transformation
Harmony In Your Relationship
How does one achieve true harmony in a relationship? This is probably the most elusive aspect in most relationships these days. Sadly, a happy and healthy relationship cannot be achieved without it also being a harmonious relationship!
To achieve harmony in any relationship, we need to address the following two aspects with honesty and courage.
Firstly, what do you require from the relationship? Are your needs being met, or is the relationship all about them? Too often people settle for a bad relationship instead seeking to fulfill their own wants and needs.
Remember, you matter. You must also be your priority, not just your partner. Your wants and needs are a priority. If you put your needs aside and put everyone before yourself, you will never find harmony or joy in your relationships.
Make a list of your top ten wants or needs. Then make a list of your top five deal-breakers. What will you not tolerate or settle for? Once you have clarity on what you need and expect, you can more easily figure out what to do about it.
A healthy relationship goes both ways, with comprise. Do your best to see that you stay true to your wants and needs. Too many people settle, because they either think they cannot find someone better, or they are scared to move forward on their own. But we must be brave to achieve what we desire in life.
Tell yourself that you deserve to be happy and that you are going to find it. You deserve it! You are worth it! If you put all of that out to the Universe and believe it, it will happen for you when the time is right. Belief is key. If you believe it, you will achieve it.
We Are Here To Witness The World Change
We have all had to make extreme changes and compromises in the way we were accustomed to living this past year. While I enjoy traveling, another person may enjoy attending larger gatherings and events, while someone else might love dining out. Whatever it is that we used to love doing, most of us had to make major concessions and sacrifices and give it all up.
Now our world is slowly, but surely, beginning to recover. We have all been eagerly watching medical science progress and research findings unfold, while we are gradually finding our way back to some sort of normalcy.
Many of us will, however, continue to take extra health and safety precautions. Participating in social events and public gatherings will be something not everyone will feel entirely comfortable with anytime soon. It will be ‘baby steps’ as we increasingly return to everyday life.
It has indeed been an unusual time in our lives. Many of us have changed our outlook on life, our way of thinking, our priorities. And our world has seen some significant changes. It has been a challenging, transformative time. I believe we are here to witness one of the biggest shifts or changes in world history. We are literally a part of history in the making.
There are great changes happening on the fourth and higher-level dimensions with regards a ‘grander plan’ for this earth dimension. The world of spirit continually impacts the earth plane in profound ways. Alchemists and metaphysicians have always believed ‘what happens above, also happens below.’
In other words, things are currently changing or shifting in the spirit realm, so life on earth is changing along with it. The trauma, upheaval and chaos we have been experiencing in recent times is therefore fueled or driven by a Universal change in the Cosmos.
We are sentient beings who come to the earth plan to evolve and expand. We evolve more quickly and powerfully while we are incarnated in a physical body. Our body is our vehicle here on the earth plane and we must always take good care of it.
The Cosmic Dance Of Life’s Challenges
No matter where in the world you live, the seasons always change, albeit some may present with changes that are more subtle than in other places. While there may be an unexplained blizzard in Florida in March, the windswept islands of the Greater Antilles may be balmy year-round with few dramatic changes in weather.
Wherever we live in the world, nature is a force all unto itself. It is sometimes predictable, while at other times intensely climatic, with extreme highs and lows.
As we all live on this big, green planet we call Earth, our human species is also subject to changes in our natural environment. We are all impacted by the seasons in some way, as well as climate unpredictability. It is an eternal cycle that impacts our crops, livestock and food supplies.
With nearly every turn we make, there is always an interconnectedness that is ever present – a reminder that our vast world is host to a greater macrocosm that supports each and every microcosm. In other words, Spirit, God, the Universe has our back!
The microcosm-macrocosm analogy is a reminder that there is a fundamental similarity that can be seen between the expression of life as we perceive it on this glorious planet, and the wider, infinite cosmos. Some philosophers have posited that a higher understanding of the cosmos may even be more closely inferred from the lessons of human nature, and vice versa.
Without expounding further on these mysteries, I believe we are bound on this plane by a natural ebb and flow that ushers in various degrees of change during many of life’s intervals. One lesson taught by life is that there is no growth without change. We see this in the natural world, as well as our personal lives. To move through various life stages requires fluid thinking, adaptability and purposeful actions.
Work Through The Fear, Obligation And Guilt (FOG)
Reflecting on my life I have found how many of my early life experiences have subconsciously influenced me, mostly due to a lack of awareness that allowed fear, a sense of obligation and guilt to remain hidden.
These hidden influences mostly come from my formative years and became obstacles I had to repeatedly struggle with in my adult life with regards relationships, career, finances, family and community.
Once I discovered these non-empowering beliefs, it was time for me to get out of the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). In hindsight, several things I was unaware of in my family’s dynamics, were actually ‘seeds’ hidden beneath the surface that in time sprouted into personal challenges and self-sabotage.
Fear
Fear and insecurity are frequent visitors for many of us in all areas of life. I was constantly focused on the negative and worst-case scenarios. This is because our brain is wired this way for the purpose of survival. Much of it also depends on our upbringing. So, we must recognize this and catch ourselves early on, in order to shift our thoughts and emotions in a positive direction.
We must be cognitive of our behaviors and explore where in our life we have learned these negative, fear-based responses. Fear is a natural part of life, but can easily become a ‘whack-a-mole’ of frustration, anxiety, uncertainty and indecision, always showing up at the most inconvenient times.
Embracing The Shadow
When I first began to intentionally and consciously walk a spiritual path, I remember doing so because it just felt so right. Every step I took toward ‘enlightenment’ in this lifetime seemed to bring more brightness into my life, and so many more blessings.
In those early days I was really rolling! I was expecting this to be an easy ride – all joy and light and love. It was wonderful.
What I hadn’t expected was the inevitable emergence of my shadow through as a result of all my spiritual work. And it was not something I was going to be comfortable with – admitting I had places of darkness within me, unloved aspects of myself, disowned pieces of my soul which had been abandoned and in such pain.
Through a series of, what seemed like, unfortunate events, I was given opportunities to face my shadow side. Challenges in relationships with friends and loved ones arose. I couldn’t understand it at first, and felt very alone and misunderstood. I was shifting the blame for this onto the people around me, instead of going inward.
Going inward, into the light, was totally okay, but going inward into the darkness was terrifying. My ego-self raised every defense to keep me from going there. Eventually, I could avoid it no longer.
My life at this point had endured tremendous change in the course of only a few years- so much so, that the entire landscape of my existence and the people in it were now different. While many of the changes were positive, the magnitude of the differences between my ‘old life’ and my ‘new life’ forced me into robust self-reflection.
Where did I want to go with my life? What did I want to do? And who was I going to be? I must admit, these were heavy questions, and I absolutely felt the weight of them. In addition, I was healing from a personal loss, and that was taking more time than I wanted it to.
My ‘aha moment’ came when I was lamenting one day about my relationship with my partner. I had identified that I wanted a deeper level of connection, but felt that he was unwilling to meet me there.