self-acceptance
Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
I believe that my own tendency to compare myself with others began at a young age, when my mother would constantly compare me to my cousins. For example, she would talk affectionately about their lovely physical attributes, like their thick hair, high cheekbones or deep-set eyes. Their personalities were louder and more assertive than mine too.
I was an overweight kid, and the more withdrawn I became, the more I would eat. I felt that my overweight was seen by others as greed, but I now believe I was layering deep insecure feelings.
I now know too that I was not meant to be like my cousins. In hindsight, I thank my mother for the life lessons. Perhaps she helped me in learning about insecurity and experiencing an inferiority complex. Today, I have a much deeper understanding of how my clients feel, when they don’t feel good enough. Or, as is often the case, when they are concerned about their children not feeling good enough for whatever reason. This is not always due to faulty parenting. Parents often suffer terribly when they see their kids, whatever their ages, suffer from lack of self-esteem. They see their kids as having every reason to be super-confident, yet witness them withdrawn and unhappy.
Signs You Are Being Gaslighted
You’re crazy, that never happened. You’re too sensitive. You’re making things up. No one else has ever said that about me. I get along with everyone else except you. I’ve never had this problem with anyone else but you. Everyone says you’re crazy. I’m not cheating, so maybe you are… since you are accusing me. You are too sensitive.
These are just some of the things you might hear when someone is gaslighting you, when you have confronted them with their own issues or manipulations.
Gaslighting is a form of abuse that is more common in romantic relationships, but it can occur in landlord and tenant relationships, friendships, employee and employer relationships, and even in relationships with neighbors. It is basically the art of messing with someone’s mind or reality. Sometimes it is done in an obvious way, right in front of the person, and sometimes it is under the radar and you don’t you know who is gaslighting you, or even if you are actually being gaslighted. Continue reading
Poco A Poco
I thought today of how certain expressions tend to stick in our minds; thoughts which we adopt for a while, or even a lifetime. It can be the words of a famous writer we have read somewhere, an expression in a song, or even just the ideas of somebody we just had a brief conversation with.
Internationally renowned author and speaker, Wayne Dyer, once said, “You will never get everything done.” It’s a good feeling at the end of the day, to know that we’ve gotten through much on our ‘to-do list.’ But for me, I also gain some comfort from such as words of wisdom as Wayne Dyer’s, as well as the poem, Desiderata, which advises us to, “Go placidly amid the noise and the haste.” Continue reading
Do Unto Others
Do unto others as you have them do unto you. It is also known as the Golden Rule. A simple and wise rule to live by, but something humanity struggles to adhere to.
It is also very close to another age-old axiom, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Again, this sounds easy enough. And what if you are one of those people, as many of us are, who are not in the habit of treating yourself very well at all?
How do you typically treat yourself? Do you like yourself? Do you love yourself? Do you approve, care, and not judge yourself harshly? Are you kind and encouraging to yourself? Or is your internal mental chatter and expression riddled with thoughts like: Continue reading
Overcoming Feeling Rejected
When a customer asks for a reading about future love prospects, they will often ask how they could possibly meet this person. “How can this possibly happen”, they ask, when they really don’t go anywhere, not to mention that their internet dating attempts have been futile.
I don’t feel that there are coincidences in the way in which people meet. Our frequencies attract to us the ‘other’ who will bring us our next life lesson. At least this is my overall feeling.
This force of nature holds a magnetism unlike any other feeling, and it can throw any logical perception of another person (who is the attention of our desires) right out of the window. It’s a real pity how a toxic relationship can divert someone off course from their true spiritual purpose, which, for many of us is, to find the love of self. Continue reading
Nan Lightfoot’s Words Of Wisdom
I was about 20 years old when I experienced an in-depth, private sitting with a wonderful spiritual medium, known to me as ‘Nan Lightfoot.’ My father had heard of her through the local spiritualist church, and it turned out that this lady lived just two blocks from our house.
A friendship soon blossomed between us. I would help her with shopping and running errands whenever I possibly could, until I finally left England for many years. During our many conversations, she would pipe up with wise advice channeled from her spirit guide. She would drop her head and rattle off in Welsh, and then suddenly stop. She would then come out of a trance-like state and, without hesitation, relay to me the English version of what her guide had just told her. Continue reading
I’m A Perfect Five On A Scale Of One To Ten
I’m a perfect ‘five’ on a scale of one to ten… and I love it! When we learn to be a five, we’re relishing the right to be okay, yet not to have to be a perfect ten. We would all like to be absolutely perfect. Yet, no one is. We would like our heroes, our crushes, our partners to be ‘the one’ by fulfilling all our needs, but we forget that in order for that to be, we too have to be a perfect ‘ten.’ Still, and perhaps, sadly, no one is.
The worst part is, when our beloved tries to change, we often doubt them. We wonder why he said this, or why he didn’t do that, because he always did before! We shouldn’t ask for changes if we don’t really want them. Changes hurt, just as pulling the splinter out sometimes hurts. It causes us to bleed, but in order to heal, the splinter has to come out. Continue reading