Self-Help
Empowering Life Lessons From My Abusive Father
My father Jim had to grow up quickly in the tough pre-war years. He was the eldest of six children and he did not have an easy childhood, nor tolerant parents.
But life became even more challenging for Jim as he reached adulthood. My parents were married at the age of 21 and had three kids by 23, and another baby at 34.
Jim faced many challenges. As a result, to vent his frustration and process all the stress, he often took it out on those closest to him, namely his wife and children.
Let’s just say my father was not always the ideal husband and parent. It became so bad by the time I was an adult that he would do whatever he could to disrupt my life and my family in any way that you might imagine. The sad part was that he actually wanted to hurt us, as doing so gave him a bizarre sense of satisfaction and control over those closest to him.
I first became fully aware of my father’s desire to disempower his kids when I was about 22 years old. The year was 1982, and jobs were very hard to come by in the United Kingdom in those days. I had an office job but wanted something better. So, I decided to attend school for a year to learn shorthand and typing at the local technical college.
One day, I asked my dad if I could get a ride with him to college, because I had to sit an important exam at 2pm that day. He said I need not worry, as he would drop me off in plenty of time. But then he proceeded to make every excuse not to leave the house!
By quarter to two, I started to panic, as I could not possibly walk or catch a bus from my house to the college with so little time. At ten minutes to two, he finally agreed to take me to sit the exam, but then when we got in the car, he said he needed to go to the garage for gas. I looked at the fuel gauge and saw the car’s tank was full.
I suddenly realized he did not want me to sit the exam, as he did not want me to pass it and better myself and become more independent. Thankfully, his sabotage attempt failed, as I did pass the exam and went on to get a higher paying job.
My Symptoms Of Spiritual Awakening
I often get questions about spiritual awakening. Is it real, and how do you know if you are experiencing it? There are many different lists of ascension symptoms available online, but it is no easy task to know which is more accurate or reliable.
In my opinion Karen Bishop’s list is the best. She wrote that “we all experience our spiritual development in our own unique way. For some of us the changes occur slowly; for others a series of events can trigger sudden growth. We do not all share the same symptoms or changes”. I therefore can’t account for all of the symptoms, but I am going to share some of the experiences I’ve personally had as a psychic. I am not listing these things in any particular order, as I can’t remember what I noticed happening first.
Feeling Disoriented
I had no sense of direction. I found my way around the city, not by knowing which the north end is and which is the south, but because I have gotten lost so many times! Every time I left my house I got lost. I live right off the main street that divides the city. Everything is either North or South. If you are one block north, then the addresses will all be in a certain range, and vice versa. Simple enough. But, by the time I would realize I was going the wrong way, I would turn off, turn around and proceed in the opposite direction. Only to find out that I have continued on in still the wrong direction. I think my record was four times in a row!
Unusual Aches And Pains
I experienced physical discomforts that for us women are often simply chalked up as ‘menstrual’. The pains were usually in the lower back and neck area. For me, it felt as though someone is pushing on my head so hard they are compressing my neck.
Leave Some Space For Grace
When I read energy, it is shown to me in terms of the strength of that energy. In other words, the strength of the energy is directly tied to its manifestation here in the physical realm. As above, so below.
When we are angry or in conflict, we are often heavily invested in simply being right. And the more the argument evolves… the more virulent the energy becomes. This is never a hopeful, healthy precursor to manifesting better things in our life.
Fortunately, there is the powerful spiritual and emotional energy that love and forgiveness can also manifest in our lives, to counteract the impact of negative emotional energies.
A sister to the energies of love and forgiveness that is not always afforded equal honor, bit is equally powerful is the gift of grace. You may have heard of ‘grace under pressure?’ Essayist William Hazlitt defines grace as “the outward expression of the inward harmony of the soul.”
So, what is grace? Webster’s Dictionary defines grace as both a noun and a verb. Noun: unmerited favor, kindness undeserved. Verb: to confer dignity or honor on, or to add beauty to.
Grace is the ‘breath’ we take between anger and forgiveness. It is a choice to be silent, hold our tongue, and open the door for peace to enter into a challenging situation.
Angels naturally possess infinite grace, and many times the angels I work with have to remind me to hold my tongue, think before I speak, and simply be silent and listen to the person I am angry with. Being heard even if we are not understood is very validating. It says to the other person, “you are important to me, what you are feeling and thinking matters to me”. What you give you will receive.
Nagging Thoughts Are Life Lessons
Sometimes I do it too – we all do it. We sit there and rehash stuff in our minds…over and over. We beat ourselves up and say things like, “If only I would have done this”, or “If only I had not said that”.
This kind of thinking really is a waste of time. It can be very draining to sit and analyze things gone by and worry about the past.
Of course, it is certainly better to move with some discernment and caution, while we are going about our day, so we don’t make unnecessary mistakes or fall victim to this kind of regretful thinking later. But it is also important to know that no one is perfect.
Some go about their days not caring what they do or say, and neither do they ever feel the need to do this kind of obsessive thinking about the past. But the majority of us sometimes wonder if we could have done things differently, or feel the need to hold ourselves accountable for every thought, word, action and deed – and that is why we tend to go over things, time and time again.
When you find yourself engaging in this kind of thinking, just stop doing it. Thoughts that just replay events over and over again in your mind is such a waste of energy. Instead consider for a minute how the relevant events are actually a wonderful learning experience.
Those thoughts are there, bugging you, as an opportunity for growth. Ask yourself what you will do or say differently next time, and then you can go about the rest of your day with inner peace and comfort, knowing you that you have gained valuable new knowledge from the experience, and now you can turn it into wisdom for the future. People who learn from themselves and their actions can truly smile, knowing that they can ‘cruise’ along this cosmic wave called life at a higher altitude and higher level of thinking.
Astrology Forecast April 4 – 10, 2022
Today’s Taurus Moon can go either way. It could instill a sense of peace and contentment, no matter what is going on around us, or it can lead us down a rabbit hole of frustration, conflict and drama. Starting the day off with a centered, calm and focused approach will be the key to a peaceful, happier Monday.
First of all, be careful to not pick a fight with your beloved this morning under the Taurus Moon square Mars in Aquarius, followed by a square with Saturn in Aquarius, as these two squares can cause a small disagreement or argument to escalate easily and quickly to full-blown drama and conflict – which is not the best way to start the new week!
By the time we get to the office today, the Mars in Aquarius conjunction with Saturn in Aquarius may be causing some frustration with its clash of total opposites. The driven impatience of Mars does not sit well with the measured, controlled timing of Saturn. If you are the impulsive, hasty type it may be best for you to count to ten…or even take a walk around the block to calm and center yourself.
Venus, the planet that rules Taurus as well as Libra, will move into the spiritually-focused sign of Pisces tomorrow, taking us on a journey to explore our truest passions and desires over the next four weeks. We will generally be more loving, kind and compassionate in the coming weeks.
Wednesday’s Gemini Moon promotes romance as well as partnerships of all kinds, as we long to communicate our deepest thoughts and feelings to others.
The rest of the week unfolds under a Cancer Moon through Saturday, drawing us to daydream, fantasize and imagine our futures from the comfort of our armchairs, exploring the possibilities that lie ahead.
The Moon will dance into Leo on Sunday, and combined with Mercury’s move into Taurus, inspire us to take action on those creative ideas we’ve been having. Mercury, ruler of Gemini and Virgo, is famous for taking our thoughts to the next level when it travels through the sign of Taurus, which it will for the next two and a half weeks.
Keeping The Family Out Of Your Love Life
Family and our relatives have a huge impact on our romantic lives, whether we realize it or not. We bring so much from the way we were raised into our love relationships and marriages.
But having had a difficult childhood does not necessarily set us up for challenges and failure in our relationships. In fact, for those who are self-aware it can be an advantage of choosing not to bring the toxic drama of your childhood home into a current relationship.
For example, if you saw your father treat your mother without respect, you might set your mind to never allowing that happen in your own relationship. This kind of courage and personal responsibility can break the cycle.
We all have things that happen in childhood things that happen that are out of our control, it is all in how you deal with them that forms us as adults. We have a choice always.
The other aspect is culture and the values and customs with which we were raised. Depending on the circumstances it can have a significant impact on our relationships. Once again it is a choice how we want to handle it. Do we follow the family traditions, or not?
It takes courage and an open mind to march to your own drum. Standing up for what you believe can also go a long way. Sometimes this is vital to ensure a healthy, happy relationship that will last.
Of course, the biggest challenge for most couples is having the family up in your relationship business. Do your relatives influence your decisions and interfere in your relationship? Navigating a relationship or marriage successfully in this day and age is challenging enough.
Successful Relationships Begin With Self-Love
How do you ensure your relationship will work long-term? Many callers ask me this question almost every day. In my experience, there needs to be a balance of love, caring, respect and truth for any relationship to last. If you do not have these components in a relationship, more than likely it will not work out. If a relationship is out of balance, then it usually is too one-sided and not serving your highest good.
The key first step is to love and respect yourself, because when you love and respect yourself, you will also receive more love and respect from others. There is not much of a future for any relationship that is based on the self-sacrifice of one party. It never lasts and typically does not end well. Balance is required in matters of the heart.
Along with the respect you deserve in the way you are treated. it is loving, caring, and respectful? This is applicable to everyone in your life, including romantic partners, friends, co-workers, family, and relatives.
Respect is not only something we must demand, but we must also set boundaries for it in our daily life. When a boundary is repeatedly disregarded or violated by someone in your life, then something needs to change. This is when you have to say, enough.
Sometimes the hard decisions need to be made. If someone is not respecting you in your relationship, treating you poorly, and not meeting your most essential wants and needs, then it is time to make a change. Respect yourself enough to end it.
Too many people do not believe they deserve love and respect, for various reasons. The problem often begins in childhood. It is important to realize you do and to start loving yourself a little more – not in an egotistical way, but in a way that you love and respect yourself enough to want only the best for you and to no longer settle for anything less.