values
A Sincere Apology Is Good For The Soul
One of the most difficult things in life is knowing when to apologize. It is obvious in some situations, but in others not so much. There are times when we need to weigh out all our options. Is the situation worth an apology, even if you are not the one who created a problem?
Knowing the right time to apologize is critical to the resolution. Was it done intentionally, or was it unintentional? Did the action cause others stress, worry, or pain?
You must also ask yourself if you can live without apologizing the rest of your life. Is it worth losing a friendship, leaving a group, resigning from a job, or not speaking to a family member ever again?
The good old Golden Rule can always come in handy in this dilemma. If you have done something that you would not want done to you, then apologize and seek atonement! Many people find it almost impossible to apologize. They struggle to acknowledge their own part in an argument or wrongdoing.
Some just do not seem to understand their actions were unacceptable, or they always feel that the world is out to get them. There is no compromise in their mind. They always try to twist every situation to make it seem like it is another person’s fault.
For some people, on the other hand, an apology seems to roll off their tongue a little too easily. When a sincere apology is made it must be followed by actions. Actions speak louder than words. By not repeating the offense, for example, it shows a true and sincere apology.
Sometimes all the other person needs to hear is a sincere, “I am sorry.” When we accept responsibility for our actions, we tell others we are sorry for hurting them. It is not always easy, but releasing guilt always is good for the soul.
Work Through The Fear, Obligation And Guilt (FOG)
Reflecting on my life I have found how many of my early life experiences have subconsciously influenced me, mostly due to a lack of awareness that allowed fear, a sense of obligation and guilt to remain hidden.
These hidden influences mostly come from my formative years and became obstacles I had to repeatedly struggle with in my adult life with regards relationships, career, finances, family and community.
Once I discovered these non-empowering beliefs, it was time for me to get out of the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). In hindsight, several things I was unaware of in my family’s dynamics, were actually ‘seeds’ hidden beneath the surface that in time sprouted into personal challenges and self-sabotage.
Fear
Fear and insecurity are frequent visitors for many of us in all areas of life. I was constantly focused on the negative and worst-case scenarios. This is because our brain is wired this way for the purpose of survival. Much of it also depends on our upbringing. So, we must recognize this and catch ourselves early on, in order to shift our thoughts and emotions in a positive direction.
We must be cognitive of our behaviors and explore where in our life we have learned these negative, fear-based responses. Fear is a natural part of life, but can easily become a ‘whack-a-mole’ of frustration, anxiety, uncertainty and indecision, always showing up at the most inconvenient times.
Old And Worn, Or Shiny And New?
My dad was an avid coin collector. This is probably why I have the habit of collecting spare change to look at the dates or any flaws on each coin. I guess it’s in my DNA.
One of my favorite memories of my dad is sitting at his antique roll-top desk looking at his coins with a magnifying glass. Some coins were old, dirty, beat-up, others new and shiny. It is easy to be attracted to the new and shiny coins.
I remember my father telling me some of the ones that look so old and ugly are sometimes worth much more than they may appear to be. When we go on looks and youth alone, the old, tarnished silver dollars in our lives might look like they are not worth much, but sometimes they are priceless.
My dad always said, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” After he had passed, my mother took some of his silver dollars in for appraisal and much to her surprise some of the silver dollars were worth thousands.
When I am doing readings, my dad, who is now in spirit, will sometimes come through to show me a certain old coin. It is my personal psychic symbol meaning the person I am reading for has something, or someone, in their life that may seem ‘old and worn-out,’ but worth much more than face value.
It is human nature to choose things that are bright, new, young and shiny. Sometimes we make bad life choices regarding people, places and things on appearance alone. I once bought a sports car for the way it looked. It was red and looked feisty, but it was not a great choice for the snow and ice we have here during the winter. Totally impractical. What was I thinking!
I have been reminiscing about my dad a lot lately. I asked him once if he could only live in one of his former houses, which one would he choose? Without hesitation his answer was the old family house in Maine. He was the third generation to own that house. “Why the old house,” I asked. His reply, “There is nothing in the Florida house I cannot replace. The old house has memories that are irreplaceable and priceless, right down to the wood and square nails that hold it together.”
Charity Begins At Home
My mother always said, “Charity begins at home.” But what exactly is this supposed to mean?
The first thing we might do is attempt to identify what a ‘home’ is and what it means to us. You could own a mansion, live in a studio apartment, or reside in a mobile home. No matter where we live, home is typically where we make ourselves comfortable, cook our meals, watch TV, care for our children, and rest after a long day at work. It is that safe, comfy place that we create for ourselves, based on our values and beliefs about who we are and what we hope to accomplish.
However, there is a different kind of home that each of us dwells in, that is also based on our sense of self, what belief systems we hold, and what we think we can accomplish for ourselves. This is our ‘inner home.’
In our ‘outer home’ we may have a big screen TV, state of the appliances and designer furniture. We are often so amazingly proud of ourselves, that we were able to accumulate all these luxury items that the world outside has convinced us we must have.
But then one day, we come home from work and discover someone has broken in and stolen all our expensive accumulations. What a disaster! Fortunately, these material things can easily be replaced.
You Don’t Need A New Year For A Fresh Start!
Ever since my early childhood, I have always adored, and still do love the New Year. It is a thrilling time, after all, of fresh starts, new goals and exciting plans. But as the years rolled by, and I came into my mature years, I have also learned that whilst enjoying the New Year, we can actually have a fresh start at any time!
There is need to wait for a particular moment in time to exact any change in our lives. It is true to say that for a lot of us, as the old year comes to an end, it can be somewhat tempting to procrastinate by offsetting any new goals until the next New Year, when in fact they could have been implemented sooner. Furthermore, the sooner we start to implement positive change, the sooner we begin to feel the benefits.
The following guidelines may help you to make a fresh start whenever you choose.
Have A Vision
If you enjoy making resolutions on New Year’s Eve, then, by all means, go ahead. However, you would be wise to strengthen your commitment to your long-term goals, which align with your actual core values. By doing so, you should have an awful lot more to gain than one successful resolution could ever bring you.
After all, it is how we evolve in the long run that really matters. In simple terms, by putting your words into action, preferably by using the guidelines outlined above, you should be much more successful in achieving your goals, whatever time of year it may be.
Love Is All You Need
A popular Beatles song was written circa 1967 by John Lennon, as part of the anti-war movement, with a very simplistic set of lyrics about love. “Love is all you need,” proclaims the song. Simple, yet often so elusive to so many of us.
Love is also a “many-splendored thing,” according to the Andy Williams classic. Yet, it is also complex set of emotions, beliefs, and behaviors that we have learned. Either through witnessing, training and personal experiences, which loop back into our behaviors. It is a dynamic process. These beliefs and emotions are then ‘translated’ into feelings. Feelings of attachment, affection, trust, respect, and commitment.
Love is also a topic of discussion, research and vital part of life dating back through all time. Throughout human history priests, philosophers, poets, artists, musicians, and scientists have all contemplated the mysteries and meaning of love.
And love is more than just a feeling between two people. We can have a love for country, nature, freedom, animals, opera music, or cold beer! And anything else that resonates with our heart.
The challenge for many of us in life is the rollercoaster of chasing love. As humans, we seek companionship, community, a sense of purpose. We seek to love and be loved. And we take many actions and steps towards our own definition of love. Yet, it is a dynamic, elusive, ever-changing target – one influenced and even manipulated by the many facets of human desire and emotions. Also, the sometimes harsh realities of life may take away that which we loved so much.
Spiritual Or Religious?
There are those of us who describe ourselves as “spiritual, but not religious.” But what does that really mean? Spirituality can be defined in many different ways, and it is a very personal matter.
Everyone has the right to decide for themselves what belief system or philosophy resonates most with their heart. In my view, there are many different spiritual paths that all lead to the same destination.
To be spiritual, for me, is to practice being kind to others and myself. It is simply about the ‘golden rule’ of treating others the way you wish to be treated. Truly spiritual people, no matter what their personal beliefs or values may be, are appreciative of life’s blessings and practice gratitude daily.
Spiritually aware people have hope and faith. They look at life challenges as possibilities and opportunities, instead of as limitations and setbacks. They strive to see the glass half full, as opposed to half empty.
Spiritual people also have compassion for others, and all life forms. They are usually concerned about global issues. They respect the natural environment and see the beauty in the world around them. The simple things in life become the extraordinary things bring them joy. Look at trees, mountains, ocean, birds, animals, flowers and plants! That is what I called my church. How can one be out in nature, surrounded by all its beauty, and not believe in something greater than yourself?
Spiritual people are always aiming to become better people. It’s about living your own truth, living with principles and integrity. They realize that money does not necessarily bring happiness and fulfillment, which is not to say that one cannot be wealthy and happy at the same time. I know some very wealthy people that are highly spiritual, happy and grateful, doing good things for the world we live in. Wealth often affords people the ability to contribute to making the world a better place.