family
Think Before You Speak Or Act
Sometimes, it is wise to move with caution and think things through slowly, so that we truly know what the best decision would be. This is especially true if you are one of those sensitive people who tend to be a ‘people-pleaser.’
Like the game of chess, it is smart to plan ahead and consider your options carefully. You don’t want to make a quick move, without clearly looking at what all the possible outcomes could be. We sometimes tend to make snap decisions to accommodate the needs of others, only to regret it later when we discover that it was a really bad move!
For example, if someone is asking you to do something for them or become involved in their project, and you just don’t know if you should commit yourself, you should say to that person: “You know, I’m so busy right now, I need a little time to think about it. I will get back to you on that as soon as I can.”
This way you do not have to walk away feeling you have let someone down, or harbor guilt or regret. You then take the time you need to simply think it through. Have a look at your calendar, make a few calls and decide how you really feel about this request or offer.
I believe this is one of the best pieces of advice I have ever been given: think through what you say and do, before you say and do it. Always consider if it is going to have a positive effect on your life and those around you. Never do anything that does not serve your highest good. It goes back to the ‘domino effect’ or the Law of Cause and Effect.
A Missed Call From Heaven
Did you know a deceased loved one can contact you from the other side using a telephone? I know this from firsthand experience. This happened to me twice, 35 years apart.
In 1976, after coming home from church one day, I received a phone call from my grandfather, who had passed away earlier that day. When I answered the phone I had no clue that my grandfather had died. It was a silent phone call from the afterlife to say his goodbyes.
Recently, 35 years later, I have had a repeat experience of this exact same experience. This time it was on my cell phone. I was on the Interstate 70 highway, driving back from Indiana to Ohio. It was an exhausting and stressful journey. On the way, I noticed that my phone showed that I had missed a call. It was kind of weird, because the phone never rang. I did not give it a second thought and rather concentrated on my driving.
When I finally did get to Ohio, I was relieved that the long drive was finally over – until my gas light came on. I really didn’t want to stop at that point in time, but I had no choice. So, I figured I might as well get something to drink.
When I walked in the store to get my drink, I smelled a familiar odor of cigar smoke that I have not smelled since the 70’s. It was the distinctive smell of the cigars that my grandfather used to smoke. And it was very, very strong. It was so intense that I had to stop what I was doing. To be honest, it gave me a cold chill down my back – to such an extent that I even turned around to see who was there. But there was no one else around.
When I got back to my car, I noticed that the battery on my cell phone was blinking. I knew for a fact, when I left the car, that my battery was almost fully charged. I picked up the phone and it showed that I had two missed calls from a person called Perry Anderson. My grandfather’s name was Perry Anderson, but his contact details are not stored on my phone…because he died decades ago in 1976!
The Soul Future Of Past Relationships
To outward appearances, endings are a structural matter – now there is a relationship, now there is no relationship. From the soul point of view, ending is a different experience of the relationship.
Ending is not literal at all, but rather a radical shift in imagination. For example, a woman’s father passes on. In her soul the relationship may now intensify and may become the dominant myth shaping her other relationships, her career, and every other aspect of her life.
Memories of her father may now become more vivid than ever, and new feelings may surface. He may be more influential in her life now than when he was alive.
Another example might be a man who divorces his wife, thinking that now his thoughts will turn toward a new life. With the struggle of decision and separation now passed, feelings formerly nudged out of awareness now come to the forefront.
Completely unexpectedly, he now has dreams of her seducing him, suggesting that in some way ‘she’ now has renewed desired for him. Years later, he says what many people say: “I didn’t have to go through that divorce. If only I had known then what I know now…”
Apparently there is something in every relationship that is eternal, that goes on forever, and that wants to be exempted from the life-decision to cut ties. If you are experiencing this, it is not your imagination. You are simply being quite human.
Obviously, our relationships are not as simple or as limited in scope as we sometimes like to think them to be. There are only so many people we come to know in a lifetime, and an even smaller number with whom we live intimately. Continue reading
The Mysterious Man In The Back Yard
I remember coming out the back door, with a Kellogg’s Pop-Tart in one hand and a seven ounces bottle of 7Up in the other. It was July 13th. It was dad’s birthday and I had to be about nine years old at the time.
The family spent the day at my grandparents’ house to celebrate. More and more guests were showing up, until all the aunts, uncles and cousins were crowding together in the very small back yard.
I then noticed this mysterious man who I had never seen before. He was wearing a trench coat and he had a long beard. I remember thinking that he looked funny to me. I asked my mother who the man was, but when she turned around he was gone.
Later that night, I saw the same apparition again. It happened twice, and every time I saw him he was looking at me in a strange way. My grandparents became curious and asked me about this man I kept seeing. I described him and they seemed shocked.
My grandmother went to get a photo album and showed me an old picture. She asked me if that was the man I had seen and I immediately recognized him. My grandfather then told me that it was his uncle and that he died by falling off a cliff. Foul play was suspected, but nobody knew who might have pushed him or caused his accident.
Later that week, we took our bikes to cycle around a nearby hill. My older brother Mike was riding his bicycle down the hill and he suddenly hit a loose rock really hard. It blew out his front tire and was going very fast, but he was not seriously injured.
Soulmates Are A Divine Grace
Soulmate connections are a very real and powerful phenomenon, but many people find it difficult to determine whether someone truly is a soulmate, or not.
In my experience a soulmate is someone to whom we feel deeply connected, as though the communicating and communing that take place between you were not the product of intentional efforts, but rather a divine grace. This kind of relationship is so important to the soul that many have said there is nothing more precious in life.
We may find a soulmate in many different forms of relationships and in all areas of our lives, including friendship, marriage, work, family and recreation. We even find it with a delightful ‘critter’ – the pets we feel that special connection with.
Many times, when a soulmate first comes into our life, we have that feeling of familiarity as if we have known them before. Often, indeed, we have known them in a past life or many previous lives.
The famous American psychic Edgar Cayce stated that a soulmate is an individual who we have an ongoing connection with. The soul picks up on this longstanding connection with that person again and again in various times and places and over many lifetimes.
Most importantly, Cayce further stated that we tend to be attracted to another person at a soul level, because by being with that individual, we are somehow provided with “an impetus to become whole ourselves”. This is also known as ‘soul recognition’. We are therefore not drawn to our soulmate simply because that person is our unique complement.
Reach Out And Touch Someone’s Life Today
It has been nearly a full year since many countries started going into their first lockdowns due to the global pandemic. Some people have endured much suffering and loss, especially due to the passing of loved ones.
Some have also become ultra-stressed working on the front lines in healthcare facilities, nursing homes and many other essential services. Many have lost income, jobs and businesses. Many are facing mental health challenges. Many schools have been shuttered and teaching became virtual. Parents have been struggling to multi-task between working at home and entertaining or educating their kids.
Regardless of where we find ourselves on this stress continuum, it is important to try to find some order in all the chaos. Although it might be hard to reconcile with the state of the world as it is today, it is still vitally important to carve out a little time for self-care and putting yourself first.
Just a few brief minutes of deep breathing, visualization, meditation, reading uplifting books, journaling, or a perhaps the luxury of a quick walk outside to clear the cobwebs can all work wonders! Whatever is feasible on any given day, it is important that you create a little oasis of calm for yourself. Reduce the pressure of the day by showing yourself some love and respect first.
If you are in doubt as to where to start, you can begin by just focusing on some gratitude and appreciation. Despite all the loss and heartache many of us have suffered in recent months, there is always something for which we can be grateful. Whether it is something grandiose and eventful or small and precious only to our hearts, give thanks for whatever comes to mind.
Love can be a wonderful motivator. We often do things for the people we love, rather than doing those same things for ourselves. It can feel wonderful to see the reaction of our little ones, spouses, elders, colleagues, or neighbors when we say or do something special to surprise them or acknowledge them. That is all it takes to show some love, compassion, appreciation and friendship.
Keeping My Promise To A Departed Loved One
Sometimes we become so busy and preoccupied in our daily lives that we forget the commitments we made to loved ones, relatives and friends. But this does not only apply to the living. Some of us also forget the promises we make to those that are no longer with us.
Too often we hold the hand of a loved one on their deathbed and promise to look after those they will be leaving behind. They wish for us to look after those they will no longer be able to care for and love in this life. And we promise wholeheartedly to do whatever it is they ask of us in their final moments.
But once they have departed and life returns to normal, we soon forget these promises and serious conversations. Our memories become conveniently selective. We usually don’t mean for this to happen, but life does have a way getting in the way.
I had a shocking reminder recently of my own selective memory in this regard. Several years ago, I got into the habit of journaling about issues in my life that deeply matter to me. Recently, I was not able to sleep and was encouraged by spirit to go through my journal.
So, I sat up at about four o’clock in the morning and randomly opened my journal on the very page where I had written about a promise that I had made to a loved about another person, whom I had a strong dispute with in the past. Being only human, I had some seriously negative feelings towards that individual.
However, I had promised to check in and be supportive to this person, whom I did not like very much at all, on behalf of the person who was in their final hours. At the time, I remember saying that I would “do my best” and that “if I could, I would.”
The promise was much more than just checking in on the relative. It went as far as the very items I was meant to get at the grocery store, as well as things to say to this person when I delivered it. I had however conveniently forgotten about it since, until I discovered the entry in my journal.