relatives
Honor Your True Self Without The Drama
Many of people spend a good portion of their lives trying to be who they think others expect them to be. Although it is important for our own safety and peace of mind to conform and abide by society’s customs and codes of conduct, it is also imperative that we feel free to authentically express ourselves – as long as it is not detrimental to the well-being of others.
These days it can be treacherous to speak your mind or express your true feelings in just about any context, but the most troublesome of places to do this is on social media platforms, where faceless strangers often attack each other mercilessly, and at times for no apparent reason.
Instead of exposing oneself publicly to the vitriol and ill-conceived opinions of random strangers, it is best to be true to ourselves within our personal circle of influence. Being yourself and living and authentic life does not require us to announce our true thoughts and innermost feelings to the entire world.
Of course, expressing your truth to those closest to us can be equally difficult. One key to successfully communicating is to truly listen with respect and consideration to the views of others. Often, we do not really hear what is being said, because we are frantically thinking of our own response to what we assume they are saying.
Actively listening to someone explaining their position can be a real test of patience sometimes, but it usually pays off in the end by way of mutual understanding, conflict resolution, or compromise.
Disagreeing without hostility and aggression is an art in itself. The world we currently live in can be a tinder box at times, with people overreacting to even the smallest perceived slight. We cannot control the beliefs, words and actions of others, but we can certainly manage our own.
Healing The Karmic Patterns Of Ancestral Trauma
Sometimes during meditation, I recall past events and childhood memories that had been long forgotten. A recent vision, for example, took me back to the home I was raised in. But the scene was one I do not remember.
I saw myself as a little girl, around three years old, and members of my mother’s family were visiting us. Everyone was singing and playing instruments together. I saw myself watching them and enjoying the music, but then felt guided to look diagonally upward to another scene happening simultaneously.
In the other scene I saw my ancestors; at least that is what I concurred because they were going back in a line. Behind my great grandmother, who was playing the piano, there were people who I sensed to be her parents, and then her grandparents behind them, and so on.
In that glimpse into the distant past, I observed how the behavioral patterns and family dynamics of our ancestors, some of it dysfunctional and unhealthy, had become the patterns of my family. I also saw how these patterns were passed on to me and how it has shaped the patterns in my life and my own family to this day.
I then invoked the Heavenly Light to wash over all of us: myself and my family, my living relatives, all my ancestors who came before us, as well as all of our future descendants. I prayed that all of the disharmony in my family lineage be healed, and also that any other families and individuals we had disharmonious interactions and relationships with be healed too.
In Hawaiian culture this kind of healing prayer is known as Ho’oponopono. It is an ancient spiritual practice of reconciliation and forgiveness, which in English literally translates to ‘to make right,’ or ‘to make good.’ Ho’oponopono is essentially a personal responsibility and forgiveness prayer or ritual to heal, among other things, feuding families and ancestral trauma. When practiced repeatedly, it is said to balance out karma. I do believe in praying for those who wronged or harmed us, because within their healing we find our own as well.
Jupiter, Pluto And The Judgment Of Solomon
One of my favorite astrologers, Christopher Renstrom, is an uber-wise storyteller who has a knack for bringing profound astrological messages to life. He recently spoke about the separating Jupiter-Pluto energies, likening both Jupiter and Pluto to judges: Jupiter symbolizing Zeus, the benevolent King of Mount Olympus, and Pluto to Hades, his brother, the King of the Underworld.
In many ways these energies are opposite to one another, one reigning in the light (Jupiter), the other in the dark at night, beneath the surface of things (Pluto). Yet, both kings preside in judgment over matters brought to their attention.
Christopher went on to relay the story of The Judgement of Solomon from the Hebrew Bible, in which Solomon rules between two women both claiming to be the mother of a particular child. The explained that this story beautifully exemplifies Jupiter and Pluto in their role as judges over life and death.
In the story, two women had given birth, but tragically one of the babies did not survive when the mother accidentally rolled over on the child in her sleep. In the morning, she secretly switched the two babies, giving the deceased newborn to the other mother. This mother awoke and found the lifeless child, but knew this wasn’t her baby. She knew the living child belonged to her instead, but the other mother denied this and wouldn’t give up the living child.
The case went before King Solomon, who agreed to listen to anyone’s complaint, no matter what walk of life they came from. And so, each mother, in-turn, argued her side, with no corroborating witnesses to back them up.
Solomon listened intently, then asked for a sword. He then ordered the living child be cut in two, with one half handed to each of the mothers as a fair resolution of the dispute. But the true mother of the living baby implored the king not to kill the innocent child, but instead willingly relinquished the baby to the other mother. The illegitimate mother, however, demanded the child be killed so no one would have it, dispensing her own morbid sense of justice.
Discovering My Supernatural Heritage At Grandma’s
Sometime around the year 1967 my parents told me one day that I was going over to grandmother’s house so that she could watch me while they were going somewhere for the day. I begged them not to take me there, because the place was haunted. I felt like something was always watching me at that house… and it was not my grandmother! But my parents told me my cousin Alan was going to be there too, and I would have someone to play with. So I reluctantly agreed.
When we pulled up my aunt and uncle were just driving off, so at least I knew my cousin was there and we could play with our trucks. When I walked in there was a little girl beside my cousin. My grandmother introduced her as Sally. She also watched Sally while her mom and dad went to work.
While my cousin and I where playing, Sally was happily playing all by herself. She was talking to an imaginary friend and they were playing with her dolls. At lunchtime I remember feeling like someone was tickling me at the table. Sally told me that I was sitting in her friend’s chair and asked me to move.
There was an empty chair across from me and I asked Sally why her friend could not just go and sit over there? Then I felt something pulling on my ear really hard, and I jumped! I quickly moved over to the other chair. I looked at my cousin, but he didn’t say a word. He just looked at me with his eyes really wide open.
When my grandmother returned to the kitchen, I told her that I wanted to go home. I wanted to call my mom and dad to pick me up. But she had just finished talking to my mom, who asked for me to spend the night at my grandmother’s. They would pick me up the next day. I was not impressed.
Keeping The Family Out Of Your Love Life
Family and our relatives have a huge impact on our romantic lives, whether we realize it or not. We bring so much from the way we were raised into our love relationships and marriages.
But having had a difficult childhood does not necessarily set us up for challenges and failure in our relationships. In fact, for those who are self-aware it can be an advantage of choosing not to bring the toxic drama of your childhood home into a current relationship.
For example, if you saw your father treat your mother without respect, you might set your mind to never allowing that happen in your own relationship. This kind of courage and personal responsibility can break the cycle.
We all have things that happen in childhood things that happen that are out of our control, it is all in how you deal with them that forms us as adults. We have a choice always.
The other aspect is culture and the values and customs with which we were raised. Depending on the circumstances it can have a significant impact on our relationships. Once again it is a choice how we want to handle it. Do we follow the family traditions, or not?
It takes courage and an open mind to march to your own drum. Standing up for what you believe can also go a long way. Sometimes this is vital to ensure a healthy, happy relationship that will last.
Of course, the biggest challenge for most couples is having the family up in your relationship business. Do your relatives influence your decisions and interfere in your relationship? Navigating a relationship or marriage successfully in this day and age is challenging enough.
Successful Relationships Begin With Self-Love
How do you ensure your relationship will work long-term? Many callers ask me this question almost every day. In my experience, there needs to be a balance of love, caring, respect and truth for any relationship to last. If you do not have these components in a relationship, more than likely it will not work out. If a relationship is out of balance, then it usually is too one-sided and not serving your highest good.
The key first step is to love and respect yourself, because when you love and respect yourself, you will also receive more love and respect from others. There is not much of a future for any relationship that is based on the self-sacrifice of one party. It never lasts and typically does not end well. Balance is required in matters of the heart.
Along with the respect you deserve in the way you are treated. it is loving, caring, and respectful? This is applicable to everyone in your life, including romantic partners, friends, co-workers, family, and relatives.
Respect is not only something we must demand, but we must also set boundaries for it in our daily life. When a boundary is repeatedly disregarded or violated by someone in your life, then something needs to change. This is when you have to say, enough.
Sometimes the hard decisions need to be made. If someone is not respecting you in your relationship, treating you poorly, and not meeting your most essential wants and needs, then it is time to make a change. Respect yourself enough to end it.
Too many people do not believe they deserve love and respect, for various reasons. The problem often begins in childhood. It is important to realize you do and to start loving yourself a little more – not in an egotistical way, but in a way that you love and respect yourself enough to want only the best for you and to no longer settle for anything less.
Be Mindful Who You Allow Into Your Energy Field
We all know someone who is personally so miserable they want everyone around them to be equally miserable too. You can usually tell by how they talk, behave, and treat others.
Due to a recent encounter I personally had with a relative who is acts like this, I decided to ask spirit for insight and guidance on how to deal with such people. How does a spiritually conscious person handle someone who makes us feel as though we need to walk on eggshells whenever we are around them?
Spirit showed me that we all have those relatives or friends who are obviously very unhappy and choose to take it out on others. Spirit says the first step is to not participate in any argument they try to initiate. Simply don’t respond. To argue it takes two people. So simply do not buy their drama.
It can get very uncomfortable when such a negative, toxic individual engages with you. They can make us feel really bad – often for no reason other than wanting to bring you down to their low frequency. Don’t allow them to push your buttons. By not giving in to their ploy, you remain connected to the Light,
Understand that some people are in a very fragmented place of spiritual disconnect and emotional dysfunction, often because they never dealt with their emotional issues on a deeper level. So, because of that they take it out on others.
Spirit says we must seek to create some healthy space and set boundaries with these people. We can be compassionate and understanding, without becoming their victims or emotional punchbags. It is your spiritual right to take back your power.