emotions
Aromatherapy For Stress Relief
I have been using essential oils for many years. In the 1990s, I made it a point to study them and become certified. At that time aromatherapy was already very popular in Europe, where it was seen as a viable adjunct therapy. Science has gained more insight on the impact of scent on the brain, our emotions and our well-being.
Stress originates from the limbic system, and our sense of smell is the only one that is linked to this part of the brain. Before we might even become aware of the effects an essential oil or fragrance may have on us, the molecules from the essential oils we smell are already at work on our limbic lobe.
Successful real estate agents know the power of smell, and often suggest you bake some chocolate chip cookies, or brew some fresh coffee before an open house, or simply simmer cloves, cinnamon, and orange peels in a small pot of boiling water, to evoke a homey, welcoming smell.
Scents also trigger memories. A scent from your childhood, that created a warm, secure, peaceful feeling, is something you might want to re-create with essential oils.
When the mind relaxes, the body follows. We all experience stress at times, and although essential oils cannot magically make a situation disappear, one may benefit from the relaxation effects that aromatherapy offers.
To Fester, Or Forgive
Recently, a peer did a short talk on forgiveness, as part of a healing service. Besides her being courageous, sharing aspects of her personal challenges with parents and peers, she also offered a reminder of how instrumental forgiving ourselves is in our healing journey.
The reptilian, primitive part of the brain has a default state of always monitoring its environment. The hunter-gatherer ancestral days had us on constant alert. Anxious. Awaiting possible threat by the saber-tooth tiger. But our modern brain has evolved such, that when we are not active in a task, the brain occupies itself with dwelling on the past.
The idle brain tends to ponder past events and unpleasant thoughts, that in the default state, fill us with anxiety. Pain. Guilt. Self-blame. Shame. Anger. Disappointment.
The typical memories and thoughts, that can consume us in this default state, vary. Some are large and life-changing, such as the loss of a loved one or favorite pet, financial loss, divorce, adultery, retrenchment, and physical or emotional abuse. Others are more behavioral or emotional, but can be just as debilitating.
When our life is ‘heading south’ and we cannot seem to turn things around, we tend to replay the situation. This can lead to becoming more depressed, and having more reason to doubt ourselves. A vicious cycle can result. We spin and spin…like laundry in the dryer, being tumbled. If we remain in that dryer, resentment sets in.
Charity Begins At Home
My mother always said, “Charity begins at home.” But what exactly is this supposed to mean?
The first thing we might do is attempt to identify what a ‘home’ is and what it means to us. You could own a mansion, live in a studio apartment, or reside in a mobile home. No matter where we live, home is typically where we make ourselves comfortable, cook our meals, watch TV, care for our children, and rest after a long day at work. It is that safe, comfy place that we create for ourselves, based on our values and beliefs about who we are and what we hope to accomplish.
However, there is a different kind of home that each of us dwells in, that is also based on our sense of self, what belief systems we hold, and what we think we can accomplish for ourselves. This is our ‘inner home.’
In our ‘outer home’ we may have a big screen TV, state of the appliances and designer furniture. We are often so amazingly proud of ourselves, that we were able to accumulate all these luxury items that the world outside has convinced us we must have.
But then one day, we come home from work and discover someone has broken in and stolen all our expensive accumulations. What a disaster! Fortunately, these material things can easily be replaced.
Give Your Nervous System A Break
Given the fast pace of today’s world, the expectations of others, as well as the pressure we place on ourselves, giving our nervous system a break, and understanding the ways to support and strengthen this system, is physically, emotionally and spiritually important.
Stress is something we all experience – some more than others. Those of us who are empathic, psychic, or highly sensitive, can experience stress more intensely with more profound consequences.
The stress that empaths, psychics and sensitives experience may be tied to that of another person, or situation, as well as their own stress. This ability to experience the emotions, thoughts and feelings of others can create a rebound effect of high stress.
Racing heart, anxiety, quickening of breathing, tensing of muscles, sweating, feeling faint or nauseous, are all signs of a nervous system in flight mode. Add in the compounded impact of experiencing this in another person, on top of yourself, and your nervous system is off and running, literally.
The body’s ‘fight or flight response’ is controlled by the sympathetic nervous system, which is one part of the autonomic nervous system. The other part is the parasympathetic nervous system, which works to relax and slow down the body’s response.
The sympathetic system acts like an accelerator, to ‘rev up’ our body and make us run, to remove us from danger. The parasympathetic system acts like the ‘brake,’ slowing us down when danger isn’t present.
New Day, New Year, New Vision
New Year’s Day is the perfect opportunity to reboot your life and redesign your future. What haven’t you manifested that is important to you? What tugs at your dreams moving forward? Today would be a good time to do something about it and change your life for the better.
However, if you only come across this later in the year, fear not. Any day can be the first day of a brand new year for you. It does not have to be January 1st. Your New Year’s Day can be whenever you choose it to be. Today, is a new day, just as tomorrow will be, and so forth. Choose any new day for you to start living your life. Whenever you are ready, declare what is in your soul and change the direction of your life.
To get started, the best counsel I can give you is to buy yourself a nice journal or notebook, a glue stick, a comfortable pen and, if it pleases your soul, some positive affirmation stickers. This is how you start your new year. And again, it does not have to be January 1st.
As you go about your daily life, take note of things that make you smile – whether it be a picture, a saying, something kind that you saw someone do, or something selfless that you did for someone else. Journal about it . Write about how it made you feel in that moment. Let these feelings come to the surface of your life and allow them to grow.
You will begin to notice, over time, that the more positive instances you write about, they more frequently similar experiences will come into your life. It does not happen overnight, so don’t sit there the next day and think, “Well, I wrote about seeing someone buy a homeless person a coffee and it made me feel good, but nothing good happened to me.” This process takes time. You are working on your inner being to simply be more accepting and positive as you walk your daily path.
Love Is All You Need
A popular Beatles song was written circa 1967 by John Lennon, as part of the anti-war movement, with a very simplistic set of lyrics about love. “Love is all you need,” proclaims the song. Simple, yet often so elusive to so many of us.
Love is also a “many-splendored thing,” according to the Andy Williams classic. Yet, it is also complex set of emotions, beliefs, and behaviors that we have learned. Either through witnessing, training and personal experiences, which loop back into our behaviors. It is a dynamic process. These beliefs and emotions are then ‘translated’ into feelings. Feelings of attachment, affection, trust, respect, and commitment.
Love is also a topic of discussion, research and vital part of life dating back through all time. Throughout human history priests, philosophers, poets, artists, musicians, and scientists have all contemplated the mysteries and meaning of love.
And love is more than just a feeling between two people. We can have a love for country, nature, freedom, animals, opera music, or cold beer! And anything else that resonates with our heart.
The challenge for many of us in life is the rollercoaster of chasing love. As humans, we seek companionship, community, a sense of purpose. We seek to love and be loved. And we take many actions and steps towards our own definition of love. Yet, it is a dynamic, elusive, ever-changing target – one influenced and even manipulated by the many facets of human desire and emotions. Also, the sometimes harsh realities of life may take away that which we loved so much.
Cultivating Divine Patience
During difficult times it can be challenging to quickly change our circumstances, or get out of the eye of storm, because there is often a full plate of responsibilities to already deal with, like work, children and also self-care.
By learning to surrender some of worry and control to a higher power, you can begin to find inner harmony and cultivate divine patience which means you allow things to unfold in their own time.
Too often we want immediate gratification and answers right away, which can create added stress and anxiety in our interactions with others, since our focus is on the results instead of the process.
We forget that many times the answers are already within and all we have to do to access it, is to listen and become more receptive to what our inner voice is really trying to tell us.
The best way to tune into this is by elevating the environment you’re in by removing any negative influences or distractions that are causing imbalance. Even the act of cleaning or reorganizing a section can begin to shift our perspective, and create a sacred space for healing.
Afterwards, you can begin to get centered, quiet the mind and ask the spiritual realm what it wants you to know about your circumstances, so you can take the best course of action.