materialism
Keeping Score In A Relationship
I believe the habit of keeping a ‘score card’ might start in someone’s childhood. It is based on developing a certain sense of duty and responsibility early on. For example, as kids I remember my sister and I had to take turns doing the dishes. My sister would always keep tabs on that chore. She always knew whose turn it was next. My sister is four years older than me, and to this day she still keeps score on almost everything in her life.
This also set the precedent for me with friends and other family members. Others keeping score just seems natural to me, so I never feel the need to do so myself.
This did not server me well in all aspects of my young adult life. For example, in relationships it always felt like I was the one trying to make things work. It did not make any difference to me who called who last. Therefore, I ended up doing most of the calling. But does it truly matter that much?
What has the other person done for me? After all I have done and given so much! What do I get out of this relationship? These are the questions score keepers are always asking themselves.
But in my view, a relationship is never 50/50, even if both people are truly happy and fulfilled. One will always be doing less or more. But it does not matter, as true love is supposed to be unconditional.
So, if you are keeping a score card things will never balance and the emotion that will come up is anger, rebellion, defensiveness, or a complete shut-down. That does not serve any relationship in the long run.
Today’s Journey, Not Tomorrow’s Destination
I often hear my clients say, “If only I can meet my soulmate, then I will be happy.” Then when they meet that special person, they say they will finally be happy once they propose. Once they are married, then they cannot be completely happy until they have children.
Then, if they only one child, then can only be happy if they have a second. Or if they have two boys, they will only find lasting happiness once they also have a girl. Or they can only be happy once they have built or bought the dream house, or lost the weight, or launched their new business, and on, and on.
The worst scenario is people waiting for their retirement to finally be happy.
If you ask other people you will discover that nobody has everything they want. Most people have never had ‘everything.’ The few that might seem to have it all, usually do not. There is always something still lacking or missing. Nobody’s life is perfect.
Many of us spend our fleeting time on this planet wanting more, being insatiable, and never feeling fulfilled, content, or happy. It’s wonderful to have goals. Not having goals can be extremely depressing. But enjoying the process and journey toward achieving those goals will make them have even more valued and fulfilling.
More importantly, we are seldom grateful or appreciative for what we do already have. I have also found that not being grateful will bring us karmic lessons of appreciation, often by losing the good things in our life that we so easily disregard. I have seen that time and again with clients, friends and relatives.
We are an insatiable, greedy society. This who become millionaires, then want to be multi-millionaires., and then won’t be happy or fulfilled until they’re billionaires. When is enough, enough. We can only wear one outfit at a time, drive one car at a time and live in one house at a time.
I have so many friends who spent their children’s entire childhood chasing the career dreams and business goals, constantly being stressed, frazzled and not at all present when they do spend a little time with their kids. Then they wake up one day and realize their children are grown and gone, and they missed most of it.
Banish Fear With The Power Of The Heart
I woke up from a powerful dream this morning. I was on the top floor of a high-rise building that had been struck by lightning. The building slowly started to move, to quake. I could see from the window neighboring structures being destroyed, and I sensed my own building’s collapse was imminent…with me inside it!
Could I make it down the stairs in time? I was about to try, but my exit was delayed by a pair of sparkling opal earrings that I simply had to take with me! But I could not manage to hold onto them for long. They kept slipping out of my hand, while the apocalypse was happening all around me.
I just had to bring the blingy earbobs – I am a Taurus, after all.
Then, as I gazed at the two little treasures, a stark truth hit me. I suddenly realized these material things do not matter in life and it shouldn’t delay me further. I also understood for some reason that the earrings now belonged to someone else and would bring them much joy in future. So, I returned the jewelry to the table where I found it…just before my building finally came crashing down.
Certainly, a lot to unpack. Temptation, ownership, materialism, impermanence, spiritual values, mortality, life goals.
But let’s get back to the dream.
Somehow, incredulously, like in a Marvel Comics adventure, I landed outside, unharmed. Then I found myself on a raft, with my immediate family all suddenly with me. We were rapidly floating together down a river.
Then it was time for us to get off, before we got hurt, but we were reluctant to do so. Suddenly, there was a friendly tribe of indigenous people on the bank of the river, expectantly waiting for us by a wall. So, we felt safe to dive off the raft, and we did so. The tribe members showed us the way through a hidden opening in the wall, and we all made it out safely to someplace new!
Enlightenment Is For Everyone
The term ‘enlightened’ seems to be everywhere these days. But what does it really mean? From a spiritual or metaphysical perspective enlightenment simple means refers to our level of awareness. Enlightened people are deeply aware – of themselves, the world around them, of the realm of Spirit
In a world of increasingly empty noise and superficial values, true awareness has become a rare commodity. It’s easy to immerse ourselves in all the empty noise and meaningless materialism. It’s much more challenging to look at the things of this world with greater depth and see these things (and yourself) for what they really are.
When we begin to see more clearly and authentically we become more enlightened. We begin to see the light of truth. And when we do, we become more aware how our beliefs, choices, and actions all have consequences.
For example, you might be tempted to answer with harsh words to someone who has wronged you, or to swat a spider in the sink rather than take it outside. Each one of these actions, no matter how small, radiates outward and impacts the world around you.
Choosing peaceful or harmonious action is a vital step on the road towards enlightenment. Stop to think, before you act.
Another common thread in the fabric of enlightenment is lack of attachment. In many spiritual traditions, including Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism, unhealthy attachment is seen as the root of all human suffering. This could be an attachment to material wealth and possessions, to beliefs and ideas, to people and animals, or to our memories and our ego.
Enlightened people are able to release attachments that are not serving their best interest and highest good by letting it go gracefully. If you spend less time worrying about these earthly fixations and obsessions, your spiritual inner being will naturally start to flourish. And once it does, you’ll become more aware of the signs, synchronicities, and subtle messages the Universe sends us all the time.
Invoking The Angels Of Abundance
True abundance and well-being is the natural state of the human soul. We are meant to dwell in abundance and well-being, because we live in an abundant, harmonious universe.
However, there are some people that constantly dwell in lack consciousness and a scarcity mentality, which is then reflected in the lives they live. This will often emerge through the negativity and judgments they have about their circumstances, as well as their endless criticism and envy of others.
Angelic energy allows us to move from this mindset of limitation and lack into the true abundant flow of the Universe.
Sometimes people confuse ‘abundance’ with the collection of wealth, prosperity and material things. Yes, collecting these things can be one aspect of abundance, but true abundance is way more than just material prosperity.
True abundance is to have enough of all that we need to accomplish our higher purpose and fulfill our spiritual destiny. This includes many other valuable things, beyond money and material comforts, such as enough time to reach our goals; a healthy work-life balance; nurturing relationships; good health; adequate energy and vitality; a sense of purpose; spiritual wisdom and authentic living; and lots of love, happiness and joy. These are the true luxuries of life!
An angel of abundance helps us to get into the flow of abundance, and help us understand that abundance is meant to flow. No wonder we refer to money as “currency.” The very name that we use to define our medium of trade in this reality, has its root in flow. An angel of abundance is therefore not so much about delivering lots of material stuff to us, but more about awakening us to the natural flow of life and our true spiritual purpose in this lifetime.
Harmonizing The Energy Flow Of Money
When I was younger, I never thought of money as being spiritual or metaphysical in any way. I never considered the possibility that our financial prosperity, or lack thereof, may be somehow connected to our thoughts, feelings and beliefs about it. Even after studying business, and working as an accountant for many years, I never saw the correlation. It wasn’t until I began to explore the spiritual aspect of my life, that I became aware of this link.
I became the sole income provider in my home, after my divorce. At this time, I began to look more deeply into my beliefs and associations with money. If you personally relate to my experience during those difficult days, you will also understand what it feels like to be totally overwhelmed when you are experiencing many new obstacles in your life to financial security and cash flow.
Fortunately, there has always been a logical and practical part of myself that kicks in when I’m faced with big challenges and difficult choices, especially around financial decisions. This instinctive part of me is a natural default from my years as an accountant and mortgage finance consultant.
When my inner accountant comes out, I look at the logical side of things and rationally reason my decisions. Then, on other occasions, the spiritually aware, intuitive part of me knows that if I am overly stressed and worried about money, I block my own energy flow from the Source of all things abundant. I have often also seen that my creative process and artwork doesn’t flow freely when I become too worried about finances – I just paint ‘mud.’
So, how do we find balance between our logical, human need for material security, and the intuitive, spiritual aspect of our soul that finds it easy to trust the unknown? How do we find that balance?
Home Is Still Where The Heart Is
This is a traumatic, stressful time in history for many of us, especially since there is so much confusing news and information to process and assimilate. We can, however, do a number of things during this extremely stressful period to make our lives easier, instead of cowering under the bed until it all blows over. Most importantly, we can choose to face reality with gratitude, courage and fortitude.
There should be precautions put into place certainly, but also there should be some joy and happiness, as well as planning for the future. We should be taking advantage of this blissful and happy downtime inside the place where we usually love, hope and live – inside our personal domicile, our home.
Never before have we had such ample opportunity to get to know our loved ones in a more intimate and connected way. Never before have we been reminded so deeply of the many reasons we have to be thankful for. This is a unique time in our lives, during which we can teach our children, as well as each other, that what appears to be a bleak and dire moment can certainly be turned around and changed into one of joy, appreciation and merriment.
Instead of sitting around feeling miserable, many parents have, for example, been contriving makeshift toys, contraptions and activities to help children continue to be happy and carefree, as they should be, whether it be indoors, or in their own backyard.
There are also many adults who are taking advantage of this ‘alone time’ to reconnect, not only with others whom they may have been unintentionally neglecting, but also getting to know and understand themselves on a deeper level.