Children
To Hate Is A Self-Destructive Choice
When I was in middle school, around the age of 13 or so, I remember an older, more popular girl used to constantly bully me. I also remember coming home from school and telling my mother about it. I told my mother that I hated that girl, but she very sternly said, “Oh no, you don’t hate anyone!”
I defiantly replied, “Oh yes, I do!”
My mother then patiently replied, “Okay, well if you are going to insist on hating her, please go and do it somewhere else, young lady. I do not want to hear about it anymore!”
She never explained to me why she felt it was inappropriate for me to hate anyone. I didn’t figure this out until much later in my life.
My own daughter is now also a teenager and she sometimes comes home from school with similar complaints. A girl at school has been spreading false rumors about her. Just like I did all those years ago, my daughter also told me how she hated this girl. And I replied the same way my mother did, except I also explained that hate only breeds more hate.
To hate someone or something only hurts you, no one else. My daughter hating this person she feels has wronged her, will only cause her to hurt herself more with negative emotion, every time she thinks about this person. Every time she tells a friend or family member about this girl, she will be refueling her own negative fire. Thus, she will only end up hurting herself more.
The other girl does not feel every occasion my daughter is upset, or reliving the hurtful situation that occurred. In reality, my daughter is punishing herself every time she thinks about how this person wronged her. This is what we all tend to do, when we find ourselves in similar or hurtful situations.
Grandma’s Love Was The Best
I remember what Grandma was wearing when she passed away. I also recall exactly what she said and everything else that happened that day, right down to the violets I picked in the backyard to place in her hand. She was wearing an oversized Winnie the Pooh T-shirt that could have been a night dress, I’m not sure. She had her red robe on and black slippers lined with greyish fluff.
She was told she was being taken to the nursing home, but it was actually hospice she would be going to. She could no longer walk and had fallen, and no one was able to pick her up. Not even myself. I wish I could, but I just was not able to.
I sensed she wasn’t to going be with us very much, and I was very upset about it. But constantly having to give her blood transfusions and her being in so much pain, it was the right decision at the time. I have made peace with that now.
Settling her into the hospice, Grandma was adamant the bed be taken out, as it was unbearably uncomfortable. She kept saying, “I just want to go home and die. This is no way to live. I’m ready to go.” She also told me, if I ever needed her after she had gone, all I would have to do is call her name, and she would be there for me. Grandma kept her promise to me. To this day I still feel her around me all the time, especially when I think of her and call her name.
I think the worst thing I ever experienced in my entire life was walking into that hospice room after she had passed and seeing her shell of a body. She was no longer there, obviously, but she was still around. I felt she was somewhere in the room looking at us and saying her goodbyes.
Pain had made her very bitter towards the end of her life. She wasn’t herself anymore because she was on so many different strong medications and invasive treatments. I sensed that she longed to be with her departed husband and her dear mother who passed when she was just a young girl. Her mom was also a psychic and apparently really good with things like Numerology and dreaming lucky numbers. I loved hearing all those stories.
When You Hear Things…
My grandson, his wife and their two-year-old boy, as well as their cat and dog, recently all came to live with me for a couple of months, while waiting to move into their new home. Normally my house is exceptionally quiet, so I absolutely enjoyed the noisy hustle and bustle of having a young family under my roof.
Because both parents work, their son goes to day care twice a week. They leave just after 6am in the morning and he is picked up again at 3pm at the end of his mom’s workday. The entire time they stayed with me this schedule never wavered.
Late one morning, just before noon, I was sitting quietly in my chair catching up on some knitting. I was home alone and there was little going on in the house, aside from the regular activity of the cat and dog. It therefore took me by surprise when I suddenly heard a child crying?
The wailing sound briefly came from the kitchen area, where the back door is located. I thought I was imagining things, so went back to knitting. All was quiet for a few minutes, but then the crying started again! Subconsciously, I assumed it must be my granddaughter who was home early with her son, so I expected them to come into the living room soon. But nothing further happened.
Then I heard the crying again. This time it was loud and clear enough that I had to get up and investigate. But there was no one to be found in the kitchen. I looked out the window thinking maybe they might have gone back to the car, except there was nothing in the driveway. I then opened the back door, but there was no one there. I then decided I was either imagining things, or maybe it was the cat or dog I heard.
Birth Order And The Empath
Most of us are familiar with the notion that the personality traits of the firstborn are typically different from the middle sibling, or the youngest child in the family, and so on. But many empaths do not realize how they may be impacted by their birth order in the family.
In The Birth Order Book, author Kevin Lemar gives a detailed outline of these so-called ‘birth order’ characteristics and qualities.
Firstborns, as well as only children, for example, are often associated with leadership attributes and stronger personalities, along with being more protective, fearless, and reliable than their siblings. However, the firstborn may also exhibit some less desirable traits, such as being controlling, bossy and impatient.
The middle-born tend to be social butterflies and peacekeepers, who are focused on fairness and keeping everyone happy. The youngest-born tend to be fun-loving, outgoing, creative, free spirited and can be adept at manipulating others to do things for them.
Only children tend to be mature for their age, perfectionistic and conscientious, but may feel the burden of high parental expectations.
The Firstborn Empath
My experience with empaths has been that the firstborn and only child empaths are indeed more protective, fearless, independent, reliable, but in the empath these protective instincts are magnified tenfold.
They also tend to feel it is their responsibility to solve every human problem and protect everyone around them, regardless. I often see a very enhanced sense of responsibility.
Children Are Messengers Of Light
We have all been witness to a child’s laughter. There is just nothing else like it. Such complete innocence, joy and bliss! It must be the most wonderful thing one can hear.
A child’s laughter evokes a feeling of pure and complete connection with the Light. Why is that? I believe it is because children are so connected to God. It even says so in the Bible. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
Children are so free of ego and they can have authentic conversations, while so many adults have to struggle with being true to themselves. We struggle with letting our own light shine, but children are full of truth, kindness and mean no harm. The children of our world are messengers of love and light.
Sadly, we as adults sometimes get short with kids, because we feel what we are doing is so much more important than their simple pursuits. Instead we should maybe let go of the mouse, get off the computer and play with our kids. Try it and see how their love light shine so brightly, because of the attention and time you devote to them.
When I do readings for people and they are struggling in relationships and with self-esteem. I often ask them whether their mother and father talked to them. Did they read to them? Play with them? Many times our adult struggles go back to not being given that soothing touch at a young age or being ignored as a child.
So parents, let’s change the world one child at a time and give back for all the love, joy and hope that they bring us. It’s so simple. Just spend time with your child.
I used to baby sit for a child whose parents were so busy working all the time. Sadly, he would go from daycare to babysitter on rotation. I could see in his eyes the lack of love, but he would always greet me with a smile and a picture that I could tell he had worked diligently on. I would drop to my knees and hug him, and I could just feel him soaking it in like a plant that hadn’t been watered in a long, long time.
Honoring Our Fathers And Forefathers
In our youth we easily forget to honor those fathers and father-figures who love and guide us. As we grow older, and hopefully wiser, some of us begin to realize that our fathers are the unsung heroes we never appreciated much. If we are one of the lucky ones, they were our champions growing up.
Always stalwart and steady, no matter what was going on around them or preying on their minds. How often must they have ended their day wondering whether they were doing enough for their families and what the future might hold?
After the fact, sometimes they openly share the worries, fears and insecurities that became all too real in times of crisis, but these challenges were carefully hidden from us, so as not to frighten us.
For those of us who have fathers who fought in wars for our freedom, we owe a great debt of gratitude. These courageous men who may have been terrified in the face of grave danger, fought bravely for their beliefs and the safety of their families. Many were lost or injured. Most returned home, greatly changed. And yet, we rarely heard about the realities of war, or their sacrifices.
Striking a balance between strength and vulnerability is a never-ending work in progress. Blessed is the man who finds his equilibrium with a calm, cool demeanor in the midst of the chaos that surrounds them. Blessed also are the children who call him “Dad.”
To the men who have acted as leaders and mentors to many protégés, perhaps without even knowing it, a great deal is owed. Whether it has been through leadership in business, teaching in schools, or volunteering in communities, many have no idea how deeply they have affected those whose lives they have touched, even peripherally.
The Extraordinary Treasure Of The Ordinary
It is unfortunate that so often tend to take the ordinary for granted. Ordinary things that we do not consider unusual or special is seldom something we excited about. But the very things that one person might consider ordinary, is a magical treasure to another.
When I was about six years old, I remember being at the ocean looking at some beach roses, when a butterfly landed on one of the roses right in front of me. Even at that age, I intuitively knew this was somehow a special and significant sign. My dearly departed grandmother used to love beach roses and butterflies. I did not know it at the time, but right then and there these two things became my future mediumship symbols for someone’s grandmother in spirit.
I thought it was the most beautiful butterfly I had seen in my young life! I was excited to have my sister see and experience the beauty of it, so I called her over. To my surprise she shrugged and said, “No big deal. I see butterflies like that all the time.”
Her cynical reaction took some of the joy out of the experience for me at the time. At that young age, my older sister’s opinion on things mattered a great deal to me. But I have grown wiser over the years.
Later in life, I could not help but wonder why my sister did not see the world as I did in those days? The answer that eventually came to me was that it is all in the timing. It is about what is going on in our life at a given moment in time. One day we may look at things a certain way and not really see them as beautiful or anything special, while on another day we might be thrilled and amazed by the exact same things.
For example, we frequently travel the coastal road in my area. One day last summer, at the height of the pandemic, we were slowly driving along this road. with no rush to be anywhere at a designated time. Normally we would be in a hurry to get somewhere, but due to Covid-19 there was nowhere urgent where we needed to be.