highest good
You Don’t Have To Be Perfect
Whenever we are focused on a task at hand, whether it is career, business or personal, we tend to focus on our mistakes and worry about what we may be doing wrong. Will it meet expectations? Are we good enough? The loud voice of perfectionism in our ego mind is often saying, “You did not do it right, you did not do enough…you are not enough.”
But constantly striving for perfection and beating ourselves up when we cannot meet those impossible expectations, sabotages the very thing we are trying to achieve. It impacts every part of our lives and also affects people around us, including our friends, coworkers, family and life partners.
Setting unrealistic standards for ourselves and others leaves us constantly feeling disappointed in ourselves and let down by others, over and over again. The perfectionism we are striving for becomes front and center in our in relationships, our careers, our health and our overall well-being. The result is anxiety, low self-esteem, fear of failure, depression, and broken relationships.
Failed perfectionism leads us to constantly measuring our worth against others, and vulnerable to the opinions, criticisms, and judgments of others. Perfectionists are very concerned about what others will think or say.
Striving for perfection is also about a need for control, so that our lives and those we care about will work out perfectly as we had planned. But contrary to popular belief, perfectionism does not lead to lasting success and fulfillment.
Spirit Is Like A Lifeguard
I used to work in a Wisconsin tourist town in the early 90s, holding down two full-time jobs to pay my way through college. One of my employee benefits was a free admission pass to all the city’s water parks and other tourist attractions. I rarely had a day off, but whenever I did, I would relish splashing around in those lazy rivers and wave pools with childlike enthusiasm!
A popular feature at my favorite water park was a towering waterslide. At the top sat a lifeguard who would give the go-ahead for you to safely start sliding down, after the slider in front of you had cleared enough distance.
Our spirit guides are kind of like those water park lifeguards.
I remember doing a reading for myself around New Year’s Day 2016, regarding my wishes and goals for the future. I wanted my midlife crisis to be over after my divorce, and I craved to immerse myself full-time in my spiritual work to gain respect and personal fulfillment.
Seven years later, I’m still working on some of those 2016 resolutions, but I have meanwhile realized that Spirit has held me back from achieving these goals earlier in my life, as I had karmic obstacles blocking my progress.
I used to be in a loveless marriage that was a karmic ball and chain around my ankle. For example, when I faced a major health challenge years ago, all my ex could focus on was the economic loss, since I wasn’t able to work at the time. I recall someone in an online support group asking him, “Don’t you love your wife? Then support her!”
We Should Be More Like The Turtle
Most people seldom give themselves permission to take a breather and just relax. As a hypnotherapist, I often see clients for stress relief sessions. In this case, they usually feel it is more justified for them to take some time out, because they are paying for a form of professional healthcare. After all, they made an appointment for the session and their doctor referred them. So, it must be okay.
Many people cannot even relax on a vacation! They feel they absolutely must do all the tourist things, even if they are tired, or the money they spent of the trip will be wasted. Or they feel compelled to spring clean the hotel room, instead of lying on the beach. Only to feel they need a second vacation to recover from the first vacation once they return home.
In the good old days, folks used to simply take a ‘joy ride’ somewhere with no real purpose or destination in mind. They did it purely for the enjoyment and the adventure. It was a standing joke in my family that if you chose to get in a car with my dad, you had better have the entire day off, because you never knew where you would wind up or what time you would get back home.
My kids still reminisce about our family taking a ride during the holidays to see all the Christmas lights and decorated homes. We used to stop for hot chocolate with marshmallows and everyone received a homemade cinnamon candy cane. It was the tradition.
Today, we live in such a busy, fast-paced world in which we feel guilty for taking time to take care of ourselves. But what is more important: the journey or destination? We all need to rest and restore our body, mind, and spirit on a regular basis. Neglecting one’s self-care is a prescription for poor long-term health, and making bad life choices.
The Truth About Ego And Spirit
Having a strong ego may be just as important as having a strong spirit. However, it can become a problem when we are confused or conflicted between the two, and do not realize that one is tied to the other.
Ego is all about our sense of self. It is about our self-worth, self-belief and how we feel we compare to others. Having a healthy sense of self-esteem is vital for our happiness and well-being.
For example, if someone chooses to stay in a toxic relationship due to their low self or sense of self is essential for our mental and emotional well-being. We must not confuse having a healthy ego with an over-inflated one.
People who have healthy egos do not think in terms of bold versus meek, or overbearing versus subdued. It is not about dominance or submission for them. They only view themselves as being worthy and competent, and strive to improve their life and become the best possible version of themselves. Self-love is not self-righteousness. People with a strong ego can confidently navigate whatever life throws their way without losing their sense of self.
However, those with an over-inflated, toxic ego tend to be arrogant, self-important and more concerned with how others are doing instead of their own achievements. They tend to believe they are so much more worthy and successful than everyone else, and constantly judge others for their mistakes and failures. Big egos are not very ‘healthy’ at all!
Also, when we strive for bigger or better things for ourselves, it is not only a case of satisfying our ego. Spirit operates with a similar agenda. Our soul or spirit is in fact strongly connected to our sense of self. This is why we traditionally say someone is in ‘low spirits,’ meaning they are feeling sad or depressed. But when someone is in ‘good spirits,’ they may have had happy news or some good fortune.
Why We Need To Give Up Hope
I am not someone who believes much in having ‘hope.’ I never hope for things. To me ‘hoping’ means ‘clutching at straws’ and ‘selling myself short.’ To merely hope for something is to remain in uncertainty and demonstrates a lack of trust and faith in the abundance of the Universe.
I learned this the hard way in my own life. In the past, whenever I used to ‘hope’ for a change or outcome in my life, it seldom brought me anything worthwhile. In fact, it usually just prolonged the misery.
The notion of ‘hope’ reminds me of the popular adage: “I’ll believe it when I see it.” People often say this whenever they deem something impossible. And herein lies the problem with the word ‘hope,’ as it carries the same negative vibe: “I don’t believe it likely or possible, until proven otherwise.”
This kind of intentional energy is contrary to the creative power we carry within as spiritual beings. Constantly expressing doubt and skepticism is certainly not a sign of higher consciousness or spiritual awareness. Instead of demanding proof for what we wish for, what we should be saying instead is: “I’ll see it when I believe it.” This carries a completely different vibration, don’t you agree?
Do you find yourself being more of a ‘hoper,’ instead of a believer? If so, then you may find it helpful to change this kind of negative, defeatist energy when you need a change in circumstances or you are wanting something positive to manifest in your life.
The Intuitive Benefits Of Meditation
Meditation led me to a major spiritual awakening and increased psychic awareness. Meditation allows us to become more spiritually aware, enlightened, and more open to the spirit realm.
When I first started meditating, I would often become distracted or even fall asleep. It used to frustrate me, because I feared I might ever be able to achieve a proper state of meditation. But I persevered and kept trying for a few minutes every night. Eventually, I found that I could get into a meditative state more easily, without losing focus or drifting off. So, be patient and give yourself time in the beginning to get used this different state of consciousness.
Once you become more skilled and meditate frequently, you will soon notice that you are becoming much more intuitive. You will feel more tuned in to other people and your surroundings, and may begin to pick up on more energetic information.
A powerful way to increase your psychic awareness using a meditative state is focus on any point of light or object and then ‘zone out’ as if you are daydreaming. I like to practice by focusing on a silver picture frame in my bedroom. A crystal or candle flame are also good options.
Once you have become good at entering the meditative state by focusing on something, try to do it when you are out and about. You may begin to notice that people and objects look somewhat ‘hazy,’ as if they have a glare around them. This is actually the aura or energy field of the object or person.
With frequent mindful meditation your metaphysical awareness will become more heightened over time. In a state of daily meditative awareness, it feels as if God, Source, Spirit, the Universe begins to speak to you in secret.
Getting The Answer When Spirit Speaks
People have told me over the years that they never hear spirit, or that their guides do not speak to them at all. This is simply not true. Spirit speaks to all of us daily. Spirit is never the problem; we are! It is up to us to be more aware, to pay attention and listen, and then to follow the guidance, heed the warnings, or implement the answers.
In my experience, this is usually due to a lack of spiritual awareness, and sometimes also based in fear. Our spirit guides and angels are not to be feared. They are there to bring you to a place of receiving clarity on what you should be doing with your life and what steps to take to make the right decisions or choices as you move forward.
Another problem I find is the tendency of some people to ask spirit a question and when they do not like the answer, to continue asking the same question, repeatedly, hoping that spirit will eventually give them the answer they want…and not the truth intended for their highest good.
This happens especially with clients who consult with numerous psychics. They will keep calling different readers, hoping to eventually find someone who will give them the answer they are hoping to hear. Or they will repeat the same question during a reading by asking it in different ways, in the hopes of changing the outcome of the reading.
In these cases, the actual question is usually not really the issue at hand. What more often truly matters is why there is the need to ask the same thing over and over again? Where is the obsession coming from? What is causing this persistent state of denial and self-delusion? Only once the person’s true motivation is unraveled and addressed, will they be able to accept the truth and move forward.