parenthood
How To Make Gratitude A Way Of Life
Life has certainly not been easy for me recently. First and foremost, my iPhone, email account, bank account and credit card had all been hacked by some very clever cyber-criminal. Soon after, my brother went into hospital for the second time. I was feeling rather sorry for myself until one day, after visiting my brother in the hospital, I was delayed while driving home. I had to stop at a junction to allow oncoming traffic to pass. A hearse was passing by on the other side of the road.
“God bless the deceased and their loved ones,” I softly prayed.
As the funeral procession moved closer, I noticed that the flower wreath beside the coffin had a ribbon with the words: Beloved Daughter. In a flash, all my own problems seemed to evaporate, as I thought of the bereaved parents of the deceased. Here I was, complaining that I could not access my email account, while other people were grieving the passing of a loved one. Although it was a brief, random experience, it made me take a step back and take an honest look at my life. It caused me to reflect upon the many blessings in my life and, apart from my brother’s current health condition, the ongoing well-being of the rest of my family.
The hearse experience was highly synchronistic and definitely a sign from spirit. The Universe no doubt had an uncanny hand in ochestrating this occurence, as it mimicked an similar experience I had almost 20 years ago! Back then, my son had been born three months prematurely and suffered a minor brain hemorrhage as a result. Statistically, the doctors told me, the odds were fortunately in favor of him surviving such a premature birth. Still, the four months that he was in hospital were probably the most harrowing of my life!
Take Some Time Out To Embrace The Silence
I see now, more than ever before, parents busying their children with this and that sport, and this and that activity. I sometimes wonder if they ever have time to just be children.
I see how fast time flies these days and I think we actually make it go by even faster by overloading our lives with so much activity. We over commit ourselves way too much. I have been carefully watching my world lately, and I have seen the busy lifestyles of my friends and family. I see how frantic everyone has become. Such a commotion!
I find it disturbing how we over-busy ourselves and our children, and our lives. We really miss out on what I deem as the ‘finer things’. We need to get that connection back. It’s never too late.
We need to take it down a notch. I understand there are things we have to do – go to work, pay the bills, chores to do, people to see. Sure, I get it! But there are those additional things that we sign on to do when we really shouldn’t, or don’t have the time for, and when we do it has a domino effect. Chaos. Anxiety. Stress.
We need time to unwind more, and not just when we give ourselves six or less hours of sleep. We carve time out for our kids and for our friends and family, and often there is really no time left for a few blissful moments of silence. It’s in the silence that we can know ourselves and truly learn to live with a glass half full mentality.
We are filling our days with so much unnecessary activity these days just to keep up with the Joneses. What is wrong with staying home once in a while? I think staying at home is underrated. I don’t know about you, but home is where my yoga mat has its place and I don’t have to pay a gym membership to be active in my own home. It’s also where my library is, and my family, and most of the things I love and enjoy.
Just Existing, Not Living?
Do you ever feel like you’re existing and not actually living? Well, guess what? You’re not alone. I think at some point in our lives we all do, especially after everything we have endured over the past two years.
In these difficult times, we worry about our health and safety, money, career paths and choices, the perfect house, the perfect partner or spouse.
Our children. Have we raised them right? Or, have we spoiled them? If you don’t know yet…two year olds grow up and teenagers grow out of it!
All of the above are legitimate concerns. But at some point we need to remember to worry only about the things we can control.
Stop focusing so much time and energy on the things you cannot control. All it brings us are toxic thought patterns, an anxious heart and a restless soul. Once we have learned to give all of that up, life seems a tiny bit easier.
There is a famous saying: “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” How very true. You can fixate on all the frustrations, promise yourself that you’ll do this and that, or feel better once you get to wherever – but it doesn’t necessarily work that way. Because it’s easier to think about what you’d rather do, than to just going out and doing it.
Today’s Journey, Not Tomorrow’s Destination
I often hear my clients say, “If only I can meet my soulmate, then I will be happy.” Then when they meet that special person, they say they will finally be happy once they propose. Once they are married, then they cannot be completely happy until they have children.
Then, if they only one child, then can only be happy if they have a second. Or if they have two boys, they will only find lasting happiness once they also have a girl. Or they can only be happy once they have built or bought the dream house, or lost the weight, or launched their new business, and on, and on.
The worst scenario is people waiting for their retirement to finally be happy.
If you ask other people you will discover that nobody has everything they want. Most people have never had ‘everything.’ The few that might seem to have it all, usually do not. There is always something still lacking or missing. Nobody’s life is perfect.
Many of us spend our fleeting time on this planet wanting more, being insatiable, and never feeling fulfilled, content, or happy. It’s wonderful to have goals. Not having goals can be extremely depressing. But enjoying the process and journey toward achieving those goals will make them have even more valued and fulfilling.
More importantly, we are seldom grateful or appreciative for what we do already have. I have also found that not being grateful will bring us karmic lessons of appreciation, often by losing the good things in our life that we so easily disregard. I have seen that time and again with clients, friends and relatives.
We are an insatiable, greedy society. This who become millionaires, then want to be multi-millionaires., and then won’t be happy or fulfilled until they’re billionaires. When is enough, enough. We can only wear one outfit at a time, drive one car at a time and live in one house at a time.
I have so many friends who spent their children’s entire childhood chasing the career dreams and business goals, constantly being stressed, frazzled and not at all present when they do spend a little time with their kids. Then they wake up one day and realize their children are grown and gone, and they missed most of it.
Children Are Messengers Of Light
We have all been witness to a child’s laughter. There is just nothing else like it. Such complete innocence, joy and bliss! It must be the most wonderful thing one can hear.
A child’s laughter evokes a feeling of pure and complete connection with the Light. Why is that? I believe it is because children are so connected to God. It even says so in the Bible. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
Children are so free of ego and they can have authentic conversations, while so many adults have to struggle with being true to themselves. We struggle with letting our own light shine, but children are full of truth, kindness and mean no harm. The children of our world are messengers of love and light.
Sadly, we as adults sometimes get short with kids, because we feel what we are doing is so much more important than their simple pursuits. Instead we should maybe let go of the mouse, get off the computer and play with our kids. Try it and see how their love light shine so brightly, because of the attention and time you devote to them.
When I do readings for people and they are struggling in relationships and with self-esteem. I often ask them whether their mother and father talked to them. Did they read to them? Play with them? Many times our adult struggles go back to not being given that soothing touch at a young age or being ignored as a child.
So parents, let’s change the world one child at a time and give back for all the love, joy and hope that they bring us. It’s so simple. Just spend time with your child.
I used to baby sit for a child whose parents were so busy working all the time. Sadly, he would go from daycare to babysitter on rotation. I could see in his eyes the lack of love, but he would always greet me with a smile and a picture that I could tell he had worked diligently on. I would drop to my knees and hug him, and I could just feel him soaking it in like a plant that hadn’t been watered in a long, long time.
The Origins And Journey Of The Soul
Where do souls come from? Souls are created in a place I know as the Guf, or the ‘Tree of Souls.’ In Jewish mysticism this Tree of Life is located in the Garden of Eden. When this tree blossoms, it produces new souls.
This ‘Treasury of Souls’ is said to be located in the Seventh Heaven. I have seen this place in a dream vision. I could go up to the gold and emerald gates, but could not enter. It is my understanding that all souls are created here by God.
Souls in the Guf are in different stages of evolution. There are young souls and old souls – a diversity of spirit energies waiting to incarnate, reincarnate and ascend.
I can usually distinguish the young, new souls from the wiser and more experienced, because they tend to be a bit ‘wild’ and unrestrained. Young souls are typically eager to experience as many things as possible, and sometimes rush in ‘where angels fear to tread.’ If they are exceptionally gifted, they also need to be guided properly. Many old souls reincarnate to the earth plane to help ground and guide these younger souls.
The old souls also return to provide the physical world with the many things needed for us to thrive, such as advancements in the arts, sciences and technology. Sadly, some greedy, spiritually unconscious humans abuse these gifts to the world for their personal gain. This causes much unnecessary suffering in the world.
When we decide in this life that we would like to have a child, it means our soul wants chooses to take on another soul contract. However, such a soul agreement, like any other contract, is always a two-way process. There cannot be a pregnancy unless the soul of the unborn child also chooses you as parent. In the Guf, souls can decide if they want to join a contract, or not.
My Near-Death Experience
About 12 years ago, right before Christmas, I had a lot going on in my life. I was taking care of my two kids and my brother. My cousin had a three-month-old baby, whose mother was in the hospital with complications due to diabetes. He brought me his new baby and asked if they could stay with us, and if I could care for his son while he worked. He was working the night shift, from around 7pm till 4am. Of course, I said I would help in any way I could.
Between my kids’ and my brother’s schedules, and now this new baby who was colicy, I was exhausted at the end of the second week. Somehow, I also got food poisoning. Never having had food poisoning before, I didn’t know the symptoms and thought I had a touch of stomach flu. Being so tired, I hadn’t realized how sick I actually was. After about 18 hours of fluid loss, I become so dehydrated that I had a seizure. My eyes rolled into the back of my head and I fell down. Apparently, I was clinically dead for around 1½ minutes.
I did not experience all of the typical near-death phenomena. There was not any floating over my body; there was no white light, no tunnel. I was simply here and then I was there. The first thing I remember is walking along a sort of grassy path. I don’t remember turning around to look behind me, but, I just knew that there was a darkness from which I came, back there.
There were two people there to greet me. A woman and a man, the woman spoke to me first, and the man was a little ways behind her. Today, I could not tell you who these people were. But, when I was there, I was so glad to see them. It was like when I had sent my kids to summer camp, and they were gone for all those summer months, and I missed them terribly. It was the same feeling I got when seeing my children for the first time returning home. I had a deep love and bond with these two people.
The next thing I remember is that I was taken to the top of a mountain. There was no journey to get there, I was just there. The only way to describe the mountain is that it was like standing on top of Pikes Peak and looking out. I was so high up that the only thing I could see was blue sky.