News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

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No More Procrastination

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comDo you also procrastinate? Procrastination is the avoidance of doing a task that needs to be accomplished by a certain deadline. Or do you sometimes intentionally delay the completion of a task, despite knowing it might have negative consequences? Ninety five percent of people procrastinate at some point in life.

To break the habit of procrastination we must find some self-compassion when a task at hand causes us stress just thinking about tackling it. Some tasks just seem too big or overwhelming, and we can’t seem to motivate ourselves to get it done.

Procrastination makes most people feel guilt and shame. For some extreme procrastinators, negative feelings may trigger another reason not to complete a task. Only to become a vicious cycle of self-defeat. Most procrastinators tend to put off endings, as well as beginnings and commitments.

I have a close friend that has all kinds of ideas for a book she is writing. While collecting material, she put of starting the actual writing for three years. She felt she needed several points of view about the subject matter. She always needed one more.

Now, 13 years later, she can’t seem to stop writing the same book. The idea of being an author just feels so good to her now. The added benefit of this is that whenever she is asked what she has been up to, she loves to say, “I’m writing a book.”.

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How To Be A Good Friend

Click Here for a FREE psychic reading right now at PsychicAccess.comI just read a blog written by a spiritual person feeling angry and lonely. She had reached out to a trusted friend, but the friend only wanted to talk about her own problems. And when she did pay some attention to her plight, the best the friend could offer was to be judgmental and unsympathetic. The author then also reached out for support on a social media group for spiritually aware people. Again, all of the members did the same thing her friend did: they judged!

The woman was having problems with her abusive neighbor and many people on the forum were giving advice for her to leave. They told her to move, find a better place to live, relocate. “Moving is 100% your choice,” one person commented. The first thing I thought was no, it isn’t. This particular woman, for example, had bought the house and had put a lot of money into renovating the house. She would need to sell, at a time when not many things are selling, and possibly suffer a significant financial loss.

Some even told her to get more exercise, so that she can relax and focus on other things. They told her she was responsible for her own choice of reactions and feelings in the situation. The only insensitive, stereotypical thing they didn’t say was to take a breath and calm down. Don’t you just hate it when someone says that? It does everything, but calm you down!

The people responding, in their judgment, needed to feel superior. It was about them, not her. Her responses were defensive, understandably. I felt by her response, they made her feel more lonely. Poor woman.

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Shadow Work

Click Here for a FREE psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comShadow work is the process of learning to speak your fears, anxieties, shame, grief, and rage before Spirit, and having it witnessed by humans. The latter is needed to heal toxic shame and to get you comfortable with being your authentic self in front of other human beings. Shadow work is speaking out whatever is currently uncomfortable for you to say in front of others. For some people shadow work is speaking out about one’s successes, happiness, gains and accomplishments.

Sharing works best when you are specific and refer to date, time, place, and people involved in actual events, as well as describing the specific emotions experienced at the time and describing actual behaviors and actions that occurred.

A shadow work group, like 12-Step programs, provides a safe sacred space and a confidential environment, where others are there to listen and witness your journey of healing, without interfering. Shadow work groups understand that they are just there to witness, and know that the real work is between you and your Higher Power.

Shadow work groups give you a safe place to practice saying things that normally are not spoken, or must be said with careful attention and energy. When you share precarious, painful, fearful or shameful information with such a safe group, you will slowly, with the help of your Higher Power, be able to heal the emotions and energy connected to those issues and events.

In time, instead of those issues and events ruling you, you will have the space to make choices – choices on who to talk to in your life circle about delicate personal matters, as well as when to do it, how to do it, or if it is even safe to share with certain people, or not.

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Accountability Is Healing, Not Shaming

Click Here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comI could have never come this far in life all by myself, even with the help of Spirit. I needed, and still need, other skilled humans with a spiritual practice and evidence of their own balanced life, to help me see myself and my life in a way my wounded mind and psyche could have never comprehended on its own. Those mentors also gave me tools I didn’t even know existed, or if I did, I couldn’t put them to good use without their help. My spiritual teacher saved my life, more than once.

Yes, for our own sake we all need to be willing and able to receive assistance, instruction and guidance. When you are wounded, and especially when you are so wounded you don’t yet even know how wounded your are, because you have never examined your life and all you know are your wounds, Spirit can open a door for you. However you need to have the courage to step into the discomfort and do the work. And Spirit sends us humans to help us with this healing process.

Whenever we are introduced to new ideas, or encouraged to experience new feelings, it sometimes feels ‘abusive’ or ‘intrusive’ simply because we are often terrified of the unknown. This is true for most people. One may also feel distressed when a skilled therapist or spiritual teacher is, with your permission, showing you how to break down that ‘titanium wall’ you built to protect yourself from unhealed internal wounds.

It may also feel unsettling, when you allow yourself to be more open and vulnerable with a skilled teacher or healer, because in the past vulnerability led to pain. So, now you have control issues that you think are keeping you safe from harm, but are in fact only strangling you.

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The Importance Of Self-Trust

click here for a free psychic reading right now at PsychicAccess.comOf all the relationships in our life, none is more complicated or important than the one we have with self. And the cornerstone of this relationship is self-trust. Unfortunately, it is easy to damage the trust we place in ourselves. Why? Because all of us have or will make choices and decisions that don’t produce the desired outcome.

A relationship fails and we blame or question ourselves; a job opportunity eludes us; or a friendship fractures beyond repair.  We lose self-trust when we don’t achieve a goal, whatever that goal may be. Then we may begin to question our own abilities, our dreams, and our worthiness to have them manifest in our life.

Every time we replay an event we label a failure the doubt in our own judgment and our self-worth increases. Self-confidence stems from self-trust, so the cycle can be a vicious one.

So, how can we repair self-trust? First, decide to give yourself a break. You made what you believed to be the best decision or choice in the moment. If you are saying, “No, I didn’t, I know I should have done…,” then stop and choose to forgive yourself for not trusting your instincts in that moment. Holding a grudge against yourself only assures that the pattern will repeat.

Next, decide to honor your emotions. If you have made choices and decisions that you perceive as a failure, then the tendency is to begin to substitute the opinions of others over our own intuition, desires and dreams. This pattern can lead to co-dependency, confusion and fear. Self-trust is harnessed when we follow our sacred wisdom, instead of looking outside ourselves to provide inner peace.

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Dealing With A Narcissistic Partner

click here for a free psychic reading right now at PsychicAccess.comWe all know at least one narcissist. It’s that toxic person in your life who seems charming and likable at first, but is actually extremely self-centered, has an inflated ego, shows no empathy or remorse, and can even become abusive. But what if that person is your partner, or someone you love?

Narcissists want to control. They want others to see them as important, superior and in charge. To a narcissist, someone who suffers from compromised self-esteem, is easy prey, which is why many people who have a narcissistic partner find it difficult to break it off.

Abuse is not always physical. It also takes the form of verbal insults, emotional manipulation or gaslighting, withholding affection, and unequal sharing of duties. All of these forms of abuse feed into a narcissist’s egotism. Narcissists typically try to rope their partners into joining into these negative, harmful relationship patterns.

So, what do you do when you find yourself attached to an abusive narcissist? At first, it’s easy to try and explain away their abusive behavior by citing times when they shows affection, brought gifts, or offered kindness and emotional support. They are good at pretending, but don’t be fooled.

Setting up healthy and definitive boundaries is the first and best defense. Know that you have the right to say no at any time! Falling for gaslighting, emotional manipulation and blackmail is an easy trap, and most narcissists are masters at these psychological games. If you’re unsure of yourself, role-play with a trusted friend or counselor, or read up on the subject. Like most difficult things in life, it takes practice.

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Coming To Terms With Death… Our Greatest Ally!

click for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comBehind our pretentious mask lurks the realization that we have one authentic desire: to find something… anything that really matters. True desire is a funny thing. If it’s genuine, it must manifest.

According to one ancient esoteric law, manifestation occurs when we realize we don’t want or need the object of our desire anymore. In other words, when we’re no longer separated from ourselves by conflict, we can and do get anything we want.

What prevents us from finding and activating this unity within? The fear of death. Most often times, mortals live in deep conflict and continue to do so for a very long time. Inconsistency is another word that better describes the obvious division existing within us. As it is written in James 1:8 a “double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.”

We want to live so badly, but we know for certain that we are going to die. It’s a contradiction in terms we never really get over.

Contradiction forms itself in the midst of insincerity. The obvious apprehension associated with the idea of death produces an acute inability to communicate honestly and effectively. At our base lurks a finite, uncapped agony. Antagonistic behavior, whether managed, maintained and controlled appropriately, reveals itself in a myriad of deflated obvious ways.

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