relatives
Unconditional Love Is Heaven On Earth
When I was a little girl, I remember going to my grandparents’ home during the summers. I couldn’t wait for the summer to arrive, to get to spend time with them. It was always magical. The months leading up to those wonderful stays were always filled with anticipation and excitement.
Always having something to look forward to adds to the enjoyment and contentment of life. Whether it’s an upcoming event or something we are looking forward to, such trying an adventurous activity, or reading that new book you’re excited to dive into. Books have always been for me a bit of a mental vacation, because you can relax, while going places to imaginative places in your mind.
I believe the magic and enjoyment of getting to spend time with my grandparents came from it being filled with love and attention. Thinking back now, they were the only adults, when I was younger, who gave me their full attention and truly unconditional love. They were never too busy to sit and talk with me, or share stories from their childhood, which I found very fascinating.
Not all Grandparents are alike though. Some can be all about gossip, judgment, neglect, even abuse, and not the best role models. I was lucky that on my mother’s side of the family this was not the case. My maternal grandparents had all the traits and attributes one would imagine a truly loving grandparent to have.
I have memories of being in tears when having to leave and go back home. There I just spent my days alone in my room, as my parents were often too busy with church and other social groups they were involved in. I suspect all that time I was forced to spend on my own, helped me to expand and open my mind, to tap into those deeper areas of the psyche that are often left dormant.
Inside And Outside – What Your Home Says About You
Can we define someone by looking beyond their personal space, such as how they tend to the exterior of their home and garden? Well, I fully believe this can be accomplished by eyeing a few simple details.
I recently had a visit from a lady that I have known for a very long time. She comes from a large family and has had some difficulties over the years with particular family members. Her younger sister has always been a source of contention with her. Recently, she felt it was time to sit down and have a serious chat with this sister, to see if they could come to terms with the rift between them.
After they had their talk, it seemed to her that all of the past differences had finally been resolved, and they now could proceed into the future with a more gentle and sincere approach towards one another. But soon she was shocked to find her sister pulling an unwarranted and mean-spirited stunt.
She was quite mystified after this spiteful event. It left her feeling hurt and confused. She then asked me if we could examine the situation, to see if we could find a just cause for the younger sister’s unacceptable behavior.
As it happened, I had recently paid a visit to the younger sister’s home. I had not been to see her for a very long time and held no preconceived ideas as to what condition she, or her home, would be in.
The younger sister has been married for a very long time, to a man who is not a bad guy by the world’s standards, but certainly can be defined as a ‘wet blanket.’ I know she had found it a bit trying at times to be in a relationship such as this one, but she did what a lot of people do under the circumstances – they pretend everything is okay in order to keep up appearances. This I could understand to some extent, although I could not conceive how difficult it would be to live under those circumstances for a very long time.
Dealing With A Narcissistic Partner
We all know at least one narcissist. It’s that toxic person in your life who seems charming and likable at first, but is actually extremely self-centered, has an inflated ego, shows no empathy or remorse, and can even become abusive. But what if that person is your partner, or someone you love?
Narcissists want to control. They want others to see them as important, superior and in charge. To a narcissist, someone who suffers from compromised self-esteem, is easy prey, which is why many people who have a narcissistic partner find it difficult to break it off.
Abuse is not always physical. It also takes the form of verbal insults, emotional manipulation or gaslighting, withholding affection, and unequal sharing of duties. All of these forms of abuse feed into a narcissist’s egotism. Narcissists typically try to rope their partners into joining into these negative, harmful relationship patterns.
So, what do you do when you find yourself attached to an abusive narcissist? At first, it’s easy to try and explain away their abusive behavior by citing times when they shows affection, brought gifts, or offered kindness and emotional support. They are good at pretending, but don’t be fooled.
Setting up healthy and definitive boundaries is the first and best defense. Know that you have the right to say no at any time! Falling for gaslighting, emotional manipulation and blackmail is an easy trap, and most narcissists are masters at these psychological games. If you’re unsure of yourself, role-play with a trusted friend or counselor, or read up on the subject. Like most difficult things in life, it takes practice.
The Power Of Prayer
Many people only turn to prayer in times of extreme trouble or fear. I was brought up, however, in a home where one also said grace at mealtime, to give thanks for the food on the table. It is always a good idea to have gratitude for the food that nourishes our body. Prayers were also said before going to bed for the night, asking for good things for our family, as well as our friends, pets and life in general.
It’s my own belief that we come into this world with the knowledge of prayer. It is as natural as breathing, and just as important for our spirit. Prayers do not have to be said out loud to be heard by the Infinite Intelligence, or the energy known as God. The spirit world does not have rules or limitations. There is no time or place as in the material world.
After all, we are body, mind, and spirit. We are spirit residing in a physical body for a while, before we return to the spirit realm. Prayer is one of the ways to get in touch with the Other Side, the place that some call Heaven, our spirit home. Prayer can be a great comfort to those who believe in the hereafter, angels, saints and a God energy. If you are feeling alone in the world, prayer can make you feel a connection with your ancestors that have crossed over before you.
Memorialize Loved Ones With A Remembrance Table
I have a remembrance table in my home where I display framed pictures of my grandparents, as well as some of the possessions they passed on to me. My eclectic collection also includes a few candles, angel figurines, some essential oils, Grandma’s favorite perfume, grandpa’s favorite cologne, as well as two trees on either side of the table, which I always decorate for the holidays.
My grandparents really enjoyed the holidays. They especially celebrated Halloween and Christmas, their two favorite holidays of the year. The other holidays were also a great time to be at their house, but Halloween and Christmas were always the best!
I believe having a remembrance table, or ancestor altar, really helps to connect us with our loved ones, after they’ve crossed over. I personally don’t worship my ancestors, but I do honor them. You don’t just have to make a remembrance table at a loved one’s funeral, or at weddings or family gatherings. You can make it a permanent part of your home decor, and have it there all year long.
I love the idea of the remembrance table because a funeral should not be the only time you celebrate the life of a deceased loved one. It’s a great way to honor them and the wonderful memories you have to create with them when they were alive.
I’ve put special photographs from different times in their life that were especially joyous and memorable. Family was everything to them, so many of the pictures also include other relatives, such as uncles and their other grandchildren.