truth
When A Relationship Ends
When a relationship ends, no matter which partner ended it, a certain amount of healing and forgiveness is always needed. But people deal with break-ups differently and everyone handles it in their own, unique way. There is no right or wrong way. Some people seem to move on more quickly, while for others it can take months, or even years.
In truth, when a relationship ends it has usually been over for some time already. Some people take years to end a relationship, and often they have already grieved the relationship for quite some time.
It is all too easy to sit in judgment of your former partner, or place the blame solely on the other person. You may have been a really good partner in your own eyes, but what was your part in the puzzle of the relationship? One must look at all sides of the story to truly understand why the relationship did not work.
So, although a break-up is uncomfortable and painful, usually accompanied by lots of tears due to self-examination, your own part in any relationship failure must be examined for your own personal growth.
It’s hard to take a look at yourself and be brutally honest on all levels. For example, you may feel that your gave the relationship 110% percent. Well, truth be told, if you really were the only one giving your all to keep the relationship going, then you most likely also became resentful without even realizing it. Your own needs were probably not being met in the relationship. You started to lose yourself and became only the mirror of the other person.
The Universe Provides The Help We Need
Recently, a very dear friend discovered that her partner, who she had been living with for the past three years, was secretly battling an addiction to narcotics. She discovered this in a very hurtful way.
They were getting ready to go out for the evening and she was looking for a specific item of jewelry. When she could not find what she was looking for, she asked him if he had seen it anywhere. He tried to downplay the situation and persuaded her to pick another piece of jewelry to wear. He was sure it would soon turn up.
But my friend was on a mission. That piece of jewelry was her grandmother’s. She would have never misplaced it. After more searching, she eventually discovered that almost all of her jewelry was missing! Thinking they had been robbed by a visitor, she was naturally upset. For weeks my friend was obsessing over what had happened to her jewelry.
Finally she asked for help from her guides, that the truth be shown to her, and sure enough about a month after the first discovery of missing items, she was sorting laundry and checking pockets when, to her surprise, in one of her partner’s pockets she found her grandmother’s diamond earrings!
Shocked, she began to question him about why her earrings were in his pocket. Did he find them somewhere and put them in his pocket, then forgot about them? She was sure there had to be a legitimate reason for this discovery. After all, this is the man who she has lived with, loved, and trusted, for several years. The thought of him actually being the thief never came to mind. Continue reading
Coming To Terms With Death… Our Greatest Ally!
Behind our pretentious mask lurks the realization that we have one authentic desire: to find something… anything that really matters. True desire is a funny thing. If it’s genuine, it must manifest.
According to one ancient esoteric law, manifestation occurs when we realize we don’t want or need the object of our desire anymore. In other words, when we’re no longer separated from ourselves by conflict, we can and do get anything we want.
What prevents us from finding and activating this unity within? The fear of death. Most often times, mortals live in deep conflict and continue to do so for a very long time. Inconsistency is another word that better describes the obvious division existing within us. As it is written in James 1:8 a “double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.”
We want to live so badly, but we know for certain that we are going to die. It’s a contradiction in terms we never really get over.
Contradiction forms itself in the midst of insincerity. The obvious apprehension associated with the idea of death produces an acute inability to communicate honestly and effectively. At our base lurks a finite, uncapped agony. Antagonistic behavior, whether managed, maintained and controlled appropriately, reveals itself in a myriad of deflated obvious ways.
A Life Lived For Entertainment Purposes Only
There’s absolutely no struggle involved in living your life! For Entertainment Purposes Only should be on a sign hung around your neck, to remind you. The only possible interpretative struggle you may conceive is due to the resistance to accept your life exactly and precisely as it unfolds each day.
When you set about to change something, or more importantly, someone; balk at circumstances; oppose the obvious; complain about existing relationships or events; or deny your personal preferred involvement, the fictitious struggle begins.
Now, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty ‘gooey’ burnt marshmallow side of what we’re really talking about here, namely our undeniable ‘bitchy’ refusal to relax and accept our life’s bizarre storyboard unfolding in the manner it presents itself. In other words, the depth of struggle is directly tied to how blatantly spoiled we are.
We are ‘spoiled’ in the sense that we are determined to have things our way, when in fact, the very opposite way of doing things beckons us to surrender our begrudgingly held game. It’s a no-win situation if you continue to refuse to go along with the allotted assignment, in other words; to accept what shows up as it shows up. Do you a have choice? You tell me.
Humor – A Message From My Guides
We encourage everyone to remember the expression, “Laughter is the best medicine.”
Gossip and rumors abound. People overreact to perceived slights and unintended insults. Hair-trigger tempers flare and social media platforms expose issues for all to see. Friends interject their opinions without all the facts. Disagreements become exacerbated in the resulting spotlight. Politics can be polarizing. Stress levels are through the roof. Road rage is no longer an isolated incident. You can feel surrounded by potential conversational landmines.
At times like this, it is important to step back, take a breath and take a break. Come back to the issue with fresh eyes and determine whether it is truly worthy of consideration and comment, or whether it is a tempest in a teapot that will pass on its own. If necessary, deal with the issue using logic and forethought, rather than high emotion.
In times of stress, seeing the lighthearted side of anything can seem difficult, if not altogether impossible. However, there are some ways that you can soften the impact.
If you can come to terms with the idea of worrying only about those things you can really control and take the necessary action to control them, it will make it much easier to compartmentalize and to choose where to focus your thoughts and resources.
Choosing The Path Of The Spiritual Warrior
We live in a time of extreme sensitivity, liability, victimhood and ultimate political correctness. Say the wrong words, use the wrong tone, do the ‘wrong thing,’ and you may be instantly branded as a predator, abuser, at the very least mean, or even legal action material. Sigh. How do we get authentic feedback in such a culture? How can anyone truly learn and grow when so many teachers, supervisors, leaders and mentors are all walking on eggshells?
In this respect I consider myself quite lucky. I have had ample access to honest feedback for growth and healthy arguing (discussions with passion). And people who care enough to speak up have always been a part of my life.
The culture I grew up in was one that expected people to speak up, have opinions, and care about what they were talking about. We were expected to research our point of view, present it, learn from others, teach others, be willing to disagree, sometimes agree to disagree, and still love, hug and stay loyal to each other.
As an activist in the peace and social justice movement, I learned to participate in critical self-assessment groups on a regular basis, with the aim of helping each other stay on track, stay mindful, be challenged to grow, and become bigger and better on the path to freedom.
Are We There Yet?
Are we there yet? It’s okay to ask. The answer, however, should always be no. If we become preoccupied with destination, we lose sight of the purpose of the journey in the first place. When we honor the journey, we are able to keep on the path of forward motion.
Life itself is the journey. We learn the hard lessons, and finally understand that it’s a never-ending process. Often things occur in the guise of mistakes, failures, misunderstandings, hurts. But in truth, not learning from these events is the only failure. And if you don’t learn it the first time, it is highly likely the lesson will repeat itself, over and over again, until you actually do learn it.
When our behavior and actions change, we convert what we have learned into wisdom. For some people the process is a lifelong quest, while others utilize what they have learned and it moves them along quickly. Some people need to go deeper within themselves to make progress.
It is always good to ask if we are there yet. Especially at the beginning of every journey, or when the learned lessons tell us there is more work to be done – inner work to get to the very core of our being. For some people inner work can be very frightening, as many of us deeply suppress the things that we don’t want to deal with. But to complete the journey we must peel away the layers, like peeling an onion.