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Nurture Your Friendships In These Difficult Times
My how time flies! And the older I become, the quicker it seems to go. Looking at my calendar this morning I was reminded that we are now well into the Fall, or Autumn. The year 2020 has indeed had its particular challenges, and soon we will all have to be ready for yet another journey around the Sun.
What has 2020 been teaching you? For me, the difficulties and drama of this year reminded me how important our relationships are. Our relationships with our partners, children, relatives, coworkers and friends, as well as our relationship with nature and spirit.
This crazy year made me realize once again how easily we take for granted the people who add value to our lives. This is especially true of our friends, who basically have no obligation to be a part of our lives. For many of us, these are the people who have kept us sane and kept us going during the Covid-19 pandemic. They are often the people who constantly enhance our lives no end, month after month, and year after year. But do we make enough of an effort to always look out for them too?
Please consider the following when it comes to nurturing your friendships, in good times and bad. It will help them to blossom and grow.
Show Your Friends They Matter
While lockdowns and social distancing may have prevented you from seeing your friends in person, you can still show them how much you care by sending a simple text, a small gift, or hand-written note, or even a video message, just to let them know you are thinking of them during these challenging times. You may never know how much such a small gesture might mean to them. Continue reading
It Is Never Wise To Shoot The Messenger
Time is precious. Time is something we should value more. I sometimes wish there was a ‘time bank’ where all the lost time of my life is safely stored for later use. Imagine that: a time savings account. Sadly, there is no way to get lost time back.
In my line of work as a spiritual advisor, I deal with many cases of regret and ‘lost time.’ Some of these clients tend to use phrases of self-accusation to make sense of their failures and regrets: would have, should have, could have.
Your life should never be a game of waiting for an opportunity given to you by others. Your life is an adventure, and it is your choice how much you will succeed with it. Some people are not more successful than others because they are lucky or more deserving. Success is defined by the individual. It is a choice.
In the four decades I have doing psychic readings, I have come across many success stories. I remember, for example, the lady who was happily married to a building contractor until the birth of their son, when the husband suddenly passed away. She raised her child as a single mother, and later also took care of her grandchildren. Her life was good, except for the absence of a loving life partner.
Every time I read for her over the years, there was always a man who showed up in the cards. It was a man she already knew, who travels a lot, is very knowledgeable about culture, and lives near her. I encouraged her to be patient, the love of her life would show up when the time was right.But she hated to be alone and refused to wait. She was determined to figure out who this mysterious man was.
Spiritual Ascension 2020
When we experience a big shift or breakthrough, it will often feel like our lives are falling apart in order for something greater to manifest. The year 2020 is a prime example of this. It continues to be an extreme year on all levels, and it has truly been testing our inner and outer world.
I believe there is a spiritual reason for all of this. We are shifting into the Age of Aquarius. Our purpose, spiritual connection, relationships, and physical bodies are in the midst of a major spiritual awakening that feels like an intense storm or crisis for many of us.
We are now becoming more aware of the people, places and circumstances that no longer serve us. It is an opportunity to strengthen our intuition and re-calibrate our inner compass.
Emotions are also running high this year, since we are constantly being triggered, but it’s happening to get us in touch with who we really are as spiritual beings, and to help us navigate through the fears connected to our past traumas.
It is meant to integrate the light and dark aspects within each of us, and to embrace it wholeheartedly, without caring what other people may think.
You may also have been noticing certain ascension symptoms. For example, your body no longer wants certain foods, and substances, so be sure to cut back on anything that makes you tired or irritable, or causes you physical discomfort. Drink lots of water, keep a health journal, get some exercise, and eat a healthy, wholesome diet. It will help you be more calm and mindful during these demanding times.
There will continue to be days of anxiety, anger, impatience and frustration, so be sure to acknowledge when any such negative emotions surface, so you can find a moment to breathe and re-direct your energy into something that helps you find greater peace of mind.
Finding Your Spiritual Center In A Chaotic World
If you were to ask me how I see the world we currently live in, my honest response would be that we seem to be in a state of mass confusion. There is much misinformation, upheaval, conflicting reports, fake news and conspiracy theories these days. And most of us seem to be struggling trying to find our balance amid all this chaos.
Herein lies the problem: how do we reconcile what we are being told by so many contradictory sources, when it conflicts with our own personal beliefs, thoughts and feelings? Do we trust ourselves enough from our inner guidance system, to assess what is right and true for us, even if it does not match the opinions of others?
Are you the type of individual that will always follow the agenda set out before you, even though at times it leaves you with feelings of doubt? Or perhaps you are a person who makes your choices strictly led by your own beliefs, intuition and spiritual awareness?
The only reasonable approach to any threatening situation at hand is to pay more attention to what you are honestly thinking, and how you are feeling, and how you choose to deal with trying events, rather than obsessing about what may, or may not happen.
It would make things much simpler if we could simply hide away in some cave for a while, or live on a desert island, until all the turmoil blows over. However, here is the catch, if these troublesome circumstances and events in current affairs finally find a way to resolve themselves, how do we prepare for the next time?
It Just Happened
Too often people justify their poor judgment and bad choices with feeble excuses like, “It just happened.” But we all know that this is seldom the truth. The reality is that every step in our life is a choice. Whether we step forward, sideways, backwards, or stand still, it is a choice. And we should take personal responsibility for our life choices.
In everyday life we do not think much about where our steps may be leading us. We are typically just walking automatically in some direction. Many people simply live by trial and error.
However, when things go bad for us, it is usually because we have subconsciously, or even consciously, made the choice to move in a certain direction – a direction that we intuitively knew was not serving our highest good. And sadly, many times these bad choices also severely affect others.
For example, a friend of mine, who has only been married for one year, currently remains geographically separated from her husband, until she gets her immigration paperwork to be able to join him legally in his country. They had a beautiful wedding, and made the usual promises: to love and cherish, be faithful, in sickness and health, until death do them part.
Despite their long-distance marriage, they were doing everything right during the waiting period – or so it seemed. They called each other daily on the phone, and also talked on video chat. They constantly texted loving messages. He was originally also able to come and visit her here in Canada, but she could not cross the border to see him. However, when the Covid-19 pandemic hit, he was also denied entry. They had no further choice but to wait it out.
Authentic Feelings Are Not Always ‘Sunshine And Rainbows’
What a comfortable, easy life this would be if everyone could just feel like ‘sunshine and rainbows’ all the time. The truth is that the many of the most worthwhile things in life do not come from ‘easy’ and ‘comfortable.’ And when we suppress our true feelings, it is ultimately detrimental to our health body, mind, and spirit.
Revealing our true feelings does not come easily for many of us. I am not trying to make up an excuse, but I just was not brought up that way. My parents’ generation were masters of the art of concealing their true feelings, good or bad. When I am doing a mediumship reading, and a departed parent or grandparent shows up, they often say things like, “I wish I told you more often how much I love you.”
I could count on one hand the moments in my childhood that I can remember my parents showing affection for each other in front of us children. Those of us who had been brought up in such a stoic family environment, tend to struggle when are encouraged to express our deepest emotions. As an adult, I do however see the bigger picture today. And I do feel it is necessary to express one’s feelings in a considerate and healthy way.
In my family my parents also never argued in front of us kids. My dad just gave my mom the silent treatment. We grew up thinking he was just be the ‘strong silent type.’ Consequently, I felt that this was what communication in a marriage should be like.
Of course, reality hit me badly with my first marriage, when my ex-husband and I had our first serious argument! I thought it meant the marriage was now over, because I had no coping skills or frame of reference for this kind of authentic self-expression in a relationship. I also had no clue how to have a good, healthy argument.
The Key To Healing Your Relationship
Our emotions and feelings are not always perceptions that originate within. Many are caused by external events or outer circumstances. For example, a motivational speech can lift you up, while a scolding can bring you down. So too can a healthy, or toxic relationship.
Much of our modern lifestyle is based on our reactive feelings to external influences. Social media influencers, popular culture and news sources tell us how we should feel, but do we really know what is going on in our heart? Marilyn Manson expresses this modern dilemma brilliantly in the song Coma White:
A pill to make you numb
A pill to make you dumb
A pill to make you anybody else
But all the drugs in this world
Won’t save her from herself
In my experience, the reason there are so many dysfunctional relationships and broken marriages these days is the fact that many of us no longer know our own true feelings.
We are all the result of life experience. Experience is what gives us knowledge of success, or failure. The only person you can change, or whose behavior you can alter, is yourself. Every other thing follows suit. That is how we heal our relationships. We must lead by example.