dating
Learning To Truly Be With Yourself
A fellow psychic encouraged me many years ago in a reading to be ‘with myself’ and not just ‘by myself.’ There was a difference she explained, as this was a process of getting to know our own true essence. But being yourself can be an uncomfortable pathway for introspection! It is a lot easier to distract yourself with work, entertainment, chores, socializing and all the other ways we tend to divert our attention away from looking within.
A wise client told me recently that it was during the recent pandemic lockdowns that her journey towards true self-love really began. My clients are often my most important teachers, as they prompt me at times to look deeper into a situation.
She had been going through intense periods of intense reminiscing, especially regarding relationships. Most of her flashbacks related to two significant past relationships which, after investing so much of herself, had not worked out.
One of her partners just didn’t want to commit and was wrapped up in a materialistic obsession of striving to achieve business success. The other, whom she loved very much, left her for another woman.
Ironically, after years of loneliness and looking for ways to fill that void, this ex she whom she used to love so much, recently got back in touch with her. Apparently, he wants to be a part of her life again, once he´s finally sorted out his disastrous relationship with the woman he left her for.
But she now feels she has healed, forgiven him, and truly fallen in love with her own company, and therefore she wouldn’t want him in her space too much, and that any future moments they do spend together will be on her terms.
She has nailed it when it comes to truly being ‘with yourself,’ instead of lonely ´by yourself.’
The Stages Of True Love
When we fall in love with a potential life partner, we need to understand the lessons and challenges it may bring. Couples grow further with each of these organic stages, and we can learn much about ourselves, as well as our beloved’s life, needs, wants, wishes, goals, and desires.
Those who do not make it through the initial stages will not stay together for very long, and if they do it may become a very toxic relationship situation. Meeting someone is only the first step of the journey. For lasting happiness and fulfillment, we must complete all the stages successfully.
The Matching Stage
Take a moment to feel each one of these checklist items and apply it honestly to your current relationship situation:
1: Attracted to what your eyes see.
2: Appearance, feeling comfortable with their way of dressing
3: Mannerisms, how they hold and present themselves.
4: Voice. Their voice sound has a comforting feeling.
5: Speech. The words they use resonate with your communication style.
6: Values. Does their values line up with yours in life?
7: Lifestyle. Does it blend with yours?
8: Obligations. Are they something you can accept?
9: Goals in life. Matching your goals is a must.
10. Past Experience, can you understand and let go of these.
Be True To Yourself To Find Your Soulmate
How do I find my soulmate? This is indeed the magic question. Many people are constantly searching for that special person, but just seem unable to find them.
Actually, achieving this life goal is often simpler than most people believe it to be. The direct path to your soulmate is paved with clarity of intention. Many people do not find what they wish for in life simply because they don’t know what they are looking for.
Sometimes, people end up finding the person they used to be looking for a decade or two ago, because they never ‘updated’ their intention. As we grow and evolve in our life, our priorities, goals, wants and needs change. But we do not always make the effort to match our intention and energy vibration to it.
To find your soulmate, the first thing to recognize, or reconsider, is what do you truly want? Make a list of traits you wish for in a partner: caring, sense of humor, fun-loving, adventurous, happy, joyful, good listener, honest, dependable, loyal, respectful, kind, confident, nurturing, strong, ambitious, trustworthy?
Keep the list short and concise, as the more complicated your wish list becomes, the longer and more complicated the manifesting process will become. Nobody is perfect, do expect too much. Instead identify your shortlist of ‘must have’ qualities that are non-negotiable. Identify your absolute deal-breakers.
You must look at what is really important to you; what is a priority. Once you have decided, stick to those items of priority. Every time you meet someone new, make sure the person has these qualities. If they don’t, move on. This is key to finding your happiness and fulfillment – not to settle for less than you deserve.
You need to believe you deserve this and to be happy. It sounds basic and simple, but you will be surprised to know how many people tend to put their own needs last and end up with someone who who treats them poorly…just to be with someone. It is important to remember you are important. Ask yourself honestly what you want, need and deserve.
Balancing Sun And Moon Energies
The Sun and Moon have very different metaphysical energies and we are strongly affected by both. For example, a circumstance or event that might make you sad during the day, may completely wipe you out emotionally at night. This is because our hormones shift at night.
I worked for many years teaching prenatal Yoga and helping expectant moms. Their emotions typically ran very high at night. Their concerns about labor was latent in their thoughts during the day, but at night they would sometimes become terrified. Most women also go into labor at night and give birth during the day.
Things become surreal at night. I believe our hormones, the Moon’s energy, and a lessened ability to see in the darkness all greatly affect us.
At night, the right side of the brain is dominant. This is our spiritual, intuitive, subconscious, feminine side. During the day, the left hemisphere of the brain is dominant. This is our practical, thinking, productive physical, masculine side.
The left side of the body is controlled by the right hemisphere of the brain and is Sun-based, while the right side of the body is controlled by the left hemisphere and is Moon based. The Moon exudes feminine energy. The feminine rules the right side of the brain, which is the maternal, emotional, creative, dreamy side. The Sun rules the left side of the brain, which is the paternal side which rules logic, production, protection, and work.
When you are having difficulty sleeping it is usually because the left hemisphere of the brain has kicked in when it should be inactive. This is when you start thinking about all the things you need to do the next day, or the stressful challenges you faced the day prior.
Small Steps To Big Changes
Making positive changes in your life can often feel like an insurmountable task. At times it can be so daunting that it might even seem easier to just have things stay the same, no matter how uncomfortable it has become.
This is especially true when we have been working on the same aspect of our life for years and still not seeing the results we were hoping for, whether the issue is weight loss, finances, health and wellness, family, career, or relationship.
For me the challenge was a particularly frustrating relationship situation. I felt that no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried to grow and move forward, I always got sucked back into the drama and negativity.
I continually called on my angels and spirit guides to help me improve the relationship, to heal our issues, release our karma, and so forth. I tried anything and everything I could think of to achieve some of the harmony and peace I so much desired in my life.
This went on for years, and I was ready to throw in the towel and just accept that this one area of my life would always be out of balance. But as soon as I let go, I received the most amazing piece of information from my guides!
They showed me how I was focusing too much on the big picture, or the end result. I also realized that because everything wasn’t miraculously healed over night, I was becoming frustrated and disregarding all the tiny steps and improvements I had been making in repairing the relationship.
My guides further told me to break the steps in the healing and reconciliation process down into smaller parts. Instead of seeking instant and complete resolution, I should be working towards small daily improvements. If I do this consistently, I will soon reach the end goal.
True Love Requires Action
My spirit guides have been pointing out as imperative for me to both address and bring to awareness a common theme that I have been noticing in my readings lately. It concerns love, romance and the Law of Attraction, and the importance of taking action when we are on a path towards manifesting a desired relationship.
For example, X wants a relationship with Y. They’ve been talking frequently over several months and have also been on several dates. They really seem to be hitting it off! However, rather than talking directly to Y about how she feels, X calls me for guidance.
But typically the angelic guides will return the responsibility to X in such a reading. Archangel Gabrielle, the Archangel of Communication, will come forward and gently nudge her towards taking personal responsibility by taking action. She will most likely be encouraged to communicate directly with Y herself, and to tell him how she feels about him.
Meanwhile, here I am, caught in the middle. I totally understand the logic of calling a psychic to ‘get a feel’ for what’s energetically going on with the other person, because it is usually scary to be vulnerable, put yourself out there, and have the courage to take that first step in moving a relationship forward.
But I also know that spiritual guidance can only take us so far in life. We also have to take action ourselves and accept personal responsibility for manifesting our desires.
So, my advice from both a spiritual realm and physical world perspective is to never underestimate the power of the mundane! Having a simple and honest conversation to voice your feelings, opinions or concerns can sometimes be the most powerful way to create and attract what you desire in your life.
True Love Is About Letting Go
Over the many years of doing psychic readings, I feel the best advice I have ever given clients is to let it be, and let it go. As difficult as it may be sometimes, whenever spirit shows me that toxic love cord connection, while there is still lifelong learning, soul growth and spiritual evolution to be had, then I know that person needs to release the energy that is holding them back and surrender to the flow.
The potential good news is that instead of losing the person we let go, the opposite often happens. Without all the energy attachments of anxiety, fear, obsession and worry, the other person who has been struggling to be separate, independent or free from the one that is holding on, feels the dramatic shift in energy and often change their mind and come around.
There is some real truth to be had from the 1981 rock hit Hold On Loosely by 38 Special that I still love to listen to. That song probably remains popular after all these years, probably because it offers such sensible relationship advice!
People sometimes come to me in turmoil, devastated and in tears, because they think it is over or never going to happen. If I see there is still hope and potential, I advise the client to let go and just go with the flow. The people we love are not always ready when we are. Sometimes we just need to give them a little space and time.
Sooner or later come around if it is meant to be – especially when we no longer spoil them with our constant, undivided attention, emotional coddling and obsessive thoughts. Every time we think of someone they pick up on the energy and begin to take it for granted. So, practicing ‘tough love’ tends to work wonders in the energy realm.
I have sees this advice work for most of my clients over the years, so I am sharing it with you today. If you intuitively feel a strong love cord that connects you with another, and that other person just does not seem to feel it in the same way you do, try just letting go for a while and see what happens. That person often comes around after a time left alone to think, ponder, and maybe go through some personal growth, trials and tribulations. Continue reading