joy
Letting Go Of Toxic Love
I have been reading for many years for a lady who is one of my dearest clients. I just love her to pieces. But I did not love the situation she was in with the man in her life, and neither did she. But it took her a long time to come to terms with him.
She was raising their child, while she worked and paid all the bills. Meanwhile, he did as he pleased and did very little to contribute to their home or their relationship. Neither did he make any effort to support her and their child. He has substance abuse problems. When he drinks he uses foul language and doesn’t exercise good judgment. Most of all he isn’t a good role model for their child.
He basically just drank and smoked, while he lay around all day. “And on top of that he eats me out of house and home!” she used to say.
“So he eats all your food, doesn’t work, gets to live for free, while contributing virtually nothing?” I asked her many times. I think she eventually had an “aha!” moment when I asked her this again the other day, because recently she told me that she had asked him to move out, and it felt like a breath of fresh air!
She didn’t feel like anything was holding her back now. She is going to start a new chapter in her life and she feels a weight has been lifted off her shoulders.
She was originally afraid of making this change, because they had been together for so long – over 15 years. But she said then she finally realized, “He changed, and he was taking advantage of me, and I allowed it because I thought he loved me, but he is not longer that same person I met.”
Living With A Sense Of Childlike Wonder
We can be quick to settle into ruts. The day-to-day routines of school, work and family often become repetitive and, dare I say… monotonous at times.
During these mundane periods of discontent, people often focus on themselves, and their lack.
They will complain about being overworked and underpaid. Whether professionally or personally, they often feel under-appreciated and under-acknowledged. Stress and resentment can start to build.
In order to alleviate stress, you already know that there are many options from which to choose. Whether people get into a daily habit of deep breathing, visualization, meditation or various forms of exercise, the body becomes transformed and stress is dissipated for the time being.
Rather than just staving off bubbling-under-the-surface irritation and potential health issues, we recommend taking things a step further.
Most people have heard the phrase, “Stop and smell the flowers!” Well, whether you prefer to cultivate the soil or be an observer, it is vitally important to redevelop a new sense of wonder in the garden of your life.
Make a little time for a detour now and then. Take note of your surroundings. Investigate, photograph, research some of the little things you take for granted in life.
Stop and take notice of everyday things in nature that you have been passing by for years. Even in the concrete jungles of cities, nature abounds if you slow down and take the time to look.
Finding The Light Within
When we rely on codependent, toxic relationships, materialism and possessions, and other superficial sources of ‘fulfillment,’ it creates a weariness within us. It weighs down the soul. It drowns out the inner light.
Material things and human beings by nature cannot be perfectly reliable all of the time. Material items deteriorate and lose their luster. Friendships and relationships come and go. All that ever truly remains is spirit, and what we do to take care of ourselves. As the world is in dismay in the wake of a pandemic, we can choose to turn to spirit and to take better care of ourselves instead.
While others may choose to descend into lack consciousness, greed or an attitude of entitlement, we can choose an attitude of gratitude, inner peace and joyful living instead.
We have a tremendous opportunity right now to expand our spiritual growth and to empower ourselves with self-care. Many folks don’t realize how useful taking just a few minutes out of their busy day can be!
Adopting a new daily spiritual practice, or simply reading an inspiring book, taking a soothing bath, or buying an aromatherapy diffuser can be uplift the spirit and heal the soul.
There is also crystal energy work, nature walks, prayer, and meditation by a body of water to enhance our joy and connect with the Creator who envisioned all this and brought it all into being.
What we can’t control, we can simply turn over to a Higher Power of our understanding. We can surrender to hope and joy, and let go of our fears. We can say, “This does not have to happen on my timeline, let Your will be done in my life.”
Finding Your Unique Soul Path And Purpose
Sometimes life on the Earth plane seems overly difficult, or perhaps even futile. Depending on where you are in life, what you have achieved and how satisfied you are with the outcomes, these thoughts can be dreary indeed.
Take heart. There is no magic timeline within which you must accomplish great and wonderful things to impress others. You are at liberty to structure your life in a myriad of ways, in the time frame that suits you best.
Take the opportunity to reframe your criteria for success. There are unlimited possibilities when it comes to realizing your ultimate purpose in life. Each person is unique. No two paths are the same. Your journeys, therefore, will not be identical.
Give yourself permission to contemplate your life’s purpose. Allow yourself the latitude to try different ideas before making a lofty commitment. Do not judge yourself harshly for not taking action yet.
Be willing to try a different avenue that better suits your temperament or talents. In general, the end goal can be achieved in many different ways by taking different routes to get there
Avoid comparisons that cause distress. Being inspired by an accomplished master can be wonderful, however, you do not need to pattern your efforts after those of another.
How To Keep Your Relationship Strong
Why is it that some relationships are successful, and some are not? When you fall in love your hope is obviously that it will last forever.
There is nothing worse than falling for someone, only to end up heartbroken and confused about what had gone wrong, and wondering how you can go back to the way things used to be.
So, the question is, how do some relationships manage to last and stay so strong?
I believe it begins with the simple things, like how we greet each other every day, for example. Making the effort to kiss our partner hello and goodbye every time we leave and arrive, is a thoughtfulness that can go a long, long way. It keeps the flame of intimacy burning so much stronger.
We should also learn to say “I love you” without any restraints. Those three little words mean so much.
Sometimes of course there will be arguments in a relationship. Developing healthy conflict management skills is therefore essential.
We might hit a nerve with each other, but just because we’re mad does not mean we don’t love each other. Every fight does not mean that your relationship is over. Any couple that goes the distance can rise above fights and realize what’s most important.
When it comes to conflict and disagreements, I feel that the two things one should never do is say something that you cannot take back later, and never go to bed angry. Words can hurt terribly and even if you forget about it, your partner won’t.
Context, Context, Context
In the sales and marketing field they often talk of ‘location, location, location’ (no matter how good your product or service is, how successful you are often comes down to location). Perhaps in our communication with others we should think of context, context, and context?
We have entered a period of time in the world that communication is misconstrued, even fake and has more opportunities to be interpreted as confrontational, biased, and not politically correct.
On top of that put an individual’s personal style of communication – introvert, extrovert, analytical, emotional subjective and all the other styles, and the matter becomes more thorny.
Then, add even another layer, such as email and social media, which does not involve the other person being face-to-face.
Now communication becomes even more complex, because body language and the human expression energetically is not a resource available to us to can pick up on the subtle options for interpretation. We will initially respond to the email from our frame of reference, and our reference alone, which is biased by our experiences.
So what do we do? Well, we recognize the importance of ourselves being energy vibration, through which our body communicates consciously and subconsciously with everything in our environment. We acknowledge that our emotions, beliefs and thoughts are complex, inter-connected and influence each situational response in our communication.
Are You Holding On To A Broken Relationship?
Are you waiting for him to return to you? Has your break-up stopped you from living your life? Have you decided that no matter what anyone has said to you, that you know that he is coming back to you?
Holding on to a broken relationship is a common occurrence in many people’s lives. One person moves on, another does not.
When confronted with this dilemma, you may believe he will be back. I know him; he can’t function without me. He needs me. He knows we are spiritually connected. However, this is often not the truth of the situation. It is simply your ego egging you on to believe what you want to believe.
I usually ask people to go into their ‘gut’ and take the heart out of it. But still I will get, “My gut says he will be back.” This is ego, because the response is so quick and without breathing in and allowing your guides to give you the proper answer.
There are people that have sat around waiting for weeks, months and even years, for that person that they are sure they were destined to be with. Life passes them by and, yet, they remain convinced that the person is coming back against all odds.
Many of their partners move on, some even marry and start a family, and yet, still, the broken-hearted ex-partner waits for them to return.
There is a rule of thumb that goes with a breakup. Every person has to look at the true reason of the breakup, not what they think the issue was, not what they blame the other person for (or sometimes themselves). What is the true reason? Many times it comes down to compromise.