emotional responses
To Hate Is A Self-Destructive Choice
When I was in middle school, around the age of 13 or so, I remember an older, more popular girl used to constantly bully me. I also remember coming home from school and telling my mother about it. I told my mother that I hated that girl, but she very sternly said, “Oh no, you don’t hate anyone!”
I defiantly replied, “Oh yes, I do!”
My mother then patiently replied, “Okay, well if you are going to insist on hating her, please go and do it somewhere else, young lady. I do not want to hear about it anymore!”
She never explained to me why she felt it was inappropriate for me to hate anyone. I didn’t figure this out until much later in my life.
My own daughter is now also a teenager and she sometimes comes home from school with similar complaints. A girl at school has been spreading false rumors about her. Just like I did all those years ago, my daughter also told me how she hated this girl. And I replied the same way my mother did, except I also explained that hate only breeds more hate.
To hate someone or something only hurts you, no one else. My daughter hating this person she feels has wronged her, will only cause her to hurt herself more with negative emotion, every time she thinks about this person. Every time she tells a friend or family member about this girl, she will be refueling her own negative fire. Thus, she will only end up hurting herself more.
The other girl does not feel every occasion my daughter is upset, or reliving the hurtful situation that occurred. In reality, my daughter is punishing herself every time she thinks about how this person wronged her. This is what we all tend to do, when we find ourselves in similar or hurtful situations.
Beware The Power Of The Quartz Crystal
I love crystals and stones and have traveled all over the world to retrieve some of these beautiful gems of color and purpose. They carry with them amazing energy and metaphysical healing properties.
I have used crystals and stones very successfully in helping many of my clients rebalance and heal their lives, be it for the purpose of health, love, relationship, career, business, finances, or personal growth. Working with stones can assist you in achieving your goals and fulfilling your needs.
There is however one stone that I respect and revere more than the others, to the extent that I never recommend it as a ‘quick-fix’ remedy to others. This precious mineral is the pure quartz crystal. It is a very powerful energy conductor that essentially has a ‘mind of its own.’ It has no compassion, just purpose. Its energy is very direct.
The clear quartz is a stone that needs to be used to do a specific job of goodwill or serve a benevolent purpose, because it can magnify energies as much as tenfold and even higher. It must be used with great respect, for it can be harmful and even dangerous if used carelessly.
A clear quartz crystal casually worn as jewelry, for example, amplifies your mood and personality. If you are at peace with yourself and the world, and in a happy place, you will experience even more joy and happiness, and also spread it to everyone around you. But if you are angry, anxious, or depressed, the exact opposite will be true.
In other words, a little road rage, for example, could escalate to a disastrous scenario if you happen to be wearing a quartz crystal pendant. Oh my, things could get very bad! I therefore do not recommend people wear quartz crystals as everyday jewelry, because even the slightest shift in mood or emotional reaction could create havoc and derail the wearer’s day.
The Self-Healing Miracle Of Letting Go
In the mid-90s, I had the opportunity to attend The Sedona Method Technique Teacher Training course in Arizona. The experience pierced the core of my being and changed my life forever.
Initially, I was reluctant to go, because I was living in Michigan at the time with my husband and two young daughters. My youngest was around a year old and our older daughter was only five. We had not been living in Michigan very long as we had only recently moved there, and I was terribly worried about leaving them for two weeks!
Nevertheless, I convinced myself to go, because my husband had gone to a previous workshop and raved about how it transformed his life. I sensed it would be good tool to incorporate into my psychic readings and metaphysical work.
When I arrived at the workshop there were attendees from all over the world, including psychiatrists, psychologists, and even scientists. To be honest, I felt a little awkward being thrown in with a bunch of ‘genius nerds’ with various fancy post-graduate degrees. It was a bit intimidating to feel that many of them probably had a much better understanding and formal education on human behavior than I did. However, that did not prevent me from also learning this wonderful technique.
The Sedona Method is based on the concept of Emotional Intelligence (EQ). It is different from intellectual intelligence, because it refers to our ability to recognize and regulate our own emotions, and how skilled we are at using social awareness to find solutions to daily challenges and life problems.
The Sedona Method therefore teaches one how to improve your EQ. In the same way we can go to the gym to strengthen a muscle, or do brain training puzzles to improve our memory, we can also train and develop our emotional intelligence.
Our natural impulse when something makes us sad, angry, or fearful, is to resist and fight back, or shut down emotionally to it. Emotional intelligence requires that we take a step back, take a breath, and release the urge to go with a kneejerk reaction of firing back or shutting down.
Finding The Courage To Heal
All of us will experience some heartache, adversity and grief in our life. It may be a serious health scare, the ending of a relationship or marriage, the tragic loss of a loved one, retrenchment from a ‘secure’ job, sudden bankruptcy, becoming homeless due to a foreclosure, or becoming the victim of abuse and violence.
These major setbacks in life can be truly devastating, and the pain and trauma extremely difficult to rise up from again. In such times of loss or trauma, it is vital to allow yourself to feel your true emotions. To effectively process and heal from traumatic events. hardship and bereavement, we must acknowledge our raw feelings. Grief and trauma are deeply private and personal journeys with no rules and no deadlines.
However, do not allow the ego to keep you trapped indefinitely in a place of anger, bitterness, hopelessness, or self-pity. If left unattended for too long, our initial emotional responses to the negative event can become toxic in a way that simply keeps us away from our truly divine self and our future happiness.
Yes, it is always hard work to release intense loss or trauma and move forward. It takes courage, self-awareness, and inner strength. However, if you proceed with faith, trusting and believing that this too shall pass, and that there is a reason for everything, even if you don’t understand it right now, you will ultimately be able to move forward in a healthy and productive way.
No matter what happens to you in life, you will grow stronger and wiser by working through it. Regardless how intense the dark night of your soul may be, move forward step by step, day by day, trusting that you can heal and will become stronger. Focus on self-care and loving yourself and hold the faith that better days are coming into your life. We all deserve to be happy and have inner peace.
Strategies For Manifesting A Successful Relationship
Over the years I have worked with many clients who either want to improve an existing relationship or manifest a new relationship. In these readings, spirit consistently suggests three simple spiritual practices that can radically change our relationships and romantic energy.
We tend to get stuck by over-analyzing and over-thinking our love lives, to the extent that we develop a lot of emotional charge and resistance in relationship matters. With the guidance of spirit, I have found these three simple strategies to be very helpful in moving our love energy in a more healthy and happy direction, in a very short time. Try these strategies in your daily spiritual practice. It could help you finally step into the love life of your dreams!
Dreamwork
Begin your relationship work in the dream state. Before going to bed each night, ask your angels, guides and higher self to invite your current love partner, new love interest or a future partner to join you for an ‘astral date.’ I like to think of it as ‘etheric couples counseling’ on the astral plane.
Meeting your lover in your dreams can ignite a significant energy shift in your relationship life, which will eventually translate into the emotional, mental and physical realms. In this altered state of consciousness the higher selves of you and your partner do the work with the support of spirit. The limitations, judgments and preconceptions of your ego or ‘lower self’ are all deactivated while you are asleep and in the dream state, and therefore unable to interrupt or interfere with the process.
The Wisdom Of Intuitive Eating
I remember reading an article many years ago about a research study conducted with children suffering from various nutritional deficiencies and food allergies. The scientists invited about 20 of these kids into a room with a table on which there was a variety of foods on display. They allowed each child to help themselves to any of the food they preferred. The outcome was astounding!
Each child chose a selection of food that their body naturally would tolerate the best. In other words, they instinctively chose foods that would not a bad for them or cause an allergic reaction. Furthermore, the children also chose more foods containing the nutrients their little bodies were lacking.
This confirmed for me the fact that our intuition or inner guidance system is not merely something we rely on when we are facing major life challenges, or when we are engaging in some form of spiritual practice. Intuition guides us every day in everything we do.
Intuitive eating is very much about honoring the temple which houses our soul. I believe we could potentially become nutritionally much healthier if we learn to trust our intuition more when we make dietary choices, instead of following fad diets and food trends.
Intuitive eating is about challenging modern society’s ‘food police,’ as well as the negative self-talk about eating and food choices many of us tend to engage in.
Intuitive eaters soon find that they eat just the right amount of various foods to nourish and satisfy their body, as they learn to truly recognize their body’s signals. Once you can do this, you are on your way to building a healthy relationship with food.
Be gentle with yourself. Avoid those magazines and influencer images on social media that prompts you to put pressure on yourself to look a certain way. Don’t give energy to such things. Instead, listen to your own body. You are uniquely you, and so is your body. When you express self-love within, you will also express it outwardly. Self-love ‘turns head’s like no designer outfit can!
Have Your Guides Led You Astray?
“My guides must hate me! They only lead me to things that cause me pain,” one of my clients recently complained. It is also not the first time I have heard something like this.
But how can this be? If our angels, guides and ancestors are here to help us, why do they lead us to things that cause us pain, heartache, or grief? Is spirit perhaps not actually guiding us, but hurting us instead? And if that is the case, what are we to do about it?
In my years of working as a professional psychic and energy healer, as well as my personal life experiences, I have come to the following conclusion on this matter. Our guides have only one mission: to love and support us unconditionally. Any deviation from our highest good is never due to the guidance of spirit, but instead the result of one or more of the following:
Ego Interference
Often, when we believe we are ‘following our guides,’ we are actually following a wounded part of our ego that continues to create a reality of pain – because that is all that we know. Your guides will never encourage you to do anything that causes you, or another person harm. Your spirit guardians will never make you feel belittled, intimidated or frightened.
Now, it is important to note they may steer you towards life choices and experiences that may make you feel somewhat uncomfortable or challenged, because it is outside of your comfort zone and they are wanting you to grow and expand. But there is a difference between being gently nudged towards personal growth and soul expansion, and simply being frightened or emotionally crushed
Lack Of Listening
The fundamental question with spirit guidance is whether are you truly listening? Sometimes we are in so much anger or pain that our guides are actually communicating with us, and guiding us, in vain, because we are unable to hear it clearly.
Explore ways to turn off the destructive self-talk and emotional intensity, and work on tapping into your inner guidance and listening to your inner voice.
For example, ask your angels, guides or ancestors to work with you in the dream state. Once the conscious mind that is hurting so much is asleep, it is much easier for our guides to come in and do their work.