rock, the anchor in my family. He truly was that one person in this world who was always there for all of us. When he was losing his health battle, I tried to speak to him about faith, as I could tell he was afraid of dying. It was so sad for me to see him with so much fear, as he used to always be such a fearless man. Until now.
He told me he did not know for sure where he would go or what would happen to him, once he passed. He had tears in his eyes. He said, “I believe there is something after this life, but I am not sure about Heaven, or what it will be.” I could tell he was actually very afraid, and it broke my heart. I tried to reassure him. “Dad, I have every faith that you will live on in spirit,” I said.
He was a patient in palliative care, with about a month left to live according to the doctors. He was struggling emotionally. It wrecked my heart every day to witness his fear and uncertainty. He had also been very worried about those he was leaving behind.
Eventually, we reached the time where he was losing consciousness. He was drifting in and out, but while he could not do more than utter a sound or squeeze my hand, I knew he could hear me, as he would continue to respond.
The Sweet Dreams Of Spirit Visitation
Dreaming is one of the best ways for spirit to relay messages to you. When awake we mostly receive information from our senses, but when we are in the dream state, messages from beyond can reach us more easily.
While resting our conscious mind, our subconscious doesn’t need to battle for our attention, so dreams can play out like a movie in our mind and relay spiritual messages in the form of symbols, abstract story lines, or my favorite: past loved ones coming for a visit.
When in dream mode, our right-brain emotion is not challenged by our left-brain logic, making it easy for our subconscious to connect with spirit. In this altered state of consciousness our departed loved ones find it more easy to visit us.
So, how do you know you are just dreaming of a departed loved one, or experiencing an actual spirit visitation? A spirit visit is different from a dream for many reasons. Dreams will be prevalent when you first wake up, but will quickly fade from your memory.
A visitation is an actual visit from spirit. It may feel like a dream, but you will remember it more vividly and you will be able to play it back detail by detail, word for word, and clearly remember and relive the emotions you experienced during the visitation.
After my mother passed, she came to visit me a few months later in a lucid dream. I can still see the pantsuit she was wearing, her hairstyle, how young she looked, and the strong presence of her energy. In the dream she simply walked past me, went outside towards the pecan tree in the backyard, and then faded into the light. No words were spoken, but her brief presence was very comforting. I woke up crying, sobbing with mixed emotions of missing her and the joy being with her for that short moment in time.
Looking Within – A Message From My Guides
As the holiday season starts to ramp up around the world, everything becomes more and more hectic. Travel plans are made early. Gifts are purchased. Party invitations are extended. New outfits are bought. Menus are set. Baking is done. It is a wondrous time of year, to give thanks and to show appreciation to family, friends, neighbors and colleagues.
Under these circumstances, it is understandable that stress abounds too. For some people, in addition to all the excitement, there is a real feeling of obligation. The expectations of others can be overwhelming and, of course, it is impossible to please everyone. There is also the feeling that time is running too short to accomplish everything on the to-do list. Demands on your time can seem endless and unreasonable.
For others, the holiday season can be a very quiet and somewhat lonely time. Old memories can be triggered. Losses can become more heightened and a sense of sadness can prevail. In the Northern Hemisphere, the days get shorter and sometimes much colder, so sunlight isn’t as prevalent to perk you up and lighten your spirit.
Whether you are run off your feet or living a more solitary lifestyle, we recommend that you make some time to look within. A daily meditation habit can do wonders to give you a sense of peace, calm and gratitude. A quiet mind at the start of your day can prepare you for the remainder of each day as it unfolds. A peaceful feeling can help you to put things into perspective so as not to worry, overreact or panic unnecessarily.
Everyone has a ‘little narrator’ inside their head who is constantly chatting up a storm. If this little chatterbox was a real person sitting with you in your living room or in the car, you would eventually ask him or her to stop talking for a while so that you could think, read, watch TV, listen to music, converse, drive, and so on. However, because everyone has grown quite accustomed to this little tag-along giving constant commentary throughout the day, you carry on in spite of the continual interruptions.
The Power Of Prayer
Many people only turn to prayer in times of extreme trouble or fear. I was brought up, however, in a home where one also said grace at mealtime, to give thanks for the food on the table. It is always a good idea to have gratitude for the food that nourishes our body. Prayers were also said before going to bed for the night, asking for good things for our family, as well as our friends, pets and life in general.
It’s my own belief that we come into this world with the knowledge of prayer. It is as natural as breathing, and just as important for our spirit. Prayers do not have to be said out loud to be heard by the Infinite Intelligence, or the energy known as God. The spirit world does not have rules or limitations. There is no time or place as in the material world.
After all, we are body, mind, and spirit. We are spirit residing in a physical body for a while, before we return to the spirit realm. Prayer is one of the ways to get in touch with the Other Side, the place that some call Heaven, our spirit home. Prayer can be a great comfort to those who believe in the hereafter, angels, saints and a God energy. If you are feeling alone in the world, prayer can make you feel a connection with your ancestors that have crossed over before you.
Ignoring The Signs In Matters Of The Heart
Many years ago, while consoling my best friend after a major breakup, it came to me that she was doing everything possible to continue holding on to what Spirit was removing from her life.
Sitting next to her, as she held on to her laptop hoping to find her lover’s name amidst emails, was like witnessing a tragedy. It was a heartbreak that most of us will experience at some point in our lives, either directly or indirectly.
After a year-long courtship, the ‘man of her dreams’ suddenly began to distance himself without any explanation. The calls became less, the frequent text messages disappeared, and there were no longer any plans on the calendar for their usual weekend outings.
I offered my friend a shoulder to cry on, and searched my mind for the appropriate, most comforting words to speak, but I could feel her gradually pulling away. All that mattered to her at that moment was establishing a deeper connection with her missing-in-action lover.
My friend resisted my recommendation to slow down, to find her center, and most of all… to let go. Instead, she suddenly bolted from her chair, threw on her coat and scarf, and fled the scene.
Several hours later, I received a frantic call from her. While parked outside of her boyfriend’s apartment, she saw him leave with his arm around another woman. Apparently, it was very clear from their mutual displays of affection, that he was in love with someone else.
Months went by, with my friend still holding on to the false hope that her love would someday return. Meanwhile, several very nice men attempted to get her attention, but she turned down each and every one. She even received a lucrative job offer, that came with a coveted geographical relocation, but she refused it. She turned her back on this amazing opportunity for fear of moving too far away from her ex.