life lessons
Learning To Say Yes To Yourself
It is in the empath’s nature to say ‘yes’ to just about anything requested of them. It goes against our grain. For some of us, saying ‘no’ also brings on fears of rejection, abandonment or letting someone down when it may be important to support them.
Rather than finding an excuse, or simply telling the truth, many of us give in and just go along. It just feels easier in the moment, and even validating or satisfying.
But when you end that phone call, or respond to another text, and you feel anxious and panicked, while you start going over all the other things that will have to fall to the wayside by saying yes, then you really are saying no to yourself.
Self-care requires that we sometimes say no to others, in order to say yes to our own well-being and peace of mind. Consequently, the person that you said yes to won’t be getting the best of you. If you have said yes at your own expense, then what you bring to the table for that person is stress and anxiety. Your best self will not be fully present.
Saying yes, when you really want to say no, can also lead to resentment that you then attach to the person who asked for your assistance.
Here the responsibility lies with ourselves. We teach people how to treat us and many times we don’t give others enough credit for understanding when we say no. Most people would rather hear. “No thanks, that time doesn’t work for me” or “I have other commitments,” instead of having to sense a half-hearted or less than enthusiastic yes.
Communicating With Your Spirit Guides
Each of us has spirit guides that are with us from the moment we are born, right up until we take our final breath. Just as they are named, your spirit guides are here to help guide you through life.
There are spirit guides who are with you for shorter periods of time to help assist you through certain situations, and of course, your closest spirit guides who will accompany you through your entire life.
What differentiates your guardian angels from spirit guides, is that your spirit guides, at some point in history, lived a physical incarnation on Earth and grew enough spiritually to earn the honor of title of being a spirit guide.
They went through very similar issues while here in this world, compared to what you will experience in your own life. This is why they become your spirit guide, devoted specifically to you, and this is what makes the two of you the best team!
Your spirit guides work with you in a variety of ways, therefore you have different spirit guides working in conjunction with certain areas in your life.
In addition to your guardian angels, you have protector guides who give you warning signs when things can be unstable or off in your environment. You also have a doctor teacher, a doctor chemist, joy guides, master guides, inner and outer band guides, as well as ascended masters guides… and that’s just to name a few of them!
Maybe This Is How We Mend Our World
I have certainly been trespassed against over the years, as I suspect you may have too: maligned, misunderstood, abused, betrayed. Many of us have been hurt and wounded.
For many of us lifetimes of pain also seem to rise to the surface now, as if this era has come to collect on both the debts and the blessings.
Some of my wounds in this lifetime occurred at a young and tender age, when there seemed to be no healing granted; when the best I could do then was retreat and lick my wounds alone. There was no wise elder at my side, no sacred ceremony to mark the grief, no balm from the spirit realms. Just the aching silence of pain, and the quiet hope that one day, perhaps, I would understand why.
Since that time so long ago, I have also seen much vindication. This ability to witness what I have called “the coming around of the going around,” hasn’t been only in seeing karmic issues resolved for little slights, but for big wounds as well.
I’ve watched as Spirit, with its own perfect timing, allowed clarity and closure to emerge…sometimes years later, sometimes through unexpected channels. There is a strange and sacred justice to the Universe that rarely moves on our schedule, but always, always moves.
Justice. Yes, always in the end. But what of forgiveness?
It all shifted for me when I came to know the ‘big picture’ in the powerful prayer, “forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those that trespass against us.” These words are not just religious rote, but an energetic key to spiritual evolution. Continue reading
The Magicless Misery Of ‘Compare And Despair’
I once attended a Toastmasters meeting where a gentleman was delivering his first speech to this specific group. It was an ice breaker to have us get acquainted with him. Instead of the typical short autobiographical introduction this speaker chose to give us an overview of his philosophy of life.
He told his audience that he sees himself entering a new phase of his life right now. He spoke about how important it is to get to know yourself and to take care of yourself first and foremost, and to always live in the moment.
After the speech and applause, the toastmaster reflected briefly on what the talk meant to him as he had listened. He said it reminded him of a mentor who had once, many years ago, said to him, “Compare… and despair”. If in life you are constantly comparing yourself to others, or comparing what you have with what others have, or what you feel you lack, or need to achieve, then all that will do is bring yourself unnecessary despair.
The only thing you should ever compare yourself against, his mentor added, is yesterday. Today did you do something constructive or grow in some way that makes you a better person than you were yesterday?
Too often we compare ourselves with our peers, both in our personal and professional lives. Why did he get a raise and not me? Why can I not find a soulmate like she did? Why can’t I be a successful entrepreneur like him? How come they get to have all these wonderful vacations?
The Simple Secret To Building Real Confidence
Building your confidence can feel vague or out of reach, like something you’re supposed to just know how to do, but often we don’t.
The typical advice is to do affirmations, spoken aloud or posted around your home, along with journaling and gratitude practices.
While these practices can help us cultivate things like intuitive awareness, inner peace or emotional balance, they aren’t always the most effective confidence builders.
There is one essential step we must take if we want to build genuine, lasting confidence. That step is action.
It’s easy to wait for confidence to arrive like a bolt of lightning, expecting it to empower us and prepare us to finally walk the empowered path of our dreams.
But the reality is that confidence doesn’t simply appear before the journey begins. It actually grows as we move forward.
Taking action can feel intimidating. You may not feel ready. You might believe you need more time, more clarity, or more skills. But readiness doesn’t magically arrive.
Change begins when we choose to take action, even if it’s imperfect. Manifestation requires more than thought and feeling. It calls for aligned, inspired action.
Trusting Spirit’s Guidance During Life Transitions
When life knocks you down, when things don’t go your way, when your dreams begin to feel like nightmares, don’t fall into the trap of believing it will never get better. Your life is not over.
Challenges like these are often small nudges from the universe, guiding you to face a new direction, to try something different, and to move forward. It’s a chance to release your past and forgive those who played a part in your pain.
Our angels, guides and ancestors are with us always. They feel our sorrow, and they celebrate our joy. They gently guide us toward the right path, but we don’t always hear that quiet inner whisper.
Our spirit allies will always try to intervene when something threatens us that isn’t meant to be part of our journey. Still, the choice to listen is always ours. When we ignore their guidance, we often find ourselves veering off course.
We’ve all done this. I know I have. In 2008, I was receiving clear messages to slow down and walk away from a job that was draining me emotionally and spiritually. But I resisted. I didn’t know how I would pay my bills if I left.
For months, my guides urged me to let go and move on. Eventually, I did. I quit. I had no idea how I was going to survive financially, but I knew I couldn’t stay any longer for the sake of my well-being. It took every ounce of courage I had, but I finally left.
False Education Appearing Real (F.E.A.R)
I love the acronym F.E.A.R. (False Education Appearing Real) since we all have people, circumstances, phobias and so forth, that can put us into that space.
Fear is an instance of emotion that is triggered by the awareness, or anticipation of danger. It can also become a state of being. Excluding clinical fears, needing professional help, there are many fears we simply impose upon ourselves as a result of life experiences.
One of my fears is acrophobia, the fear of heights. When I get within five feet from the edge of a rooftop, I begin to shake.
Climbing 30 foot ladders has me nervous and when I hiked to the pinnacle of the mountain of Macchu Picchu in 2004, I could not take those last six nervous steps onto the plateau pinnacle rock. This was partly being due to a few other tourists already sharing the rock… and I am a little “accident prone.”
Although I was invited by my partner and the guide, I leaned against the rock debating my fear, shaking a little at the prospect and wishing that I could take those final steps, as I might regret it after I hiked down. Part of me did regret not taking those last steps when we got back to the base.
Yet, a bigger part of me knew I had to acknowledge the feelings in the moment, and since I am not a regular exerciser, I already had accomplished something tremendous by taking the hike to the top and back down the back side of the mountain. On the way I enjoyed the magnificent views and spiritual energy for several hours. Continue reading