personal responsibility
Choose Kindness – A Message From My Guides
In these times of uncertainty, worry and fear, we urge you to step back and let kindness prevail. It is more important than ever to take a breath before reacting to what might normally seem to be an insensitive comment, or blatant oversight.
Even people who are usually even-tempered and relaxed can currently be on edge after months of sheltering in place, and it is impossible to understand what every individual may be going through right now, or how difficult their circumstances might be day-to-day. This does not condone their negative behavior, but it does give you an opportunity to rise above the fray, before responding in kind.
Keep in mind that, although everyone is currently in the same boat, each situation is entirely different. One person might have very limited finances, and truly worry about putting food on the table. Another might be a single parent, with children to home school, in spite of having to leave their home every day to also work as a first responder or an essential service worker. No two sets of circumstances are alike, and to each individual their personal challenges will be of paramount importance.
Listen before reacting. Pause. Try to empathize with the other person’s point-of-view, instead of the way it is being presented. Try to see past a short-tempered response, or erratic explanation. A smile and a patient ear will often diffuse a tense situation.
The good news is that the circumstances in your world are gradually improving, and there are many positive occurrences on the horizon. The Sun continues to rise every day, while thousands of scientists and medical experts are working around the world to bring about vaccines and treatments to fight this latest suffering. Millions more have ramped up their service in offering medical, emotional and financial support to those in need. Each day, there is another glimmer of hope in many different parts of the world.
Let Us Not Wait Until It’s Too Late
In a deep meditative state, I was contemplating how people are doing things differently because of the current state of affairs with the Covid-19 pandemic. Most are being highly cautious to prevent the spread of the new coronavirus. They are wearing masks, staying at home and doing various things to bolster their well-being and immunity.
The response is typically similar when there is a diagnosis of a serious illness, such diabetes, heart disease or cancer. The afflicted person often immediately makes changes to their lifestyle, for example changing their diet and eating healthier foods.
When there is a war, or a crime wave, or a terrorist attack, people become more vigilant and practice better safety precautions, while having a greater awareness of their surroundings, also known as situational awareness.
I was reading for somebody recently, who lives in a condo community. She described how none of her neighbors ever spoke to her, although she went out of her way to always be friendly and talk to others. Apparently, they were often very short with her.
But then many of the residents became victims to criminal activity, such as delivered packages stolen from their door. Suddenly, she noticed, more of her neighbors started to talk to each other, and more of them wanted to be friendly with her. In fact, they even started to meet in the park, to talk and discuss the safety of their shared living community.
On The Positive Side Of A Pandemic
These are painful, difficult times. There is a lot of uncertainty in our world and it is so hard to see so many people suffering. However, there are also many beautiful, magical, heroic moments happening everywhere on the planet.
These moments of unity and love, occurring at the same time as so much hardship and pain is occurring, is what will matter most in the end. It is important during times like this to balance the darkness with the light. In today’s post, I wish to therefore focus on some of these more uplifting, inspirational trends of recent weeks.
There is a man in Spain whose upstairs neighbor was in the hospital due to a Covid-19 infection. The man reached up high every night and fed the hospitalized man’s dog on the balcony of his apartment, thus keeping the dog alive throughout the owner’s hospitalization. Sometimes the smallest act of kindness can have the most lasting impact.
In some places, pet shelters have been emptying with more people recently adopting cats and dogs as companions. In the process more animals are being spared euthanasia and given good homes. Many people are now being comforted and loved by their new fur babies during a difficult time.
Nurses, doctors, truck drivers, janitors, grocery store workers and many other service workers are now being praised as heroes. There is a new appreciation for the important work they do. Some wealthy people have donating money, time and energy to feed people and support the unemployed.
A Unique Time For Human Connection
This is a unique opportunity in human history. We have more time now to expand our awareness and understanding, and to take the guidance from the sages of the ages to find peace in a tumultuous situation. One of the most unique aspects of the current situation is related to human connection.
At a time when we are being asked to practice social distancing, we also have a unique opportunity to be connected through social media and video conferencing. I am amazed at the opportunity that the miracle of technology has given us. Many of these technologies were not available 20 years ago.
Recently, I have been seeing stories about the kindness and compassion people are showing during this time. All the communication technology we have at our disposal enables us to connect with one another at a deeper level.
I would also recommend not focusing too much of your mental and emotional attention only on yourself at this time. The current situation is not just about you, and when we focus too much energy on what we are going to do or how this will affect us on a personal level, it only increases our sense of anxiety about the unknown.
If you are currently finding yourself with more free time, also do not just use this as an opportunity to only binge on television or movies. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with watching television or movies, but this is also an opportunity to expand your interpersonal connections in a unique way. This is a time where we can extend our energies on compassion and kindness toward our fellow humans.
Aligning Yourself To Attract Lasting Love
When I do readings, many people usually want to talk about their love life. This is a valid and meaningful subject for all of us. Having a meaningful, harmonious and loving relationship is a wonderful part of the human experience. However, it is also true that a relationship often does not solve many of the problems and issues we have as a single person.
It is important to understand that we carry our consciousness with us everywhere we go. If you assume that you will find a relationship that will ‘make you happy,’ then you are deeply mistaken.
Yes, we may draw temporary relational circumstances that allow us to feel a little better about ourselves, but without a firm structure of personal happiness, we will eventually engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that cause the relationship to become unsustainable.
Again, we will carry our consciousness with us everywhere that we go. If we are discontent being single, we will find a way to be discontent in the relationship also.
Every relationship is the product of co-creation. Too often when a relationship does not work out, it is easy to point to the other person and say, “You did this to me.” And it makes sense, because if the original assumption is that the other person will ‘make us happy,’ then we will also make the automatic assumption that the other person can ‘make us miserable.’
Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”
Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.
Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.
If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate. The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.
Lead By Example – A Message From My Guides
Many of you lead by example, without having to think about it. You obey traffic signals. You pick up garbage if you accidentally drop it. You hold doors open for others. You smile at strangers. You volunteer. You support local charities.
Entering the second month of this new decade, it might be a good time to re-think some old habits, and also lead from within.
For example, it may be a good idea to tone down those automatic, knee-jerk thoughts of annoyance, anger or retribution when someone pushes all-too-familiar buttons. Instead of allowing the cortisol and adrenaline to skyrocket within your body, think things through, before reacting negatively. Resist the urge to speak hurtful comments, even if your basic premise is sound. Find a constructive way to get your point across.
Sometimes it is tempting to jump on the bandwagon for likes and shares on social media platforms. However, if the topic is not kind, hold your tongue. Instead, be the person who can be counted on for level-headed discourse, without vitriol.
In general, be kind to others. Give people some leeway when it is evident that they are trying their best. Catch them doing something right, instead of watching for errors and omissions. Give recognition and praise where warranted. It can mean so much and does not cost anything.
Be kind to yourself too. Banish negative self-talk. Give yourself the right to be human and allow yourself to make mistakes, without chastising yourself for an unimportant oversight. If a serious error does occur, do your best to rectify the issue in a timely manner, with a ‘note-to-self’ that you have learned from the situation and will not repeat it.