negative energy
Dealing With A Narcissistic Partner
We all know at least one narcissist. It’s that toxic person in your life who seems charming and likable at first, but is actually extremely self-centered, has an inflated ego, shows no empathy or remorse, and can even become abusive. But what if that person is your partner, or someone you love?
Narcissists want to control. They want others to see them as important, superior and in charge. To a narcissist, someone who suffers from compromised self-esteem, is easy prey, which is why many people who have a narcissistic partner find it difficult to break it off.
Abuse is not always physical. It also takes the form of verbal insults, emotional manipulation or gaslighting, withholding affection, and unequal sharing of duties. All of these forms of abuse feed into a narcissist’s egotism. Narcissists typically try to rope their partners into joining into these negative, harmful relationship patterns.
So, what do you do when you find yourself attached to an abusive narcissist? At first, it’s easy to try and explain away their abusive behavior by citing times when they shows affection, brought gifts, or offered kindness and emotional support. They are good at pretending, but don’t be fooled.
Setting up healthy and definitive boundaries is the first and best defense. Know that you have the right to say no at any time! Falling for gaslighting, emotional manipulation and blackmail is an easy trap, and most narcissists are masters at these psychological games. If you’re unsure of yourself, role-play with a trusted friend or counselor, or read up on the subject. Like most difficult things in life, it takes practice.
The Life Lesson Of ‘Making Plans’
‘Making plans’ has been a life lesson for me. Whenever I make serious plans, they always tend to fall through. Something usually comes up, or it just doesn’t work out.
It has been at times almost comical. I even started telling people, whenever they invite me to attend an event, or go somewhere with them, or sign up for something important, that I plan on possibly doing this with them, but I am not going to say it is definite….because then it probably won’t work out.
In time I came to realize that the Universe was teaching me, over and over again, to not make any major plans. The lesson for me has been simply to never say yes to anything with absolute certainty. Why? Because nothing is ever guaranteed. Things change, things happen… and not only to us, but also to others. It is often a domino effect that can impact our plans in many ways. Today, tomorrow, nothing is ever guaranteed.
In the process I have also learned to curb my emotions. You may find this odd or strange, but it has been my truth for more than four decades. In my experience, whenever I get super excited about something, it either gets taken away from me, or something happens to changes it for the worse.
Spiritual Healing
Healing from a serious or chronic illness may happen under different circumstances, and it some cases it can appear fully spontaneous. Behind every healing option there is a complex process which we never fully understand.
Our mindset is however an important player in how things unfold. But it is more than just having a positive attitude—it has many facets. And since the term ‘mind’ is a more modern concept, I prefer to refer to ‘spirit,’ which encompasses the mind in all its complex depth, along with emotions and sensations.
Spiritual healing can be defined in many ways, through many traditions. It seems to me useful to talk about the effect on the person, and understand it from that point of view. An experience of any kind may be a spiritual healing process, whenever a breakthrough takes place, or a release of inner pain occurs to make room for acceptance.
This might not be a painless process, otherwise it would happen much more easily, but it is a necessary step, because it allows us to abandon a repeating loop focused on pain. As an example, I can think of someone in a dysfunctional marriage, into which much work has been invested, including some counseling or therapy, but the only thing still keeping it together is the desire to ‘not fail.’
The Halloween Ghost In The Art Gallery
A couple of decades ago, I was opening a new location in downtown Santa Fe for the owner of a chain of art galleries. As a gallery director by profession at the time, I was excited for this opportunity. Furthermore, it was an interesting location from a metaphysical perspective, due to its previous occupants. Once upon a time, it had been a part of the local bus station, and it was directly across a former burro alley from one of Santa Fe’s oldest hotels.
I noticed a subtle, yet potent energy in the gallery space from the beginning of the endeavor. Clearly, some spiritual entity was attempting to direct the gallery through me, and had other ideas about what kind of art should be displayed here! Of course, it did not match the kind of work the absentee owner had in mind. But I was being pushed psychically to consider more traditional pieces, as opposed to the contemporary focus that the living owner required.
An interesting event happened when I hired a contractor to build some art storage, which was also to serve as a divider between the showroom space of the gallery and the office area. Every time the contractor would work on the new art storage bins, there would be a kind of rustling noise after he left. It was unmistakable, yet every time I would try to locate the source of the noise it would stop, as if by magic.
The Shaman’s Recipe For Energy Cleansing
A shaman in Colorado once taught me a wonderful recipe for energy cleansing or ‘space clearing’ in your home. I have been using it for years and find it a really good alternative to traditional smudging with sage or other herbs.
It requires a few more ingredients than smudging, but it is certainly worth it!
Ingredients
- 2 lemons
- Kosher salt
- Paper cups (1 for each room)
- Water (tap is fine)
- Wind chimes, or singing bowl
- Picture of a deity or angel, or something that symbolizes love and light to you
- Camphor essential oil in a spray bottle
- Jasmine incense, and incense holder
- Lighter
- Sturdy trash bag
Method
Slice the lemons into wedges, and place one wedge into each paper cup filled halfway with water. Place some Kosher salt into each cup and place one cup on the floor of each room, or in a larger space place a cup every 10 feet or so apart on the floor.