soulmate
Aligning Yourself To Attract Lasting Love
When I do readings, many people usually want to talk about their love life. This is a valid and meaningful subject for all of us. Having a meaningful, harmonious and loving relationship is a wonderful part of the human experience. However, it is also true that a relationship often does not solve many of the problems and issues we have as a single person.
It is important to understand that we carry our consciousness with us everywhere we go. If you assume that you will find a relationship that will ‘make you happy,’ then you are deeply mistaken.
Yes, we may draw temporary relational circumstances that allow us to feel a little better about ourselves, but without a firm structure of personal happiness, we will eventually engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that cause the relationship to become unsustainable.
Again, we will carry our consciousness with us everywhere that we go. If we are discontent being single, we will find a way to be discontent in the relationship also.
Every relationship is the product of co-creation. Too often when a relationship does not work out, it is easy to point to the other person and say, “You did this to me.” And it makes sense, because if the original assumption is that the other person will ‘make us happy,’ then we will also make the automatic assumption that the other person can ‘make us miserable.’
Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”
Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.
Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.
If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate. The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.
Connecting With Loved Ones In Spirit
We can connect at any time with our loved ones who are no longer in this world. They are with us always, no matter where we are. Whenever you feel the need, you can communicate with them, be it a grandparent, parent, sibling, best friend, or anyone else who you had a meaningful relationship with while they were alive.
Connecting with our loved ones in spirit is not as complex or difficult as it may seem. You just have to believe you can, and you absolutely will. You can project yourself in your mind to any place you wish. It can also be a time in the past, that you wish to revisit. We have the power of our mind and if we only use it we can go wherever and visit with whomever whenever.
If you have the desire to see them again, you can ask for them to visit you in the dream or in the astral realm, or you can go into a meditation and visualize, and connect that way. Close your eyes. Remember them, as they were in life. Recall the feelings that you experienced when you used to be around them, the love that you shared.
Your heart may start to feel ‘tingly’ and you may start to hear their voice. You may even receive a message from them. They may tell you how much they love you. And they do. Always. It is that very feeling of love, that true, pure emotion, that connects us to those we love on the Other Side. Love is the very energy that created everything.
Do not ever feel hopeless that you are disconnected from or abandoned by your loved ones. They are a part of you forever, and they are right where you are now. They merely exist on a different plane now.
Thank You For Leaving Me
Heartbreak is never easy. I have heard the words, “But I love him,” so many times after a break-up. I have also heard, “No one can replace her.” I have even heard, “I’ll never even think about another person in this way, or even try to find someone new.”
Who is this mindset hurting? Look at the reality of it. It’s not hurting the other person, who walked out on the relationship. They walked out for a reason. Often they have also moved on with someone new. The only person being hurt, by hanging on, is the person hanging on.
I have also heard, “She is my soulmate,” or “He is my twin flame.” Well, if they are not on the same page as you in this lifetime, and not committed to making the relationship work, then they are not your soulmate, or twin flame. It takes a commitment from both parties.
Love is subjective. Love has to be equal from both people involved. However, when only one has their heart and soul invested, it will never last. If someone is able to walk out on the first argument, it is definitely not meant to be. If there is ever disrespect, it is also not meant to be.
I have also been at this place in my life. I was devastated when my husband walked out. I thought I had failed, but then I realized the truth. The marriage was over long before this happened. The equality of feelings was long gone, and respect was non-existent. He controlled what I did, even how I thought at times, and was wreaking havoc on my self-esteem.
Love Is All You Need
A popular Beatles song was written circa 1967 by John Lennon, as part of the anti-war movement, with a very simplistic set of lyrics about love. “Love is all you need,” proclaims the song. Simple, yet often so elusive to so many of us.
Love is also a “many-splendored thing,” according to the Andy Williams classic. Yet, it is also complex set of emotions, beliefs, and behaviors that we have learned. Either through witnessing, training and personal experiences, which loop back into our behaviors. It is a dynamic process. These beliefs and emotions are then ‘translated’ into feelings. Feelings of attachment, affection, trust, respect, and commitment.
Love is also a topic of discussion, research and vital part of life dating back through all time. Throughout human history priests, philosophers, poets, artists, musicians, and scientists have all contemplated the mysteries and meaning of love.
And love is more than just a feeling between two people. We can have a love for country, nature, freedom, animals, opera music, or cold beer! And anything else that resonates with our heart.
The challenge for many of us in life is the rollercoaster of chasing love. As humans, we seek companionship, community, a sense of purpose. We seek to love and be loved. And we take many actions and steps towards our own definition of love. Yet, it is a dynamic, elusive, ever-changing target – one influenced and even manipulated by the many facets of human desire and emotions. Also, the sometimes harsh realities of life may take away that which we loved so much.
Soul Group Zen Connections
I love when you meet a new friend and they are on the same wavelength. It usually feels like you have known them forever and you can just talk for hours, completely losing track of time. Time does fly when we connect with those who are in the same soul group.
I recently had the rare experience of talking with someone who, like me, is also intuitive, emphatic, sensitive, and loves the Tarot and crystals. It was a blessing and rare opportunity to talk to someone with whom I have so much in common on a spiritual level.
We soon discovered that we have both learned to set up healthy boundaries in our lives, including with our in-laws. We also lived in the same city for the first five years of our lives. There are also many other personal things we have in common.
I call this state of resonance with someone or something ‘to be in zen.’ When we are in zen with someone, we are connecting with a kindred spirit. It happens smoothly and easily, as our energy is in alignment with our own truth and theirs. No hang-ups, no snares, no issues, no resistance.
I also believe we are divinely guided towards those who share our soul group. Like attracts like, and this creates a positive domino effect with everything just smoothly energized and aligned. Our health, happiness, well-being benefit from it on all levels.
My Spirit Guide once put it to me like this and it makes perfect sense: “When you go through life not recharged or reenergized, you tend to not connect well spiritually.” There are many ways to recharge our spiritual batteries, including meditation, a healthy lifestyle, being charitable, and so on.
How To Manifest Love
You might be asking yourself, does he love me? Is he into me, like I am into him? Or, where is my partner, my soulmate? Is he ever going to come into my life?
Manifesting love is at the top of the list for many people, next to money. But it can be a real struggle to attain a good relationship that is loving, caring, giving, respectful. Most of us want a healthy relationship where we feel desired, respected and appreciated, but many of us do not know how to attain it.
Either people are at a loss on how to begin the search, or they just don’t know how to go about building a lasting love connection. They don’t understand they’re doing wrong, or why it hasn’t shown up yet.
Some also feel that they truly deserve it, while others may believe they don’t. And those who do not feel deserving of a good relationship tend to fall into the trap of settling for: “Well, it is easy, it is comfortable. It’s better than nothing.” Too many people feel they do not deserve love and do not deserve to feel this level of happiness.
I believe that a loving, fulfilling relationship is available to anyone who desires it. To attract such a relationship one simply has to apply the basic principles of manifesting. These guidelines are universal, no matter what the desired outcome may be. The basic steps I’ve used to manifest things into my life are as follows:
Clarify Your Desires
Decide what you want and need. I mean clearly decide what type of relationship you want. Who do you want your lover or partner to be? It need not be specific in superficial details, such as their name or hair color, but who are they as a person? How will they treat you? What kind of personality do they have? How much attraction will you feel? Do you share religious and or political views? Are finances and job status important?