self-acceptance
The Key To A Lasting Relationship Is Inner Peace
One of the most consistent issues that often come up in relationship readings is what I call the ‘peace vibe.’ And this kind of inner peace is associated with our capacity to trust in an abundant universe. Most of my clients believe there is a divine power greater than us, but trusting that this power can help us create a positive momentum in our lives is another story entirely!
It is said that Albert Einstein once remarked that the most important decision we have to make in this life is whether we believe in a friendly, or hostile universe. This is the foundational question when talking about whether we are in the ‘vibe of peace,’ or not. If someone is constantly waiting for the proverbial ‘shoe to drop,’ they are likely not living in peace.
You see, our point of attraction is determined by our vibes (energy vibration), which is why inner peace is such an important concept in manifesting a lasting, successful relationship. Trust is the key foundation for all relationships. Sure, all relationships also pose an element of risk, but a hyper-focus on the risk will only create a mental and emotional environment that does not facilitate a happy and healthy relationship. In fact, with my experience of doing love and relationship readings for the past 20 years, I would go as far as to say that without trust there really is no relationship.
So, how does this work? Well, have you ever noticed that highly critical people will always find something or someone to judge or criticize? There is never a lack of reasons for criticism from disapproving or disparaging people. The same is also true when there is a lack of inner peace. Chaos naturally follows chaotic people, while people who choose serenity and joy experience more serenity and joy in their lives.
The Joy Of Being Your Authentic Self
Many people feel forever discontented, because they are constantly trying to find ‘happiness.’ However, like love, there is no real limitation to the experience of joy and fulfillment in our lives.
Joy is not something that we find outside of ourselves, but rather the unconditional expression of our authentic self. It cannot really be found through chasing ‘happiness.’ Joy comes when we are free from fear, worry, resentment, blame, guilt, criticism, and judgment – whether it is the practice of these things, or the fear of them.
True joy comes from just being yourself, which requires that you learn to accept yourself as you are, with all your unique quirks. Without this authentic expression of the self, we will always feel incomplete.
The Univeral Law of Attraction states that we attract our life experiences based on our state of consciousness and our energy frequency. Joy is a state of consciousness that is limitless, because your authenticity is unending and expansive. In other words, being joyful brings about more joy!
The trouble with chasing happiness is that it becomes a frustrating ‘wild goose chase.’ We try and manipulate circumstances, or we rely on chance, or other people, to bring us fulfillment. Neither works. Have you ever tried to change another person? How did that go?
There are two caveats to this. First, true joy does not mean that you are happy all the time. Yes, you experience happiness more often, because you are aware that whatever negative feeling you may be having is only temporary.
Some people try and feign happiness thinking that these universal spiritual laws can be tricked. There is no twisting of spiritual truth. There is no amount of ‘happy thoughts’ or positive thinking that can shift one’s inner reality. Only true authenticity brings joy.
The Real Truth About Finding Love
I have been doing psychic readings for almost 20 years now, and the one topic that seems to come up most consistently is romantic love. The main issue that comes up all too frequently in these readings is a confusion about what love really is, and how to find true love.
The first thing I need to point out here is that the idea of ‘finding love’ is completely off-base to begin with. The notion that love must be ‘found’ makes very little from a metaphysical and spiritual perspective, and it is often the main reason why some people find their romantic relationships so challenging.
To say that one must ‘find love’ implies that love is somehow missing, lost, or in hiding. It suggests that love is limited and scarce, and that the experience of love is hidden and very complicated to access. The truth is that love is a transcendent, limitless force, and there is only one love that we all have equal access to.
This is another quandary that people have when they are looking to manifest romantic love in their life – they try to separate love into categories. Yes, there are different expressions of love, but in the end there is only one love. And everyone has access to it. Love is less about finding the ‘right circumstances’ and more about aligning with the vibe of love.
So, what is love? Is it ‘unconditional?’ In my view this is just another way of saying that love is limited. It also implies that there are two different forms of love – conditional and unconditional. This makes no sense, because there is only one love and this one love is always unconditional. Love is unconditional acceptance.
In my experience, this is what most of us are really looking for: unconditional acceptance. We experience love when we unconditionally accept ourselves, others, and our circumstances.
Let Your Authentic Self Sparkle
Too many relationships are ruined by worrying about what other people think of us. We worry about what people will say, what people will think. I’ve seen many people disconnected from their loved ones in this way, with their only means of continued communication being social, or texting. They’re so afraid of expressing the things they should say, and so on.
If we could just remove our hardened shell and reveal who we really are, and allow our souls to sparkle, be authentic and keep it real with one another, I think we would connect perfectly.
In today’s world we are so brainwashed to think we have to be something we are not. I see so many people communicating, but putting on airs, acting like they are someone they are not, to try and impress, or to sell an idea, or sell themselves as someone else. It can take a toll on the body, mind, spirit. If only we could allow ourselves to show the world who we truly are, and to speak our truth, and sincerely connect with our loved ones, family members, friends, we would all have happier, richer lives.
Sometimes we stop being who we truly are, because the person we communicate with snaps at us, or has a problem with our opinions or how we view the world. When we share our thoughts and opinions freely, these people make us feel like we can’t be who we truly are around them.
Are You Living An Unexamined Life?
According to Socrates, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” This statement is very powerful, yet it has a very simple meaning. What you do not change, does not change you. When your actions remain the same, so do the results. If you cannot examine the things that are eating at you, the things that have gone wrong in your life, and even the things that have gone right, nothing changes.
We must look at our life and go behind the mask that we may be wearing, to cover up the fact that we are vulnerable inside. There are often so many aspects to our life that requires change in order to move forward to a better place.
For example, are you repeatedly settling for the same type of person as a partner and find it constantly failing? Are you going to a dead-end job day in and day out, that you hate so much that merely entering the workspace already makes you despise the day before it even starts? Do you look in the mirror and see things about yourself that makes you miserable?
Take off the mask of pretension and make an effort to change what isn’t working. Examine why you keep repeating the same patterns.
If you are ending up with the same type of person every time, ask yourself why? Are you trying to meet someone in the same way? Are you settling for someone that is not all that you would like, but feel it’s better than to have no one at all? Are you compromising on what you want? If they are not what you seek, cut them loose. They are not going to suddenly change.
How To Gain Confidence
Confidence isn’t about feeling superior to others. Confidence simply means feeling sure of yourself and your abilities, but not in an arrogant way. It’s the quiet, inner knowledge that you are capable. Confident people feel ready for everyday challenges.
For some of us it takes years of trial and error to gain self-confidence. Most people are their own worst critic. They judge themselves much harder than others would. And some will never feel good enough, or worthy of all the good things life has to offer.
Confidence really isn’t something that anyone else can give you. If you are not feeling confident, no matter how much praise and affirmation others may offer you, it will just fall on deaf ears. If you don’t believe it yourself, you simply will not hear it, or feel it.
As a psychic medium, it took me a few times of demonstrating for large groups to feel confident in myself and my mediumship. I have always trusted the spirit world to provide validation for the continuity of consciousness. The spirit world always brings forth messages and advice for clients without judgment. Spirit is consistently loving and kind, bringing forth messages for the highest good of my clients.
One of the biggest challenges for most, if not all psychic mediums, is the fear of ‘getting it wrong.’ Well, spirit never gives incorrect information. As humans we may interpret what we are seeing, hearing, and feeling incorrectly, but the original message is never inaccurate. The medium is just the messenger in the middle – and we are human and fallible. Therefore, in a mediumship session with me, I always try not to interpret too much of what I’m hearing, seeing and feeling. I just give the information with a basic sense of trust.
Take Back Your Power!
Everyone has a story to tell about their love life. And some of have extremely abusive stories to tell. One common element that I have come across frequently in my work, is the fact that some people are treated with disrespect and emotional abuse, and yet they are still patiently waiting for the abuser to return to them!
When you ask them why, it is usually because they “still love” that person. Well, that is not love. It is simply an imagined need that has been created by the abuser, or by one’s lack of self-worth. It is a psychological illusion, not real.
If you are still waiting for someone to come back into your life, after they left you for someone else, you are making yourself the second choice. You are degrading your own true value and taking away from your self-worth.
During a workshop I presented on this subject, I asked the participants to write down why they felt they needed that other person in their life. In essence, all their responses ended up being about lack of self-esteem, self-respect and self-security.
The next step was to ask them how they would you feel if they saw someone treating their daughter, or son, in the same way they have been allowing the abusive partner to treat them? They all said they wouldn’t tolerate it. They would intervene and get that person out of their lives, or at least try. One of the delegates even went as far as to say, “I would lock her in the house and never let her out again.” Which might be a great idea under the circumstances, but obviously not realistic!