control
Dealing With Dysfunctional Family Dynamics
Family dynamics can be tremendously complex. These relationships are multi-layered and may have played out for ages. Next to love relationship, and then business, family relationships are at the top of the list for many of my clients.
For many family is a love-hate scenario, which can be particularly challenging. It is said we cannot choose our family, but we can choose how and when, or if, we interact with them. However, severing family ties is a big step and not one taken lightly. By the time this happens the drama, or abuse has been ongoing for years – many times beginning in childhood. A childhood that in spite the passage of time is as fresh and painful as it was when it occurred. If money and or control are woven into the mix, the matter doubles in complexity.
It’s an unfortunate truth that many of the people that I speak with, especially empaths, intuitives and highly sensitive people, have family histories that are rife with conflict, and often also abuse. They often share a feeling of not belonging, being singled out, or being the scapegoat of the family. The suffering is long-term and tragic, with the scars running deep.
Why Empaths Fall Victim To Narcissists
Why are narcissists and empaths often drawn to one another? This is a phenomena many of us empaths fall victim to. Which, at first, may seem odd, since empaths and narcissists are polar opposites! But, maybe that is the key? Opposites attract.
But, what’s more profound, is that the narcissist preys upon the empath’s dedication to healing those who are emotionally wounded or scarred. By nature empaths are deeply caring, compassionate people. The empath’s purpose in life is to support healing in others, yet due to their intense sensitivity, empaths often struggle to create healthy boundaries for themselves, giving in to martyrdom, victimhood, co-dependency, and chronic self-sacrifice.
An empath will do anything in their power to help or heal another. And, will not easily give up or walk away. This makes them prime targets for the narcissist.
There are different types of narcissists. But, for this article, I will discuss the most common. And, that is the Amorous Narcissist. They tend to measure their self-worth and grandiosity by how many sexual conquests they have conquered. This type of person is known for using their charm to ensnare others with attention, flattery and gifts. But, they dispose of their target once they become bored or when their needs have been served. The target typically won’t so much as get an explanation, much less a goodbye.
Connecting To The Universal Power
I have been in a very contemplative situation lately; probably because there have been so many deaths of loved ones that I have been so attached to. We all accept the idea that one day we will leave this existence and move on to another. But what happens in between? Where do we go immediately after leaving this realm? Is it safe? Will we enjoy it there? Do we get to come back? All of the above may be a small part of what plagues us, while we are trying to establish and maintain ourselves in the meantime.
My greatest desire for myself right now is to find a way to connect to the grand Universal Power and to solidify that connection. This will enable me to go about my daily existence with inner peace and calmness, and not allow myself to get mired down in the minutia of circumstances that I cannot change.
My first step is to understand why I am here. I feel part of the reason I incarnated into this world was first of all to help repair my karmic debt, by becoming immersed in some pain and suffering as a human being. There is no other world that I have been made aware of that would enable me to do this.
Signs You Are Being Gaslighted
You’re crazy, that never happened. You’re too sensitive. You’re making things up. No one else has ever said that about me. I get along with everyone else except you. I’ve never had this problem with anyone else but you. Everyone says you’re crazy. I’m not cheating, so maybe you are… since you are accusing me. You are too sensitive.
These are just some of the things you might hear when someone is gaslighting you, when you have confronted them with their own issues or manipulations.
Gaslighting is a form of abuse that is more common in romantic relationships, but it can occur in landlord and tenant relationships, friendships, employee and employer relationships, and even in relationships with neighbors. It is basically the art of messing with someone’s mind or reality. Sometimes it is done in an obvious way, right in front of the person, and sometimes it is under the radar and you don’t you know who is gaslighting you, or even if you are actually being gaslighted. Continue reading
Controlling Your Psychic Powers
When fictional characters, like Luke Skywalker in Star Wars, train to use their abilities, one of the first things their mentors, such as Yoda, tell them is that they must learn control. This is just as important to us as we use our own metaphysical abilities in the real world.
The first and foremost reason for this is that we have to use any psychic ability given to us for our own good, and that of others. If we use these abilities without mindful intent behind them, or with hostile intent, they can be very counter-productive.
So, how is control learned? An easy way to start is by ridding ourselves of negative influences and objects. As the ancient system of Feng Shui dictates, our environments reflect our internal states. First we must ground ourselves, by connecting our energies with those of the physical and spiritual realms. Continue reading
All That Cumbersome Impossibility
If you can change just one thing about the world we live in, what would it be?
The typical response from most people would probably be something along the lines of a standard beauty pageant response, such as ‘world peace’ or ‘global warming’.
Sure, these are all noble causes, but do they solve more than one problem?
What if there was an often overlooked and a very basic adjustment we could all make, something that could potentially revolutionize the society we live in? I mean, what would happen if we all simply gave up our attempts at trying to control, manipulate and coerce others into being what we expect them to be, or to behave in ways we expect them to? It may not solve all our problems, but it might just get us much further than we currently imagine possible. Continue reading