emotions
Self-Care Is Not Selfish
Empaths are givers first and foremost. Loyal, sometimes to a fault, and fiercely protective of those they care about… moving at lightning speed whenever called upon.
So, when I say to an empath that it may be time to put themselves first, the response is often mixed. But, if putting yourself first seems too selfish or too difficult, try something simpler: at least put yourself on an equal footing with those you love and care for.
For many sensitive and highly intuitive people, self-care must be an acquired behavior… and it’s a big one. Empaths intend to be selfless, to help, heal and facilitate those they care about. Wonderful! But remember, if this is your goal, then begin with yourself. The stronger, healthier and happier you are then the more effective, nurturing and supportive you can be to those around you.
Putting yourself first doesn’t mean that you are doing only what you want to do all the time, and it doesn’t mean that you are suddenly going to ignore those you care about. What it does mean is making it a priority to take care of your own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs. This can be a tall order and quite the task for some empaths. Don’t wait until you are in a meltdown… frustrated and snapping at everything and everyone around you, with little or no provocation.
Finding Inner Peace
Internal peace sometimes eludes many of us. We have busy lives, moving at a fast pace. Some days it feels like we cannot even gather our thoughts in the midst of our obligations. I am sure you already know that you should take some time to relax, and find moments for yourself. You should definitely do this. Having leisure time is important for a healthy life, as much as good diet and exercise.
But this article aims at those times in which the tide is high, and there is no real time to fully stop… at least no more than for a few minutes. What to do in such circumstances? These are a few simple tested ideas that people use in sports, acting, and even public speaking, to improve both their ease and their performance.
Breathing
Stay with your breathing. Stop paying attention to your thoughts and just focus on your breath. Do not try to control or slow it down, just feel it coming in and out. If you can, become especially aware of the moment when it changes from inspiration to expiration, and vice versa. This will bring a feeling of openness and clarity.
Visualization
Sit for a moment and visualize a white light in your heart. See this light grow with each breath, until you are inside a white light bubble. Now this is the important part: allow your body, your whole body, to dissolve in this white light for just a minute or two. After that allow the white light to recede into your heart. This releases a lot of tension from the body and clears the mind.
Humor – A Message From My Guides
We encourage everyone to remember the expression, “Laughter is the best medicine.”
Gossip and rumors abound. People overreact to perceived slights and unintended insults. Hair-trigger tempers flare and social media platforms expose issues for all to see. Friends interject their opinions without all the facts. Disagreements become exacerbated in the resulting spotlight. Politics can be polarizing. Stress levels are through the roof. Road rage is no longer an isolated incident. You can feel surrounded by potential conversational landmines.
At times like this, it is important to step back, take a breath and take a break. Come back to the issue with fresh eyes and determine whether it is truly worthy of consideration and comment, or whether it is a tempest in a teapot that will pass on its own. If necessary, deal with the issue using logic and forethought, rather than high emotion.
In times of stress, seeing the lighthearted side of anything can seem difficult, if not altogether impossible. However, there are some ways that you can soften the impact.
If you can come to terms with the idea of worrying only about those things you can really control and take the necessary action to control them, it will make it much easier to compartmentalize and to choose where to focus your thoughts and resources.
Be Mindful Of Your Words And Thoughts
It is important to consider one’s ‘vibes’ and intentions, because is an essential aspect of understanding intuition, manifesting, destiny and predicting the future. The momentum of any person’s life is consistent with the vibrations they are putting out into the Universe. So, when an intuitive or psychic is looking at your situation, it is often based not only on your existing vibration, but often Spirit will also reveal a potential that could shift the vibe within a situation or change the future outcome.
Psychics, intuitives and diviners do not create your future, but they can explore and reveal the potential and energy within a situation, in order to predict the likelihood and probability of potential outcomes. Although it does not happen very frequently, I sometimes have clients approach predictions during a reading with a cynical mentality of ‘it will never happen.’ And, I have also heard Spirit respond very bluntly to such skeptical clients: “Then it won’t.”
The mind matters when it comes to our lives and situations. I don’t believe that Spirit deals in false hope, but I do know from experience that the mind is the catalyst for our experiences. Therefore, vibes are important. Our vibes show us what we are actively engaging in and what we can expect for the future. At times it can even be best to stop, or satiate the more challenging vibes we have to a situation, by disconnecting from the story of the situation entirely.
Slow And Steady Is The Best Path To Lasting Love
In today’s superficial world of online dating, hookup apps and sexual promiscuity, it’s has become a daunting challenge to find a suitable partner who is genuinely ready for long-term commitment and relationship monogamy.
Also, in the dating scene, people typically wear masks, especially during the initial introduction. Everyone wants to give a good first impression and rarely want to discuss their truth, or past traumas. Dates also like to exaggerate or omit information, to make themselves sound more important or successful than they really are.
A few weeks into a new relationship is usually when the cracks start to show and the truth begins to float to the surface. For example, he comes from a good family and appears to be successful on paper, but he is emotionally fragile, or verbally abusive and narcissistic in relationships. Or, he claims he is totally single when you first meet him, but there’s actually someone else in his life and they’re not breaking that up anytime soon, because they have money invested together or are married.
We too often get so caught up in the fuzzy feeling and fantasy of a person possibly being ‘the one,’ that we forget to question if they are in alignment with what we truly need to add value to our life. Always listen to what a date is telling you, without sugar-coating it for yourself.
Through The Looking Glass
We tend to not see ourselves accurately. We too often choose to focus on our shortcomings and weaknesses, such as we perceive them to be. And I believe we are all guilty of this. I have not in all my years met anyone who was truly satisfied with themselves – until it was sometimes too late.
I was just as guilty of this as anyone else. My childhood was one that I wouldn’t have wished on my worst enemy. I was abandoned by both parents when I was very young. I was raised by an aunt and uncle, who took pleasure in reminding me that my parents did not love me. My aunt also took every opportunity to beat the daylights out of me, while my uncle did nothing.
When I hit puberty, several older males in my ‘family’ began to stalk and harass me. I’d go into the kitchen and soon find myself backed up against a wall. Nobody believed me. Nobody did anything to stop it – not even when I was raped at 16 by a family friend’s son, who was deemed to be a “good boy” and “would never do anything like that.”
I could go on and on about all the horrible things that happened to me, but once I turned that momentous age of 16, and having had the experiences that I have had, I left my aunt and uncle’s home. I went to live with my boyfriend, his sister and their mom. When I left, my uncle dumped all my clothes on the front lawn.