When Your Man Is Not Ready To Commit

I often hear how wonderful the guy is that she is dating… if only he would commit to taking their relationship to the next level! If a woman is not satisfied with the way things are going and what she is getting from the relationship, should she continue to wait for him?

By patiently waiting for him against your better judgment, he only learns that he can get away with his lack of commitment, especially if he feels comfortable with what he is getting from the relationship. This way a pattern is formed.

So, how do you avoid wasting some of the best years of your life waiting on a guy that is never going to commit? well, right from the start you tell him what your looking for and what your expectations are. But handle it carefully, after all you don’t want to scare him away before things even get off the ground!

But do let him know how you feel about dating, long-term relationships, commitment, marriage, children, and whatever else may be important to you. This will inform him, so that you have a better shot at being on the same page. If he starts to make excuses, or says that he is not interested in a long-term commitment, at least not right now, then accept his words as the truth.

If you are looking for long-term, committed relationship, then spend time with a guys who shares the same values and expectations. Watch his actions – they do speak louder than words! If he is ‘with you’ but continues to live his life like a single guy, that’s a red flag right there. Recognize his actions as a strong indication that he is not really into any relationship and may not be for a long time.

To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect ~ Criss Jami

Always focus on and live your own life, pursuing your own interests. By doing this you will be more attractive to him, because he will see that you have your own friends and activities that you are involved with, which leaves some room for him to also have his own. Having a healthy balance of time together and time apart, you may also find that his ‘commitment issues’ magically work themselves out. If he is not feeling that he has to give up a lot to be with you and make you happy, he will be more open to taking your relationships to the next level.

Give yourself a reasonable timeframe and stick with it. Life is about living not about waiting. Relationships are about love, never about control. You should not put your life on hold waiting for him to be ready for a commitment. The only time-table is the one that feels right for you, you decide if this is real or not, but it will be on your terms.

Set the standard! Stop expecting others to show you love, acceptance, commitment, & respect when you don’t even show that to yourself ~ Steve Maraboli

Note, this is not handing him an ultimatum. There is no point to that. Pushing for a commitment never works. You cannot make your partner do something if he doesn’t want to do it. And if you could, it will probably be a disaster. I am simply saying that you should be open, honest, and very clear about what your expectations and relationship needs are.

Meanwhile, listen to your gut. You do not want to settle for less than you deserve. If you do, it sends a message to him that you will take what you can get.