Today’s Journey, Not Tomorrow’s Destination

I often hear my clients say, “If only I can meet my soulmate, then I will be happy.” Then when they meet that special person, they say they will finally be happy once they propose. Once they are married, then they cannot be completely happy until they have children.

Then, if they only one child, then can only be happy if they have a second. Or if they have two boys, they will only find lasting happiness once they also have a girl. Or they can only be happy once they have built or bought the dream house, or lost the weight, or launched their new business, and on, and on.

The worst scenario is people waiting for their retirement to finally be happy.

If you ask other people you will discover that nobody has everything they want. Most people have never had ‘everything.’  The few that might seem to have it all, usually do not. There is always something still lacking or missing. Nobody’s life is perfect.

Many of us spend our fleeting time on this planet wanting more, being insatiable, and never feeling fulfilled, content, or happy. It’s wonderful to have goals. Not having goals can be extremely depressing. But enjoying the process and journey toward achieving those goals will make them have even more valued and fulfilling.

More importantly, we are seldom grateful or appreciative for what we do already have. I have also found that not being grateful will bring us karmic lessons of appreciation, often by losing the good things in our life that we so easily disregard. I have seen that time and again with clients, friends and relatives.

We are an insatiable, greedy society. This who become millionaires, then want to be multi-millionaires., and then won’t be happy or fulfilled until they’re billionaires. When is enough, enough. We can only wear one outfit at a time, drive one car at a time and live in one house at a time.

I have so many friends who spent their children’s entire childhood chasing the career dreams and business goals, constantly being stressed, frazzled and not at all present when they do spend a little time with their kids. Then they wake up one day and realize their children are grown and gone, and they missed most of it.

The secret of happiness, you see is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less ~ Socrates

I have a two-year-old and five-year-old, and I often feel like I can’t get anything done. My toddler especially wants my attention all of the time. I can’t get dishes done, or laundry, or work.  I know this is only a phase and it will get easier, so for now I am just ‘sitting with it’ and ‘breathing through it.’

I remind myself every day to enjoy having her in my arms so often, for someday soon I will most likely have to ask for the occasional hug. I focus on the smell of her hair, the feel of her little toes, her little hands. I remind myself, one dayI will have a perfectly clean, organized home, but I will also be missing my two-year-old baby girl terribly. She will be busy with her friends and social life, then she will be off to college, and eventually married with her own children.

So, I try to not to worry too much about my ‘messy’ house and focus on how adorable and cute my kids are at the moment. I try to stay in their mindset of infinite time and no worries about adult responsibilities. I just play and make an effort to ‘be in the moment’ with them. I also learn from their pure enjoyment of the smallest and simplest things. Now that is true joy and happiness!

Focus on the special people and good things you have in your life. Devote yourself to loving them and be grateful when a new person comes in. Be grateful for the work or business you have now. That doesn’t mean you don’t go out and apply for a better job or plan your new business venture. It just means you enjoy and appreciate the current job or business in the process.

Recently, my neighbor, who is healthy, married to a lovely man, has two beautiful children and is financially quote stable, attempted to take her own life, simply because she hated her job and felt she had failed in her original career goals. Ironically, after she survived, she was then worried she would lose her job because of her actions and that her professional reputation would be ruined forever. Suddenly the horrible job became the employment she was now praying to hold on to!

Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity ~ Carl Jung

Yes, goals are very important to inspire us to greater heights, but waiting for happiness to arrive with the next achievement, or the one after, is sending the Universe the message that you aren’t satisfied with the blessings you have already received. It is like sitting at your own birthday party every day, opening another gift, only to toss it aside, because it is not what you wanted. It is never the biggest, or coolest gift. It is just never enough.

But the truth is, it is enough. It is enough for now. It is enough in this moment. Dissatisfaction, discontent and lack consciousness energetically only creates resistance that will not bring your gifts and blessings closer. It will slow it down instead, or even stop it from coming all together. Life is precious. Enjoy it today, with all of its flaws, shortcomings and challenges. You are alive right now! Don’t wait until tomorrow to start enjoying, and appreciating it. True happiness is about today’s journey, not tomorrow’s destination.