abuse
Tell-Tale Signs You Are Being Gaslighted
You’re crazy, that never happened. Don’t be so sensitive. I’ve never had this problem with anyone else but you. It was never my idea, it was yours! Come on, you’re imagining things. Everyone else agrees, except you. You’re just making things up.
These are just some of the things you might hear when someone is gaslighting you. It usually happens whenever you confront them about their bad behavior, only to have your reality twisted in return…in ways that can really make your head spin!
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that most often shows up in toxic romantic relationships, but it can also manifest in dynamics with friends, coworkers, employers, family members, and even neighbors and landlords.
At its core, gaslighting is the manipulation of your sense of reality, leaving you confused, anxious, and doubting yourself and your own perceptions. Sometimes it’s very obvious and unmistakable. Other times, it happens so subtly you may not even realize you’re being manipulated.
The term “gaslighting” comes from the 1938 stage play Gas Light, which was later made into the 1944 film of the same name.
In the story, a husband tricks his wealthy wife into thinking she’s going crazy by making small changes to their surroundings, like dimming the gas lights, and then denying that anything has changed. His goal is to make her doubt her own sanity, so he could have her committed to a mental institution and gain control of her inheritance.
You Create Your Own Happiness
Too often, people find themselves trapped in a shadowed corner of life, believing that happiness lies just beyond the next relationship, paycheck, job, or home. But true joy isn’t found in any of these external pursuits.
As the Dalai Lama so wisely said, “Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” Pause for a moment and really reflect on that. It’s a beautifully simple truth, yet so many of us struggle to embrace it.
We’ve been raised in a world that teaches us to chase after happiness as though it’s something ‘out there,’ just one success or possession away. But here’s the sacred truth: happiness begins within.
This is a difficult statement for many to comprehend. “How can I be happy, if I have nothing? you might ask. “I am alone. I have no job, no money, no love.”
And yet, the answer is simple and profound: no one else is responsible for your life. No one else is responsible for your happiness. You are the sole creator of your reality.
Your emotional well-being, fulfillment, and general experience of life aren’t determined by outside forces, other people, circumstances, or luck. Living your best life starts with you.
Happiness isn’t something someone can give you or take away. What you think, believe, and do determines if you feel satisfied or unfulfilled.
Honoring Yourself In Difficult Family Relationships
Family dynamics can be tremendously complex for many of us. These relationships are multilayered and deeply ingrained, often playing out across generations.
Many of my clients seek psychic insight about family matters. After matters of love and romance, and then business or career, family is often the most emotionally charged subject.
In readings, especially with empaths, intuitives, and highly sensitive individuals, I hear countless stories of family pain. Many carry a sense of never belonging, of being misunderstood or scapegoated.
These emotional burdens are often the heaviest that people bear because they are tied to the people they loved first and still love, despite the hurt.
When control or finances are interwoven into the family structure, the complexity of these relationships multiplies.
For many, family represents a love-hate relationship or a deep bond that carries deep wounds. While we cannot choose our family, we do have a say in how we interact with them, how we respond, and whether we continue to engage.
Severing family ties is a significant and often heartbreaking decision that is never taken lightly. By the time someone considers taking this step, the drama or emotional abuse has often been ongoing for decades and is sometimes rooted in a vividly painful childhood.
Are You Holding On To The Wrong Person?
Many of the questions that callers ask me during readings have one thing in common: how another person is affecting the their health, happiness, and peace of mind.
Despite the differences in the details, the underlying story is often the same: the person’s inner light is dimmed because they have been giving too much power to another person’s choices, moods, or shortcomings.
Many people seem to be in the wrong relationships. They hold on, waiting for things to change and hoping for the best. They postpone plans, silence their own needs and preferences, and test the limits of their patience, believing that a breakthrough will come tomorrow.
However, that is usually not what happens. People do not change for another person, and if they do, it never lasts or works out in the long run. A change driven by the need to please someone else rarely survives the stress of real life. As soon as complications arise, old habits resurface. People can only change for themselves.
Spirit’s guidance on this is always very clear: hanging onto the wrong person — whether a friend, family member, spouse, partner, lover, or boss — prevents us from experiencing the best life has to offer.
When we’re busy monitoring someone else’s actions, we have less capacity for our own personal and spiritual growth. This prevents the amazing blessings waiting for us from coming in, not because the universe is ‘stingy,’ but because our time and attention are fully booked.
How She Found Her Way Back
Not every psychic reading begins in light. Some start in silence — the kind that weighs heavy in the heart.
When she first reached out to me, her question was brief, but the energy spoke volumes. There was pain behind her words, and she barely dared to ask: “Am I still in here somewhere?”
She had been in a relationship that, at first, felt exciting—perhaps even fated. “He swept me off my feet,” she once said. “I thought he saw me.”
And maybe he did, in the beginning — just enough to mirror back what she most longed to believe about herself. That she was worthy. That she was seen. That she was loved. But what unfolded was far from love.
The charm that once made her feel chosen gradually twisted into control, criticism, and a subtle erosion of her spirit. What looked like affection became possessiveness. What felt like closeness became confinement.
She had once been a vibrant, creative soul bursting with ideas and dreams.
But as time passed, she began to disappear. “I used to feel like a magical flame,” she confessed. “Now, I’m no more than a tiny heap of ashes under his tyranny.” Her sparkle had dulled. Her job unraveled. Her friendships faded.
But then she called me on Psychic Access and the runes reminded her that the embers of her true self and soul essence were still burning.
They Can’t Gaslight You If You Trust Your Gut!
Gaslighting can be a very destructive aspect of a toxic relationship. It basically refers to any form of “reality twisting” or “crazy-making” that is designed to confuse or manipulate the victim.
Gaslighting is used to gain power and control in the relationship by making the victim question their reality. The phenomenon is typically found in romantic relationships, but it can occur in all kinds of social relationships, including friendships, at work, and with neighbors.
Sometimes it’s done in an obvious way, right under the victim’s nose, but more often it’s done under the radar, and you don’t always know who’s gaslighting you, or even that you’re being gaslighted.
“Gaslighting” is a psychological term derived from the 1938 stage play Gas Light and its 1940 and 1944 film adaptations. The movie is about a husband’s attempts to systematically drive his wife crazy by repeatedly dimming the gas lights in their home, only to deny that it ever happened when the wife asks him if he also noticed it. Over time, he manipulates his wife to the point where she believes she is imagining things and loses her mind.
Gaslighting is a common manipulation technique used by dictators, con artists, abusers, sociopaths, narcissists, and cult leaders. It’s done in such a way that the victim rarely realizes how much they’ve actually been brainwashed.
At first, the victim may have the idea that they’re not imagining things, but that someone else is doing this to them. They may even have an intuition about who that person is. However, the goal of gaslighting is to get victims to doubt these rational thoughts and replace them completely with the belief that there is something wrong with them, either mentally, spiritually, emotionally, or physically. The worst part, in my opinion, is that it makes you doubt your own intuition.
Find Your Peace In The Present Moment
A theme that comes up frequently in psychic readings is how people inadvertently choose to live in the past, finding comfort in nostalgia or reliving painful memories that keep them tied to an earlier time. The past is often romanticized — a seemingly simpler, happier place, free from the burdens of the present.
For those who had a happy and idyllic childhood, the past may seem like a golden era. They fondly recall carefree days filled with laughter, unconditional love, and the security of knowing that someone else was responsible for making the big decisions.
These people long for the innocence of childhood, the guidance of loving parents, the support of trusted mentors, and simpler times. It can be a source of comfort, but it can also prevent them from fully embracing the possibilities of the present.
For others, the past is a dark and painful landscape filled with trauma, regret, or missed opportunities.
Some people carry deep emotional wounds from their past. Perhaps they grew up in an environment of neglect, conflict, or abuse. Instead of a safe and nurturing childhood, they experienced hardship, pain, or betrayal.
Bad memories, deeply etched in the soul, can feel like an unshakable burden. Those who have suffered often relive their trauma, carrying resentment and anger toward those who wronged them. For these people, the past is not a place of comfort, but a source of suffering that continues to affect their daily lives. Continue reading