stress
Find The Eye Of The Storm
Your relationship is falling apart, you have lost your job, your finances are in a shambles, you suffer an unexpected loss due to a global pandemic. Chaos comes in many forms and at times it touches multiple areas of our lives at once.
The ripple effect starts in one area and then spreads insidiously, until every aspect of your life begins to look very bleak. Your emotional reserves are drained, confusion sets in and you feel stuck, powerless…reeling from the shock.
When things turn bad in your life this way it can have the force and power of a hurricane or tornado. It can be devastating.
Perhaps you sensed it coming. Your intuitive radar was ‘pinging’, sensing imminent danger, or maybe it caught you completely off-guard. Either way, the results are the same.
Now what? How do you get your bearings, recover your sense of direction, recharge your battery and get the inner strength to move forward?
All tropical storms have a center, or an eye. The stronger the storm the calmer the eye, which is characterized by lighter winds and a clearer sky. So, take a breath – a deep breath – and find your center. Find the eye of your storm.
Making decisions from fear or chaos always increases the strength and ferocity of the storm. Remember, all storms do pass. The beauty of life lies in the newness and change each moment offers us.
Take A Moment To Breathe!
In today’s harried, hurried world we all too often go through life just going through the motions. In our actions and in our words, day in and day out, we rarely take the time to stop and smell the roses. We get up, we go to work, we take care of what we think needs our attention the most, often neglecting ourselves in the process.
Then one day you become burned out. You have no energy to do what you used to be able to do. Your energy seems ‘all clogged up’, rather like a blocked drain, and you can’t breathe. You may feel suffocated. The answer lies in all the excess and adverse energy that you have taken into your body over the years, or over a certain period of time.
Our muscles have what is known as ‘muscle memory’ and we inadvertently have become used to doing what we do, day in and day out. And our bodies remember the feelings. It happens with amputees a lot where they often complain about pain or itching where the missing limb used to be.
It can be triggered by stressful situations, things that bring fear or some sense of trepidation into our lives. Our necks begin to tighten; perhaps your jaw starts to lock up from the stress of not saying what you really want to say. The blocked, burned-out feeling comes from this place of tension and remembered circumstances, and it can be cleared by the power of your breath. We hold so much in psychically that taking some deep cleansing breaths to help us expunge the energy taken on during our daily life.
Do some simple breathing exercises for five minutes when you awake in the morning, to prepare the mind for the day ahead. You will be pleasantly surprised at the results. If you are able to take a break during the middle of your day to practice some additional cognizant breathing, that would be great!
Reach Out And Touch Someone’s Life Today
It has been nearly a full year since many countries started going into their first lockdowns due to the global pandemic. Some people have endured much suffering and loss, especially due to the passing of loved ones.
Some have also become ultra-stressed working on the front lines in healthcare facilities, nursing homes and many other essential services. Many have lost income, jobs and businesses. Many are facing mental health challenges. Many schools have been shuttered and teaching became virtual. Parents have been struggling to multi-task between working at home and entertaining or educating their kids.
Regardless of where we find ourselves on this stress continuum, it is important to try to find some order in all the chaos. Although it might be hard to reconcile with the state of the world as it is today, it is still vitally important to carve out a little time for self-care and putting yourself first.
Just a few brief minutes of deep breathing, visualization, meditation, reading uplifting books, journaling, or a perhaps the luxury of a quick walk outside to clear the cobwebs can all work wonders! Whatever is feasible on any given day, it is important that you create a little oasis of calm for yourself. Reduce the pressure of the day by showing yourself some love and respect first.
If you are in doubt as to where to start, you can begin by just focusing on some gratitude and appreciation. Despite all the loss and heartache many of us have suffered in recent months, there is always something for which we can be grateful. Whether it is something grandiose and eventful or small and precious only to our hearts, give thanks for whatever comes to mind.
Love can be a wonderful motivator. We often do things for the people we love, rather than doing those same things for ourselves. It can feel wonderful to see the reaction of our little ones, spouses, elders, colleagues, or neighbors when we say or do something special to surprise them or acknowledge them. That is all it takes to show some love, compassion, appreciation and friendship.
Helping Others Is A Great Way To Help Yourself
Ten years ago was a very difficult time in my life. I had a lot of time to reflect and put my own needs in perspective. My experience with that stress gave me coping skills that I want to share with you in today’s difficult times.
We all have choices in life when we believe that we have hit ‘rock bottom.’ We can choose to stay at that bottom and focus on that negative energy, or we can look for the positive side and see that there is nowhere else to go, except back up to the top.
A decade ago my mother was fighting cancer. She was strong and healthy and had always focused on a healthful and active lifestyle. Why did this happen to someone who does all the right things in life, when there are so many people that do not take care of themselves and then live a longer life?
In those days, I could choose to focus on such negative thoughts about how unfair life was, or I could choose to find the positive in that situation. Spending time with my mother, taking her to doctor’s appointments, cooking her favorite meals and offering my listening ear instead created a positive spirit for both of us.
I tried to spend as much time with her as possible, giving her time to live, love and laugh. We focused on one day at a time, but also made plans for tomorrow. Keeping busy and reminiscing over the positive memories we shared, truly helped me through that very stressful time with my mother.
On top of dealing with my mother, I also had a nine year old Doberman dog that was very close to me. He had just been diagnosed with liver disease and his prognosis was not good. The added stress of my dog’s health made matters even more challenging. I still think sometimes that if it wasn’t for bad luck, I would have no luck at all! But I make an effort to snap out of this kind of thought process as quickly as possible. It serves no purpose in the long run.
Work Through The Fear, Obligation And Guilt (FOG)
Reflecting on my life I have found how many of my early life experiences have subconsciously influenced me, mostly due to a lack of awareness that allowed fear, a sense of obligation and guilt to remain hidden.
These hidden influences mostly come from my formative years and became obstacles I had to repeatedly struggle with in my adult life with regards relationships, career, finances, family and community.
Once I discovered these non-empowering beliefs, it was time for me to get out of the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). In hindsight, several things I was unaware of in my family’s dynamics, were actually ‘seeds’ hidden beneath the surface that in time sprouted into personal challenges and self-sabotage.
Fear
Fear and insecurity are frequent visitors for many of us in all areas of life. I was constantly focused on the negative and worst-case scenarios. This is because our brain is wired this way for the purpose of survival. Much of it also depends on our upbringing. So, we must recognize this and catch ourselves early on, in order to shift our thoughts and emotions in a positive direction.
We must be cognitive of our behaviors and explore where in our life we have learned these negative, fear-based responses. Fear is a natural part of life, but can easily become a ‘whack-a-mole’ of frustration, anxiety, uncertainty and indecision, always showing up at the most inconvenient times.

