self-pity
Slay Those Demons This Festive Season!
In my many years on God’s earth, I can earnestly say I feel I have ‘slain more dragons’ than St. George, ‘cast out more demons’ than the priest in The Exorcist, and conquered much bigger giants than young Jack when he climbed up that beanstalk. I am not hoping to gain sympathy by saying this, but merely to state that if I can put down my personal demons, with Spirit’s help of course, then I could help you do the same.
The year 2020 has been one of far too many challenges for most of us. Some of us have had to deal with unusual difficulties and challenges we may have never encountered otherwise. For me, it began with a cancer scare, then continued with the outbreak of the Covid-19 pandemic, and ended with me supporting my husband through a bout of deep depression. Indeed, 2020 is a year I will never forget, as much as I may want to!
However, my guides have been reminding me that I have also gained some blessings from this year. For one, I would say that my inner resolve has grown much stronger, and my desire to be of service and help others have reached an all-time high.
I am not suggesting that everyone must have reasons to appreciate the challenges this year brought, but as 2020 draws to a close, I do hope that the following practical strategies may help you to ‘slay some demons’ and end this year on a more positive note, in order to start next year with more optimism, hope and joy.
Find An Inspiring Role-Model
The one person who has always given me a sense of strength is the late Martin Luther King. He famously said, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
Whenever I am in a difficult, stressful situation, I always ask myself what would Martin Luther King do in my situation? In fact, I even imagine him by my side, giving me all the strength and motivation that I need at any given time. You can do this too by finding yourself a hero or heroine that inspires you.
Kindness Begins With Greater Self-Care
In a world where you can be anything, be kind. And kindness starts with being kind to yourself. When we are not kind to ourselves, we cannot be kind to others, and others will also be unkind to us! When we are not kind to ourselves we allow that type of behavior, be it from a spouse, sibling, friend, or relative.
So, kindness really starts with us. When we are kind to ourselves, the domino effect is that we are happier, healthier and more energized. When we are not carving out time for self-care, we are not being kind to ourselves, and cannot truly be kind to others.
Sometimes people can be unkind not even realizing it. How is that? Well, by playing the part of the victim, or acting like others are responsible for their happiness or contentment. They make others feel guilty, because they are putting their problems upon others, without realizing that it is often their own self-made issues.
Everyone has free will. We are ultimately where we choose to put ourselves. In the end no one else is to blame. Period.
A vital aspect of self-kindness is to employ healthy boundaries when others make us feel bad, because they are sad and unhappy. When we take better care of ourselves and come in alignment with our soul, body and mind, we can recognize this. You are not put upon this Earth to energetically fill up the cups of others. Learn to say no, and learn to stand up for yourself when others try to take advantage of you. This is one important way of being kind to yourself.
Inspiration In A Time Of Crisis
During this time of the coronavirus lockdown in Spain, I realize that I am fortunate, and for this I am very grateful. For example, I already work from home and I am also accustomed to a certain amount of social isolation, for reasons of choice, at least for the time being.
Furthermore, I can do and buy the necessary. Here in Spain, we are allowed to go out for necessities, to help the vulnerable, and to walk our dogs, but we are encouraged to keep our distance from others and make shopping a swift event. Again, getting shopping done as quickly as possible has always been my preference anyway!
But, even I am aware of missing the occasional coffee in town with a friend, or being able to travel back to the place I moved from last year, to have lunch with a special friend there. Where I live, people are very social and tactile, and interact at any given occasion. They love to meet at their neighbors’ homes, or in bars and restaurants, which are all currently closed.
I have been thinking how this situation might go one of two ways for many families, currently cooped up in small homes or apartments. They could become very frustrated, especially if there are small children confined in a small space. Or, they might get very creative with how to use their time, as well as appreciating being able to spend time with one another and their pets.
Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”
Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.
Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.
If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate. The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.
The Transformative Power Of Gratitude
The act of giving thanks is a transformative one. When we live in gratitude, our energy vibration becomes elevated, and this positivity spreads outward like the ripples in water. If you’ve ever heard of paying it forward, this is the same idea! Gratitude changes lives – both our own and that of others.
Being appreciative and giving thanks to others, to the Universe, to the Earth for its sustenance, raises positive energies which will in turn come back to us.
Sometimes being grateful can feel like a chore, or something we need to pretend feeling. Every one of us experiences hardship and adversity. Life’s challenges sometimes get even the most grateful people down. The best way to flip that into something positive is to make a list of gratitude statements, in your mind, aloud, or in your journal.
Are you grateful for your friends, family, your health, the beauty of nature? Maybe you’re simply thankful you were able to get up this morning, when many other people were not.
Make this process one from the heart. Feel the positive energy. After a while, it will become an uplifting habit, and your body and mind will start to enjoy the positive rush of feelings. Let this routine be the first thing you do in the morning, and the last one you do at night before sleep.
The Power Of Gratitude In Difficult Times
It is just as important to express gratitude and appreciation when we face the difficult times in our life, as it is when things are going well. In fact, it is even more important to express it during the hard times.
When our lives are on a downswing, the last thing on most people’s hearts or minds is to be thankful, or in a state of appreciation and joy. When we are struggling, our soul tends to be more aware of the negative energy of what is going on around us. This can ultimately attract the manifestation of even more negative energy, stressful situations and unpleasant events. In the end, even more bad days will come our way.
However, when we decide to stand strong and stop the downward spiral of our energy, and to be grateful for all of life’s lessons, whether good or bad, our energy begin to shift for the better.
When I pay my bills (a task that most of us really do not enjoy), I always write thank you under the last entry in my bank journal. When I think of the reason for doing this, especially when it means spending money on things that are not tangible and sitting in my hand, the explanation comes very easily. I am saying thank you for actually having the money to pay these bills – the hydro bill so I can have lights, the gas bill so I can have heat in the winter, the credit card bill for those urgent things I had to purchase, and the medical bill that allowed me to purchase the medication I need to keep my health in check, and so on. Even though these things may not be material things that I can feel or see every day, it means something at some point to make my life better.
When A Relationship Ends
When a relationship ends, no matter which partner ended it, a certain amount of healing and forgiveness is always needed. But people deal with break-ups differently and everyone handles it in their own, unique way. There is no right or wrong way. Some people seem to move on more quickly, while for others it can take months, or even years.
In truth, when a relationship ends it has usually been over for some time already. Some people take years to end a relationship, and often they have already grieved the relationship for quite some time.
It is all too easy to sit in judgment of your former partner, or place the blame solely on the other person. You may have been a really good partner in your own eyes, but what was your part in the puzzle of the relationship? One must look at all sides of the story to truly understand why the relationship did not work.
So, although a break-up is uncomfortable and painful, usually accompanied by lots of tears due to self-examination, your own part in any relationship failure must be examined for your own personal growth.
It’s hard to take a look at yourself and be brutally honest on all levels. For example, you may feel that your gave the relationship 110% percent. Well, truth be told, if you really were the only one giving your all to keep the relationship going, then you most likely also became resentful without even realizing it. Your own needs were probably not being met in the relationship. You started to lose yourself and became only the mirror of the other person.