personality
How To Deal With Toxic People
Toxic people can be incredibly difficult to deal with in both personal and professional relationships and can be detrimental to your personal happiness and well-being.
A toxic person is someone whose constant negativity and dysfunctional behavior causes drama in your life and drains you energy whenever they are around. Typical toxic traits include negativity, cynicism, apathy, lack of self-awareness, arrogance, entitlement, self-centeredness, domineering behavior, lack of empathy, being judgmental, dishonesty, anger outbursts, to name only a few.
The most extreme forms of toxicity includes personality disorders like antisocial, borderline, histrionic, and narcissistic personality disorder. A personality disorder is a rigid, deeply characteristic way of thinking, feeling and acting that severely affects the person’s mental well-being, personal relationships and social life.
Toxic people can however be tricky to identify at first, as their dysfunctional traits and behaviors can be very subtle. Some of them are also very good at ‘gaslighting,’ which makes interacting with them even more treacherous.
Gaslighting is a very toxic form of manipulation, game playing, or crazymaking in which you are constantly being misled, confused, lied to, and made to question your own truth and reality. You increasingly feel unsure about the accuracy of your own memories regarding certain events and your personal opinions and perceptions of the world. You may even begin to think that you are to blame for the toxic person’s actions, or that maybe something is very wrong with you, or worse, that you are losing your mind.
Should You Get Back With Your Ex?
Getting back with an ex can be challenging, especially if it ended badly the first time around. On one hand, it can be an opportunity to repair the damage and make things work, while on the other it can be a difficult decision with a variety of potential pitfalls.
Should you get back with your ex? It depends on you, your ex, and your unique situation. The pros and cons of getting back together varies depending on the people involved, the nature of the relationship, and the current circumstances. The advantages, opportunities and challenges of getting back with an ex may include the following:
Familiarity
One of the main advantages of reconnecting with your ex is the familiarity. You already know each other, so you don not have to start from scratch. This can be a great advantage, as it allows you to jump deeper into the ‘new’ relationship without having to first discover each other’s likes, dislikes, habits, quirks, expectations, hopes and dreams.
Getting back with an ex can be a great way to re-establish a comfortable relationship. You already know how to communicate with each other, you know what the other person needs and wants, and you know how to make each other happy. This familiarity can be very comforting, especially if it’s been a while since you last saw each other.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words!
Actions are key in a relationship of any kind, whether it be with family, friends, co-workers, romantic partners, or spouses. Actions indeed speak louder than words! Our behavior and deeds reveal who we truly are. If I was only allowed to offer my clients one piece of relationship advice for the rest of my life, then this would be it: trust what they do, not what they say.
Here is how to look at it. Let’s say you have arranged to go on a date with someone, but they do not show up, and they have all kinds of excuses later. Okay, life happens. So, they did not notify you of their no-show, and they did not care about your feelings in contacting you. Not good. I am not saying dump them right away, but carefully consider how they handled the situation with you. Do they at least appear to care?
This may be a pattern of theirs, so here is where you already need to start watching their actions more carefully. This event may have been due to a random set of unfortunate circumstances beyond their control, or it is an early ‘red flag’ of who they really are. If someone is okay with disappointing or hurting you with the little things, they will have no problem doing the same someday when it truly matters.
Here is another example that I often find in readings: cheating. Let’s say your boyfriend cheated once, and you caught them. He is all upset with himself, and you guys talk it out. He promises he will never do it again. Now, it is one thing for him to say it, but quite another for him to actually keep his word! His future actions will ultimately reveal the truth. If he repeats the same behavior, then his cheating is not just a mistake or a red flag – it is a dealbreaker!
Creating A Crystal Energy Jar Based On Your Astrology Chart
When thinking of Astrology, most people only know their Sun sign. This chart placement indicates the core essence of the person’s traits and personality. However, many other astrological influences shape our lives, including our Moon sign, Ascendant sign, and Midheaven placement.
Each of us also has a unique astrological birth chart with planets and stars in certain placements, meaning that it is exceptionally rare that two people might have the same natal chart. Even twins with seemingly identical birth charts will usually have small variances in their charts, depending on the amount of time that passed between the first and second birth.
On the rare occasion that two people do have identical charts they are known as ‘time twins.’ For this to be possible, they must be born in the same year, on the same day, no more than 15 minutes apart, and within at least a 10-mile (16 km) radius from each other.
Similarly, each individual crystal and gemstone is also unique and can be used to celebrate the uniqueness of your birth chart, despite it being the birthstone for everyone who shares your zodiac sign. Crystals and stones reflect and magnify the energies we exude, and they can be used as a powerful tool in your spiritual practice.
Something special you can create is a specialty crystal jar to reflect the uniqueness of your own astrological identity by harnessing the energies embodied by certain crystals and stones.
Empaths Need Firm Psychosocial Boundaries
Psychosocial balance is tricky for the empath. It requires managing expectations, checking our reactions and emotions, and most especially setting boundaries. Because it is so easy for us to link into the feelings and emotions of those around us, empaths often forget that others may not respond in kind.
For the empath it’s all about balancing your intuitive gifts with your expectations, and finally your responses. Work, friendships, relationships, all the things that encompass our daily lives, require vigilance to ensure that balance is maintained, or chaos will ensue.
For the Type A empath, jobs, friendships and relationships can end very abruptly with major repercussions. The more assertive empath tends to have the motto of “do unto others before they do unto you.” They will leave a job, a relationship or a friendship at the drop of a hat. The more subdued, timid empath tends to stay in miserable job situations, one-sided friendships, and sometimes downright abusive intimate relationships.
At work especially it is very important for all empaths to remember that there is almost always going to be some personality clashes. Others do not always view us favorably. Remember that you are there to do a job – your job. Staying focused on your work, the requirements of that job and your performance is your primary responsibility. Confronting someone, especially a superior, with “what’s your problem, I know you don’t like me” is counterproductive. Similarly the typical response of the introverted empath to quit, or at least never address any issues, is also futile.
Yes, it can be gut-wrenching or infuriating for empaths to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that a co-worker or boss doesn’t care for them, or has it out for them, but utilize your gift! As an empath you can read the feelings and intentions of others. This gives you a map to the personalities you are dealing with. Use that information to moderate your own responses to the situation and the individuals you are dealing with in your professional environment.
The Spiritual Path Of The Wandering Nomad
A recent chat with a relative about my plans for the future reminded me of a first cousin who once remarked on my nomadic lifestyle, “You really don’t seem to stay in one place for more than ten minutes!” A friend once also pulled my leg about needing to buy a new Rolodex, because I was filling hers up with all my constantly changing addresses from all over the world (those were the days before contacts could be more easily stored on a smart phone).
According to Astrology, I was supposed to get settled early in life as a Cancerian, by creating a permanent home and haven, and having a family with several children. Well, this was never the case. I thought the desire to settle down might come as years passed, but it never happened.
I also never became broody. I would become motherly over a puppy, kitten or other young animal, but I never felt the desire to have children of my own.
Over many years of personal growth and spiritual exploration, I have gained a deeper understanding and greater clarity regarding the choices I have been making in this lifetime.
Astrologically, for example there is a strong Gemini influence in my natal chart which is contributing to my restlessness, as well as Leo fueling my creativity and my sense of determination. I am not am expert astrologer by any stretch of the imagination, but the way it was explained to me by a professional astrologer made perfect sense.
A past life regression session also revealed that I had conceived many children in previous incarnations and that the desire to have offspring of my own this time around was not a part of the blueprint.
I found the matter particularly challenging when I was younger. I would be dating a wonderful guy who really wanted to settle down with me and longed to have a family, but the mere thought of having my wings clipped by marriage and motherhood was always unthinkable to me. So, many good relationships ended because we really were not on the same page about settling down and having children.
Be Comfortable In Your Shoes
Shoes have always been irresistible for me. In my view you cannot have too many pairs of shoes! You need different shoes to go with different outfits.
When doing a psychic mediumship reading, often the spirit I’m communicating with will say to the client, “Don’t try to cram your feet into shoes that don not fit. If you do the end result will be a bunion on your foot.”
It is a metaphor in my psychic ‘data base’ for don’t waste time on people, places or things that just are not working for you.
When I am traveling, I love to ‘people watch at the airport,’ while I have waiting time between flights. Many people spend this time texting on their phone, others play games on their tablet or laptop, or some still read a good book. Then there are the ‘people watchers’ like me that observe things like shoes.
People from different places all over the world are truly interesting to watch. Many travel as comfortably as possible in comfy clothes and shoes. Others prefer to be dressed fashionably, sacrificing comfort for looks. Businessmen typically stroll by in a suit, tie and shiny shoes.
It’s interesting with men, as one tends to see some in sneakers or some other comfortable shoe, including the occasional colorful shoe or sandal. It is however the women who usually reveal more about their character and personality with their shoe selections.
For many women shoes represent how they feel about and see themselves. I still find it simply amazing to watch some ladies walking in six-inch-high heels. Most walk as if they were born in them. Some can even break into a running pace while wearing them. Got to love the TV-series RuPaul’s Drag Race. The contestants always impress me with their strut in sometimes mind-boggling high heels. Awe-inspiring. Continue reading