communication
Small Gestures Of Kindness In A Time Of Cruelty
People are feeling anxious and uncertain with what has been happening in the world in recent months. Many are fearful and stressed, and unsure how to act appropriately in these strange times. Some act out in destructive or dramatic ways, taking their frustration out on others.
It is common knowledge that the digital age and social media has spawned a generation of computer warriors and online bullies who express their insecurities and fears, in often extremely mean and cruel ways, from the comfort of their living rooms and basements. This savage lack of empathy and decorum has seemingly now spilt over into our streets and neighborhoods too, in the midst of a global pandemic.
It is easier for many to be critical and judgmental, to complain and argue, instead of facing facts, dealing with the truth and seeking lasting solutions. Often not knowing the entire story, many people choose to see only see one side of things, while telling others off for disagreeing with their limited point of view. The computer has unfortunately given some people a platform to spread strife and hatred, instead of love, hope and kindness.
I pray that more people will strive to seek the truth and learn to look for the good and kind in others. Showing tolerance, patience and kindness is always the better, more open approach. And always remember that if someone attacks you directly, then it often means they are somehow struggling or hurting. It usually serves no real purpose to attack them back.
Let Your Authentic Self Sparkle
Too many relationships are ruined by worrying about what other people think of us. We worry about what people will say, what people will think. I’ve seen many people disconnected from their loved ones in this way, with their only means of continued communication being social, or texting. They’re so afraid of expressing the things they should say, and so on.
If we could just remove our hardened shell and reveal who we really are, and allow our souls to sparkle, be authentic and keep it real with one another, I think we would connect perfectly.
In today’s world we are so brainwashed to think we have to be something we are not. I see so many people communicating, but putting on airs, acting like they are someone they are not, to try and impress, or to sell an idea, or sell themselves as someone else. It can take a toll on the body, mind, spirit. If only we could allow ourselves to show the world who we truly are, and to speak our truth, and sincerely connect with our loved ones, family members, friends, we would all have happier, richer lives.
Sometimes we stop being who we truly are, because the person we communicate with snaps at us, or has a problem with our opinions or how we view the world. When we share our thoughts and opinions freely, these people make us feel like we can’t be who we truly are around them.
Protect Your Energy From Toxic People
It is vital to protect ourselves energetically from toxic, negative people. It is essential to our health and well-being. To one degree or another we’ve all have experienced negative, toxic people. These people are sometimes easy to detect, but not always.
The most typical scenario I have encountered is the unkind or rude family member, or distant relative. These are also the most difficult to dealt with, because we often time have no choice but to spend time with them at family events and gatherings. Usually we feel we have no choice in the matter, bit this is actually not true. We do have a choice.
We don’t have to attend every family event. If you know the toxic person is going to be there, you simply don’t have to rise to the occasion. Stop feeling guilty for not attending. Of course, there are usually other family members who make you feel like you have to be there. “It just won’t be Christmas without you,” they might say. But what it really comes down to is your personal well-being. Sure, you may only have to absorb their negative energy once or twice a year, but just like once you have heard something disturbing you can’t ‘unhear’ it, once you have had the experience it is now a part of your memories.
I prefer to be proactive when it comes to managing my energy. And we do have the right to decide who we choose to spend time with, or not. I prefer spending time with those relatives and friends who are compassionate and kind, instead of those who lack tact, are rude, cruel and inconsiderate. I prefer to avoid those who think their opinions are fact, and who are constantly dropping poison upon others with their negative comments. Not okay. Not ever.
Let’s Make The Most Of This Gift Of Time
There is a cheesy saying, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” It may be somewhat cheesy, but it is a brilliant metaphor. You still have those lemons. They are still terribly sour and inedible. But now you’ve added your own sweetness to them.
In recent months we have all suddenly been presented with a sometimes overwhelming new paradigm. Many of us are spending more time at home. Before the pandemic, many of us often wondered where our time went? If we only had more time!
This is especially true for those of us with young children. I have often said I feel like I only have 10-hour-days to fit everything into, including sleep, since my children were born.
It’s interesting to talk to my clients who are currently still going in to work, and often stressed for time, as compared to those clients who are fortunate to work from home, or have a reduced work schedule, or are currently unemployed. They are like parallel universes.
If you currently have the gift of time on your hands, make good use of it. It will lessen your depression and anxiety, and it will help you to think of this unusual time in our lives, which is only temporary, with more fondness and sentimentality. With the internet, so many options are open to us, and the possibilities are endless. Before all of this, I even learned how to crochet and knit online! I am now a very proud intermediate crocheter… and novice knitter.
Express Yourself To Make Your Relationship Work
In some cases, the grass is actually greener on the other side when it comes to relationships. And the reason for that? Well, they simply take better care of their lawn! With that said, I would like to come straight to the point. Relationships are hard work; they are not for the timid, lazy or faint-hearted.
Relationships have many levels to explore, and there is usually much trial and error involved. We all expect a fair and honest relationship, characterized by love, mutual understanding, devotion, passion, happiness and fulfillment of our dreams. We all look for growth, improvement and change, as well as commitment and certainty, and yet, there is always the unknown in the equation.
The ‘unknown’ is everything about a relationship we have yet to experience with the other person, in different settings and circumstances. So, how to deal with the unknown? In my daily work, I too often hear the following: “I told him that some time ago,” or “She should know that about me by now.” Well, to know something about another person, and the actual understanding of this information, can often be two very different things. You and your partner may have a different understanding.
So, if you were expecting your partner to consider your birthday or anniversary plans without telling him exactly what you had in mind, he will no doubt disappoint you – unless he has the gift of telepathy! How is he supposed to know what would you make happy?
Spiritual Transcendence Requires Human Interaction
You are pure energy. That is your soul and you chose to incarnate in this world to experience the duality of energy and matter. You chose this because there are learnings available here on Earth in material form that are not available when one is a ball of light. Therefore, human contact, or human interaction is as important as the experiences of energy when we are incarnated here on Earth.
You have the opportunity in this lifetime to transcend. Incarnation gives you that opportunity. You should rise to the occasion – after all you signed up for it. Running away from the physical inconveniences of incarnation is not the best of choices, if you are interested in transcendence and living an awakened life – unless your life path is one of abstinence.
If you have never practiced any kind of abstinence (fasting, voluntary poverty, celibacy) trust me when I say that it too has challenges, especially in the beginning. This is something to think about if you do practice any form of abstinence. Are you running away? Or are you taking on a spiritual practice to help you with your transcendence. And how can you be sure?
In today’s world, social media, texting, and virtual interaction prevail. There is a trend of decline in the skills of human relations, physical interaction and social skills. We see this in the workplace, as well as in our romantic relationships, family dynamics and parenting. We suffer a loss in our quality of human interaction in many ways, such as fulfillment, honesty, authenticity, conflict resolution, intimacy and many more areas. We are by our nature social creatures, and learning to be social simply cannot happen online. Equally, learning about and working with others humans is a different experience in person than online. You might prefer online, but make sure you understand your choice and consider if you are choosing avoidance rather than engagement.
The Pretense Of Hyper-Sensitivity
Once we realize we have been misunderstood in one of our casual remarks, we typically try to immediately turn it around,. We try to add a more agreeable flavor, in the hopes that the offended or confused person will take it as a well-intended supported compliment. It’s usually rather ridiculous, really, but nonetheless in these situations we continue to ‘make certain’ we are not seen in a controversial manner, or in a ‘bad light.’
When such an ambiguous occasion arises, we are perfectly aware of what we are doing and how we are doing it. But, does that make one bit of difference to us? No. If we were not nearly so phony and apologetic in our deference, we may even get a lucid glimpse of what we were really saying, along with the motivation behind our attempts to butter up the other.
What exactly is it that we are hoping to accomplish? Why is it important to remain on a level of satisfactory exchange with the other, in fear of upsetting them? Do not these innuendos ring a melody of falsity? Does not the planted, erect knife in the butter fall once the butter melts?
In other words, what is hidden in the relationships we feel so insecure about, and in need of continuing such a façade of nicety?
We work so hard to maintain the supposed idea of decency we have long since cherished, nurtured and polished in our own minds. We do nothing to upset the apple cart. And, when an unsuspecting, misunderstood statement is made, maybe even in jest, we immediately try to reabsorb the awkwardness left behind. We feel we must absolve ourselves in the light of the other, and will actually go out on a thin brittle limb of more flattery, in hopes it won’t snap to reveal our embarrassment.