personal responsibility
To Hate Is A Self-Destructive Choice
When I was in middle school, around the age of 13 or so, I remember an older, more popular girl used to constantly bully me. I also remember coming home from school and telling my mother about it. I told my mother that I hated that girl, but she very sternly said, “Oh no, you don’t hate anyone!”
I defiantly replied, “Oh yes, I do!”
My mother then patiently replied, “Okay, well if you are going to insist on hating her, please go and do it somewhere else, young lady. I do not want to hear about it anymore!”
She never explained to me why she felt it was inappropriate for me to hate anyone. I didn’t figure this out until much later in my life.
My own daughter is now also a teenager and she sometimes comes home from school with similar complaints. A girl at school has been spreading false rumors about her. Just like I did all those years ago, my daughter also told me how she hated this girl. And I replied the same way my mother did, except I also explained that hate only breeds more hate.
To hate someone or something only hurts you, no one else. My daughter hating this person she feels has wronged her, will only cause her to hurt herself more with negative emotion, every time she thinks about this person. Every time she tells a friend or family member about this girl, she will be refueling her own negative fire. Thus, she will only end up hurting herself more.
The other girl does not feel every occasion my daughter is upset, or reliving the hurtful situation that occurred. In reality, my daughter is punishing herself every time she thinks about how this person wronged her. This is what we all tend to do, when we find ourselves in similar or hurtful situations.
Honor Your Goals And Dreams
Sometimes the goals and dreams we aspire to remain dormant, because it may seem daunting, challenging, or even impossible. But these ambitions deserve their rightful place in our lives. There is certainly no shame in dreaming big, but there is potentially much disappointment in giving up on one’s goals and dreams too easily.
Several modern technologies, such as motion pictures, sound recording, alkaline batteries, the telephone and the electric light bulb, that we take for granted today were once deemed impossible, until Thomas Edison defied all odds and made scientific research the focus of his life.
At just 12 years old, Edison lost hearing in one ear and was nearly deaf in the other ear, but instead of feeling defeated he used this traumatic loss to increase instead his ability to focus. From a tragedy emerged an uncanny gift for unrelenting concentration for hours at a time without distraction.
Edison subsequently honored his dreams and transformed our world with many great inventions that have impacted out lives exponentially. His industrial research lab was established in 1876 and was one of the first laboratories that welcomed teams of scientists and inventors to participate in the process of invention.
The world as we know it today would not exist without the many contributions of Edison and his teams of fellow scientists and researchers. These individuals were true mavericks who honored their goals and dreams. Their unyielding focus drove them to uncover many scientific complexities. By honoring their vision, they harnessed the power of nature to bring light to the world, and so much more.
Birth Order And The Empath
Most of us are familiar with the notion that the personality traits of the firstborn are typically different from the middle sibling, or the youngest child in the family, and so on. But many empaths do not realize how they may be impacted by their birth order in the family.
In The Birth Order Book, author Kevin Lemar gives a detailed outline of these so-called ‘birth order’ characteristics and qualities.
Firstborns, as well as only children, for example, are often associated with leadership attributes and stronger personalities, along with being more protective, fearless, and reliable than their siblings. However, the firstborn may also exhibit some less desirable traits, such as being controlling, bossy and impatient.
The middle-born tend to be social butterflies and peacekeepers, who are focused on fairness and keeping everyone happy. The youngest-born tend to be fun-loving, outgoing, creative, free spirited and can be adept at manipulating others to do things for them.
Only children tend to be mature for their age, perfectionistic and conscientious, but may feel the burden of high parental expectations.
The Firstborn Empath
My experience with empaths has been that the firstborn and only child empaths are indeed more protective, fearless, independent, reliable, but in the empath these protective instincts are magnified tenfold.
They also tend to feel it is their responsibility to solve every human problem and protect everyone around them, regardless. I often see a very enhanced sense of responsibility.
The Divine Justice Of Karmic Lessons
We sometimes feel we have been wronged by others in some awful way, and then we wonder if the perpetrators will get their ‘come uppance’ or ‘just deserts.’ We wish to know if divine justice will be served upon them.
Sometimes we are so upset or angry that we would like to see this retribution happen immediately and right before our very eyes. In these emotional moments we are out for revenge and want to see the other person reap what they’ve sown. We believe it may bring us some peace that justice has finally been done.
As a youngster, I often heard my mother refer to it as “The Law of Return,” suggesting that whatever we put out there, both good and bad, will always come back to us. She would say that it always comes back to us tenfold!
There are also spiritual teachings and wisdom traditions that suggest if we don’t learn our lessons and correct our mistakes in this lifetime, it will become karmic in the next. It further suggests that we eventually will experience whatever harm or wrongdoing we have imposed upon others in our own life, sometimes for several lifetimes, until we’ve truly learned our lesson.
So, will others get what’s coming to them for the pain and suffering they have caused us? It’s my experience that this is rarely the case, but from evidential mediumship messages, I am convinced that a life review, when we reach the other side, is inevitable. The soul who has hurt someone else, will be held accountable and will feel what the other person felt very intensely.
I do know from spirit messages that have come through from certain relatives and family members on the other side, that they have relived what I had felt when they were harsh towards in this life. Spirit often comes through with messages of guilt, remorse and regret. The aim is usually to seek healing and forgiveness.
Tune Into The Guidance Of Your Emotions
I believe our emotions are an additional ‘sense’ we use as a means of interpreting our life experiences, in the same way the normal five senses enable us to perceive and understand the world around us. Our ‘emotional sense’ help us make decisions about our preferences all the time.
For example, I love chocolate. My sense of taste tells me that chocolate is for me! It’s a very clear and obvious signal from my taste buds to my brain. We receive and process stimuli all the time and our senses help us to ‘make sense’ of that input.
Your emotions are also giving you information about your preferences and if we listen and pay attention, we can gain a lot of guidance from it. Our emotions don’t just come from nowhere. They arise in direct response to stimuli or input, just like our senses do.
I have also heard emotions described as an internal guidance system, or our inner compass, which helps us decide what we want to create more of, and less of, in our life. We sometimes get confused though, because just like the other senses, we have different preferences.
For example, some people love coconut desserts, but I detest then. Not thanks, keep your coconut out of my chocolate! The thing is, I’m not confused about the fact that I don’t like coconut. I also don’t feel I have to change my preference because other people love coconut. And I also don’t force myself to eat it, just to make other people happy.
When one of our five physical senses tells us something we tend to listen, because it’s visceral. We feel it undeniably in the body. Emotions are no different!
When you are heartbroken, do you not feel it in your chest as a physical pain? When you are embarrassed, do your cheeks or ears not become flushed? Or how about when someone you love hugs you so warm and deliciously, all your muscles just ‘melt’ into that person? These are all physical responses the accompany our emotions.
Still Hanging On To The Wrong Person?
Are you still hanging on to the wrong person? I know you adore him. I know you love her. I understand that you believe you are soulmates and ‘meant to be.’
But be aware that your beloved has free will. If they are not exactly alignment with you, no matter how you strongly feel about them, nothing will come of your ‘situationship.’ They are on their own journey and you cannot will someone to be your lover or life partner. It is nothing more than the beginning of a colossal heartbreak.
I have witnessed many love-struck people hang on for years to someone that has either left them for good, or kept stringing them along. Some of them have even married and had children with someone else, and yet, they still hang on. They often fervently believe their love interest will someday return to them and then they will live happily ever after. Well, the truth of the matter is that they will not. The other person has made their choice and walked away for a reason.
This new year, with all that has been going on in the world, it may be time to take a few deep breaths and have a self-reflective moment. Take a good, hard look at your life choices and your relationships.
If you are making unwise, self-sabotaging choices, consider what it may be that is not feeding your soul? What is it that is really missing in your life? Maybe it is time to release what no longer serves you. Simply let it go. Find your inner peace, and just be happy and content with yourself and who you truly are.
As a psychic advisor, I encounter the good, the bad and the ugly. I have seen much trauma and damage done, sometimes almost irreparable, to people in toxic relationships and love obsessions. Marriages of several years simply falling apart or ‘trusted’ partner walking out with zero notice. I have watched many go through failed relationship after failed relationship, always with the same results. The result is always the same: excruciating heartbreak.
When the victims of these bad relationship choices are encouraged to do some soul-searching, to see what it is inside of them that is compelling them to go back to the same type of person, time and time again, they are offended and become angry.