self-worth
The Importance Of Self-Trust
Of all the relationships in our life, none is more complicated or important than the one we have with ourselves. The cornerstone of this relationship is self-trust.
Unfortunately it is quite easy to damage the trust we place in ourselves. Why? Because during our lives all of us have, or will, make choices and decisions that don’t produce the desired outcome.
We all fail, and we all make mistakes. A relationship fails and we blame or question ourselves. A job opportunity eludes us, or a friendship fractures beyond repair.
We lose self-trust when we don’t achieve a goal, whatever that goal may be. Then we begin to question our abilities, our dreams and our worthiness to have them manifest in our life.
Every time we replay an event that we label a failure, the doubt in our judgment and our self-worth increases. Self-confidence stems from self-trust, so the cycle can become vicious and destructive.
So, how can we repair self-trust? First, decide to give yourself a break. You made what you believed to be the best decision or choice in the moment. If you are saying, “No, I didn’t! I knew I should have done it differently,” then stop the that negative thought pattern, and choose instead to forgive yourself for not trusting your instincts in that moment. Holding a grudge against yourself only assures that the pattern will repeat.
Next, decide to honor your emotions. If you have made choices and decisions that you perceive as a failure, then the tendency is to begin to substitute the opinions of others over our own intuition, desires and dreams. This pattern can lead to co-dependency, confusion and fear. Self-trust is harnessed when we follow our sacred wisdom, instead of looking outside ourselves to provide inner peace.
The Legacy Of The Modern Crone
The time of the crone is the third stage in the life of a woman, may she feels she has come full circle. The Crone is traditionally an archetypal figure for a ‘wise old woman.’ In ancient times the ‘crone’ was considered, in a matriarchal community, to typically be a mature woman past the age of menopause.
In society today, many women look at the time in life past menopause as a blessing. It is now considered a time to get on with life and achieve the things that may have been put on the backburner. It is a time when one hits that age where experience counts as true knowledge.
In my own opinion most of the women I know personally, who lived as young adults through the 1960’s and 1970’s, are not very much concerned with their physical age, as long as they have their health and feel good about themselves. They are not concerned about what society may call the age one is deemed ‘a crone.’
The term ‘crone’ is believed to originate from Rhea Kronia. Rhea is the ancient Greek goddess of female fertility, motherhood, and generation, also known as ‘Mother Time.’, She is also associated with black creatures, such as the crow, which is sacred and related to death.
There was a time when the crone was recognized as a treasured valued member of the community. Her advice was sought by those younger and less experienced. The good old golden rule was her belief of ‘the way life should be lived.’
Changing Your Think-Feel-Act Cycle
There is a popular saying, “Where attention goes, energy flows.” And since everything is energy, we often forget how true this is and how it plays out in our lives. We can be stuck in the same groove without noticing it. And then we think, where has time gone, and maybe it’s too late to change?
The good news is, as long as we are still breathing, it’s never too late to change and choose differently to create a different outcome.
All things in the Universe is energy vibrating at various frequencies, and so does our thoughts. This is highly relevant in the think-feel-act cycle of our mind-body connection. Our thoughts have an effect on our feelings, and then our actions, which ultimately produce outcome in our lives.
Our thoughts and feelings can even affect our body and physical health, as well as how a situation will play out in our relationships, finances, daily habits and lifestyle choices.
In relationships, it’s important to look at how we view ourselves first, as it has a direct relationship on how others will react to us. How we think, feel and act can make a big difference in relationship outcomes with friends, lovers, co-workers and family.
Living Ecstatic Bliss By Remaining Open To Life!
Nothing is for certain. We are not locked in. Everything is at our disposal. We are as free as the wind. Responsibility remains with ourselves, while duty and obligation have no place in our lives, when subjected onto us by someone else. It’s an inside job. The greatest disservice and most fierce act of unkindness we will ever do to another is when we negate, abate and sublimate our ‘natural and convenient’ innate desires.
Unless we are authentic and the real deal, we do not, have not, and will not show up for our lives, relationships and work. We are merely playing ridiculous games of pretense. Regrettably and stupidly, not the first one of them fulfills, sustains or registers. It’s simply a dreary monotonous merry-go-round.
The long and short of it is this: it matters what we do – but only to us! If we are doing anything for anyone at anytime, for any other reason than for the gut-driven, instinctive passion that drives us to express our deeply embedded sublime, sensual, sacred, sexual, artistic natures, we are nothing but disposable phonies. We are merely walking around, in a desperately empty, apathetically numbed, half-awake daze… haphazardly avoiding the next car that may plow right into us. The one and only problem with that unlived scenario: we won’t even know what hit us. Our short time here on Earth would have been null, void and without meaning.
What meaning, you may ask? You might not see any meaning, but you know you are here for some reason or purpose, you just don’t know what that is. Of course, you don’t, because you have not showed up for your life, yet. You walk around with either a chip (boulder) on your shoulder, because your life hasn’t’ worked out as you planned. Or maybe you are displaying an exalted sense of elevated importance, thinking you deserve more than you have.
The Courage To Shed Our ‘Old Bark’
In recent readings, new romance has been indicated very strongly for one of my regular clients. This is a welcome new development, because for a long time, and to his annoyance, his readings tended to relate more to business than to affairs of the heart! He has been very open to new romance for a long time now, but it has been eluding him.
In many of his readings, his late father featured prominently and suggested that unresolved issues connected to his dad were actually impacting his self-worth. As a result, he also didn’t feel lovable or attractive enough to meet a life partner.
It seems strange though, that after reading for this gentleman for several years, he’d never mentioned his family. The subject only arose unprompted during the recent readings. This suggests that subconsciously he was ready to release that old baggage and to embrace positive change.
Because he was ready, we were discovering that it was important to now remove any deep-seated belief systems and blockages to his happiness, and for him to finally find a life partner who respected him, as opposed to the abusive relationships he’d known for years. I told him that he was like a tree shedding old bark!
This took me back years, to a time when I would help a former boyfriend, who was a horticulturist, with his seasonal work of pruning. He would climb the trees and prune those, and I learned to be quite the rose pruner at ground level.
Spirit Says You Can’t Please Everyone
I have learned that people-pleasing is something that one simply cannot do. People must learn to do it for themselves. We cannot please everyone all of the time, and some people will never be satisfied anyway, no matter how much time, energy and love we offer them. They are simply not ever going to be happy, no matter what. Period.
I can think of various situations where one might feel the need to coddle and people-please those we love and care for, but in the end it will only bring us self dis-ease and stress.
For example, the child who tries to please and be there and do everything for the parent. Why is this a bad idea? Well, the parent may give up if their child tries to do everything for them. Especially if they are older and trying to find themselves and re-establish their own life, after taking care of everyone else their whole life.
Sometimes we can smother an ageing parent with kindness, by trying to do too much for them. When we do this, it makes them second guess their ability to do things for themselves. It may even cause them to worry, have anxiety, or become fearful of living.
It is good to be there for one’s elderly parents, however there is a line that can be crossed if we try and do too much and make them feel like they cannot do certain things anymore. Sure, if their driver’s license has been taken from them, for example, and they cannot see well anymore, then obviously driving them places makes sense. But, if they are still able to function normally, then let them!
Our Spiritual Contracts
Before we come into this lifetime, we design a soul contract. We choose a family that we want to be born to and we plan specific things that we want to accomplish, such as career, relationships, children, and so on. The contract is about our spiritual self and therefore also includes those things that we need to overcome and learn from.
Some of the more important things in your contract may come as a surprise, because often they are those things you do not want to do! This is usually a sure way of knowing that something is contractual. The things we prefer to do, or have done, we’ve already mastered, but the challenges and obstacles offer us opportunity to overcome our fears and anxieties, to step forward and learn more, to grow spiritually.
Some contracts are also much longer than others. Some of us remain here for a long time, while others do not. I doubt anyone knows for sure, but for the time that we are here, we must make every effort to learn and grow from every life experience.
This is also why some of us attract the wrong people, and constantly get into the wrong relationships? In these cases it is often your soul contract trying to teach you to speak up for yourself and claim your self-worth.
When old souls come in, usually nothing bothers them. They tend to take things with a grain of salt. However, when new souls come in, they are often very excited about so many things and can’t seem to get enough done.