relatives
Be Mindful Who You Allow Into Your Energy Field
We all know someone who is personally so miserable they want everyone around them to be equally miserable too. You can usually tell by how they talk, behave, and treat others.
Due to a recent encounter I personally had with a relative who is acts like this, I decided to ask spirit for insight and guidance on how to deal with such people. How does a spiritually conscious person handle someone who makes us feel as though we need to walk on eggshells whenever we are around them?
Spirit showed me that we all have those relatives or friends who are obviously very unhappy and choose to take it out on others. Spirit says the first step is to not participate in any argument they try to initiate. Simply don’t respond. To argue it takes two people. So simply do not buy their drama.
It can get very uncomfortable when such a negative, toxic individual engages with you. They can make us feel really bad – often for no reason other than wanting to bring you down to their low frequency. Don’t allow them to push your buttons. By not giving in to their ploy, you remain connected to the Light,
Understand that some people are in a very fragmented place of spiritual disconnect and emotional dysfunction, often because they never dealt with their emotional issues on a deeper level. So, because of that they take it out on others.
Spirit says we must seek to create some healthy space and set boundaries with these people. We can be compassionate and understanding, without becoming their victims or emotional punchbags. It is your spiritual right to take back your power.
Making Time For Our Loved Ones
With our hectic schedules in a fast-paced digital world, and everyone seeming to need something urgently, our lives can be crammed with to-do lists featuring mountains of tasks, duties, and obligations.
Sometimes it is hard to believe how quickly the time goes by and how long it’s been since we’ve last spent quality time with family and relatives. Social media ‘likes’ can never substitute meaningful interaction and connection with our loved ones.
We must create opportunities to maintain these connections, foster better relationships, and touch base with young and old. We will regret not doing so someday, when it is no longer possible or viable. I have been witness to many of my clients over the years having to reach out to their loved ones in spirit with a mediumship reading, because many things were never said or shared while they were still in this life.
For years, I used to call my 95-year-old aunt every weekend. She lives about 3,500 kilometers away in a different province. So, I haven’t seen her in a few years, more recently specifically due to the Covid-19 pandemic.
She is the last remaining relative in our family from that generation, on both sides of the family. She doesn’t hear well anymore, so the calls usually aren’t very long, but she always tells me how much she appreciates hearing my voice.
My dear aunt still has a wonderful sense of humor and sometimes she enjoys reminiscing about my mom and her other siblings. Although she has four grown children, as well as grandchildren and great grandchildren, it always seems to bring a spark of joy to her day whenever we catch up and share a quick story or two.
Remember To Reach Out This Holiday Season
The holidays have been different these past two years. We are normally accustomed to planning big get-togethers, buying many gifts, preparing lots of food and finally gathering with family and friends. In the past, these gatherings were a given, whenever feasible, and both small and large get-togethers were marked with fun, laughter, music, food and festivities.
But a global pandemic has been curtailing our carefully laid plans and we had to be to be innovative to stay connected with our loved ones. Some people live in areas with very little impact. Others are in hot spots. Regardless of your own current situation, it is important to include people safely, to whatever level you can under the circumstances.
Please remember to touch a few lonely hearts this time of year, even if it is just by way of a quick phone call or text message. If there are people you know who live alone or are unable to join their usual groups to celebrate, do whatever you can to reach out to them and make them feel included in the celebrations. Connect virtually, send a parcel or invite them to a future event to look forward to.
Extend your reach to those less fortunate as well. This time of year can be particularly difficult for those in need. Contribute to a charity, or reach out to a volunteer group and offer your services. A willing pair of helping hands is always appreciated.
Amid all the chaos and excitement of the season, also take some time to be good to yourself. We tend to run ourselves ragged, while it just isn’t possible to keep going at maximum speed without a well-deserved break. It is important to remember that we cannot give what we ourselves do not have. Your career or business will always be there. Recharge your batteries so you will be rested, confident, and energized to help others.
Dealing With Negative Energy This Holiday Season
What do you do when you have to go to a family holiday gathering you have dreaded all year? What is supposed to be a positive, happy reunion this time of the year is often a negative, argumentative and energetically draining occasion!
I know from experience that diverse personalities show up to these types of gatherings and over the years I have learned to keep quiet, and smile, and muster through it. I have helped several of my clients lately find solutions to deal with these challenging situation.
There was the uncle that swears around the children who my client is trying to raise in a loving, Christian environment. I have also helped a client find out why her sisters-in-law and mother-in-law constantly gossip about her behind her back. I have helped bring light to a client’s ongoing problems with her siblings’ argumentative nature.
I want you to know that the choice is yours if you choose to deal with these people. Remember you always have free will, even in the most dire circumstances. You don’t have to be around family members who steal your energy and drop their poison of negative energy and comments on you.
It’s unhealthy to put yourself in situations that are uncomfortable, especially when the environment is saturated with dis-ease. Sometimes you have to exercise your right to say: “No thank you, I will pass!” If you do this, you will find you have more energy for those that do treat you well and don’t talk about you behind your back.
Also, do not allow yourself to feel guilty that your not going to attend. Make positive changes this holiday season by saying no to unnecessary stress, negative people and toxic energy. Embrace your own assertiveness for the betterment of your health and mental well-being.
Sometimes It’s Okay To Keep Your Distance!
Many of us have that one relative we do get along with. In every family there is a ‘Cousin John’ or an ‘Aunt Lydia’ who we simply cannot stand. Try as we might, we just cannot find it in our hearts to love them unconditionally.
In my case it is an uncle who’s views and opinions I just cannot tolerate. I despise all forms of racism, misogyny, and bigotry, and I am also an avid supporter of the LGBTQ community. I have no patience with people who criticize or belittle others for who they were born to be. It is unacceptable and despicable.
For many years now I have been consciously practicing healthy boundaries with relatives and people in general. I preach it! Healthy boundaries are vital for one’s mental health, personal growth and emotional well-being.
My Grandmother and I got along so well when she was in this life. We were like two peas in a pod. When she eventually came to live with us later in her life, there was however one issue that caused tension between us – her son.
My uncle was so out of line, in so many ways that I just could not tolerate having him anywhere near me. He is an extremely hateful man who has no qualms about freely spewing his vitriolic prejudice, verbal abuse and bigoted views in front of anyone who cares to listen, including the children in the family.
My grandmother stubbornly remained loyal to her son through it all, and she could now understand why I could not accept him. She said that it was such a shame that we could not all get along, while I felt it as a shame that he is so hateful. She would make excuses for him, saying for example that he was bullied in school. But I felt he should work on himself, instead of hating on other folks for no reason. She could not see my perspective from her way of thinking. Continue reading
Shine Your Heart Light This Holiday Season
Times have been tough this year. The alignment of the stars have not been overly kind to most of us. Public health crises, economy, politics, mayhem. And in this atmosphere relationships are even tougher than ever to navigate, especially with Venus and Pluto aligning in Scorpio.
My beloved dad, who passed twelve years ago, often said, “It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.” Situations or people may appear hopeless and dark in these times, but it is important to remember that even the smallest flicker of just one tiny candle can shine a light for others to hold on to. Astrologer Pam Gregory, reminds us to breath into our heart centers, to raise our vibrations. In doing so, each one of us can be that tiny candle, flickering in the dark.
The holidays will bring families together. But holidays can either be celebratory occasion of merriment and cheer… or a war zone of toxic viewpoints and unwelcome meddling. It can often be an unresolved issues ‘free-for-all.’ A nosy sibling might tell you what they think, while you did not ask their opinion! Or, Uncle Bob may dip a little too frequently into the spiked eggnog, drowning all the fa-la-la in his wake.
It occurs to me now that the happy Bing Crosby tune Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate The Positive I heard on the radio earlier was no accident.
You’ve got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between
You’ve got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene
Dealing With ‘Unawakened’ Friends And Family
Spiritual awakening is a profound shift in our perception that forever alters the way we experience life. But after we have made the shift it can be difficult to relate to less spiritually aware friends and relatives and leave one feeling lonely and deeply isolated.
The following strategies can be helpful in cultivating more harmony between yourself and ‘unconscious’ people without compromising your own energy vibration.
COMPASSION AND EMPATHY
At one time you were also not awakened. Think back to what that was like. What kind of thoughts dominated your mind? How did you feel about your life? How did you feel in general? The truth is, although you’ve gone through a spiritual awakening, you can still relate to those who have not. You have a point of reference for this.
Someone who is unconscious typically doesn’t have a pleasant inner world, because they aren’t intentionally governing it. Think back to what your life and most importantly – your relationship with yourself and your mind – looked like before your awakening. What did your own resistance look like? At some point your perspective shifted. But prior to that point – how receptive were you to changing your views and ideas? Especially when a family member came to you and said, “Hey, you’re doing it wrong.”
Put yourself in their shoes. Now that you’ve awakened you have the pleasure to start putting it to use in a way that serves the highest and best good of all. Remember that every soul is a spiritual being, and just because you have awakened to this fact, does not make you ‘better than’ anyone else. This is a trap that the ego likes to throw up early, and often along the spiritual path.
The ego is something we must constantly be mindful of. You are not more spiritual because you are vegan, or because you meditate, or because you do Yoga. If you are living in judgment of others through these practices, you are trapped in ego. Be mindful of yourself and come back to a state of compassion and empathy. Allow people to awaken in their own time.