inner peace
The Self-Affirming Power Of Saying No
Are you the kind of person who has a hard time saying “no,” even when your heart isn’t in it?
Maybe you’re afraid of disappointing others, afraid they’ll distance themselves, or afraid they’ll stop liking you if you say no. Maybe your introverted side just wants to be liked and accepted by everyone, so you agree to things – even if it drains you.
I’ve experienced this myself and seen it happen to many people who come to me and ask, “How can I say no without feeling guilty?” or “If I don’t say yes, will I lose my connection with this person?
Saying “yes” out of fear, guilt, or obligation may be the easy way out in many situations, but it usually comes at a high cost to your personal and spiritual well-being.
Let’s acknowledge something important: You are enough just the way you are, and you are worthy of peace, joy and happiness. If someone truly values you, they’ll respect your boundaries, even if it means saying “no” once in a while.
On the other hand, if people cut you off because you set boundaries, they may not have been the healthiest presence in your life to begin with. True friends and meaningful relationships will respect your choices and understand your reasons without demanding constant explanations.
Over time, I’ve seen the toll that over-commitment takes. People who constantly say “yes” often end up feeling drained, overwhelmed, or even resentful. Some develop physical and mental health problems because they feel trapped by the constant need to please others. In some cases, burnout and depression set in, all because saying no felt like an impossible task.
How To Deal With Negativity And Toxic Drama
Many people today feel overwhelmed, angry, frustrated, fearful. This is especially evident online in the social media landscape. Unfortunately, too often this leads to attacks on others, including innocent people and companies.
It can be challenging to know how best to deal with all this toxic negativity. I believe it’s best to approach this issue spiritually, from a metaphysical or energetic standpoint.
Energy, whether positive or negative, grows when we feed it. Consider a plant: in order to thrive, it needs water, sunlight, and nutrients from the earth. If neglected, it will wither. The same principle applies to our interactions with the world around us: by paying attention to something, we feed it with our energy.
This is crucial to remember when dealing with any kind of negativity, both online and in person. To thrive energetically, we must be selective about who and what we pay attention to.
Huna, an ancient Hawaiian spiritual tradition, teaches that energy flows where attention goes. Every time we choose where to direct our energy, we’re making an active choice about what we want to grow in our lives. When we respond to negativity – whether with anger, defensiveness, or frustration – we end up reinforcing the very things we want to avoid. To maintain peace and harmony, huna advises focusing on positive intentions and constructive energy.
By giving toxic energy thieves our attention, we allow their negaivity to take root in our hearts and minds. Feeding negativity or drama only strengthens it, which ultimately affects our own well-being. When we consciously choose to withdraw our energy from negative influences and redirect it to uplifting and positive areas, we create an environment where peace and growth can flourish.
Forgiveness Is Choosing To Take Back Your Power
Ah, forgiveness! Such a misunderstood concept. For many people, forgiveness, as noble as it may sound, is very difficult, even impossible.
Sometimes certain wrongs are so grave to us that the offender doesn’t deserve forgiveness in our eyes. There is also a misconception that forgiving someone is tantamount to excusing or justifying their terrible actions. But forgiveness is not about absolving someone of responsibility. Instead, it is a powerful, personal act of release and healing.
When we forgive someone, whether they’ve hurt us emotionally, betrayed our trust, or even caused us physical harm, we’re not letting them off the hook.
We are not condoning their actions or giving them permission to repeat those offenses. Rather, we are choosing to free ourselves from the weight of resentment, pain, and bitterness that binds us to them and their past actions.
Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. It allows us to move forward without the burden of past grievances and with an open heart, free of resentment.
By forgiving, we determine for ourselves that the transgressor’s actions and the memory of their misdeeds will no longer hold us hostage or march with us into the future.
While we may not be responsible for what happened to us in the past, we are responsible for how we choose to carry the memory of it into the future. This is the power of forgiveness: it gives us the strength to embrace our present reality with clarity, compassion, and freedom. It also transforms our future, for it is ultimately a karmic choice that will shape our destiny in ways we will only understand much later in this life and beyond.
The Spiritual Wisdom Of Letting Go
I sometimes do readings for clients who feel they have to control absolutely everything in their lives. They are rarely calm, rarely happy, always frazzled. There’s a constant tension around them, a palpable anxiety, as if they’re always one step away from a meltdown, or even a complete breakdown.
Many of us have experienced this feeling or seen it in others – the compulsion to control every outcome, every detail, believing that by sheer force of will we can make life bend to our wishes.
But here’s the thing: life has a way of moving on its own, whether we like it or not. And often, the more we try to grasp and hold on, the more things slip out of our control.
A song that often comes to mind when I think about this is the song Let It Be by the Beatles. Let it be, let it be. There will be an answer, let it be. This timeless classic is a simple yet powerful reminder of the peace that can come from stopping to resist and simply allowing things to unfold as they are meant to.
Letting go is not about giving up; it’s about trusting that life has a rhythm, a universal flow, and when we align ourselves with it, life becomes infinitely more peaceful and enjoyable.
In my work as a psychic consultant, I’ve found that those who feel the need to control every aspect of their lives often carry a heavy burden of stress. They struggle to find joy because they are too preoccupied with micromanaging every little detail. Life becomes a series of hurdles and challenges, and instead of going with the flow, they are constantly swimming against the current. It’s exhausting and soul-destroying.