mindset
Conscious Conflict Resolution
Dealing with tension and conflict is one of the most challenging dynamics in friendships and relationships. We have all found ourselves in a shouting match with someone we love, or concluding an argument feeling awful and unresolved.
Getting to the root of an issue without all the drama sometimes feels impossible. But conflict resolution is a skill, and one that can be honed with practice and patience.
The following strategies are helpful in shifting from overreaction to consciously seeking resolution when faced with difficult conversations or conflict scenarios.
Pause For Self-Awareness
Pause and identify what you are feeling. Step back from the feeling and merely observe it, as well as any thoughts that come along with the feeling.
Recognize that ‘you’ are not the feeling; it is a simply a sensation you are experiencing. Often people will say they are ‘angry,’ but words are powerful and this indicates that you have identified with the anger. You are actually saying: ‘I am anger.’
Do not choose to ‘be anger.’ You are merely experiencing anger. Shifting this mindset can help to separate your rational mind, from the emotional sensation of anger (or hurt, or whatever feeling you may be experiencing).
Once you are able to observe your emotions and thoughts in this way, it becomes much easier to avoid reacting from them. By not reacting, you give yourself the opportunity to think about your response first, and consciously choose your course of action.
The True Power Of Your Worst Nightmares
When I was 24 years old, I was a somewhat disempowered young lady who went to work for the city council. All the girls in the office had an active social life and a boyfriend, except me.
In fact, I was bullied for it and became a bit of a joke around the water cooler, to the extent that I could not properly concentrate on the task at hand and ultimately lost my job. Looking back, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. But, at the time, it did not feel like it.
About a year ago, I started to have a recurring dream that I was 24 again, and sharing an office with the same mean girls, supervised by the same misogynist boss. But this time I had a very different mindset.
In my dream, the boss had criticized my work. So, I pick up the documents he complained about to, walk up to his office, put it on his desk, and tell him politely to type his own letters in future. I was going home now, because I am no longer prepared to put up with his nonsense.
Well, if only I had the same courage back in the old days, I might have suffered far less emotional anguish! I felt really empowered in the dream, and it brought me the realization that I no longer have to suffer fools and that I need to stick up for myself more often. However, the dream also revealed to me that I still had not entirely made peace with the past, otherwise the dream would not be recurring.
The moral of the story is that dreams do not only reflect how we are doing in the present, and how far we have advanced in life, but also what we need to do to work on ourselves to be even better in the future. How powerful and life-enhancing is that!
Another compelling dream I have been having of late is of myself flying a light hovercraft over the estate where I lived as a child. I faced several challenging, traumatizing things growing up there, including poverty and domestic abuse. However, this liberating dream confirms that I have managed to rise above those childhood setbacks and obstacles, and I am now in control of my own life and destiny.
What Are Your Snapshots For The Year Ahead?
What does the future have in store for me? It’s a valid question after all the upheaval of life during the past two years. In fact this question is on so many minds at present, including my own.
The last two years have been difficult for most, if not all of us. We have all suffered loss, grief, stress, frustration, and anxiety. Regardless of what your personal views and beliefs may be regarding this difficult time in the world, what does matter is where you are mentally and spiritually at this moment.
This weekend may be a good time to recenter, align and ground your energy. Take some time out from all the mayhem today and do some meditation, prayer, visualization, or breath-work. Allow God, Source, Spirit, the Universe to fill you with positive energy, light and blessings, and release the negative thoughts and anxieties you may be holding on to.
Also, take some time to calmly contemplate and make a list of your goals, wishes, desires and dreams for the year ahead. Or better yet, create a vision board, manifesting box, or journal. Cut out pictures from old magazines, copy positive affirmations, and collect some trinkets to place on a board, in a box, or in a scrapbook.
Once it is complete, place your board, box or book somewhere in your home or office where you can look at it often. Take a little time every day to focus on it and ask yourself what each goal, wish or intention you have added to it truly means to you.
I have a brochure of new camera with a special lens on my vision board for this year. When I ask myself what it represents to me, I remind myself that my new dream camera sees the beauty in our world through a magical lens. It will bring out the brightest of colors. and the most beautiful scenery. It will also capture the vitality and magnificence of all my spirit totems (mostly eagles, red tail hawk, owls, sand hill cranes).
Your Thoughts Will Transform Your Life!
I have some fantastic news for you today! You can have a magical year if you choose it! The magic is within you. If you truly believe you are going to have a fantastic year ahead, you indeed will. What we think and choose to believe becomes our reality.
You don’t believe me? Well, think about this for a moment: I am sure you know a few fairly negative people whose lives are always in chaotic upheaval or consumed with toxic drama. You probably also know some amazingly optimistic, positive folks whose lives always seem blessed, happy and full of joy… even when things are not necessarily always going well for them. Their good karma inevitably comes to the rescue to bless them!
We create our destiny, and we do it with our thoughts. Let your thoughts direct your path to happiness, health, abundance, and good, positive people around you! You are more powerful than you may know, and it starts with your thoughts and how you choose to perceive things. Tuning into that higher frequency is where it is at!
If you want things to change for the better in your life you need to switch from being negative to thinking positive. The power is in your thoughts. What you choose to think is what you put out into the universe and what you will in return attract.
I have known many folks indulge in constant self-pity and blame others for where they are in life. No one else is responsible for where we are in life. We are in control of our lives and our own karma We are the ones who can make or break our own day, week, month, and year. It all starts with what we choose to focus on and what we chose to spend our time and energy on.
It’s time to take responsibility for where we are in life and to start making it happen. The time is now. Anything is possible. You just have to believe and take some action.
Reclaim Your Dreams In 2022
As we welcome 2022 today, let us cast off the heavy cloud of doubt and hopelessness of recent times and rise to reclaim a life of peace, health and happiness.
No matter where you are in the world, we have each experienced much uncertainty and trauma over the last two years. The global biological crisis that continues to plague public health everywhere has proven to be difficult and even devastating for all of us in various ways. For some oof us there has been intense loss, sorrow, and grief. Some of us have merely felt stuck or trapped, others emotionally drained and world-weary.
Some of us have utilized this period of uncertainty to forge a stronger relationship with Spirit and have found a more meaningful, mindful approach to life. My personal circumstances led me to embrace gratitude at every level of my life. I have become deeply thankful for everything in my life.
Metaphysically this challenging period in world history is symbolic of the great change that each of us is called to make in our lifetime. In believe the fact that our glorious planet has become environmentally polluted and desecrated by humanity set the tone for the present pandemic to emerge. Our species now reflects the state of planet upon which we exist. Indeed, both our species and the place we collectively call home are now in dire need of healing.
Many spiritual traditions teach that each of us has the innate power to transform our world through our dynamic personal energy that springs forth from a greater universal presence that is known to many by different names. For some this profound source of energy may manifest as an increase in purposeful prayer or meditation. For others this stream is a continuous movement of spiritual light that transmits to every corner of the world, a bold gleaming light that knows no boundaries.
Change your Habits, Change Your Life!
As 2022 comes to an end and the New Year is upon is, many of us are considering how we can improve our lives and become a better version of ourselves.
Today we might be sitting with our shiny new diary or journal, or a beautiful 2022 calendar full of inspiring affirmations, in the hope it will inspire us to lead healthier, happier, more fulfilling and successful life. But the single biggest thing that we can do to change our lives for the better and really smash our goals is to change our habits.
What we habitually do is who we will ultimately become. Our daily physical habits are our metaphysical destiny. In fact, research would suggest that approximately 95% of the things people do daily are purely habitual.
From the spiritual perspective, I always look to archetype of The Archer in the Wildwood Tarot deck as the positive symbology to help me break bad habits and create new, better ones. The Archer is a genuinely motivating card that symbolizes strength, direction, aim and focus. When it comes to habits, it reminds us to focus on the positive ones and that by doing so, we will achieve our goals by hitting our target. Gaze upon his symbology, and it should help give you the strength to do so.
For example, I am a chocoholic, the results of which is clearly evident around my middle-aged waistline! How do I personally break the habit of a lifetime and develop a healthier relationship with chocolate? Well, the guidelines are the same for any other goal we may have:
Remove The Temptation
As the saying goes: ‘out of sight, out of mind.’ My household will therefore be seeing far less sugar in the kitchen cupboards in 2022. This may seem somewhat an extreme measure, but it may help to change my family’s nutritional habits for the better. It is not so easy to maintain a sweet tooth when there is nothing to reaching out for to serve as a reward or an emotional crutch.
Being Relaxed Is Good
It is difficult for most of us to enjoy a few moments of deep relaxation and inner peace. The many pressures of modern life seldom affords us the bliss of such a ‘luxury.’
A relaxed mindset if vital for our spiritual well-being and soul growth. When we are in a relaxed state, we are better able to channel our higher self and be aware of what our angels and guides are saying to us. But when we are inundated with the chaos of the world, we cannot connect with that higher frequency and we miss all the good things spirit has to offer.
So, I asked spirit what busy humans can do to be more relaxed more often. I received the answer from a cashier who, after I had paid said goodbye with a smile I will never forget and said, “Being relaxed is good.”
I just nodded and said, “Yes, yes indeed it is.”
In our busy lives we forget how important it is to take some time out for self-care. And when we do, we realize what we have been missing!
I believe the best starting point is healthy sleep. Taking the time to get a good night’s rest empowers us to wake up and find that life doesn’t seem quite as difficult as it seemed the day before. Good, adequate sleep helps us see life through the lens of a more relaxed mindset.
Being well-rested is good.
A few additional lifestyle choices that are not so difficult to achieve can further enhance a relaxed state of mind. These include healthy eating and proper nutrition, exercise, taking warm baths, meditating, reading a good book before bedtime, and so on. Continue reading