childhood
Work Through The Fear, Obligation And Guilt (FOG)
Reflecting on my life I have found how many of my early life experiences have subconsciously influenced me, mostly due to a lack of awareness that allowed fear, a sense of obligation and guilt to remain hidden.
These hidden influences mostly come from my formative years and became obstacles I had to repeatedly struggle with in my adult life with regards relationships, career, finances, family and community.
Once I discovered these non-empowering beliefs, it was time for me to get out of the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). In hindsight, several things I was unaware of in my family’s dynamics, were actually ‘seeds’ hidden beneath the surface that in time sprouted into personal challenges and self-sabotage.
Fear
Fear and insecurity are frequent visitors for many of us in all areas of life. I was constantly focused on the negative and worst-case scenarios. This is because our brain is wired this way for the purpose of survival. Much of it also depends on our upbringing. So, we must recognize this and catch ourselves early on, in order to shift our thoughts and emotions in a positive direction.
We must be cognitive of our behaviors and explore where in our life we have learned these negative, fear-based responses. Fear is a natural part of life, but can easily become a ‘whack-a-mole’ of frustration, anxiety, uncertainty and indecision, always showing up at the most inconvenient times.
Faith Is My Armor Of Light
When I had just completed high school, I decided it was time to venture out into the world, get an apartment and just experience living all on my own. So, one month after graduation, I let my butterfly wings soar and found a little place about a few blocks from where I grew up.
One night something happened I will never forget, even though it was 30 years ago. I remember it like it was yesterday. Someone brought over an Ouija board! I was brought up to believe that the Ouija board is a portal to the lower realm and negative energies, and that sometimes who you want to connect with isn’t always who actually comes through. My friends and I asked the board who we were talking to and his name was George.
The part that really creeped me out came later, after everyone had gone home. I was cleaning up. My apartment was on the third floor and as I was looking down at the four corner intersection below, there was a car sitting under the street light. An older, bald man rolled the window down and leaned over to look up at me through the passenger window. “I’m George”, he said. I was so creeped out!
My roommate was gone and I was exhausted, but I couldn’t sleep. Lying in my bed later, I was trying to make sense of it all. I looked across the room and the light coming in through the blinds made it so I could see the hallway and the doorway. And there I suddenly saw the shape of a man; the figure of a man that was so dark, but you could totally make out it was a man standing right there in the doorway! I will never forget his voice. “I will never leave you, nor forsake you”, he said. Amazingly, I felt immediately comforted.
The church I grew up in was directly across from my new apartment. And I just knew that he was an angel, letting me know that through my faith I am protected. I was never again scared to be by myself.
Old And Worn, Or Shiny And New?
My dad was an avid coin collector. This is probably why I have the habit of collecting spare change to look at the dates or any flaws on each coin. I guess it’s in my DNA.
One of my favorite memories of my dad is sitting at his antique roll-top desk looking at his coins with a magnifying glass. Some coins were old, dirty, beat-up, others new and shiny. It is easy to be attracted to the new and shiny coins.
I remember my father telling me some of the ones that look so old and ugly are sometimes worth much more than they may appear to be. When we go on looks and youth alone, the old, tarnished silver dollars in our lives might look like they are not worth much, but sometimes they are priceless.
My dad always said, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” After he had passed, my mother took some of his silver dollars in for appraisal and much to her surprise some of the silver dollars were worth thousands.
When I am doing readings, my dad, who is now in spirit, will sometimes come through to show me a certain old coin. It is my personal psychic symbol meaning the person I am reading for has something, or someone, in their life that may seem ‘old and worn-out,’ but worth much more than face value.
It is human nature to choose things that are bright, new, young and shiny. Sometimes we make bad life choices regarding people, places and things on appearance alone. I once bought a sports car for the way it looked. It was red and looked feisty, but it was not a great choice for the snow and ice we have here during the winter. Totally impractical. What was I thinking!
I have been reminiscing about my dad a lot lately. I asked him once if he could only live in one of his former houses, which one would he choose? Without hesitation his answer was the old family house in Maine. He was the third generation to own that house. “Why the old house,” I asked. His reply, “There is nothing in the Florida house I cannot replace. The old house has memories that are irreplaceable and priceless, right down to the wood and square nails that hold it together.”
Accepting Your Psychic Abilities
I was recently asked how I became aware and started using my psychic abilities. For many this can be a complicated, challenging journey, but I was fortunate to grow into my psychic gifts quite easily.
It all began with me growing up in a small town with a population of only 8000 souls. We were a large family of 12 children, which at that time was more common than today.
From the time I can remember, my mother used to foretell events and always spoke of a person’s “inner character,” as if she could clearly see their internal mechanisms as one would with an X-ray. It was also clear to everyone who knew her that she never seemed to be wrong in her estimations.
At the same time, my grandmother, as well as my father, frequently spoke of spirits coming back to visit us from the afterlife, and sightings of loved ones who had passed on was a common occurrence in our family life.
I can remember even as a very young child that I also just ‘knew things’ and certainly it never occurred to me to question the validity of any information I perceived. In my family it was not unusual to hear talk of someone having the “third eye” or the “second sight.” No one was ever denied their gifts.
As children we simply took these ideas in our stride and accepted them as natural and normal. We never had reason to question any of it and we didn’t realize this was not something all children experienced in their families. It was as common to us as any other domestic event that would occur in other people’s homes.
Psychic ability, metaphysics and the paranormal was something that we would naturally nourish growing up and utilize to whatever advantage we needed. Maybe ones of the reasons it became so strong among the siblings, was our inherent drive to survive under extremely arduous and stressful conditions. Only later in life did we come to understand that not all brother and sisters develop this strong psychic bond, with the ability to connect and detect danger in any situation, despite the great distances that might separate us to this day.
The Old Man And The Christmas Bells
With Christmas upon us I have been hearing church bells every Sunday in recent weeks, just like in my younger years. Going back to those years in my mind, I can remember being very young when my mother was stopped by a man who told her he was the new pastor at this church far from our house. He looked younger than my parents and he asked my mother if we had a church that we go to. She told him we did not and the man gave us an invitation to attend his church.
Since this church was reasonably close to where I grew up, it was fun to walk there at first, but after a while it seemed like forever. But my mother made a promise to us kids that after church we could get a soda pop or an ice cream cone if we were good. Mom knew how to persuade us kids to go to church without a fuss.
When I first looked at the church is seemed big, but it looked very different from the Catholic church across the street. We opened the doors and were greeted by two old ladies who handed out the programs for the service. They also told me that I would meet my mother down here in the same place after Sunday school.
Next I met my Sunday school teacher. His name was Rusty and since I was the ‘new kid on the block’, he introduced me to all the other children. Since I didn’t know any of them, I didn’t know what to think. Then Rusty started with the lesson and once again it seemed like forever for Sunday school to be over.
Later, I met mom downstairs and as I was walking down the hall a older man greeted me. I greeted him in return, not thinking much of it. After we had been seated and the pastor opened with prayer, I remember looking around and noticing that the old man was not sitting in the same pews anymore. He seemed to have left.
When I was 16 I was really into going to church, trying to find myself and meeting girls! Why not? I was young and still trying to figure out life.