self-worth
Are You Living An Unexamined Life?
According to Socrates, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” This statement is very powerful, yet it has a very simple meaning. What you do not change, does not change you. When your actions remain the same, so do the results. If you cannot examine the things that are eating at you, the things that have gone wrong in your life, and even the things that have gone right, nothing changes.
We must look at our life and go behind the mask that we may be wearing, to cover up the fact that we are vulnerable inside. There are often so many aspects to our life that requires change in order to move forward to a better place.
For example, are you repeatedly settling for the same type of person as a partner and find it constantly failing? Are you going to a dead-end job day in and day out, that you hate so much that merely entering the workspace already makes you despise the day before it even starts? Do you look in the mirror and see things about yourself that makes you miserable?
Take off the mask of pretension and make an effort to change what isn’t working. Examine why you keep repeating the same patterns.
If you are ending up with the same type of person every time, ask yourself why? Are you trying to meet someone in the same way? Are you settling for someone that is not all that you would like, but feel it’s better than to have no one at all? Are you compromising on what you want? If they are not what you seek, cut them loose. They are not going to suddenly change.
An ‘Awareness Yawn’ For The Whole Truth
The majority of human beings believe they tell the truth most of the time. Few will admit they lie. And none will disclose just how often, when, and how they twist the truth ‘a little’ to suit their needs. They convince themselves they are not really lying, when they know very well that their distorted versions of the truth are deceptive.
We are curious creatures. Adept at swindling ourselves to favor a certain idolized self-image we have created. One that we must maintain consistently in as much as our sovereign power allows. Hah! How utterly ridiculous and futile are our attempts to portray an untruth so vividly transparent. We can’t hide from our true self, for that’s who we live and die with.
It’s all a matter of unconscious perception. An awareness yawn would serve to do the trick of waking us up, but we’re simply not interested, especially if it involves ‘disturbing our self-indulgent illusions.’ We want to continue to believe how wonderful, well-informed, funny, intelligent, attractive, spiritually evolved, dedicated, hard-working, honest, caring, decent, committed and interested we are.
We walk around as if we not only have an ace up our sleeve (an extra added edge), but can make it magically appear at will. We sincerely think no one can see through our considerately, deceptively masked, incognito ‘what’s in it for me’ personality.
These deceptively constructed guises are particularly prevalent when we are entering into new relationships. That’s when we really put on the ‘dog and pony show.’ We come across so deliberately ‘put together’ and manicurely maintained. It matters not, if that ‘face of the hour’ is nowhere near the panoramic view of incalculable distortion occurring on the inside. We are on a personal quest; we want something. And, nothing will deter us from our conquest.
Transmuting The Negative Energy Of Self-Sabotage
In many religions and spiritual wisdom traditions we find guidelines on healing and mind-body wellness. Many of these philosophies, in conjunction with modern medicine, can be a great aid for mind, body and soul. In all spiritual traditions there are usually rules or recommendations aimed at the well-being of society as a whole, as well as each individual soul. Many of these teachings warn us of dangers we might find in our own thought, choices and actions. And if we are unaware or careless, a damaging thought or action can turn into a harmful pattern.
Recognizing a damaging thought or behavior pattern in our lives is not easy. We might realize that someone else makes the same mistakes over and over, but it may be difficult to have the same insight about ourselves. We create the imagined walls of our own limitations, and abide by them, without being aware of making this decision. These limiting, destructive thoughts and actions that appear repeatedly in our lives – especially those demeaning, self-sabotaging, angry thoughts – are in essence negative energy vibrations. A few example of such thoughts can be:
I am useless and incompetent.
I am not strong enough.
Nobody cares about me.
I do not deserve better.
I hate myself.
A Time Of Transition With Venus Retrograde
Venus is the goddess of love, and in Astrology the planet Venus is thought to represent what we love, value and the pleasure we take in life. The zodiac sign that Venus is in at the moment of our birth, can give us clues as to how we approach relationships, as well as what gives us joy in life. In the Shamanic Astrology tradition, the natal Venus is considered to be our emerging feminine expression.
The planet Venus rotates around the Earth in an 18-month cycle. The cycle begins when it appears as the ‘morning star’ on the eastern horizon, best seen in the early morning sky. It then begins a journey around the Earth, disappearing behind the Sun for two to three months, before reappearing as the ‘evening star’ on the western horizon. As it nears the end of the cycle, Venus goes retrograde, before disappearing again from the sky, and then re-emerging once again in the early morning sky as a goddess transformed for another cycle.
This annual cycle of Venus represents the personal growth, transformation, death and rebirth that affects us all collectively. There is also a complete eight year cycle for each individual, as Venus reaches the same point in the sky, where it was at our time of birth, once every eight years. This is known as the Venus Return and is the starting point or rebirth of an individual’s eight year cycle. Often, around these 8-year time-frames, for example at age 24, 32, 40, 48, 56, 64, and so on, there are significant life events that have more far reaching effects for us personally.
Reclaim Your Power And Value
When we allow our mind to accept the fact that we are a valuable person, knowing that we are here for a reason, we can start owning and reclaiming our purpose and power. We are valuable and our life matters.
Sometimes we are scared of our power. When we start creating things and watch things unfold, we can begin sabotaging ourselves. If things start to go wrong, our mind starts to spin out to negative future possibilities and past failures. We use our power against ourselves.
We are meant to expand through this life with joy. We did not plan to have struggles and crisis without end before we came here. Some of our ancestors and family members have experienced this, but we have knowledge, information and the power to change this. They were all doing the best they could with what they knew at the time. But we now know better.
When we are born into this world there is a spiritual ‘forgetting.’ As we grow and develop we take on the values, fears and beliefs of our family, teachers, friends, experiences or the environment around us. We forget the power we each were given. It’s our birthright.
We have always had this power within. We can waste it on suffering, which it takes a lot of energy. It’s exhausting and creates stress, which manifests in our body, mind, spirit, and then in our world. Or we can use it for joy, and goodness in what we create.
Competence And Confidence
Competence and confidence…how are they related? Or, are they? If we consider ourselves to be competent, does this so-called confidence arise naturally from the specified experience of validated competence? Or does the experience associated with confidence ‘stay on the surface’ of things? And does it then have to be renewed over and over, to continually prove the level of expertise, once the particular hailed experiment, or event, or situation is over?
In other words, how do we hone a certain skills or ability enough to be competent and confident with the knowledge gained, developed and demonstrated, without having to repeatedly ‘prove’ our worth and merit? And, should we feel the need to prove our expertise in any area of life, are we not placed in a defensive position, whereby our competence is questioned and our confidence doubted?
Some may argue that confidence is an inborn trait and can not necessarily be developed by perfecting a certain craft, skill, talent or gift. But, whoever would take this position, has not done their homework in actuality to establish, cultivate and maintain expanded potential.
Competence comes through repetitious practice, until the act is perfected. Then, confidence rides piggy back on the polished competence, from the very fact that one does not have to ‘think’ about what is being achieved. Yes, thinking interferes with the competence, and therefore inhibits confidence.
In order, to learn to ride a bicycle with ease, one must practice, fall repeatedly and work with the laws of gravity until balance is preserved. But, even then, the magic of riding a bike happens of its own accord without the aid, interference or assistance of the rider. Once accomplished, no one can unlearn.
When Too-Close-For-Comfort Reveals The Truth
So, here is something new, which I have not heard before in my work: distraught clients asking for help while quarantined with their partner or spouse. For some, being cooped up with their significant other is apparently not going very well!
The circumstances that we are all going through at the moment, is forcing us to take another look at our closest relationships and see if they are meant to be long lasting, or if it is only a chapter or season in our life. Some relationships start off wonderful like a TV commercial, one minute it is heavenly, and then one day not so much.
So, let me share a recent Tarot reading I did for a gentleman, who said it helped them a lot during this too-close-for-comfort time at home with his wife. Who knows, maybe it will be of value to you too? It might just rescue your mental health, happiness and well-being…until they let the two of you out of the house again.
He said that he is a great problem-solver, but just can’t figure out how to make this marriage work. He never saw certain aspects of his wife’s personality, until he has now been forced to have to be around her for a very long extended period of time during the Covid-19 lockdown. He also admitted that sometimes it’s hard to really connect his feelings to things going on in his life, only because he “can be moody.” But we soon discovered the real truth about his toxic relationship.
In the reading, I saw that he has had many relationships in his life and he acknowledged that he had been married several times. I said that I felt it did not work out because he didn’t get the necessary support he needed from his mates in the past.