relatives
Shine Your Heart Light This Holiday Season
Times have been tough this year. The alignment of the stars have not been overly kind to most of us. Public health crises, economy, politics, mayhem. And in this atmosphere relationships are even tougher than ever to navigate, especially with Venus and Pluto aligning in Scorpio.
My beloved dad, who passed twelve years ago, often said, “It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.” Situations or people may appear hopeless and dark in these times, but it is important to remember that even the smallest flicker of just one tiny candle can shine a light for others to hold on to. Astrologer Pam Gregory, reminds us to breath into our heart centers, to raise our vibrations. In doing so, each one of us can be that tiny candle, flickering in the dark.
The holidays will bring families together. But holidays can either be celebratory occasion of merriment and cheer… or a war zone of toxic viewpoints and unwelcome meddling. It can often be an unresolved issues ‘free-for-all.’ A nosy sibling might tell you what they think, while you did not ask their opinion! Or, Uncle Bob may dip a little too frequently into the spiked eggnog, drowning all the fa-la-la in his wake.
It occurs to me now that the happy Bing Crosby tune Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate The Positive I heard on the radio earlier was no accident.
You’ve got to accentuate the positive
 Eliminate the negative
 Latch on to the affirmative
 Don’t mess with Mister In-Between
You’ve got to spread joy up to the maximum
 Bring gloom down to the minimum
 Have faith or pandemonium
 Liable to walk upon the scene
Dealing With ‘Unawakened’ Friends And Family
Spiritual awakening is a profound shift in our perception that forever alters the way we experience life. But after we have made the shift it can be difficult to relate to less spiritually aware friends and relatives and leave one feeling lonely and deeply isolated.
The following strategies can be helpful in cultivating more harmony between yourself and ‘unconscious’ people without compromising your own energy vibration.
COMPASSION AND EMPATHY
At one time you were also not awakened. Think back to what that was like. What kind of thoughts dominated your mind? How did you feel about your life? How did you feel in general? The truth is, although you’ve gone through a spiritual awakening, you can still relate to those who have not. You have a point of reference for this.
Someone who is unconscious typically doesn’t have a pleasant inner world, because they aren’t intentionally governing it. Think back to what your life and most importantly – your relationship with yourself and your mind – looked like before your awakening. What did your own resistance look like? At some point your perspective shifted. But prior to that point – how receptive were you to changing your views and ideas? Especially when a family member came to you and said, “Hey, you’re doing it wrong.”
Put yourself in their shoes. Now that you’ve awakened you have the pleasure to start putting it to use in a way that serves the highest and best good of all. Remember that every soul is a spiritual being, and just because you have awakened to this fact, does not make you ‘better than’ anyone else. This is a trap that the ego likes to throw up early, and often along the spiritual path.
The ego is something we must constantly be mindful of. You are not more spiritual because you are vegan, or because you meditate, or because you do Yoga. If you are living in judgment of others through these practices, you are trapped in ego. Be mindful of yourself and come back to a state of compassion and empathy. Allow people to awaken in their own time.
Learning To Check In With Spirit
It is likely you have a friend, co-worker or relative that is in an unhealthy or even abusive relationship. We all know people who are kind, sweet, giving, and thoughtful, who become involved with emotionally absent, dysfunctional, abusive partners.
I know someone who is currently in such a situation. Her loving nature and generosity far exceeds anything I have ever experienced in another person, and I count myself exceptionally lucky to have her as my friend.
We have known each other for many years, but have only recently developed a much closer relationship, because we have both experienced a deep loss in recent years. Grief and bereavement becomes somewhat more tolerable if one has a close friendship in which you can safely express and share your sorrow.
Judging by my friend’s gentle, kind nature one might expect she would be with a life partner who has similar traits and appreciates her, but shockingly she is in one of the most toxic relationships I have ever encountered. She is not being physically assaulted, but she is subjected to unbearable verbal and emotional abuse.
It has been going on for a very long time. I continue to offer her my unconditional love and support but feel at a loss beyond that. I have asked her why she is still in that situation with so very little to indicate there will ever be any miraculous changes? But she has always evaded these questions.
Recently, she finally confessed her reason for staying with him: she is worried about what people might think and say if she leaves him! I asked her what people? She replied, her friends and family. They might find fault with her for breaking up the family.
Grandma’s Love Was The Best
 I remember what Grandma was wearing when she passed away. I also recall exactly what she said and everything else that happened that day, right down to the violets I picked in the backyard to place in her hand. She was wearing an oversized Winnie the Pooh T-shirt that could have been a night dress, I’m not sure. She had her red robe on and black slippers lined with greyish fluff.
She was told she was being taken to the nursing home, but it was actually hospice she would be going to. She could no longer walk and had fallen, and no one was able to pick her up. Not even myself. I wish I could, but I just was not able to.
I sensed she wasn’t to going be with us very much, and I was very upset about it. But constantly having to give her blood transfusions and her being in so much pain, it was the right decision at the time. I have made peace with that now.
Settling her into the hospice, Grandma was adamant the bed be taken out, as it was unbearably uncomfortable. She kept saying, “I just want to go home and die. This is no way to live. I’m ready to go.” She also told me, if I ever needed her after she had gone, all I would have to do is call her name, and she would be there for me. Grandma kept her promise to me. To this day I still feel her around me all the time, especially when I think of her and call her name.
I think the worst thing I ever experienced in my entire life was walking into that hospice room after she had passed and seeing her shell of a body. She was no longer there, obviously, but she was still around. I felt she was somewhere in the room looking at us and saying her goodbyes.
Pain had made her very bitter towards the end of her life. She wasn’t herself anymore because she was on so many different strong medications and invasive treatments. I sensed that she longed to be with her departed husband and her dear mother who passed when she was just a young girl. Her mom was also a psychic and apparently really good with things like Numerology and dreaming lucky numbers. I loved hearing all those stories.
Honoring Our Fathers And Forefathers
In our youth we easily forget to honor those fathers and father-figures who love and guide us. As we grow older, and hopefully wiser, some of us begin to realize that our fathers are the unsung heroes we never appreciated much. If we are one of the lucky ones, they were our champions growing up.
Always stalwart and steady, no matter what was going on around them or preying on their minds. How often must they have ended their day wondering whether they were doing enough for their families and what the future might hold?
After the fact, sometimes they openly share the worries, fears and insecurities that became all too real in times of crisis, but these challenges were carefully hidden from us, so as not to frighten us.
For those of us who have fathers who fought in wars for our freedom, we owe a great debt of gratitude. These courageous men who may have been terrified in the face of grave danger, fought bravely for their beliefs and the safety of their families. Many were lost or injured. Most returned home, greatly changed. And yet, we rarely heard about the realities of war, or their sacrifices.
Striking a balance between strength and vulnerability is a never-ending work in progress. Blessed is the man who finds his equilibrium with a calm, cool demeanor in the midst of the chaos that surrounds them. Blessed also are the children who call him “Dad.”
To the men who have acted as leaders and mentors to many protégés, perhaps without even knowing it, a great deal is owed. Whether it has been through leadership in business, teaching in schools, or volunteering in communities, many have no idea how deeply they have affected those whose lives they have touched, even peripherally.
The Eternal Love Of A Mother
The nurturing energy of a mother is usually the emotional glue that keeps many families together. Whether it is their kindness, generosity, unconditional love or simply their joy and laughter, the mother-figures in our lives are often fundamental in helping us grow, expand, love and learn.
Many mothers must transcend what is possible to achieve the near impossible on an ongoing basis. Regardless of their circumstances, the impact of our mothers is deep and everlasting.
Perhaps it was your mother’s triumph over adversity that instilled a deep-rooted sense of perseverance in you. Perhaps it was by observing your grandmother’s social interactions that you learned how to function well in your community. There are many examples of how the mother-figures in our lives have nurtured and inspired us.
A mother’s unconditional love for her children is the most beautiful bond of love we may ever know. For this most of us should be eternally grateful. We are indeed privileged to have felt such loving care and protection.
For those of us who have lost our mothers, it is comforting to know that they continue to guide, guard and protect us in spirit, as we make our way through this life on Earth. Regardless of the turmoil we might endure, most of our mothers always come through with an amazing amount of love and care, both in this life and the next.
Our mothers can often also do more for us from the spirit realm, than they might have been able to do for us while they were here in this life. It is comforting to know that our mothers and grandmothers, including the mother-figures and nurturers in our extended family, are with us always, combining their earthly experience and newfound wisdom in spirit to impart to us even more than we could imagine while they were on the earth plane. Continue reading
