worry
Work Through The Fear, Obligation And Guilt (FOG)
Reflecting on my life I have found how many of my early life experiences have subconsciously influenced me, mostly due to a lack of awareness that allowed fear, a sense of obligation and guilt to remain hidden.
These hidden influences mostly come from my formative years and became obstacles I had to repeatedly struggle with in my adult life with regards relationships, career, finances, family and community.
Once I discovered these non-empowering beliefs, it was time for me to get out of the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). In hindsight, several things I was unaware of in my family’s dynamics, were actually ‘seeds’ hidden beneath the surface that in time sprouted into personal challenges and self-sabotage.
Fear
Fear and insecurity are frequent visitors for many of us in all areas of life. I was constantly focused on the negative and worst-case scenarios. This is because our brain is wired this way for the purpose of survival. Much of it also depends on our upbringing. So, we must recognize this and catch ourselves early on, in order to shift our thoughts and emotions in a positive direction.
We must be cognitive of our behaviors and explore where in our life we have learned these negative, fear-based responses. Fear is a natural part of life, but can easily become a ‘whack-a-mole’ of frustration, anxiety, uncertainty and indecision, always showing up at the most inconvenient times.
A Silver Lining In Times Of Uncertainty
We grow in our spiritual awareness and insight in different ways. Some of us read spiritual material by great authors, for example, and learn from their wise teachings, while others meditate and go deep within for guidance, and so on. However, in my experience the most powerful catalyst for spiritual growth is a time of trauma or crisis.
With the Covid-19 pandemic currently raging around the world, many people have lost loved ones, income, savings, businesses and homes. These losses can be devastating, especially when children are involved. Many people are in grief, many are lonely and isolated. Normal life has been greatly curtailed for many, with no clear end in sight.
It has also been an extremely stressful, challenging time for our essential frontline workers and healthcare professionals. The novel coronavirus has affected everyone to some extent, and it is during such trying times that many of us turn to Spirit, or the God of our understanding, and ask: why?
In these times our faith in a higher power, in ourselves, and in our world at large, becomes even more pivotal to our mental health and personal well-being. Hope and faith give us the strength and courage to carry on another day, regardless of not being able to see the end result at the moment. When we dig deep, we can often find untapped spiritual and psychological reserves, that we were unaware we actually had.
Although living through a global pandemic is an experience our generation has not encountered before, many of us are rising to the occasion by helping others in person, online or by donation.
People are also transforming from within. Many are becoming stronger, more resilient and positive, knowing that they will be able to surmount this challenge, and even support others throughout the ordeal too.
Slow Down, Relax And Let Go
A friend recently mentioned that when she finally made up her mind to just allow herself to relax, let go and feel safe in the presence of spirit, she felt her shoulders spontaneously lowering from her ears back down to their natural position. “It was such a surprising relief,” she sighed.
Indeed, when we slow down and relax, we can let go of the worries and fears that are beyond our control. When we give ourselves permission to just let go, it allows deep healing to begin, and to be more in-tune and connected to our body and its needs.
There is no need for us to control everything. It serves our highest good to release the past, the limitations, the fears and anxieties, the unforeseen circumstances, and the constant criticisms and judgements. Instead, we must allow the Universe to work on our behalf.
As a child I was an obsessive worrier, over-achiever and a classic Type A personality – harder on myself than anyone else could ever be! I even refused to use an eraser doing my school work. My mother would say that’s why they put erasers at the end of pencils, to easily correct our mistakes. But I felt I had to do everything perfectly the first time. It was exhausting.
Mom also would say that most of the things we worry about never actually happen. My mother had many such words of wisdom, which my daughter today calls grandma’s “nanaisms.” Well, Nana was spot on! We tend to waste so much precious time and energy on worrying about absolutely nothing.
Lost time and wasted energy, however, is not all we sacrifice to our fears and worries. When we constantly anticipate problems or disasters in every life situation, we create unnecessary stress and anxiety, which can also lead to illness, relationship problems, depression, and even premature aging and death.
Will The Aliens Come And Rescue Us?
I don’t know if is due to the havoc that has been happening on our planet in recent months, but lately I have consistently been having an unusual, recurring thought. I have been wondering whether the aliens might be willing to come and rescue us? Unfortunately, my next instinct is usually, I doubt they will!
If we had the opportunity to express our fears and worries to highly-evolved extraterrestrial beings, and ask for their help, how would they respond?
Let’s say we tell them how terrified or confused we have been of this insidious new virus that has been spreading all over our world. Or maybe we would whine and fret over the changing climate, extreme weather patterns, pollution, the plight of the animals, or environmental decline. Or we might lament the many socio-economic hardships, cultural difficulties, psychological suffering and physical pain many of us face in our daily lives.
My guess is the aliens would immediately question our fears, and remind us that it only creates panic and paralysis. Fear does not heal, or solve problems. The aliens will also explain to us that while we are here in this particular plane of physical existence, there is great value in learning to creatively cope with all the trials and tribulations that are thrown our way.
Even though life’s setbacks may appear to be frightening and insurmountable at times, each time we accept the challenge, it will enhance our personal growth and spiritual expansion. We become stronger and wiser as spiritual beings, and with the conquering of every passing fear and obstacle, we become more adept at understanding the true purpose and meaning of life and our place in the Universe.
Nurture Your Friendships In These Difficult Times
My how time flies! And the older I become, the quicker it seems to go. Looking at my calendar this morning I was reminded that we are now well into the Fall, or Autumn. The year 2020 has indeed had its particular challenges, and soon we will all have to be ready for yet another journey around the Sun.
What has 2020 been teaching you? For me, the difficulties and drama of this year reminded me how important our relationships are. Our relationships with our partners, children, relatives, coworkers and friends, as well as our relationship with nature and spirit.
This crazy year made me realize once again how easily we take for granted the people who add value to our lives. This is especially true of our friends, who basically have no obligation to be a part of our lives. For many of us, these are the people who have kept us sane and kept us going during the Covid-19 pandemic. They are often the people who constantly enhance our lives no end, month after month, and year after year. But do we make enough of an effort to always look out for them too?
Please consider the following when it comes to nurturing your friendships, in good times and bad. It will help them to blossom and grow.
Show Your Friends They Matter
While lockdowns and social distancing may have prevented you from seeing your friends in person, you can still show them how much you care by sending a simple text, a small gift, or hand-written note, or even a video message, just to let them know you are thinking of them during these challenging times. You may never know how much such a small gesture might mean to them. Continue reading
Finding Your Spiritual Center In A Chaotic World
If you were to ask me how I see the world we currently live in, my honest response would be that we seem to be in a state of mass confusion. There is much misinformation, upheaval, conflicting reports, fake news and conspiracy theories these days. And most of us seem to be struggling trying to find our balance amid all this chaos.
Herein lies the problem: how do we reconcile what we are being told by so many contradictory sources, when it conflicts with our own personal beliefs, thoughts and feelings? Do we trust ourselves enough from our inner guidance system, to assess what is right and true for us, even if it does not match the opinions of others?
Are you the type of individual that will always follow the agenda set out before you, even though at times it leaves you with feelings of doubt? Or perhaps you are a person who makes your choices strictly led by your own beliefs, intuition and spiritual awareness?
The only reasonable approach to any threatening situation at hand is to pay more attention to what you are honestly thinking, and how you are feeling, and how you choose to deal with trying events, rather than obsessing about what may, or may not happen.
It would make things much simpler if we could simply hide away in some cave for a while, or live on a desert island, until all the turmoil blows over. However, here is the catch, if these troublesome circumstances and events in current affairs finally find a way to resolve themselves, how do we prepare for the next time?
What To Believe When You Come Undone
So much of the typical human belief system is actually in direct opposition to the concepts of spiritual law. Let’s take the idiom “Life is too short,” for example. This saying is used to essentially suggest or convince oneself or another that we don’t live long…so just live for the now and just do what’s desirable regardless of the consequences. Well, wrong!
The soul’s journey is quite a long one. We reincarnate through many centuries of lifetimes, until our souls have completely evolved, returning to each new life with lessons to learn based on beliefs, karma and decisions made in our prior lives.
For example, a slave master born might return in his next life as a slave, to face his karma and endure what it’s like to be treated as such, and ultimately understand why it’s wrong. So, in reality, life is ‘too long.’ Every action has a reaction – an energetic effect. Thus, we need to be cognizant and conscientious of all that we say and do in this life, and not just engage or divulge in whatever we please, because of a physically limited life span.
That same theory of misunderstandings and contradictions between spiritual concepts and human beliefs, more detrimentally applies to life struggles and emotional well-being. How many times have you prematurely mourned a relationship…then wound up reuniting with your partner? Or maybe you lost your favorite job and felt hopelessly valueless and depleted, foreseeing eternal darkness, only to find your dream job shortly after? Moments, days, weeks, months, years, where you either take on a defeatist attitude, and suffer, or become a control freak and try to take matters into your own hands. Thinking you are, but not trusting that you are not, the wizard behind the curtain?