self-delusion
Still Hanging On To The Wrong Person?
Are you still hanging on to the wrong person? I know you adore him. I know you love her. I understand that you believe you are soulmates and ‘meant to be.’
But be aware that your beloved has free will. If they are not exactly alignment with you, no matter how you strongly feel about them, nothing will come of your ‘situationship.’ They are on their own journey and you cannot will someone to be your lover or life partner. It is nothing more than the beginning of a colossal heartbreak.
I have witnessed many love-struck people hang on for years to someone that has either left them for good, or kept stringing them along. Some of them have even married and had children with someone else, and yet, they still hang on. They often fervently believe their love interest will someday return to them and then they will live happily ever after. Well, the truth of the matter is that they will not. The other person has made their choice and walked away for a reason.
This new year, with all that has been going on in the world, it may be time to take a few deep breaths and have a self-reflective moment. Take a good, hard look at your life choices and your relationships.
If you are making unwise, self-sabotaging choices, consider what it may be that is not feeding your soul? What is it that is really missing in your life? Maybe it is time to release what no longer serves you. Simply let it go. Find your inner peace, and just be happy and content with yourself and who you truly are.
As a psychic advisor, I encounter the good, the bad and the ugly. I have seen much trauma and damage done, sometimes almost irreparable, to people in toxic relationships and love obsessions. Marriages of several years simply falling apart or ‘trusted’ partner walking out with zero notice. I have watched many go through failed relationship after failed relationship, always with the same results. The result is always the same: excruciating heartbreak.
When the victims of these bad relationship choices are encouraged to do some soul-searching, to see what it is inside of them that is compelling them to go back to the same type of person, time and time again, they are offended and become angry.
Getting More Out Of Life With Your Psychic Reading
Working as a psychic reader for so many years, I have learned a lot about the human condition. I have learned, for example, that all of us essentially want the same things in life. We all want to be loved and accepted, appreciated for our talents and gifts, and we all need a sense of belonging, and to feel secure, safe, and happy.
These are fundamental needs and a natural part of being human. How we satisfy these basic needs, and how we decide what brings us happiness, is where we differ as individuals. It matters not how our preferences differ, but instead that we can find ways to fulfill these needs, while maintaining our soul growth and purpose.
One person may be happy in the type of relationship that affords her the independence to travel with her girlfriends and to have time and space for herself, her hobbies and interests, and her spiritual practice. Another may prefer a partner to spend most of his free time with her, shares the same interests, and showers her with constant attention and gifts.
Over the years, I have witnessed how certain clients more easily achieve the type of relationship they want, while others struggle with one unhealthy relationship after the other. The same goes for career opportunities, business ventures, and finances too.
We all have areas in life where we need to open up, expand our awareness, and grow as a soul. I’ve found that my job as a psychic reader is not only to tell my client all I see around them, but to also help them grow spiritually. My job is to help my clients achieve their personal and spiritual goals in all aspects of their life.
This becomes challenging when someone tells me they do not care about their personal and spiritual growth, or how they can achieve more of what they want. Instead, they only want what they want right now, and are unwilling to look at the bigger picture of what can be done to increase the likelihood of reaching their goal. This is often the reason why some become stuck in dead-end, toxic relationships, for example.
Embracing The Mirages Of Life
Imagine yourself walking through a hot desert, whipped by the relentless winds, and scorched by what feels like an unforgiving sun. Suddenly, a crystal-clear spring emerges in the distance. But the closer you come to this beautiful fountain, the more you realize that its calm waters are evaporating into thin air.
Taken aback, you face the reality that what you envisioned was never real or true. It was nothing more than a mere mirage. This optical illusion created by warm air near the ground refracting the light from the sky has deceived weary travelers for thousands of years. Ancient poets even wrote verses that spoke of the delights and dangers of the mirage. Sacred texts reveal the mirage that gave hungry and thirsty pilgrims hope during long migrations or exodus.
As a spiritualist, I often receive calls from clients who have also been misled by mirages, only these mirages are not of the biblical deserts that prophets of old journeyed across. These are instead the ‘mirages of life.’ I often hear clients lament how everything appeared to line up so perfectly, but the outcome was an unexpected disappointment. My answer is always the same. There are times in life when on the surface everything seems to be falling into place, yet the desired outcome does not complete the story we had hoped to write.
I some cases, the seemingly ‘perfect partner’ stuck around for years without any proposal for marriage. In other instances, there was an awesome interview for the dream job that ultimately was offered to someone else. I could share countless examples of how expected outcomes are sometimes derailed in our world.
We have all encountered mirages in our life, as well as the disappointment and heartbreak that follow. But if you really take a step back and reflect on your past disappointments, you will soon note that Spirit always had a much better plan with your name on it. The love you thought you lost is often replaced with a better love you never imagined possible. The position you wanted more than anything was more appropriately aligned with someone else, and instead of misplacing your gifts and talents, the new job you ultimately found was much more fulfilling than you ever thought possible.
Accept The Past In Order To Move Forward
Accepting the past, and letting it go, is often one of the most challenging issues that come up in the readings I do for clients. When things are not always going as they expect it to go in their lives, it is usually because the client is still stuck in the past, and unable to move forward.
The human body was made to walk forward, just like trains, boats and planes are designed to propel themselves forward. The human mind and spirit is designed to do the same. We are meant to move forward, learning, growing, expanding and evolving into the future.
The human body has eyes in the front of the skull, not in the back. We are meant to look forward, not backwards. The human body can walk backwards, if it absolutely has to, but it’s designed to be bi-regular in a forward direction.
But, if you are holding on to the past, or not willing to see it as being in the past, your subconscious mind and your soul remains in limbo. The greatest thing about the past is that we can learn from it, and observe what and how it affects us in the now. We also have the unique opportunity to change our outlook or approach to the present, based on the lessons of the past.
The greatest gift the human mind has is the ability to shift our perceptions, learn from our life experiences, and expand our horizons. We are able to examine how every past experience or circumstance affects our journey in the present, and we can also choose how we will perceive and acknowledge it as we move forward on our path.
Embrace Change In Your Life
As a professional psychic advisor, one encounters a wide variety of people in various stages of life transition and change. And some deal better with these changes, than others.
Some people, for example, refuse to accept that nothing ever stays the same. People evolve. Spouses fall out of love. Children grow up. Circumstances change. Life goes on. Constantly looking back on an unpleasant past, or desperately holding on to the past, is not the way to live one’s life in the now.
To make the most of life’s challenges and opportunities, we must deal with present realities. Clinging to the past, or obsessing over the future, only causes immense stress to everybody involved. If we go around in circles, repeating the past, we will also not be able to conquer the future.
Some people also tend to be easily disappointed when others do not always cater to their needs and wishes. Then there are those who insist on always being right, while doing a lot of wrong themselves. This kind of selfishness does not make things right either.
As a psychic reader, I can explain the actions and reactions of people in your life. I can also offer you different perspectives and guide you towards potential solutions in dealing with others, as well as changing situations. But, I cannot change people or circumstances for you. I can also not turn back time.
If you feel stuck and you are repeating cycles, I can help you to break the pattern and give you the insight of change. Embrace change. Don’t try to change others, or change the world. The only way this works is if you adapt yourself to the whatever changes may be happening in your life.
Authentic Feelings Are Not Always ‘Sunshine And Rainbows’
What a comfortable, easy life this would be if everyone could just feel like ‘sunshine and rainbows’ all the time. The truth is that the many of the most worthwhile things in life do not come from ‘easy’ and ‘comfortable.’ And when we suppress our true feelings, it is ultimately detrimental to our health body, mind, and spirit.
Revealing our true feelings does not come easily for many of us. I am not trying to make up an excuse, but I just was not brought up that way. My parents’ generation were masters of the art of concealing their true feelings, good or bad. When I am doing a mediumship reading, and a departed parent or grandparent shows up, they often say things like, “I wish I told you more often how much I love you.”
I could count on one hand the moments in my childhood that I can remember my parents showing affection for each other in front of us children. Those of us who had been brought up in such a stoic family environment, tend to struggle when are encouraged to express our deepest emotions. As an adult, I do however see the bigger picture today. And I do feel it is necessary to express one’s feelings in a considerate and healthy way.
In my family my parents also never argued in front of us kids. My dad just gave my mom the silent treatment. We grew up thinking he was just be the ‘strong silent type.’ Consequently, I felt that this was what communication in a marriage should be like.
Of course, reality hit me badly with my first marriage, when my ex-husband and I had our first serious argument! I thought it meant the marriage was now over, because I had no coping skills or frame of reference for this kind of authentic self-expression in a relationship. I also had no clue how to have a good, healthy argument.
Are We There Yet?
Are we there yet? It’s okay to ask. The answer, however, should always be no. If we become preoccupied with destination, we lose sight of the joy and purpose of the journey in the first place. When we honor the journey, we are able to keep on the path of forward motion.
Life itself is the journey. We learn the hard lessons, and finally understand that it’s a never-ending process. Often things occur in the guise of mistakes, failures, misunderstandings, hurts. But in truth, not learning from these events is the only failure. And if you don’t learn it the first time, it is highly likely the lesson will repeat itself, over and over again, until you actually do learn it.
When our behavior and actions change, we convert what we have learned into wisdom. For some people the process is a lifelong quest, while others utilize what they have learned and it moves them along quickly. Some people need to go deeper within themselves to make progress.
It is always good to ask if we are there yet. Especially at the beginning of every journey, or when the learned lessons tell us there is more work to be done – inner work to get to the very core of our being. For some people inner work can be very frightening, as many of us deeply suppress the things that we don’t want to deal with. But to complete the journey we must peel away the layers, like peeling an onion.