self-delusion
Authentic Feelings Are Not Always ‘Sunshine And Rainbows’
What a comfortable, easy life this would be if everyone could just feel like ‘sunshine and rainbows’ all the time. The truth is that the many of the most worthwhile things in life do not come from ‘easy’ and ‘comfortable.’ And when we suppress our true feelings, it is ultimately detrimental to our health body, mind, and spirit.
Revealing our true feelings does not come easily for many of us. I am not trying to make up an excuse, but I just was not brought up that way. My parents’ generation were masters of the art of concealing their true feelings, good or bad. When I am doing a mediumship reading, and a departed parent or grandparent shows up, they often say things like, “I wish I told you more often how much I love you.”
I could count on one hand the moments in my childhood that I can remember my parents showing affection for each other in front of us children. Those of us who had been brought up in such a stoic family environment, tend to struggle when are encouraged to express our deepest emotions. As an adult, I do however see the bigger picture today. And I do feel it is necessary to express one’s feelings in a considerate and healthy way.
In my family my parents also never argued in front of us kids. My dad just gave my mom the silent treatment. We grew up thinking he was just be the ‘strong silent type.’ Consequently, I felt that this was what communication in a marriage should be like.
Of course, reality hit me badly with my first marriage, when my ex-husband and I had our first serious argument! I thought it meant the marriage was now over, because I had no coping skills or frame of reference for this kind of authentic self-expression in a relationship. I also had no clue how to have a good, healthy argument.
The Divine Mysteries Of Competence And Confidence
How do we hone a certain ability enough to be competent and confident with the knowledge gained, developed and demonstrated, without having to continually prove our ‘worth and merit’? And, should we feel the need to prove our expertise in any area of life, are we not placed in a defensive position, whereby the competence is then easily questioned and the confidence doubted?
Some may argue that confidence is an inborn trait and can not necessarily be developed by perfecting a certain craft, skill, talent or gift. But, those who takes this position often have not done their own homework in establishing, cultivating and maintaining their own expanded potential.
Competence comes through repetitious practice, until the act is perfected. Then, confidence rides piggy back on this polished competence. We no longer need to think about what is being achieved. Yes, too much thinking interferes with our competence, and therefore inhibits confidence.
In order to learn to ride a bicycle with ease, one must practice. You must also fall a few times, and learn to work with the Law of Gravity, until balance is more consistently maintained. But, even then, the magical fun of riding a bike instinctively happens of its own accord, without the rational interference or assistance of the rider. Once accomplished, no one can unlearn it.
Learning to play the guitar is achieved the same way. And one will have to practice a lot, sometimes with calloused, bruised fingers, for many tedious, seemingly ‘non-productive’ hours, to become even a mediocre musician. Ask any accomplished musician. Continue reading
Living Ecstatic Bliss By Remaining Open To Life!
Nothing is for certain. We are not locked in. Everything is at our disposal. We are as free as the wind. Responsibility remains with ourselves, while duty and obligation have no place in our lives, when subjected onto us by someone else. It’s an inside job. The greatest disservice and most fierce act of unkindness we will ever do to another is when we negate, abate and sublimate our ‘natural and convenient’ innate desires.
Unless we are authentic and the real deal, we do not, have not, and will not show up for our lives, relationships and work. We are merely playing ridiculous games of pretense. Regrettably and stupidly, not the first one of them fulfills, sustains or registers. It’s simply a dreary monotonous merry-go-round.
The long and short of it is this: it matters what we do – but only to us! If we are doing anything for anyone at anytime, for any other reason than for the gut-driven, instinctive passion that drives us to express our deeply embedded sublime, sensual, sacred, sexual, artistic natures, we are nothing but disposable phonies. We are merely walking around, in a desperately empty, apathetically numbed, half-awake daze… haphazardly avoiding the next car that may plow right into us. The one and only problem with that unlived scenario: we won’t even know what hit us. Our short time here on Earth would have been null, void and without meaning.
What meaning, you may ask? You might not see any meaning, but you know you are here for some reason or purpose, you just don’t know what that is. Of course, you don’t, because you have not showed up for your life, yet. You walk around with either a chip (boulder) on your shoulder, because your life hasn’t’ worked out as you planned. Or maybe you are displaying an exalted sense of elevated importance, thinking you deserve more than you have.
Facing Yourself As The Other In Your Relationship
Relationships are funny things. They are by their very nature designed to elicit the best and worst from the individuals involved in them.
Although it may appear in a relationship as if you are involved with another distinct person, you are, in fact involved with an underlying, obscured part of yourself, which needs identifying and relating to. With appropriate understanding and recognition, you can see your way clear to an insightful experience.
Once having subjected yourself to the nebulous involvement, you will no longer need to refer to your actions with dread of ‘doing the wrong thing,’ or suffering unnecessary hurt. You will comprehend that it is impossible to avoid anything and there is no guarantee associated with the leap into the depths of your own foreboding abyss.
The fact of the matter is that you will emerge unscathed and filled with unmistakable self-knowledge and power attached to the plummeting into the relational depths of tense despair. By facing both the dark side and light side of your vehemently nervous, fretful mind, you will be freed from the bonds of panic and contentious worry that forever plague you.
Your undisclosed, insecure personality, as revealed in the other person, is laden with criticism, negativity and lack of confidence, based upon the premise of unawareness. The guilt, anxiety, and duty you have attached to personal responsibility in the outcome of the relationship is nothing short of nauseating. You are not that important in the material scope of things.
Are We There Yet?
Are we there yet? It’s okay to ask. The answer, however, should always be no. If we become preoccupied with destination, we lose sight of the joy and purpose of the journey in the first place. When we honor the journey, we are able to keep on the path of forward motion.
Life itself is the journey. We learn the hard lessons, and finally understand that it’s a never-ending process. Often things occur in the guise of mistakes, failures, misunderstandings, hurts. But in truth, not learning from these events is the only failure. And if you don’t learn it the first time, it is highly likely the lesson will repeat itself, over and over again, until you actually do learn it.
When our behavior and actions change, we convert what we have learned into wisdom. For some people the process is a lifelong quest, while others utilize what they have learned and it moves them along quickly. Some people need to go deeper within themselves to make progress.
It is always good to ask if we are there yet. Especially at the beginning of every journey, or when the learned lessons tell us there is more work to be done – inner work to get to the very core of our being. For some people inner work can be very frightening, as many of us deeply suppress the things that we don’t want to deal with. But to complete the journey we must peel away the layers, like peeling an onion.
Psychic Readings Are Not A Magic Wand!
My main responsibility as a psychic empath is to help my clients identify an overcome obstacles and energy blockages in their lives, and make empowering choices and decisions to manifest the abundant life of joy, success, happiness and fulfillment they truly deserve. This, however, does not mean that I am able to wave some sort of magic wand to fix their life.
Every psychic has their unique way to connect with the unseen realm, and perceive the energies of the past, present and future. In my experience, the best psychic readers are also people who have suffered much personal adversity, and faced many challenges in their own lives. We also tend to be keen, lifelong students, constantly diving into deeper knowledge of all the many mysteries of metaphysics and spiritual life design, to better support the dreams of others, and help them reach their goals.
Being a professional psychic brings a lot of responsibility with it. We have to make sure that you understand the messages and gain clarity on pursuing your goals. Sadly, some clients have unrealistic expectations, expecting us to wave a magic wand during a psychic reading to instantly fix their lives and relationships.
For example, I just had a call from a new client who refused to speak to me. She was also determined not to ask me any questions. “I can give you the name,” is all she said. I had no idea what to focus on first, or where to begin. “Do you have a question about this person,” I asked. Silence on the other end. I had only a few brief minutes to transform her life, and it was going to have to happen without her saying a word about it!
The Truth About Long-Lasting Relationships
The fact that we struggle to navigate our romantic relationships remains a topic of never-ending debate. Many of us are involved, entangled, enmeshed in some type of complicated, and sometimes confusing, relationship. Whether these relationships are satisfying or not, our mental, physical, emotional state is usually somewhat determined, or at least influenced by the nature and health of these precarious unions.
Many of us involved in some form of romantic relationship, often feel the constant tug and pull of its nebulous contradictions and challenges. Though the words are not always verbally expressed, the ensuing tension often results from a lack of intimacy that can only be created through authenticity and open communication.
Most people, however, interpret sexual closeness as the culminating epitome of true intimacy. But unless one is also able to openly communicate and authentically connect on other levels, even the most dazzling sex life will fizzle out eventually – and often sooner than later.
Sex alone never sustains a meaningful, long-lasting relationship! No matter how exciting or mutually satisfying it may be. Using sex as a clear, reinforcing sign that a relationship is going to endure, is never a reliable barometer.