self-worth
Why Empaths Fall Victim To Narcissists
Why are narcissists and empaths often drawn to one another? This is a phenomena many of us empaths fall victim to. Which, at first, may seem odd, since empaths and narcissists are polar opposites! But, maybe that is the key? Opposites attract.
But, what’s more profound, is that the narcissist preys upon the empath’s dedication to healing those who are emotionally wounded or scarred. By nature empaths are deeply caring, compassionate people. The empath’s purpose in life is to support healing in others, yet due to their intense sensitivity, empaths often struggle to create healthy boundaries for themselves, giving in to martyrdom, victimhood, co-dependency, and chronic self-sacrifice.
An empath will do anything in their power to help or heal another. And, will not easily give up or walk away. This makes them prime targets for the narcissist.
There are different types of narcissists. But, for this article, I will discuss the most common. And, that is the Amorous Narcissist. They tend to measure their self-worth and grandiosity by how many sexual conquests they have conquered. This type of person is known for using their charm to ensnare others with attention, flattery and gifts. But, they dispose of their target once they become bored or when their needs have been served. The target typically won’t so much as get an explanation, much less a goodbye.
Dirty Little Secrets
So many of us have secrets. Some sneak food, others drink alcohol, or they have a sugar habit, can’t have an orgasm, or they are depressed. More interestingly, in my experience, some people in the helping, motivation, exercise, or spiritual industry often have more secrets than most. They keep these secrets, because they have more to lose. If they are supposed to be selling a service or product that ‘works’… appearances matter (perhaps even more than the practice they sell).
Furthermore, people love to worship their idols and gurus… who are sometimes frail and imperfect humans themselves. We create heroes who in turn create themselves. Some of these ‘heroes’ come close to revealing themselves, most are only revealed after their death. In truth, we have no idea what other people are really going through in their lives. Nor do we typically want to know. Instead we prefer to worship some ideal. This helps us to further self-criticize, because we are not that ideal like them. And this in turn encourages everyone to keep more secrets.
Releasing A Toxic Relationship
Many of us have held onto a toxic relationship (which includes friendships) because of our mind trying to convince us that it will change. It will get better. I can fix this other person. I will wait for this other person to realize what they have in me. This person is my soulmate, I know it. This person is the only one, there will never be another.
So many excuses, so little truth.
It will not change. If a relationship or a friendship is toxic today, yes, it will change and become more toxic as the days, weeks and months pass.
It will not get better. You are trying to convince yourself it will get better with time with someone, when they finally start to realize that you are there no matter what. This is a huge misconception. Toxic relationships cannot change and the loss will be harder the longer you hold onto this person.
You cannot ‘fix’ your partner. No one can fix another person. No one can change another person. Each individual has to do their own work to clear the toxic or damaged parts of themselves. They have to do it for themselves, or it will never last.
Manifesting Love
He loves me, he loves me not. Do you find yourself daydreaming about love? Imagining your next partner, what they will look like and when they are going to arrive in your life? Maybe you’re wondering if the person that you are interested in is also into you? Or perhaps you’re simply contemplating your current relationship?
Whatever your current relationship status, I am sure that thoughts of romantic love creep into your mind quite often. So, given that we manifest not only with our actions, but even more so with our thoughts, take heed! Manifesting real, meaningful love isn’t as hard as you may think.
Over the years, experience has taught me that next to money, manifesting love is at the top of the list for most people. We all want a relationship where we feel desired, respected and appreciated. And I just told you that it’s not really that hard to manifest. So why does it seem so hard to come by?
Healing Through Radical Self-Forgiveness
There’s no getting around the fact that we’re our own worst critics. There has been much written on the subject of forgiving others, but what about forgiving ourselves? This is the first and most crucial step to real, lasting, healthy self-love.
The roots of the pain many of us feel are guilt and shame – the knowledge that we have wronged or hurt someone else, and the lasting fallout resulting in self-harm. Guilt is sometimes a catalyst to change behavior, but shame often comes with long-term effects, such as negative thinking patterns, self-harming behavior such as addiction, depression or anxiety, and self-sabotage.
Over long periods shame is like a poison in our bloodstream which touches every aspect of our lives. But it doesn’t have to last! There is a healthy way to overcome the legacies of shame and guilt, and it all starts with compassion.
Choose Your Life Partner Wisely
Many people are looking for that soulmate who will truly be a life-long partner. But because they are so desperate to find that special person, they sometimes align with those that do not necessarily have all the qualities that are important in a healthy, fulfilling relationship. This is unfortunately not how you find your ‘forever.’
In the old days divorce was not even something someone considered once they got married. Neither did couples live together, unless they were married. It was frowned upon when a baby was born out of wedlock. If someone did get pregnant, there was usually a quick wedding, and that was that.
Perfectly Imperfect
There are no people on this Earth who are 100% perfect. Each one of us has flaws. Everyone has emotional wounds and physical imperfections. These flaws, wounds, scars and imperfections are what make us uniquely different from each other. It is what makes each one of us beautiful.
Virtually everyone also has some issue with self-esteem. Many of us dislike some parts of our physical body. We all get pimples, stretch marks, or have food stuck in our teeth from time to time. The list of perceived imperfections is infinite. So, who are we to judge others? Everyone has something about them they dislike, or want to improve or change. Even the most beautiful people in the world get sunburns, cuts, rashes, bad haircuts, stomach aches, digestive problems, and on and on. We need to remember, the relationship isn’t with the body, but with the soul. Bodies age. Bodies never last forever. Souls are where our true value is found.