self-talk
Do You Follow Your Head, Or Your Heart?
As a practicing astrologer, I often assist clients who are facing the head versus heart dilemma. Should they go with what their head is telling them, or should they follow their heart?
“My head tells me he’s so perfect for me. He is my dream guy on paper, ticks every box. He has a successful career, earns a solid income. He is someone my kids would love, the male role-model they so desperately need,” a client recently explained.
“But my heart feels so hesitant, like its beating for someone else I haven’t met yet. He is a great guy, but there no butterflies. It doesn’t make sense. I don’t understand why my heart is yearning for someone different?” she lamented.
“I can’t afford to be picky and my friends and family tell me I’m crazy to even question this incredible guy who seems to tick all the right boxes, but doesn’t put a flutter in my heart!”
The question is indeed, why would one trust an illogical feeling that can’t be quantified and measured using the neat little pros and cons list of the mind? In my Astrology practice, I have see this conundrum play out many times.
Interestingly, I find this vexing situation is often related to a Mercury Square Moon aspect in someone’s chart. Such a person will often take one side over the other, usually the head over the heart, and this habitual battle can result in a lifelong pattern of bad choices.
Culturally we’ve also been conditioned to always choose reason over feelings. And what others think often also factors too highly in a personal choice that’s best made selfishly. In my opinion, relationships are one of the few areas in life where we get to be selfish, because if we choose someone who will not make us happy, everyone will suffer in the end.
We are often told ‘trust our gut’ for good reason. Your intuition or inner guidance system knows far more than you do! But like a muscle, we must build it up, we must work it, flex it, to clearly register the signals it’s sending us.
The Healing Embrace Of Mother Nature
Throughout my life, especially during the most difficult times, the one thing I have always been able to count on is Mother Nature. Gaia, the Great Mother, has always served me well.
I grew up in California, where there is an abundance of water: water falls, creeks, rivers, lakes and the spectacular Pacific Ocean. I had quick and easy access to hiking paths, and other adventures and recreational activities in the great outdoors. In fact, next to dance, hiking was my favorite form of exercise in my teenage years.
When times are difficult, I have always sought out nature. It is so much easier to block out other people’s negativity when all you can see is God’s magnificent creation. It’s divine intent, joy, beauty, harmony, balance, and timelessness.
In the arms of Mother Nature, there is the freedom to tune out all the noise and toxic energy of others…and just hear the voice of Go. It helps you to center yourself, and clear out the negative energy and drama other people sometimes bring into your life.
I find that those of us who live in large cities and urban areas are more likely to get swallowed up by the negative energy of others. We can simply not get away from it in our daily lives. Going back to a home every day, where there is still a lot of radiation and traffic noise, will not let you heal or reenergize.
We all need to take the time to hear our inner voice. No cars, no talking, no noise. Just our own thoughts and inner guidance. We must make time to just hear the voice of spirit within. Otherwise, the voice of the ego that we hear in our head becomes toxic with negative self-talk.
God’s natural world is a temple of healing, a shrine of grace, a sanctuary for the burdened soul. This is why nature must also be protected. By protecting nature, we are protecting God. Mature is a gift to us from Source. It belongs to all of us, including future generations.
How Sticky Notes Can Change Your Life
We live in a world where we are bombarded with negativity every day. Whether it comes from social media or the mainstream news, it’s easy to feel like you’re drowning in a sea of negative information and fear-based messages. And the more we are exposed to all this negative input, the more we internalize it, until it becomes part of our self-talk and general state of mind.
Fortunately, the solution to some of life’s most complex challenges can often be found in the most mundane. Enter the simple sticky note! By writing down simple, positive affirmations or slogans on a bunch of sticky notes, and placing them anywhere you will see them frequently, you can significantly change your inner dialogue from constant negativity and nay-saying to one of possibility, hope and optimism.
Choose simple, short affirmations that resonate with who you are, and what you truly want in life. Whether it’s something like, “I am worthy,” or “Love surrounds me,” or even, “I will get that dream job,” it will inspire you to change the narrative and negative self-talk each time you read one of these short statements out loud.
This technique always reminds me of the famous opening scene of the television cartoon, The Simpsons, with Bart Simpson writing a phrase over and over on the chalkboard. There’s actually some method in the madness of this old-fashioned way of disciplining schoolkids. When our brain repeats a word or phrase over and over again, new neural pathways are created with new associations. Saying something once or twice only, we’re just as likely to forget it. But if it’s something we repeat many times, our brain will literally change over time, and so will our patterns of thought, feeling and action.
It’s been shown that establishing a new habit, or making new behavior automatic, takes on average about two months. Try placing your sticky notes in those places you spend most of your time every day: in your workspace, your car, on the bathroom mirror, the kitchen refrigerator, or on your bedside table. The more you see (and repeat) the words written on them, the more you will start to transform your thinking.
Overcoming Your Self-Limiting Beliefs
You’ve probably heard this before. I talk about this all the time. But the concept is one that has had such a huge impact on my life, I just have to share it! You are not your thoughts, or your feelings. You are the soul or spirit who has the ability to observe and experience your thoughts and feelings.
When I made this realization, I had already been working for years on my tendency to be very critical with my inner dialogue. But only when I paid attention to it from a spiritual perspective, did I realize how harsh I had really been on myself.
Our minds are constantly full of inner chatter which, when left unattended, can become a toxic breeding ground for fear, self-judgment and limiting belief patterns. Once I realized I was separate from my thoughts and feelings as a spiritual being, I began to observe them more objectively.
As a natural consequence of this, I found myself asking some really compelling questions. What was I believing about these thoughts? What kind of emotions are these thoughts bringing up? This kind of self-reflection opens a conversation with your heart, your soul, your higher self.
Your mind is designed to keep you safe. This too often means keeping you confined within your comfort zones and self-limiting beliefs. Your heart and soul, on the other hand, want you to grow and expand. The higher self wants you to learn, and play, and, and explore, and experience as much as possible in this lifetime.
Simple Self-Care To Improve Your Well-Being
We are living in stressful times, but this can also be a time of reflection, and looking into the future, making plans. If you are currently feeling depressed, or in despair, there are many simple things you can do to ease your mind, or lift your spirits.
To begin, take some time to reflect on how you are feeling. Often we are unaware of how things are really affecting us. Consider how you may be choosing to perceive things, and whether you need to take some time to truly process some of your thoughts and feelings. Just recognizing that you are sad, afraid, frustrated, or depressed, is already a step in the right direction.
Remind yourself also that some of your thoughts and feelings may not be unusual in these unusual circumstances. Many people are going through the same thing at the moment. You are definitely not alone.
Each of us react differently to unpleasant life events. Try to stay positive and not be so down on yourself. Try to be more proactive and take time to reflect on what is most important in your life. Meditation, and other forms of spiritual practice, is a great way to relieve stress in your life.
Take This Time To Find The Future Inside
The last couple of months have brought out a variety of emotions for all of us. They reach from anger, fear, frustration and anxiety, to kindness, compassion and love. People never see things in the same way, and differing views and opinions about the Covid-19 pandemic are causing confusion, noise and heated arguments on social media, in the news, in politics and in our streets.
One cannot help but be left to wonder, who is actually telling the truth? Whose facts are the most reliable? Is certain news fake? Are some of the things we hear or see just rumors, or weird conspiracy theories? Are some purposely spreading misinformation, or exaggerating what is going on? Is the situation possibly more serious than most of us realize, or less severe than we may believe? There are so many questions right now, not many clear answers, and a lot of uncertainty.
But instead of focusing on all the chaos and drama around you, it may be wise to instead shift your attention to something more important. Especially if you are currently still quarantined at home, this is the perfect time to evaluate what is going on deep inside your soul. It is the perfect time to spend in solitude and silence, go within, and allow your soul, your inner guidance, to speak to you. And if you are sheltering with family or friends, try to find a quiet place or secret corner where you can hide away for a while every day.
Maybe there are many voices out in the world today that we cannot trust. But there is one voice we can always trust – the voice within. Each one of us has a deep consciousness that holds the answers to our fears and life questions. Each one of us has a direct connection with spirit, and this is the best time to truly allow spirit to talk to us. Are you truly listening? Or are you merely flapping your mouth, and creating more fear or anger for yourself and others?
Review The Day For Better Sleep
Many of us are having trouble getting enough sleep these days. Even if we are currently not going many places and meeting a lot of people during the Covid-19 pandemic, we are still experiencing a lot of stress and disruption, which upsets our minds and unsettles our bodies.
In more normal circumstances walking outside might be a great way to relax in the evening, but even that might not be enough as to allow our body-mind to reach a fully natural balance.
There are also many medical resources for better sleep, of which the most common is the use of various sleeping tablets and herbal remedies. But sleep medications and even medicinal herbs require some caution and care, as they are not always harmless, and the side-effects may differ from person to person.
Some Yoga breathing exercises and meditations may also be useful, as they help balance the blood-flow and deepen the breathing. This is not a visualization technique, nor it is a ritual, but a simple process that may aid your sleep.
There are also shamanic techniques that include breathing, but the core idea remains the same: there is energy locked in stressful or painful events of the day, and the way to release it, is to remember them with a calm mind and a healing intention, maybe even a healing prayer, mantra or meditation.
Recapitulation, as technique taught by Deepak Chopra, is the process of reviewing your day, from beginning to end, every night before you go to sleep. It means to go through the events of the day, and digest mentally what has happened, instead of suppressing your thoughts and feelings. If we try to distract ourselves continuously, we might find we feel tired, but we remain restless.