selflessness
The Life Calling Of The Death Doula
The first time I heard of a doula, I had no idea what it meant. I soon discovered that it is a person trained to provide guidance, emotional support, and physical comfort to a mother before, during, and after childbirth.
But little did I know at the time that a doula can also be someone who is of service to dying. So, a doula may assist us coming into the physical world, as well as leave the physical world. What a wonderful profession to be called to assist in the miracles of birth and death.
As a psychic medium, talking to loved ones who have crossed over, I have come to understand that some people definitely prefer to be alone at the time of death. My own dad was such a person. He made it clear to us this was his dying wish.
Several people kept vigil at his bedside for three weeks, but the moment we all were away to change clothes or eat, was his opportunity to ‘check out.’ As in life so be it in death, my dad was a very private person.
His hospice room was right across from the elevator. When my mother and I stepped off the elevator, I heard my dad take his last breath and I sensed and felt his spirit exit the building. But I also know he was not ‘alone,’ because his loved ones, guides and angels came to greet him.
So, how does an end-of-life doula help with this process? A doula is there to help the family as much as the person passing. It is my belief that it is a deep honor to be present at a birth or a death. I have had the privilege to be present at all three of my granddaughter’s births. I have also been present at several deaths.
Both are times when emotions are running very high. At a birth everyone is anxious until they hear baby’s first cry. They are on edge waiting to hear baby and mother are both fine. A doula can help explain what is going on and answer questions about the birth process.
The Fierce Journey To The Heart Of The Goddess
There are many divine beings around us throughout our lifetime. When I do a reading, a variety of angels, spirit guides, ascended masters, and goddess archetypes may show up to lend their wisdom, love, and guidance to my clients, for whatever situation they are going through.
Not only do we have guardian angels constantly with us, but we also have various ‘inner band’ and ‘outer band’ spirit guides who interchange through different periods and cycles in our lifetime. We also have deities or higher-level beings with us during certain times.
Recently I have had many encounters with the goddess Kuan Yinin during readings. She is the Buddhist bodhisattva associated with compassion and was first known as the ‘goddess of mercy’ among Jesuit missionaries in China. Guanyin, Guan Yin or Kuan Yin, is short for Kuan-shi Yin, meaning she who ‘observes the cries of humanity.’
She is a popular goddess in Chinese folk religion and worshipped in many communities and cultures all over the world. In the mid-17th century outlawed Christians in Japan created statues of the Catholic Virgin Mary disguised as Kuan Yin, known as the ‘Maria Kannon.’
I have always associated her with compassion, kindness, and forgiveness, but I was recently reminded that Kuan Yin rides a dragon! This makes a lot of sense to me, now that I have examined her legend more closely.
Kuan Yin is teaching us by example. To arrive at a place of compassion and kindness, we must first piece through some uncomfortable feelings of anger, sadness, and fear, to arrive at the ‘heart of the goddess.’ Kuan Yin rides her dragon of fierce bravery through stormy waters and scorching fires. She follows through with the journey to a place of completion and does not avoid the challenges that confront her along the way.
Love, Joy And The Pursuit Of Happiness
According to the United States Declaration of Independence “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” are the inalienable birthrights of every human being given to us by our Creator, God, Source, the Divine.
Sadly, I find very few people to be successful in their pursuit of happiness. The same is true for finding love and joy. It seems many are merely stumbling through life trying to find it.
A teacher once told me life is like school. For some of us it’s like kindergarten – easy, uncomplicated, and lots of fun. For others it’s like graduate school with lots of difficulties and challenges to overcome.
Searching for joy, love and happiness does seem to be a ‘wild goose chase’ for many people. It truly is like chasing wild animals. The faster we run after it, the more it seems to flee. I don’t believe joy, love and happiness can be found. Well, at least not in the ways that many of us are hoping to find it.
Like happiness, the right to love is also the natural inheritance of every person. The well-known channeled text, A Course in Miracles, delves into the idea of love from a spiritual perspective. It states that it is impossible to teach love. Instead, the goal should be to remove the blockages or obstacles we have to allowing love’s presence in our lives.
I have seen repeated evidence of this in doing readings for many years now. Certain reading themes are repetitive and common themes are ‘finding love,’ or the ‘lack of love,’ or ‘loss of love.’ In all these readings one thing always becomes very clear: love itself is not an ‘out there’ thing. It is also not something that can be received from another person or thing.
In readings, Spirit will often say, “Love is not a feeling.” This one initially took me a while to understand myself, until I realized that love is in fact an intrinsic quality of being. It is already within each of us. We refer to it as the Higher Self, the Soul, or the Spirit. No one is ever separated from this innate love because it is an intrinsic aspect of our very being.
Enlightenment Is For Everyone
The term ‘enlightened’ seems to be everywhere these days. But what does it really mean? From a spiritual or metaphysical perspective enlightenment simple means refers to our level of awareness. Enlightened people are deeply aware – of themselves, the world around them, of the realm of Spirit
In a world of increasingly empty noise and superficial values, true awareness has become a rare commodity. It’s easy to immerse ourselves in all the empty noise and meaningless materialism. It’s much more challenging to look at the things of this world with greater depth and see these things (and yourself) for what they really are.
When we begin to see more clearly and authentically we become more enlightened. We begin to see the light of truth. And when we do, we become more aware how our beliefs, choices, and actions all have consequences.
For example, you might be tempted to answer with harsh words to someone who has wronged you, or to swat a spider in the sink rather than take it outside. Each one of these actions, no matter how small, radiates outward and impacts the world around you.
Choosing peaceful or harmonious action is a vital step on the road towards enlightenment. Stop to think, before you act.
Another common thread in the fabric of enlightenment is lack of attachment. In many spiritual traditions, including Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism, unhealthy attachment is seen as the root of all human suffering. This could be an attachment to material wealth and possessions, to beliefs and ideas, to people and animals, or to our memories and our ego.
Enlightened people are able to release attachments that are not serving their best interest and highest good by letting it go gracefully. If you spend less time worrying about these earthly fixations and obsessions, your spiritual inner being will naturally start to flourish. And once it does, you’ll become more aware of the signs, synchronicities, and subtle messages the Universe sends us all the time.
A Smile Is Contagious Too!
As we continue to find our way through the seemingly never-ending twists and turns of the COVID-19 pandemic, it is understandable that many of us are anxious, frustrated, and worried. Our lives and health are still at risk, our jobs and businesses remain in jeopardy, and parents are unsure about sending their children back to school.
Even so, there is a light at the end of the tunnel as many inroads have been made. There seems to be a feeling of increasing lightness and hope as the restrictions are gradually being lifted. In some places, people are nearly back to pre-pandemic norms, but for many of us many challenges and restrictions remain for the time being.
If you are feeling stifled and frustrated by the circumstances, remind yourself that it is the little things that we will come to appreciate after having gone without them for so long.
For example, with masks no longer required in some outdoor settings, we can now see each other’s faces again! And is it not wonderful to be able to make even the tiniest connection again with a smile?
Whether it is a neighbor you have known for years, or a stranger on the street, why not take the opportunity to smile at them as you pass by? Grin at the cute kids playing outside, or the adorable dogs owners are walking. Appreciate the little things. Gratitude and appreciation is empowering. Kindness and compassion is healing. And a smile is powerful. It can transform someone’s day in an instant.
Smiling is universal. In every country and culture, people smile. A smile represents kindness, joy and happiness. A smile can break through worries for a brief moment and make someone’s day. A smile can be reassuring or comforting when support is needed most.
Are Your Erasing Your Blessings?
Our good deeds and random acts of kindness are never in vain, even when they are not acknowledged or appreciated. Our good deeds are written up on a ‘good deed chalkboard’ in the spirit realm. The unselfish gifts of our time, money, and resources as well as our labors of love bring us many blessings in this lifetime and the next. When we are kind and generous to others, we are also showered with good fortune in return. We know this from the ‘golden rule’ of ‘do unto others’ found in many religions and spiritual traditions.
Buy I have read for many clients over the years who are kindhearted and loving people, but complain about their life being very difficult and deprived. They never have enough money, or they cannot find love, or health and well-being seem to evade them. “I am always helping others, but I get nothing in return,” they might say.
Why is this the case? Why are these generous, caring people not being blessed more often for their good deeds? Well, my guides have made the spiritual cause of this very clear to me. It is my understanding that we do not only add items of charity and compassion to the list of entries on our ‘chalkboard,’ but we also delete or erase them!
You see, when we do a good deed, it gets added to our list of potential ‘return blessings.’ But, if we go around bragging about it, boasting, showing off, telling people how generous or kind we have been, those good deeds become nullified, neutralized, erased. It loses its metaphysical power and spiritual meaning. It can no longer bless us in return.
Birth Order And The Empath
Most of us are familiar with the notion that the personality traits of the firstborn are typically different from the middle sibling, or the youngest child in the family, and so on. But many empaths do not realize how they may be impacted by their birth order in the family.
In The Birth Order Book, author Kevin Lemar gives a detailed outline of these so-called ‘birth order’ characteristics and qualities.
Firstborns, as well as only children, for example, are often associated with leadership attributes and stronger personalities, along with being more protective, fearless, and reliable than their siblings. However, the firstborn may also exhibit some less desirable traits, such as being controlling, bossy and impatient.
The middle-born tend to be social butterflies and peacekeepers, who are focused on fairness and keeping everyone happy. The youngest-born tend to be fun-loving, outgoing, creative, free spirited and can be adept at manipulating others to do things for them.
Only children tend to be mature for their age, perfectionistic and conscientious, but may feel the burden of high parental expectations.
The Firstborn Empath
My experience with empaths has been that the firstborn and only child empaths are indeed more protective, fearless, independent, reliable, but in the empath these protective instincts are magnified tenfold.
They also tend to feel it is their responsibility to solve every human problem and protect everyone around them, regardless. I often see a very enhanced sense of responsibility.