personal responsibility
Never Switch Your Vibration For Toxic, Negative People
Recently I was invited out for coffee by one of my very good friends. This lady is sweet, gentle, and extremely accepting of others. When we arrived at the coffee shop, she introduced me to another friend. I was very happy to make the acquaintance, as meeting new people is always a rather thrilling experience for me. I find it opens up a world of new ideas, opinions, and information.
Now, generally, I tend to operate in a gentle, fluid vibration, which is usually ideal, as it removes all anxiety or any kind of inner turmoil. But, suprisingly, meeting this lady my energy instantly switched to a harsh, resistant vibration, which is very much out of my character.
I could actually feel my body physically reacting to her presence. Since I was immediately aware of the change in the ‘vibes,’ I tried my best to establish a calmer and more accepting manner with this person and was temporarily at least somewhat successful in going back to my normally centered, grounded state. Our conversation were not exactly harmonious, but things did proceed in a slightly more friendly fashion.
During our chit chat, she discovered that I go bike riding every morning for a couple of hours. I live in a very small city, so it is no problem for 1me to hop on my bicycle and head out into the countryside, for what is usually the most enjoyable part of my day.
The route I normally take goes through a lovely area of farmland, where of course there are at times many dogs running about. Most farmers here do not restrain their animals, but it has never caused me any major problems. I love animals and actually enjoy seeing them.
Empowering Life Lessons From My Abusive Father
My father Jim had to grow up quickly in the tough pre-war years. He was the eldest of six children and he did not have an easy childhood, nor tolerant parents.
But life became even more challenging for Jim as he reached adulthood. My parents were married at the age of 21 and had three kids by 23, and another baby at 34.
Jim faced many challenges. As a result, to vent his frustration and process all the stress, he often took it out on those closest to him, namely his wife and children.
Let’s just say my father was not always the ideal husband and parent. It became so bad by the time I was an adult that he would do whatever he could to disrupt my life and my family in any way that you might imagine. The sad part was that he actually wanted to hurt us, as doing so gave him a bizarre sense of satisfaction and control over those closest to him.
I first became fully aware of my father’s desire to disempower his kids when I was about 22 years old. The year was 1982, and jobs were very hard to come by in the United Kingdom in those days. I had an office job but wanted something better. So, I decided to attend school for a year to learn shorthand and typing at the local technical college.
One day, I asked my dad if I could get a ride with him to college, because I had to sit an important exam at 2pm that day. He said I need not worry, as he would drop me off in plenty of time. But then he proceeded to make every excuse not to leave the house!
By quarter to two, I started to panic, as I could not possibly walk or catch a bus from my house to the college with so little time. At ten minutes to two, he finally agreed to take me to sit the exam, but then when we got in the car, he said he needed to go to the garage for gas. I looked at the fuel gauge and saw the car’s tank was full.
I suddenly realized he did not want me to sit the exam, as he did not want me to pass it and better myself and become more independent. Thankfully, his sabotage attempt failed, as I did pass the exam and went on to get a higher paying job.
Nagging Thoughts Are Life Lessons
Sometimes I do it too – we all do it. We sit there and rehash stuff in our minds…over and over. We beat ourselves up and say things like, “If only I would have done this”, or “If only I had not said that”.
This kind of thinking really is a waste of time. It can be very draining to sit and analyze things gone by and worry about the past.
Of course, it is certainly better to move with some discernment and caution, while we are going about our day, so we don’t make unnecessary mistakes or fall victim to this kind of regretful thinking later. But it is also important to know that no one is perfect.
Some go about their days not caring what they do or say, and neither do they ever feel the need to do this kind of obsessive thinking about the past. But the majority of us sometimes wonder if we could have done things differently, or feel the need to hold ourselves accountable for every thought, word, action and deed – and that is why we tend to go over things, time and time again.
When you find yourself engaging in this kind of thinking, just stop doing it. Thoughts that just replay events over and over again in your mind is such a waste of energy. Instead consider for a minute how the relevant events are actually a wonderful learning experience.
Those thoughts are there, bugging you, as an opportunity for growth. Ask yourself what you will do or say differently next time, and then you can go about the rest of your day with inner peace and comfort, knowing you that you have gained valuable new knowledge from the experience, and now you can turn it into wisdom for the future. People who learn from themselves and their actions can truly smile, knowing that they can ‘cruise’ along this cosmic wave called life at a higher altitude and higher level of thinking.
Conscious Conflict Resolution
Dealing with tension and conflict is one of the most challenging dynamics in friendships and relationships. We have all found ourselves in a shouting match with someone we love, or concluding an argument feeling awful and unresolved.
Getting to the root of an issue without all the drama sometimes feels impossible. But conflict resolution is a skill, and one that can be honed with practice and patience.
The following strategies are helpful in shifting from overreaction to consciously seeking resolution when faced with difficult conversations or conflict scenarios.
Pause For Self-Awareness
Pause and identify what you are feeling. Step back from the feeling and merely observe it, as well as any thoughts that come along with the feeling.
Recognize that ‘you’ are not the feeling; it is a simply a sensation you are experiencing. Often people will say they are ‘angry,’ but words are powerful and this indicates that you have identified with the anger. You are actually saying: ‘I am anger.’
Do not choose to ‘be anger.’ You are merely experiencing anger. Shifting this mindset can help to separate your rational mind, from the emotional sensation of anger (or hurt, or whatever feeling you may be experiencing).
Once you are able to observe your emotions and thoughts in this way, it becomes much easier to avoid reacting from them. By not reacting, you give yourself the opportunity to think about your response first, and consciously choose your course of action.
A Hopeful Spring Of New Beginnings
Spring is around the corner here in the Northern Hemisphere. Not only is the snow melting gradually, but Covid-19 is also slowly subsiding. Restaurants, gyms and theatres have finally reopened at full capacity, and it won’t be long now before mask mandates are at least partially lifted.
After two years of being ultra-cautious in one of the hardest hit pandemic hot-spots in Canada, this Spring will truly feel like a re-awakening into a brand new world for me!
It’s impossible not to feel a sense of joy and gratitude every year, as the days get longer and the weather loses its frigid edge, but this year’s season of reawakening seems especially blessed and hopeful.
However, against the backdrop of the horrors of war, adversity, and suffering experienced by people in other parts of the world, one must be particularly grateful. We are privileged to live in a place where we are safe, healthy, and comfortable.
Instead of complaining about trivial things, we must look around and count our blessings in our cozy corner of the world. We should choose to be happy for what we have, and appreciate the good things in our lives, no matter how small or simple they may seem.
Now is also an opportune time to regroup and reset our personal priorities, goals, and aspirations. For the first time in a long time we can now confidently begin to visualize our ideal future and take ambitious steps in the right direction. The Universe can only put it all together for us, once we set a clear intention for it.
It’s important to remember that visions boards, affirmations, prayer or visualizing are powerful tools in the manifesting process, but it takes a little more than to do the trick. We must also take some concrete steps and make some practical inroads, so that the Universe can conspire on our behalf to facilitate our success. Even the smallest of efforts will set things in motion.
It’s Always Darkest Before The Dawn
Concepts of the Divine, with an ever-changing definition, have been part of the human experience since the beginning of time. Most of the world’s people throughout history continue to recognize a place for divinity in life.
Our spiritual journey, throughout the ages, has been steeped in mystery and often, superstition and dogma. Organized religions have historically attempted to answer deep questions, and have sometimes provided comfort and solace to people during times of upheaval.
However, the most important questions have been left unanswered. For example, we know precious little about ancient, prehistoric cultures that worshiped the Sacred Feminine. Earliest recorded myths and legends have been lost or destroyed, and most stories that remain portray not only a divine battle of the sexes, but a difficult, contentious relationship between the divine and human beings.
The Greek gods, for example, were capricious and mean-spirited. They plotted all sorts of obstacles that humans either did, or did not overcome in order to survive. Guile and trickery also set the stage for many myths from various indigenous cultures, in early human-god myth making.
With the rise of monotheistic religions, mankind was taught to blindly accept whatever lot the almighty doled out, fairly or unfairly. Emphasis was placed on omnipotent power, absolute authority and greatness, beyond any human capacity to comprehend, much less participate in.
These attitudes toward humans’ relationship with God have been echoed in authoritarian family and community practices, and even the military forces of nations. God became the ‘Almighty Father in the Sky’ issuing strict orders. There was no room for questioning in an authoritarian family or society. “Because I said so,” was reason enough to blindly obey. Punishment for infractions or disobedience was swift and sure.
How To Avoid Empath Ego-Traps
Being an empowered empath is a wonderful gift and blessing. But the empath ‘label’ can also become problematic when it is misconceived by some as meaning more than it truly signifies.
There are very common ego-traps that some empaths and highly sensitive people get hung up on with regards their empathic experiences. These ego-traps can be very counterproductive, as it may actually be holding them back from meaningful personal growth and progressing our spiritual path.
These ego traps are easy to get wrapped up in, but they are not a sign of weakness or failure. The experience of being an empath is often intense and confusing. These ego-traps offer lessons for us that often go hand-in-hand with life as an empath.
Some of the typical empath ego-traps are as follows:
Empaths Always Know Best
Assuming we are always right about how we ‘read’ a situation or person, or needing to save everyone and be everybody’s ‘therapist.’ We may have a good read that something is amiss, or that someone is upset, but its unwise to assume we always know exactly why.
Often empaths will feel something from someone and decide for themselves why that person is feeling that way. This is a good way to create conflict and tension in relationships! Instead of assuming, rather ask.
And if the person doesn’t want to talk about it, try assuming it is not about you, and that maybe you have no idea what is really upsetting them. Start there. Give the person space and do not make it about you. Continue reading