Afterlife
The Life Calling Of The Death Doula
The first time I heard of a doula, I had no idea what it meant. I soon discovered that it is a person trained to provide guidance, emotional support, and physical comfort to a mother before, during, and after childbirth.
But little did I know at the time that a doula can also be someone who is of service to dying. So, a doula may assist us coming into the physical world, as well as leave the physical world. What a wonderful profession to be called to assist in the miracles of birth and death.
As a psychic medium, talking to loved ones who have crossed over, I have come to understand that some people definitely prefer to be alone at the time of death. My own dad was such a person. He made it clear to us this was his dying wish.
Several people kept vigil at his bedside for three weeks, but the moment we all were away to change clothes or eat, was his opportunity to ‘check out.’ As in life so be it in death, my dad was a very private person.
His hospice room was right across from the elevator. When my mother and I stepped off the elevator, I heard my dad take his last breath and I sensed and felt his spirit exit the building. But I also know he was not ‘alone,’ because his loved ones, guides and angels came to greet him.
So, how does an end-of-life doula help with this process? A doula is there to help the family as much as the person passing. It is my belief that it is a deep honor to be present at a birth or a death. I have had the privilege to be present at all three of my granddaughter’s births. I have also been present at several deaths.
Both are times when emotions are running very high. At a birth everyone is anxious until they hear baby’s first cry. They are on edge waiting to hear baby and mother are both fine. A doula can help explain what is going on and answer questions about the birth process.
We Choose How We Wish To Cross Over
Death and crossing over is a unique process for each individual. At the time of passing, the soul may leave the body in a variety of ways. Sometimes the soul will even leave before the body fully ‘shuts down,’ eager to transition to the bliss, peace and harmony that awaits on the other side. And sometimes the human ego is not ready to embrace the transition and resists the departure. When we do not want to leave our physical body, we cause ourselves more anxiety and frustration and simply make it harder for our soul to pass into spirit. But there is no reason to resist or fear our passing. I know this for personal experience.
Some of us will also choose to pass quietly into spirit, when our loved ones are not around. My husband chose to pass this way, as I was not in the room when he secretly went. He wanted to spare me the trauma of that decisive moment and did not want me to suffer his loss any more than I needed to.
So, he went quietly to God, and I know that he is in the most beautiful place now that one could ever imagine. I know this because I have seen it myself in a near-death experience, but it wasn’t my time to go back then, and therefore I chose to come back.
But what I saw, I will never forget. Imagine a perfectly beautiful spring day, the sun shining so warmly on the most beautiful flowers that you have ever seen. We also return to spirit in a younger state, with no more aches and pains, and we always return home at the age we feel the best. Seeing my departed loved ones again was so amazing and surreal, but as much as I wanted to stay with them, I knew I had to come back to my loved ones here.
Bittersweet Is The Fall
Bittersweet is the fall in Maine. Literally. We have a vine here known as the ‘asiatic bittersweet’ (celastrus orbiculatus) that produces attractive red berries. They are yellow at first, but as they mature the outer shell cracks open to expose a magnificent crimson berry with a yellow coat.
Crafters here in New England traditionally use this vine to make holiday wreaths and decorate their homes. It also adorns the roads of Maine with the combination of fall leaves and green of pine trees.
But the bittersweet vine does its name justice in both sweet beauty and bitterness, life and death, because it is not only adored for its versatility as autumn décor this time of year, but it is also widespread, severely invasive and destructive. It suffocatingly twines high up around trees and sprawls over lower plants and vegetation.
It is not a native plant to the region and was originally brought here as an ornamental plant. As the vine begins to spread and grow to the top of trees it becomes the vine of death for the tree as it covers it completely. A bitter vine.
The fall is indeed a bittersweet time of the year. The natural cycle of life and death. The bittersweet time of year is the time to harvest food for the long winter ahead. Get our homes ready for the snow, darkness, and ice of winter.
In Maine the old timers say ‘button up the house’ for winter. The sweet part is people are thinking of the holidays ahead and gatherings with family and friends. There are traditional recipes. Who will make the best pie? Everyone has a favorite. Whose gravy is the most delicious? It’s a time of gratitude for everything that is good in life.
Cleansing Unwanted Spirit Energies In Your Home
Benevolent spirit energies are everywhere. Whether it be a loved one who has crossed over, or your spirit guides and angels. Spirit is simply around in every moment of our daily lives. However, there are also earthbound spirits who have passed, but not yet crossed over. They have unfinished business in this world, or they have difficulty leaving the people and physical spaces that they had a connection to in this life.
These restless, earthbound spirit energies can wreak havoc in our homes and families. When I was a child, I had horrible nightmares. While we only lived on the main floor in my childhood home, I was fine. However, after my father had built the upper level of the house and I was moved into my pretty, girly bedroom, the nightmares began.
I never felt comfortable or secure in my new bedroom. Also, whenever I had to go into the basement, I would have to run down and back up, because of the ominous, icy cold feeling I would experience through my entire body. The rest of the house however was never an issue.
I later inherited this house, after both my parents had passed. I did not really want to own it, because even as an adult that same feeling in the upstairs and the basement was still haunting me, while the main floor felt warm and comforting. I refused to go there alone at night, and rarely alone even in the daytime. It was confusing and frustrating to say the least.
Then I learned how to sage and energy cleanse a home properly. My method involves white sage and a small white candle. I go into each room of a house, starting at the furthest room from the door and smudge each corner of the room. I slowly cleanse each corner and ask all unwelcome spirit entities present to follow the light of the candle as we progress through the house, room by room, towards the outside door.
Things That Go Bump in the Night
I have never been one to base my beliefs on popular opinion, rumors, or superstition. My beliefs regarding the supernatural or paranormal come solely from my personal experiences, as well the trustworthy accounts of my immediate family. So, if I tell you there are indeed ‘things that go bump in the night,’ you can be sure that I am speaking of personal experience.
When I was a little girl, for example, my father was the first person to bring the supernatural to my attention with a story of his own paranormal experience back in 1946. His story was the first to whet my appetite for investigating the paranormal and the mystical.
The Second World War had just ended, and my dad was only 20 years old at the time. The United Kingdom was still recovering from the horrendous aftermath. As a result, people were seldom out and about after dark. In fact, from what my father told me, there was not much socializing in those days and at night the streets were mostly deserted.
One night, after my dad had walked my mom (his future wife) back to her house, he decided to take a shortcut to his grandmother’s place, where he was living at the time. It was around 11pm and the short route took him past the graveyard on a street called Columbus Ravine. It was here that he saw the strange sight of a lady walking up the road in what appeared to be a Victorian costume.
“That is odd,” he thought. “A woman out alone at this time of night and dressed like that? Maybe she attended a fancy-dress party?”
He did not want to alarm her. After all, she was all by herself, it was dark out, and there was no one else around. To put her mind at ease, he therefore thought it polite to greet her.
Throwing The Bones
Before studying various Western disciplines of healing and divination, I trained to become a sangoma some 30 years ago, on the borders of Mozambique and Kwazulu-Natal in Southern Africa, where I learned among other things the divination method known as ‘throwing the bones.’
A ‘sangoma’ casting the bones is the African equivalent of the Native American shaman, the Old Norse rune reader, or the European Tarot reader. To uninformed Westerners, indigenous African methods of divination are often thought of as ‘witchcraft,’ but just like there is good and bad in all cultures and professions, the true calling of the African diviner or shaman is a spiritual one of seeking advice through the wise ancestors. In the same way modern Western diviners rely on spirit guides, angels or the ascended masters for divine guidance, so the African diviner relies upon the ancestors.
My training came about after I consulted another sangoma and was told it was my calling to become sangoma myself. She also cautioned me that until I took up this calling, I would repetitively become ill – and how right she was!
Eventually I heeded the ‘calling’, as unusual as it was at the time for a young English woman to enter the mysterious realm of African mysticism in the country in those days. Training was harsh and intense with my mentor and included coaching in various disciplines, such as divination, dream interpretation, ritual, indigenous medicines, and herbalism over a two and a half year period.
One of the divination methods I was taught is known as ‘throwing the bones’. Since the beginning of recorded history the notion of throwing tokens, casting the dice or drawing lots to interpret the divine will of spirit and the ancestors has been viewed as symbolically linking the diviner to his or her mission. Casting or throwing the bones is an ancient practice native to many regions of the world, including Africa, Asia, and North America. In Southern Africa it is a long-standing ritual among the sangomas of the Zulu, Swazi, Xhosa and Ndebele tribes.
Each bone or token used for casting is part of a kit the sangoma carefully selects with the guidance of spirit, initially with the help of a mentor. Spirit and the ancestors instruct the seeker as to the symbolism and meaning of each sacred item in the collection, and precisely shows the student where to find it and which one to use in a divination. In Southern Africa, a mentor assists the thwasa (trainee sangoma) in the process of learning to receive information from the bones, and in reading the patterns in which the bones are likely to fall.
The Special Magic Of Autumn
I’ve often wondered if in a former lifetime I might have had a birthday in the fall? More specifically, I sense it must have been in the month of September, because I typically experience increased awareness and great change during this month.
Being a Gemini, born in June, this makes absolutely no sense, but I don’t always pay attention to what makes sense. I rather go with what feels right.
I feel a special magic in the air in the fall that I do not experience in any other season. In the autumn the world of the living seems to move closer to the afterlife and our deceased loved ones.
Traditionally All Hallows’ Eve on October 31st is believed to be time when the veil between the two worlds is most thin and we can more easily connect with our departed loved ones on the Other Side.
In the Northern Hemisphere September is the time of year when Mother Nature is shedding her leaves as the cooler air moves. Might this also be a time for us to let go of the aspects of our lives that no longer serve us? And could it be that our deceased loved ones in Heaven support and help to facilitate this need for us to surrender and let go?
The energy of September is an in-between state of transition that will ultimately spark us into new beginnings. But sometimes we need a little bit of extra magic, as it takes much courage to let go of the old and familiar to step onto a new path.
Our family and friends in Heaven want to see us progress and grow while in the Earth realm. Our loved ones who have crossed over to the Other Side can see forward and backward in time. They have the ability to open doors for us who are still in this life.