News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

self-delusion

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Addicted To ‘Getting It’

Get a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comOne way to improve yourself, or change your life, is to gain understanding either through a teacher, a therapist, a nutritionist, a personal trainer, further study or research, and so on. One can then use your newly acquired understanding to implement change, which will also change your energy, because you implemented change you understood.

However, many people gain new understanding, but remain stuck in their inaction, their fear of taking action, of making different choices. Think about how many people you know who understand or ‘know’ how to eat healthily, how to exercise correctly, or to not jump into bed with just anyone. Then think about how many of those people put their understanding into actual action in their lives. You see my point?

Some also use understanding to get stuck. Everything has a double edge, light and dark, Yin and Yang. The art of living is a moving form of balance. Some people demand of themselves, others, even of Spirit, to be ‘given’ understanding, before they will take action (instead of working to gain that understanding for themselves). As if being ‘given understanding’ will somehow be a kind of protection, or guarantee of success.

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‘Handling’ People

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comWhen people ‘handle’ me, it makes my skin crawl, literally. Why do people feel the need to ‘handle’ others? What is the difference between say being diplomatic with someone, being professional, or having boundaries, all of which are healthy behaviors, compared to ‘handling’ someone? The simple answer is energy.

Handling someone means you are a closed book, you have an agenda with a person and you want to accomplish that agenda, whether it is to get something from the person or to make that person go away (without you simply setting a boundary or being honest).

People who ‘handle’ others often do not know that is what they are doing; it is their unconscious ‘go-to’ behavior, their norm. Some ways of discovering if you are handling versus relating to someone, is to look at your other choices.

You may not realize that addicts always need handling. So, if you are an addict (of any kind — drugs, alcohol, sugar, sex, anything you feel compelled to do in excess), or if you tend to date, marry or make friends with addicts of any sort, you are more than likely someone who ‘handles’ others, as well as yourself. A handler type person will choose addicts often without realizing or admitting to themselves that they are an addict, because addicts do in fact need to be ‘handled’ until they come out of denial and start to participate in their recovery.

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Victims And True Feelings

click here for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comWhat is the difference between being a victim and feeling like a victim? Well, the first is identifying as a victim and making decisions from that base as a way of life. The other is going into the wounds of whatever happened to them, where they were a victim, and feeling those feelings, exploring them, processing them and allowing them to be released, as a part of the journey of healing.

Healing is waking up, coming out of denial. You finally admit you were hurt, abused, abandoned, raped, lied to, robbed, beaten up and that yes, it hurt. Yes, there was terrible fear and a loss of self, a loss of faith, depression, anxiety, and so much more. This stage is shocking, and it hurts. Your ego is demolished as you finally cave into the realizations and emotions that emerge as you face the truth about what happened to you, instead of minimizing it, explaining it away, or muscling through it.

Grieving, Raging And Learning

You will inevitably need to move through the grief cycle in order to find hope and healing. This process can take two years and longer. Many people will not understand that you are grieving, since you haven’t lost anyone to death. This process is not linear. It twists and turns through loops that overlap, moves forward, and then falls back again. Continue reading

Crow Medicine

click here for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comCrows often appear to me when I am about to make a significant change in my life. I recently moved to a nicer place, and a group of crows appeared outside my new home, signifying this was not the only change to come.

Crows also represents being adaptable, malleable and, of course, flexible. We are generally resistant to change, but change is the only constant in this life. When seeing crow in your personal surroundings, know it is time to change your thinking and perception about your current life circumstances. Sometimes we cannot see the forest beyond the trees.

Crow medicine teaches us to focus on the ‘bigger picture.’ Look at the whole story, instead of the worrying so much about the details.  Leave the details to the Universe. It usually does turn out better than we had imagined!

Birds also act as messengers from Heaven. A bird showing up unexpectedly in your life is perhaps a loved who has crossed over and is wanting your attention. I remember one time it was my great grandmother whom I inherited my psychic, mediumship and healing abilities from.

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Using Labels To Avoid Doing The Work

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAcccess.comI’m an introvert. I’m dysfunctional. I am an empath.

It is good to know about yourself. However a retreat into generalized labels will be an obstacle to further work. Generalizations are just that, generalizations. Generalizations are good for a quick conversation, but not for depth.

Now that you have learned something about yourself and have a label, you have some vocabulary to do more research on tools for healing. Now that you know your fallback position (I run away, I don’t set boundaries) you can start to learn about other tools, other choices.

In order to apply new choices, in order to catch your dysfunctional patterns you will need to be mindful. Mindfulness entails being specific, very specific, regarding each incident, each choice. Just like taking a daily inventory. Specificity and detail are needed to observe your current choices, to learn what Spirit is trying to teach you, and also for you to be able to note and celebrate progress made. Just like going on a diet, you need to be real, specific, use facts, use accurate information (as much as possible) via daily tracking and detailed recall.

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Why Empaths Fall Victim To Narcissists

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comWhy are narcissists and empaths often drawn to one another? This is a phenomena many of us empaths fall victim to. Which, at first, may seem odd, since empaths and narcissists are polar opposites! But, maybe that is the key? Opposites attract.

But, what’s more profound, is that the narcissist preys upon the empath’s dedication to healing those who are emotionally wounded or scarred. By nature empaths are deeply caring, compassionate people. The empath’s purpose in life is to support healing in others, yet due to their intense sensitivity, empaths often struggle to create healthy boundaries for themselves, giving in to martyrdom, victimhood, co-dependency, and chronic self-sacrifice.

An empath will do anything in their power to help or heal another. And, will not easily give up or walk away. This makes them prime targets for the narcissist.

There are different types of narcissists. But, for this article, I will discuss the most common. And, that is the Amorous Narcissist. They tend to measure their self-worth and grandiosity by how many sexual conquests they have conquered. This type of person is known for using their charm to ensnare others with attention, flattery and gifts. But, they dispose of their target once they become bored or when their needs have been served. The target typically won’t so much as get an explanation, much less a goodbye.

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The Wisdom Of Forgiveness With Healthy Boundaries

click here for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comWe all have experienced the unease of feeling unable to forgive someone who has wronged us in some way. Sometimes it is really hard to let go of the way someone has gossiped about us, for example. It is difficult to understand why some people have the need to act the way they do, especially when these people are directly or indirectly related to us. Some families just split up and have nothing more to do with each other, because of this lack of forgiveness.

I was meditating on this one night before bed, and asked the Great Spirit to give me deeper insight and understanding on forgiveness. I had consciously made the healing decision for myself, that I will no longer share and keep space open for those who continue to do the same things to me, over and over, because it is unhealthy for me. But, I still felt the need to forgive. And I needed insight on how to do this.

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