self-delusion
Aligning Yourself To Attract Lasting Love
When I do readings, many people usually want to talk about their love life. This is a valid and meaningful subject for all of us. Having a meaningful, harmonious and loving relationship is a wonderful part of the human experience. However, it is also true that a relationship often does not solve many of the problems and issues we have as a single person.
It is important to understand that we carry our consciousness with us everywhere we go. If you assume that you will find a relationship that will ‘make you happy,’ then you are deeply mistaken.
Yes, we may draw temporary relational circumstances that allow us to feel a little better about ourselves, but without a firm structure of personal happiness, we will eventually engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that cause the relationship to become unsustainable.
Again, we will carry our consciousness with us everywhere that we go. If we are discontent being single, we will find a way to be discontent in the relationship also.
Every relationship is the product of co-creation. Too often when a relationship does not work out, it is easy to point to the other person and say, “You did this to me.” And it makes sense, because if the original assumption is that the other person will ‘make us happy,’ then we will also make the automatic assumption that the other person can ‘make us miserable.’
Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”
Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.
Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.
If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate. The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.
Making The Most Of Pisces Season
Today we are entering Pisces season. The Sun moves into the zodiac sign of Pisces every year from February 18th through March 20th, and activates our compassion, intuition and imagination. This is a cycle where we are able to get in touch with our deeper emotions and heal any issues that might be weighing us down.
Pisces is a mutable, water sign, which allows us to be more flexible and go with the flow of the Universe. Now is not the best time for planning and taking action, but great for reflection, journaling, artistic expression and dreaming.
Technically, Pisces is the last sign of the zodiac and shows us the accumulation of what we have learned in the past year. It also helps us release in order to prepare for the next cycle in Aries.
The negative aspects of Pisces brings up addiction issues, escapism, delusions, being overly sensitive and falling into a victim mentality. It can seem like we are swimming in circles in this period, so acknowledging our direction and any imbalances are vital.
The Sun in Pisces is also a good time to get in touch with our bodies, and to detoxify with lots of water, fresh whole foods, and upgrading our self-care routine. If you are unsure of where to start with exercise, more gentle movement activities, like Tai Chi, Yoga, Pilates or swimming in a body of water, will help create re-connection. It is all about taking your time and accepting where you are in your life.
Take Back Your Power!
Everyone has a story to tell about their love life. And some of have extremely abusive stories to tell. One common element that I have come across frequently in my work, is the fact that some people are treated with disrespect and emotional abuse, and yet they are still patiently waiting for the abuser to return to them!
When you ask them why, it is usually because they “still love” that person. Well, that is not love. It is simply an imagined need that has been created by the abuser, or by one’s lack of self-worth. It is a psychological illusion, not real.
If you are still waiting for someone to come back into your life, after they left you for someone else, you are making yourself the second choice. You are degrading your own true value and taking away from your self-worth.
During a workshop I presented on this subject, I asked the participants to write down why they felt they needed that other person in their life. In essence, all their responses ended up being about lack of self-esteem, self-respect and self-security.
The next step was to ask them how they would you feel if they saw someone treating their daughter, or son, in the same way they have been allowing the abusive partner to treat them? They all said they wouldn’t tolerate it. They would intervene and get that person out of their lives, or at least try. One of the delegates even went as far as to say, “I would lock her in the house and never let her out again.” Which might be a great idea under the circumstances, but obviously not realistic!
Dark Entities And Spirit Attachment
Some people love to obsess over dark entities, or blame negative spirit attachments for all their problems. Spirit entities are so much more fascinating, or easier to blame, than looking at one’s personal responsibility in the matter.
Yes, dark spirit entities are real, and there are many different kinds. And yes, they can cause real problems in our lives, but I am more interested in how and why people pick up these entities. Learning about this can help one detect and prevent entity attachment on yourself.
Detecting and removing entities on others, while an exciting and often dramatic metaphysical practice, is typically not very beneficial in the long run, if the reason why the entities were able to attach in the first place is not also addressed.
This is a bit like mainstream medicine, that often treats symptoms with drugs with dramatic short-term results, but that also tend to produce long-term side effects, as opposed to holistic or functional medicine that aims to rather treat the cause, instead of just suppressing symptoms.
If you work on the cause, when dealing with unwanted spirit attachment, almost all entities begin to find the attachment unpleasant or repulsive, and soon leave on their own accord. It basically constitutes changing the energy environment, so that these spiritual parasites no longer consider your energy field a delicious ‘petri dish’ to ‘feed’ on.
Into The Primal Depths
We, as human beings, are voraciously indulgent pleasure seeking creatures! We are instinctively driven by deeply embedded, erotic, sensual needs that constantly demand our attention. By neglecting or denying the ‘sense of urgency’ of these needs, a physical and mental ‘mortal combat’ ensues.
We are stimulated by the thrilling edge of unknown horizons in forbidden sensuality. Ah! How we yearn for the ecstatic privilege to contact or engage the gregarious primal roar, and then, release its euphoric, orgasmic sigh of creation.
It is in those times alone, that we are reconciled with the ramified, non-negotiable urge to devote all we have, are and ever will be to that which cannot be expressed or even uttered in human words. During that inexpressible eternal moment, pain and pleasure are suspended forevermore.
How often are we aware enough to recognize and incorporate the electricity of immediate wonder into our lives in the instant it occurs? On the other hand, can we ever be cognizant enough to embrace the disguised blessings hidden deeply within pain?
Our motives are never pure! If, at any minute we deceive ourselves into believing they are, we suffer immeasurably through undisclosed discontent and unparalleled dissatisfaction. From that point on, we begin to build walls around us for protection. We misinterpret our own self-inflicted paranoia as a mal-aligned intent coming from another.
We judge, criticize and condemn the smallest matters. We’re continuously on edge, refusing to see how insidious our demands are. The malicious face of pretense will catch us when we are the least bit aware. Most especially, when we honestly believe we are the ones without guile.
Accountability Is Healing, Not Shaming
I could have never come this far in life all by myself, even with the help of Spirit. I needed, and still need, other skilled humans with a spiritual practice and evidence of their own balanced life, to help me see myself and my life in a way my wounded mind and psyche could have never comprehended on its own. Those mentors also gave me tools I didn’t even know existed, or if I did, I couldn’t put them to good use without their help. My spiritual teacher saved my life, more than once.
Yes, for our own sake we all need to be willing and able to receive assistance, instruction and guidance. When you are wounded, and especially when you are so wounded you don’t yet even know how wounded your are, because you have never examined your life and all you know are your wounds, Spirit can open a door for you. However you need to have the courage to step into the discomfort and do the work. And Spirit sends us humans to help us with this healing process.
Whenever we are introduced to new ideas, or encouraged to experience new feelings, it sometimes feels ‘abusive’ or ‘intrusive’ simply because we are often terrified of the unknown. This is true for most people. One may also feel distressed when a skilled therapist or spiritual teacher is, with your permission, showing you how to break down that ‘titanium wall’ you built to protect yourself from unhealed internal wounds.
It may also feel unsettling, when you allow yourself to be more open and vulnerable with a skilled teacher or healer, because in the past vulnerability led to pain. So, now you have control issues that you think are keeping you safe from harm, but are in fact only strangling you.