selflessness
The Key To A Lasting Relationship Is Inner Peace
One of the most consistent issues that often come up in relationship readings is what I call the ‘peace vibe.’ And this kind of inner peace is associated with our capacity to trust in an abundant universe. Most of my clients believe there is a divine power greater than us, but trusting that this power can help us create a positive momentum in our lives is another story entirely!
It is said that Albert Einstein once remarked that the most important decision we have to make in this life is whether we believe in a friendly, or hostile universe. This is the foundational question when talking about whether we are in the ‘vibe of peace,’ or not. If someone is constantly waiting for the proverbial ‘shoe to drop,’ they are likely not living in peace.
You see, our point of attraction is determined by our vibes (energy vibration), which is why inner peace is such an important concept in manifesting a lasting, successful relationship. Trust is the key foundation for all relationships. Sure, all relationships also pose an element of risk, but a hyper-focus on the risk will only create a mental and emotional environment that does not facilitate a happy and healthy relationship. In fact, with my experience of doing love and relationship readings for the past 20 years, I would go as far as to say that without trust there really is no relationship.
So, how does this work? Well, have you ever noticed that highly critical people will always find something or someone to judge or criticize? There is never a lack of reasons for criticism from disapproving or disparaging people. The same is also true when there is a lack of inner peace. Chaos naturally follows chaotic people, while people who choose serenity and joy experience more serenity and joy in their lives.
Nurture Your Friendships In These Difficult Times
My how time flies! And the older I become, the quicker it seems to go. Looking at my calendar this morning I was reminded that we are now well into the Fall, or Autumn. The year 2020 has indeed had its particular challenges, and soon we will all have to be ready for yet another journey around the Sun.
What has 2020 been teaching you? For me, the difficulties and drama of this year reminded me how important our relationships are. Our relationships with our partners, children, relatives, coworkers and friends, as well as our relationship with nature and spirit.
This crazy year made me realize once again how easily we take for granted the people who add value to our lives. This is especially true of our friends, who basically have no obligation to be a part of our lives. For many of us, these are the people who have kept us sane and kept us going during the Covid-19 pandemic. They are often the people who constantly enhance our lives no end, month after month, and year after year. But do we make enough of an effort to always look out for them too?
Please consider the following when it comes to nurturing your friendships, in good times and bad. It will help them to blossom and grow.
Show Your Friends They Matter
While lockdowns and social distancing may have prevented you from seeing your friends in person, you can still show them how much you care by sending a simple text, a small gift, or hand-written note, or even a video message, just to let them know you are thinking of them during these challenging times. You may never know how much such a small gesture might mean to them. Continue reading
Creating Space For Divine Love
Love has a life of its own. In its true, pure form and spiritual essence, love is a transcendent energy emanating from God – the supreme loving and lovable Source. When love descends from this uppermost divine realm of origin and takes seed in our heart, we can know it is an act, and element of grace that we receive.
When the seed of love is planted in our heart, it is to be watered, nurtured, cultivated, and protected with our life and soul. Love needs space to grow, and nourishment to flourish. It is the quality of consciousness that creates this space and atmosphere for love to thrive.
When tending to the garden of the heart, we must first examine and prepare the foundation. Just as flowering plants would struggle to grow in dry soil, so too will love not readily emerge from a hardened heart. It requires softness, flexibility and receptivity. Love, likewise, needs a base that is rich in qualities to give. Soil stripped of nutrients does not foster growth, nor does a heart that is deplete of a generous, giving spirit.
Furthermore, there are weeds of unwanted things that must be removed to allow for love to expand. Lust, anger, greed, selfishness has no place in the garden of love. Love in its genuine spiritual essence will not take root in an atmosphere surrounded by manipulation, anger, resentment or narcissism.
Again, love has a life of its own. It cannot be pushed or pulled, or ‘gamed’ into being. To truly experience its pure divine scent and flavor, the heart must be open, soft, receptive, giving, honest, respectful, and devoted to the supreme, eternal, transcendent, loving Source.
It Just Happened
Too often people justify their poor judgment and bad choices with feeble excuses like, “It just happened.” But we all know that this is seldom the truth. The reality is that every step in our life is a choice. Whether we step forward, sideways, backwards, or stand still, it is a choice. And we should take personal responsibility for our life choices.
In everyday life we do not think much about where our steps may be leading us. We are typically just walking automatically in some direction. Many people simply live by trial and error.
However, when things go bad for us, it is usually because we have subconsciously, or even consciously, made the choice to move in a certain direction – a direction that we intuitively knew was not serving our highest good. And sadly, many times these bad choices also severely affect others.
For example, a friend of mine, who has only been married for one year, currently remains geographically separated from her husband, until she gets her immigration paperwork to be able to join him legally in his country. They had a beautiful wedding, and made the usual promises: to love and cherish, be faithful, in sickness and health, until death do them part.
Despite their long-distance marriage, they were doing everything right during the waiting period – or so it seemed. They called each other daily on the phone, and also talked on video chat. They constantly texted loving messages. He was originally also able to come and visit her here in Canada, but she could not cross the border to see him. However, when the Covid-19 pandemic hit, he was also denied entry. They had no further choice but to wait it out.
We Are All Worthy Of Forgiveness
Sometimes my brokenhearted clients ask when the person they love will also hurt the way they have been hurt by them. They have been wounded, sometimes very deeply, and they so desperately want to know that the one who hurt them will also suffer in the end. Preferably, a lot!
They desire retribution for all the pain, suffering and deceit they have suffered due this person. There has to be some kind of justice. Isn’t there some form of karma, they will ask pleadingly.
Some spiritual teachings and belief systems suggest that our most emotionally challenging experiences in this lifetime occur as a result of life lessons we have agreed upon with other souls, before being born into this particular lifetime. This concept is known as our life plan, soul agreement or soul contract, among other.
These challenges can present themselves as blockages and patterns, that we aspire to finally recognize on a soul level and then to rise above – too often after repeating the same lessons many times over during this lifetime and others.
Yes, it makes sense to me that there is a profound lesson in harsh, life-changing experiences, but it’s not so easy to see it that way, and to believe it could be something we would have agreed to, especially when we hurt so badly now.
Authentic Feelings Are Not Always ‘Sunshine And Rainbows’
What a comfortable, easy life this would be if everyone could just feel like ‘sunshine and rainbows’ all the time. The truth is that the many of the most worthwhile things in life do not come from ‘easy’ and ‘comfortable.’ And when we suppress our true feelings, it is ultimately detrimental to our health body, mind, and spirit.
Revealing our true feelings does not come easily for many of us. I am not trying to make up an excuse, but I just was not brought up that way. My parents’ generation were masters of the art of concealing their true feelings, good or bad. When I am doing a mediumship reading, and a departed parent or grandparent shows up, they often say things like, “I wish I told you more often how much I love you.”
I could count on one hand the moments in my childhood that I can remember my parents showing affection for each other in front of us children. Those of us who had been brought up in such a stoic family environment, tend to struggle when are encouraged to express our deepest emotions. As an adult, I do however see the bigger picture today. And I do feel it is necessary to express one’s feelings in a considerate and healthy way.
In my family my parents also never argued in front of us kids. My dad just gave my mom the silent treatment. We grew up thinking he was just be the ‘strong silent type.’ Consequently, I felt that this was what communication in a marriage should be like.
Of course, reality hit me badly with my first marriage, when my ex-husband and I had our first serious argument! I thought it meant the marriage was now over, because I had no coping skills or frame of reference for this kind of authentic self-expression in a relationship. I also had no clue how to have a good, healthy argument.
Escaping Karma
Karma is often one of the most misunderstood spiritual experiences that we have as humans. People will often use the word ‘karma’ to represent something punitive, or to point out that another person will “get what’s coming to them.”
But looking at karma through the lens of retribution is almost the opposite of the reason why karma actually exists. In fact, when we hold a perspective about karma that is punitive, we tend to create some sticky karma for ourselves in the process.
Karma is in truth an expression of the self-correcting Universe, reflecting its intelligent, loving design. The goal of karma is to expand a person’s awareness of love, joy, and serenity. Karma simply means that whatever we give out, comes back to us multiplied.
The concept of “karma is going to get that person,” is often directly associated with personal vendetta. Therefore, so many spiritual teachers throughout history talked about forgiveness and loving our enemies. When we focus on karma “getting” the other person, we tend to bring about harsh justice for ourselves.
It is also important to understand that the karma that other people experience is not proportional to how offended we are. The goal of karma is not to ‘make’ other people feel the way that we felt when we were offended.