highly sensitive person
Dealing With A Narcissistic Partner
We all know at least one narcissist. It’s that toxic person in your life who seems charming and likable at first, but is actually extremely self-centered, has an inflated ego, shows no empathy or remorse, and can even become abusive. But what if that person is your partner, or someone you love?
Narcissists want to control. They want others to see them as important, superior and in charge. To a narcissist, someone who suffers from compromised self-esteem, is easy prey, which is why many people who have a narcissistic partner find it difficult to break it off.
Abuse is not always physical. It also takes the form of verbal insults, emotional manipulation or gaslighting, withholding affection, and unequal sharing of duties. All of these forms of abuse feed into a narcissist’s egotism. Narcissists typically try to rope their partners into joining into these negative, harmful relationship patterns.
So, what do you do when you find yourself attached to an abusive narcissist? At first, it’s easy to try and explain away their abusive behavior by citing times when they shows affection, brought gifts, or offered kindness and emotional support. They are good at pretending, but don’t be fooled.
Setting up healthy and definitive boundaries is the first and best defense. Know that you have the right to say no at any time! Falling for gaslighting, emotional manipulation and blackmail is an easy trap, and most narcissists are masters at these psychological games. If you’re unsure of yourself, role-play with a trusted friend or counselor, or read up on the subject. Like most difficult things in life, it takes practice.
Smudging Your Home To Clear Negative Energy
It’s a good idea to cleanse the energy in your home once a week, in my opinion. I do this with smudging, going around the perimeters of my house asking the powers that be to bless and protect my home and those who dwell in it. It helps to keep negativity and toxic energy out.
Smudging is an ancient shamanic practice and a ceremony practiced by Indigenous peoples of the Americas, which involves the burning of sacred herbs and resins. The smoke is believed to neutralize negative energy – as it clears it takes the unwanted, toxic energy with it, releasing it into another realm where it can be regenerated into positive energy.
I have also attended Catholic church ceremonies several times in my lifetime. They always start with incense at the beginning of a service. I like to describe it as ‘cleaning the negativity and toxic cobwebs’ that have accumulated. Yes, homes collect all kinds of energy over time, just like dust on a lampshade. And it needs to be cleaned! Every home benefits from a frequent smudging.
I especially like to always smudge after any negative encounter that may have taken place in my space – literally anything negative, be it the presence of an actual person, a bad dream, or telephonic argument with a loved one, I like to clear out that energy, as it makes my home brighter and lighter. As a highly sensitive empath, I just love the feeling of fresh, peaceful energy in my home.
On smudging days, I first dust my home and clean it, always with the windows wide open. Then I smudge myself, before smudging my home. I cleanse my own aura from my feet up, then go back down in a swirling motion all around my entire body. I use both hands when doing this, to evenly move the smudging stick around me. I visualize my aura being cleansed completely.
Extend Yourself The Grace Of Forgiveness
If you are an empath you may believe that forgiveness should be easy for you, or at least easier than it is for others. But I’ve spoken to many empaths and highly sensitive people over the years who all struggle with forgiveness.
One of the main issues with forgiveness for the empath is that we feel another’s emotions intensely, literally as our own. This muddies the waters considerably, because it tends to blur boundaries. Blurred boundaries can often lead to a closed mouth for an empath. Why? Because it is difficult for us, especially in childhood or in romantic relationships, to know where we end and another begins.
It is easy for others to manipulate appropriate boundaries with an empath, or to erase them altogether. All the empath knows is that there is pain, sadness, a sense of frustration, or anger. If you are an empath, then the question becomes are you angry with them, or yourself? Should you have been able to foresee the catastrophe happening, the relationship ending, job imploding, and so on. This leads to self-doubt and the rehashing of incidents that occurred years ago…with no resolution.
In the meantime, every time an empath thinks about the situation, past or present, we feel it…and the cycle continues.
Yes, you are empathic, intuitive, even psychic, but that does not make you immune to being human, neither does it make you all-knowing or all-seeing, especially when it comes to your own life, childhood or relationships.
Humor – A Message From My Guides
We encourage everyone to remember the expression, “Laughter is the best medicine.”
Gossip and rumors abound. People overreact to perceived slights and unintended insults. Hair-trigger tempers flare and social media platforms expose issues for all to see. Friends interject their opinions without all the facts. Disagreements become exacerbated in the resulting spotlight. Politics can be polarizing. Stress levels are through the roof. Road rage is no longer an isolated incident. You can feel surrounded by potential conversational landmines.
At times like this, it is important to step back, take a breath and take a break. Come back to the issue with fresh eyes and determine whether it is truly worthy of consideration and comment, or whether it is a tempest in a teapot that will pass on its own. If necessary, deal with the issue using logic and forethought, rather than high emotion.
In times of stress, seeing the lighthearted side of anything can seem difficult, if not altogether impossible. However, there are some ways that you can soften the impact.
If you can come to terms with the idea of worrying only about those things you can really control and take the necessary action to control them, it will make it much easier to compartmentalize and to choose where to focus your thoughts and resources.
Star Children
Star children are very old souls who have returned to this planet to assist humanity during these challenging times. They are spiritually evolved and therefore wise beyond their years. Star Children is the umbrella term used to describe Indigo, Crystal and Rainbow children, as well as adults. Star Children are also known as ‘Starseeds’ or the ‘New Children.’
Star children are typically able to communicate with loved ones on the Other Side, and they are constantly in communication with their spirit guides. They can often be heard talking to someone ‘invisible’ while they are playing alone in their crib or room.
They often remember past lives and speak openly about them. Most star children have also lived in other dimensions or realms of existence. They may have left Earth’s reincarnation cycle for a long time and have now returned to help save this planet.
Star children are unusually compassionate. They are very connected to animals and Mother Nature. They become especially upset about anything mankind does that is harmful to the planet. They have a deep connection, perhaps even an obsession with animals. They are usually empaths and highly sensitive, and they should be allowed to express their emotions freely, and as much as they wish.
They are usually not competitive, as they have a view of unity and oneness and have evolved beyond rivalry and competition. They are generous and tend not to be interested in material possessions.
Empath Recovery From A Relationship With A Narcissist
I wrote a previous article about the phenomenon of empaths having a dangerous attraction to, and engaging in toxic relationships with narcissists. I have since been asked how the empath can more easily break away from such a relationship with a narcissist.
I am sorry to have to say, in my experience there is no surefire way to effortlessly sever such a connection. At least none that I am aware of. The connection between these two seemingly opposing forces is indeed a complicated one, since each of them serves the other with complimentary personality traits. Ending the connection is usually traumatic and detrimental to the empath.
Empaths seem to dive head first into ‘soul sucking.’ They are instinctively drawn to emotionally and mentally toxic relationships with narcissistic partners. It is the nature of the empath to try and heal those who are emotionally, mentally and even physically wounded. And too often the empath will commit almost unconditionally to this task.
The narcissist, however, lacks the ability to empathize with others and acts on their own selfish feelings of grandiosity and self-inflated ego. They serve only themselves and their need for attention and adoration. Their loyalty only lies where it is most beneficial to them. They are therefore capable of tremendous levels of deceit and manipulation. They will abuse the empath both mentally or physically to gain control over nearly every aspect of the empath’s life. They make the entire relationship solely about themselves and their needs.
Sacred Space
Have you noticed that a certain physical space can influence how we feel? How can a room affect us in this way? Well it’s all about energy. When you walk into a room and people have had a fight there, or received some awful news that may have caused great sadness, we tend to pick up on the energy. We often sense it, without really knowing why we are suddenly feeling angry, sad, or drained.
One of the scripts that I use with hypnotherapy clients is to visualize your own sacred space and then picture yourself inside that space. Just thinking about such a space, where you feel safe, happy and calm, can help to relieve anxious feelings for most people.
There are also just some spaces that seem to promote a sense of belonging and trust that everything is okay. For some people their sacred space may be a certain place in their home, while for others it is simply outside in nature. It doesn’t really matter where your sacred space is, as long as you feel good inside it.